Tomorrow would have been your 80th birthday, but you died just four months ago, Mom. I miss you so very much. I think of you every day. I want to tell you things. I want to show you things. I want to watch you plant gardens and cook lasagna. I want to hear your laugh, see