Rainy Wednesday…

It’s a rainy Wednesday, hump day, and I’m bored.  This morning I spent 2 hours in the chair at the dentist’s office having the rest of my upper teeth repaired.  I’m pleased with the work, I think they look fucking great.  It’s such a nice thing to look in the mirror and not see any blemishes on my teeth!  They’re all pearly white, well as white as they’re gonna be for someone who consumes lots of coffee and smokes.  I do whiten them periodically, and after my deep cleaning/scaling is done I will have them professionally whitened to finish everything off.   I’m super happy that I decided to tackle this task now, before summer, and get it all done right.

If I could go back in time and talk to my 18 yr old self I would stress two things about physical care – take care of your damned teeth, brush a lot and floss and see the dentist regularly.  Secondly I would tell myself to take care of my feet.  Feet take a beating, and mine have been through a lot – to include ill fitting combat boots in the early 1980’s, when you didn’t get to wear running shoes to do PT in the Army, you wore your combat boots and your uniform, except for your outer top shirt.  You ran like you would if you were in a combat situation, not like you were on vacation and running for pleasure!

I laugh when I see soldiers doing PT now in their fancy workout clothes, matching shorts and T-shirts, and running shoes/sneakers.  Like the enemy isn’t going to stop and wait for your ass to get changed!   I believe in training in the same type of gear that you would be wearing in a real life situation.  I’m sure that they changed it, a while after I was enlisted, because of all of the foot problems caused by running long distance day after day in those old style Army-issued combat boots.  The boots were STIFF leather, mass produced for efficiency – not geared for comfort at all.  They had no interior support or comfort what-so-ever.  The boots were made for one thing, for a soldier to wear on his/her feet.  We would put them on and wear them into the shower and do squats to break the leather in a little bit.  Everyone got blisters and sores from them.  I ended up with bone spurs / calcium deposits on the TOPS of both of my feet from them.  The condition has never really hindered me or given me any kind of problem, other than it’s tough to pull on cowboy style boots over them.  But it looks a little weird.    After basic training was over I bought a pair of jump boots.  They were after-market black boots that we were allowed to wear if we chose to buy them ourselves.   Man, I LOVED those fucking boots.  I had them the entire time I was in, and when I was with the training unit in Virginia at the end of my tour I had put metal “taps” on them so that the trainees could hear me coming down the hall.  I thought it was only fair to warn them a little!  lol.  When I finished my tour, and I knew I wasn’t going to continue with the Army, I passed those boots on to a young female soldier who had really admired them, and who they would fit.  She was very proud to have those awesome boots.  It makes me smile even today to fondly remember the boots, the times I had wearing them, and the passing on of them….cool memories.

So I have about had it with this longer hair crap.  I’ve been keeping it like thisPicture 132016-11-22 07.01.43But really want to go back to my shorter cut for the summer, like this.  Ok, so arranging those two photos was a bitch, hope they look ok.  I just took the one with longer hair a few minutes ago.  The dog scratched me in the lip and chin, so my face is a bit of a mess today, but you get the idea.  What do you think folks?  Longer or shorter for the summer?

I miss my barber, Johnny.  He was cutting my hair for a few years, but he got himself back into some trouble, and disappeared from the barber shop.  I tried going to the other barbers there, but none were as cool or accepting of me as Johnny was.  We would sit and talk about women, sports, fishing and that sort of stuff.  He was well aware of my sexuality and that I am Butch.  He knew how I liked my hair cut, edged in and shaved up.  I miss that.  I’ve been just going to Supercuts, I figure they really can’t mess it up too badly at this length, if they do I’ll just go have it shaved up at he barbershop and start over.  I don’t mind it a little long on top, just not as long as it is right now.  Anyway, this Saturday I am going to get it cut, and I’m waffling between going to the barber shop or going to Supercuts.  Barbershop is $14., Supercuts is $24.  which makes NO sense to me.

I love it when I see the “men’s” cut at $10 less than the “women’s” cut….like your genitals determine what they are going to charge you?  I think it should be based on hair length.  Longer hair, more money – because it obviously takes more time and labor.  Short hair less, and crew cuts should be no more than $12. in my opinion.  I always tip too, at least $3.  I figure that’s good for the 20 minutes it takes to cut my hair.  I never have them wash or dry it, I take a shower and wash my hair before I go so that I show up with a nice clean head for them to work on.  Generally when I have my hair cut I also get my eyebrows waxed.  Sometimes not at the same establishment.  Supercuts is always good for getting that done, so that adds $10 to the price of my spiff up.  I think that it would be cool to have a barbershop that offered waxing and manicures.  The one that I used to frequent, Boston Barbers, had a pool table and a tattoo studio…I used to talk with Johnny about opening up a more upscale barbershop for us more masculine people of the world, where we could be comfortable getting things like waxings done, and manicures.  I won’t go to those foo foo places to get a manicure, but I’d really like to have one.  Currently I do my own manicuring every few days here at home.

Guess this blog has turned into a “grooming” blog for today.  My mind just wanders and this is where I ended up today.  Personal grooming is important.  It’s important to always look your best, so that you also feel your best.  I know that for me if I am looking good, then I am feeling good.  When I’m down I don’t give a shit how I look.  I try to not get to that point.  I’ve been on a roll lately with getting my teeth spruced up.  Now on to the haircut and maybe a couple new pairs of jeans and some new shirts this weekend!  I could use a clothes shopping trip for sure.  I’ll be one sharp looking Butch…maybe I’ll attract me a new femme….hey, it could happen!!!

We are approaching the 100 day mark for Old Orange Ass in the White House.  The last two weeks have been completely chaotic across the board.  He’s scrambling to make SOMETHING happen before Saturday.  He’s trying to beat the clock now, and I’m just afraid that he will do something irreparable like start World War III with Noth Korea, China and Russia.  He’s signing executive orders one after another, dismantling everything good that he can possibly destroy.  He’s gone hard after the environment and ANY protections for it.  From allowing coal companies to dump waste directly into rivers, to allowing endangered species to now be hunted.  He’s put a bill forward to close the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) completely.  The guy doesn’t BELIEVE in science or scientific proof / data.  That is very sad for the hard working scientists, like my niece, who are working to find disease cures, sustainable methods of fishing, air and water protections, etc.  Orange Ass would rather have our country as polluted as China is, with no regulations, where you can just dump raw waste off into the environment.  I say we start by dumping it right in Mar a Lago, on his golf course!  I am still so fucking angry that this asshole is our POTUS.  And I am very disappointed in my government for continuing to allow him to remain in office, despite his flagrant self-promotion and range of illegal activities.

Our country is very divided.  There are those who think that Orange Ass has done a good job thus far.  Then there are the rest of us.  He has done nothing.  All he has done is sign the multitude of executive orders.  He is trying like hell to run the USA like a dictatorship.  He doesn’t want the courts even to tell him when something he does or wants to do, is wrong.  He thinks that the judges work for him!  It’s fucking astonishing how stupid the man is, and how stupid those guiding him are too.

I make damned sure that I read up every day on what he and his cronies are doing in DC.  I watch the news every night and try to keep up.  Right now he’s busy telling everyone the 100 day thing doesn’t matter, that he’s done “great” things for America already.  he says he is “bigger than 9/11″….omfg…yes, he said that.  He “congratulated” a soldier for losing his leg in Afghanistan, yes, congratulated him…not said thank you for your sacrifice or anything like that, but “congratulations” for earning a Purple Heart.  Sick Fuck.  He is just totally clueless.  He wants to cut corporate taxes by 20%….which will please all of his rich buddies, and his own companies, but do nothing for the other 99% of America.  And he’s using all of this stuff to try to distract us from the fact that her is STILL BEING INVESTIGATED FOR COLLUDING WITH THE RUSSIANS!

Rant over.  I sure can get myself wound up about this guy and his destruction machine.

Cooking myself some frozen French bread pizzas for dinner tonight.  My mouth is slightly sensitive, but I think I can eat them alright.  If not, Nola loves pizza so she and Lulu will have a little pizza snack!  You all have a great night!

Peace.  ~MB

 

 

 

Under the Weather

I am starting out the week with one helluva summer cold.  Coughing my damned brains out, and got a stuffy head.  This sucks, considering that I am scheduled to have my bad tooth repaired tomorrow morning at 8am.  I am PRAYING that I feel way better and am not coughing, I really need to get that tooth fixed so it will stop cutting up the inside of my cheek.  So, I’m guzzling liquids, taking cold meds and sleeping quite a bit.  Been down since Saturday.  I am feeling slightly better today than I was yesterday, so I am hopefully on the mend.

I am trying to have a new attitude about life.  I have just been sort of sitting with thinking about a lot of things over the last 2-3 weeks.  I’ve decided that the majority of the problems with my life are self-imposed.  Yup, I am the problem.  Thus, I must change.  No more waiting for shit to happen, I am now on a mission to MAKE it happen.

I’ve also been giving much thought to setting goals.  I have mentioned this before, and it’s still weighing heavily on my mind.  Without goals in life you stay stagnant, you settle for the status quo.  I need change, so I need goals.  Because of my ADD I have to break the goals up into steps, but that’s okay, at least I can see the progress toward the goals with that approach.  I am a habitual list maker, I work well from lists.  So what I have done for each of my current goals is to make a list of the necessary steps  to achieving the goal.  It’s working nicely thus far!  My goal of having my dental work done is already underway, with several appointments already scheduled.

I am working on expanding the front porch so that it’s large enough for the patio set and grill.  It’s going to be really nice to be able to sit out there on nice days!  Right now it’s just sort of an “entry” porch, with not a lot of room for relaxing.  I am going to double the size of it outward toward the driveway.  I will also be painting the whole thing to spruce it up for the year.

The gardens are slowly coming along.  I’ve put in lots of bulbs and  am going to be putting in seeds as soon as I think the cold weather is behind us.  I’m skeptical right now, some nights are dipping pretty close to 30 lately.  We are currently under drought conditions here, we could really use some good rain.  No matter what I do I am going to have to water every night – not my favorite activity – to keep things growing.  The lawn is just about high enough for a first cut.  I am thinking I will crank up the lawn mower tomorrow and give it a once over – before the stupid office sends me a hate letter telling me to mow.  They are famous for harassing me lately.  I recently got one to slow down driving in here, fuckers.  Now I CREEP along like an old lady.

I’ve opened up the house today, all the windows and doors, to air it out, get the germs out of here and make myself feel better.  I even spent about an hour out there putting out my garden ornaments, getting the new bird feeder pole into place and filling the feeders.  It was good to get some nice fresh air in my lungs.  And tonight I am not coughing very much at all.  I have also begun taking my antibiotics, just incase they’ll help!

I’m off to bed now, nice clean sheets – sans cold germs!  Ah, it will feel good to sink in to those tonight.  I have a long day tomorrow with the dentist in the morning and a renal ultra-sound in the afternoon.  Hopefully everything will be fine with both.

Peace.  ~MB

 

 

 

Politics again…lol

I worked this morning and hid away all afternoon, trying to nap but with no luck in doing so.  I relegated myself to just staying quiet, cuddling with the dogs and doing much deep thinking.

Tonight I caught up on social media on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  I get a lot of my news blips from those places too…I’m always interested in what others find interesting in the news.  Of course 99% of what I read is about Trump and his cohorts.  I cannot understand how we are allowing him to continue on as President of the United States.  It just makes NO sense.  Every day he comes up with something new to destroy.  He hops from topic to topic, and never really give anyone any idea of what his REAL policy is on any one thing.  A POTUS with NO known real policy, no known “real” agenda – other than creating complete chaos across the board.

We are close to war in several places around the globe.  Trump is beating the war drum, he thinks he can just do anything he wants to do.  I seriously think he’s going to get us in to a war with North Korea first, and that will anger the Russians, the Chinese and others.  Soon he will have most of the major dark side world powers all lined up against us.  It may be a war that we lose.  I know that is something the US doesn’t think can happen, but in reality it CAN happen.  Right now I see no diplomatic negotiations taking place with any of our “enemies” like Russia, N. Korea, China or Iran (yeah now Iran is angry too).  It’s really fucking scary.  I dread the morning that we all wake up to the news that we have either attacked or been attacked by any one of the aforementioned entities.   It will be a very bad day.

When will we ever get to making some decisions here in America?  All we have done for the last couple of years is fight over things.  Nothing seems to be getting done or resolved.   Washington is locked up in partisan politics.  We have a very ineffective leader.  We have ineffective representation in Congress and the Senate.  It’s going to take a complete change of the guard to rectify this whole situation and that’s going to be one super nasty fight.  Our next mid-term elections are going to be very tell-tale.  I suspect that you will see more money than ever before being poured into the political coffers of many candidates.  And if we are to elect effective candidates it’s going to take a hell of a lot of real grassroots campaigning.  It certainly will be interesting.

Next week, when Congress returns from their vacation, they will be faced with dealing with the national budget.  If they cannot get it together then we are going to be facing a government shutdown by next Friday.  This shutdown will totally be the fault of Donald J. Trump.  Trump is insisting that there be $1billion for the construction of his famous wall on the Mexican border – that wall that he promised that Mexico would pay for – and if there is a government shut down I predict it will be over this issue alone.  He will let our government shut down over his idiotic idea of the wall.  I think he’ s THAT MUCH of an asshole.

Alrighty, that’s enough political shit for tonight.   For more specific stories you can always check out my daily paper on Paper.li “Relevant Times”  It gets tweeted out on my Twitter account daily, and is a composition of what’s happening on the political scene, the LGBT scene, and in the lesbian enclave of the world.  It’s kind of interesting.

I am considering upgrading my WordPress account to be able to post videos here as well.  You have to upgrade to a paid account to add videos.  Right now I use YouTube, but I am not completely happy with that venue at the moment.  Especially with some of the anti-LGBT stuff that has gone on with Youtube’s rules lately.  And Instagram videos are just too limited, I use that mostly for quick pics and to follow my younger friends’ posts.  I hope to have time this coming weekend to work on all of this.

Peace.  ~MB

 

A Taste of Summer

Ahhhh…the weather has been superb the last couple of days, hitting 75 here today! And it’s supposed to approach 80 degrees tomorrow!  I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I really do think that winter is behind us now.  (If it snows next week I will cry!) I even went out and bought some seeds and gladiola bulbs for planting.

Yes, I’m psyched that summer is coming!  I’m looking forward to so many things, gardening, poolside bbq’s and hanging by the bonfire on Saturday nights.  I’m looking forward to taking the dogs to the beach to run, to walking in the rails looking for birds, and to fishing from the canoe as I float around the lake.  But most of all I am just plain looking forward to sunshine and summer time happiness!

Everything has been going really well lately, I’m quite pleased with life at the moment.  I’ve been super relaxed all weekend, catching up on some much needed sleep and just doing my things as I felt like doing them.  Usually on weekends I will push myself to do a  bunch of work around here, but this last weekend I took the weekend OFF.  I did play around on the computer some, worked on my newsletter and online stuff a bit.  I find that stuff to be very relaxing, so I didn’t count it as work.  Yes, I deserved a complete weekend of ME time and I made it happen.

I have reset my privacy settings on a couple of my online accounts, and made them tighter in security.  Unless you are on an approved friends list now you’ll no longer be able to see most of my posts, unless I choose to post something publically.  Had to do this to block a stalker, and probably more than one.  I have come to the conclusion that stalkers are just a fact of life when you are on the internet.  And usually you’ll find that they have multiple accounts so they can continue to stalk you after you block one.  But hey, I’m not going to sweat it.  If these trolls have nothing better to do than follow me around the internet then let them have their fun.  Who am I to deny someone anyway? haha, I must be hella interesting to some people.  I’ll block what I am able to, and call it good.  I can’t be bothered to do the full IP address type of blocking at the moment.  That may have to come in the future.

I got my new camera working, the batteries arrived in the mail from Ebay a couple of days ago.  I’ve only got $20 invested in this little camera, it’s a Nikon Coolpix S560  10mp digital camera.  I like it because it’s very small and easily fits into my pocket for me to carry around.

Here are a couple of pics I took with it just to test it out.

Not bad for a $20 camera!  I’m going to be doing a bunch of things around the house and in town over the next couple of days, while I am off, and will try to post more pics now that I have this camera to work with here.

Tomorrow I am going to be preparing seeds for planting, soaking the morning glory seeds, and starting other seeds in containers inside the house.  It’s still not quite time to do any outside planting except for bulbs – which I have a bunch of to plant as well.  I have quite a few seeds to start, and also a bunch to sow directly into the soil when the time comes.  I’m thinking that the gardens will look pretty darned good this year!  Plus I’ve been doing much more methodical planning of them this time around, being my second season with my home here.  Yes, the place will look great!

Last night we had a huge fire here.  The old State Street Saloon in downtown Portsmouth caught fire and it turned into a major inferno.  Eventually the buildings actually collapsed and it has created quite a mess in downtown.  Here are some photos:

I used to hang out at the State Street Saloon back in the day, when I used to drink.  It was always a great bar and also had great food.  Played many, many games of pool there with my old friends.  While I haven’t frequented the place in quite a few years now, it will be a little weird to drive by there and not even see the buildings anymore.  It’s going to be a major loss for the downtown area overall.  I am planning to take a drive into downtown tomorrow to check out the scene for myself, and get some more photos.  They’re not sure what caused the fire, but think that it started in the back end of the kitchen on the first floor.  I heard that they may not be able to ever really know because the destruction is so complete.  Most of the roads around it are closed until they can haul all of the debris away and get the area cleaned up and safe once again.  Fire is so devastating.  Thankfully no one was injured or killed.  And there were 17 people living in apartments in the buildings, so it’s quite a miracle that none were hurt.

I have lots to say about the current goings on here in the US, and about the US attacking Syria, but I am going to hold off for now.  Things are still developing, and the Russians are becoming more conplicit every day.  I’ll spare you my political rantings tonight.  🙂

Be kind.  Peace.  ~MB

 

 

 

 

You Missed the Damned Runway!

When you seek to incapacitate an airport the first things you target are the fucking runways and infrastructure.  Obviously, Trump didn’t get the strategic memo.  Yes, Trump had our military bomb a Syrian airport with 59 missiles, at a cost of $88.5M, and he MISSED the runways completely.  What he actually “took out” hasn’t really amounted to much since the Syrians immediately started flying missions from that airport after it was bombed.

I’m torn over how to feel about this recent development with Trumpy.  The Syrian leader was ordering gassings of his own people.  Due to lack of coverage of the area we don’t know exactly how many people he has killed in this manner, but the recent numbers are around 100 for this latest incident.  I agree that Assad needs to be stopped.  I agree that his bombing his own people with nerve/chlorine gas was excessively cruel and inhumane and probably could be classed as a war crime.  How the United States chose to take this unilateral action in bombing the airport where the gas supposedly originated, is what I am not in agreement with.  Trumpy didn’t even consult with his own Congress before ordering this act of war.  He just did it.  Oh, wait, he did inform Putin that he was going to do this in advance of doing it  (according to NBC news report).  THAT angers me.  the United States owes Russia NOTHING, not even courtesy in my opinion.  Putin is just as bad as Assad as far as I understand.  Putin is supporting Assad, thus he is a little pissed off at Trumpy right now for throwing those bombs at Assad’s planes.

The world is just so screwed up right now.  We have this situation that the US is now directly involved in in Syria.  Then we have North Korea doing a lot of sabre rattling of their own.  China seems mighty quiet about it all.  Which makes me suspicious.  I am not a fan of war.  I don’t know if it was right for us to take this unilateral action, why didn’t we have support of our allies in doing this?  Why did we not put together a multi-national coalition to strike against Assad?  I suspect that it is because Trumpy needed to create another “distraction” for his base and the American people to keep the heat down on the Russia-Trump investigation….YES, that is STILL going on.

It will be interesting to see where Trumpy takes us with this action against Syria.  The US has no real “interest” in Syria.  They don’t give us anything that Trumpy wants or needs.  As a matter of fact, he has them on the no-immigration list…he doesn’t want to take any refugees from Syria her in the US.  Funny, he’ll scold their leader, but won’t give them the help that they really need.  He has not yet explained to the American people what his plan is for Syria now.  He has not explained it to Congress.  He has been very tight lipped…and when he did speak about it just after it happened he was reading (very badly I should say) from a script that was obviously written for him.  You can always tell when Trumpy is not speaking his own mind, he doesn’t have any passion in his speech, he goes all mono-toney and it LOOKS like it’s painful for him to be reading from a script.

I pray for the people of Syria.  They are in a very, very bad space right now.  They have a brutal, corrupt dictator, ISIS and anti-government rebels.  Civilians are caught in the middle of it all.

We here in America are so fucking lucky.  We have not known war on our own soil in any of our lifetimes.  We have not known the suffering, the fear or the plight of living in a war-torn country.  We complain about our incompetent president, we complain about the weather, or about other menial things….but we do not know real suffering.  I can only try to imagine what that kind of life must be like for them.  I hope Assad is deposed in some way very soon and that the country is rescued from the grips of ISIS as well.  I hope that the United States takes the RIGHT actions, provides humanitarian relief and does what it can to help the Syrian people.

In the meantime, Trumpy got some positive attention for his bombing order.  That’s not a good thing, because now he’s had a taste and wants more.  Buckle up, this could be a very bumpy ride.

Peace.  ~MB

Territory

Prompt of the day via Daily Prompt: Territory.

“It comes with the territory” we say sometimes.  Referring to doing something you HAVE to do, or knowing something you KNOW, because it’s part of who you are.

Example of “it comes with the territory” is me being a Butch lesbian and being seen with me getting you automatically “out-ed” as being lesbian too.  Yes, it comes with the territory alright.  Just like getting heckled, and harassed sometimes comes with the territory of being LGBT as well.

Your personal home territory is something you know; something you are familiar with and comfortable being in.  I like my space around me, it’s my territory.  I am fiercely protective of my territory, staking it out and guarding it always.

Unfamiliar or “uncharted territory” would be that space you are not familiar with; where you don’t have experience, thus you are “walking into uncharted territory” so to speak when you first encounter it.  Example would be me trying to give a lecture or write a piece on childbirth, for me that is “uncharted territory” as I have absolutely no experience in it at all.

We “mark our territory” in a vast number of ways.  We write our names on things, like putting our names on the mailbox when we  first move in is our first “mark” on the territory that we will then call home.  We reach out and touch things, arrange them the way WE want them in another act of marking our territory.  We put up signs, post reminders, leave notes and file complaints to guard our territory.

We refer to our territories as “my” or “mine”.  As in “my yard” or “my area of expertise”.  “The house is mine”  or “The deal is mine.”  Taking ownership of our territory as we see it as rightfully owned by us.  This is called being “territorial”.

This blog is MY territory.  It’s a space where I put down my thoughts, reactions, emotions and explanations.  It’s MINE to do with as I please.  And I am VERY territorial about it.

I thought his Daily Prompt word was a good one today, sort of a fun exercise.  Of course, my explanations of the word are from more of my personal use of it.  I am not being overly technical or using the dictionary definition.

Thanks for visiting my blog and reading me today.  I appreciate your visit and invite you to hit the like button and also leave me a quick comment about what you did today – it was a “snow day” here in southern Maine, snowed in and just hunkered down chillin all day.  It afforded me time to do a lot of indoor household chores like cleaning out the fridge and pantry – something you don’t necessarily do every week.  I got a lot of those little things done today.

Peace.  And be kind…it counts!  ~MB

A Glimpse into My Life

I know I’ve been writing about a lot of different things lately, like my political rants and things like that, so I thought I would write you all a personal note tonight, to say #1, I am very very appreciative for all of your presence here on my blog.  Thank you for your readership, comments, conversations and support.  It means a lot to me, I mean it.

On more personal notes, I’ve been doing quite well lately.  I’m strong in my recovery and have been attending Groups: Recover Together meetings every Wednesday.  It’s group therapy for opioid addicts, primarily heroin and oxycodone.  We meet weekly, voluntarily are tested for substances abuse, see the doctor once a month and pick up our Suboxone prescriptions.  The Suboxone is a life saver.  I haven’t felt this good about my recovery ever.  The suboxone kills the cravings for the drugs.  Flat out.  It’s a miracle drug in my opinion.  I had previously tried detoxing and maintaining with methadone, but I found that it made me high just like the heroin did and I didn’t want the “high” feeling.  With the suboxone you don’t get that, you just don’t have the craving for the opioid at all.  Don’t know why, but it works the balls!  I highly recommend it as part of your recovery program if you are an addict.

Also, the group therapy piece is important too.  It gives me a place where I can bring up subjects and talk about things that are challenging during this process, with other people who are in similar situations with their addictions; a place where I am not ashamed and can actually be proud of my accomplishments and have someone understand that pride.

Around home things are going really well.  I did run out of heating fuel this weekend, which was unfortunate.  I didn’t want to pay for an emergency weekend delivery so I borrowed two 5 gallon diesel fuel containers from my brother and hauled 20 gallons of diesel over (2 trips to the station) and put it in to burn until I can get 100 gallons of heating oil.  The hardest part was getting the furnace running again.  I had never had to do that before, so I watched a YouTube video on it, tried to bleed the line and get it running myself…no luck.  Several tries later, I conceded my defeat and called my heater technician.  He came by and was here all of 12 minutes, got it going and walked me through the entire procedure so that I can do it myself next time.  I just have to get over to Home Depot and pick up a jumper wire, which will help me to get it going in the future if this ever happens again.  I’m going to be a bit more vigilant now and not let it run out!  I did calculate and figured out that I am burning approximately 50 gallons of fuel mix per month, in the dead of winter, to heat this place.  That’s not bad!  And knowing this will give me a better idea of how to budget for next winter’s oil deliveries.  Live & Learn.

I have been uploading new videos to my YouTube channel.  It’s been a struggle to get back into the swing of doing videos.  Plus, of course, I have changed a little bit in the last couple of years, and the world has changed too.  I’ve gotten older, perhaps a bit wiser, and definitively more comfortable with myself.  It’s fun to go back sometimes and watch the really old videos of my younger, cockier self.  I feel like I am much more conscientious of what I am saying in my videos now.  I am more aware of my own internalized phobias and prejudices to begin with, and I fight to change those.  I never realized that one could have those types of things.  I like to think of myself as open minded and educated, but I had to admit that I, like most every person, also have my baggage and am not perfect in my thought processes.  Like today for instance, I was reading about the Russian people revolting against Putin and the powers that be in Russia where they suffer under his rule.  It occurred to me that while I hate Putin and Russian politics, I am not a hater of the Russian people, and I hope they over throw that demon.  Formerly, I would say I hated Russians…but it’s not exactly that way, it’s more a hating of the authoritarian rule of Russia and a healthy fear of it as well.  Am I making sense?

The first day of Spring was last week, but it still is very cold and wintery here in southern Maine.  I am really looking forward to some warmer weather, sunshine and the greening up of the landscape.  Right now everything is brown and dead looking, with smatterings of snowbanks that haven’t yet melted.  It will be good to see green grass and buds on the trees soon.  I always fight my depression more in the winter too.  Although this winter seemed to be a bit better on that front.  I had my best friend Linda around a lot and she helped me snap out of my moods quite often.  She wouldn’t LET me get sullen and depressed; she would refocus me on doing things to keep myself busy and not give me time to get bored, which often brings on the depression for me.  I really thank my lucky stars that she is there for me.  I’ve even come to depend upon her in many ways, which takes a large amount of trust for me to do.  She’s shown me real friendship, and for that I am grateful.

The dogs, Nola and Lulu, are doing great.  Of course they have been cooped up a lot with the inclement weather of winter too.  I try to get them out of the house any chance I get, taking them with me in the truck whenever possible.  They love to ride in the truck and are just as happy to wait for me in the truck when I get out to go into any place we stop at.  Thankfully they are good dogs, don’t chew or destroy stuff and can be trusted to wait patiently while I get things done.  As the days get warmer we will do more outings like going to the local beaches and parks for walks and outside time.  They also have a nice pen outside of my house that they can safely be outside in during good weather, and to do their business every couple of hours.  That pen is a lifesaver.  I built it right out my back door, so all I have to do is open the door and they can scoot out into their yard, which is like 20′ x 40′ in size.

So, there you have it.  A basic update about me.  No politics.  No deep questions.  Just a little window into my more personal side.  I’m healthy, happy and doing well.  And I hope all of you are too!  Peace!  ~MB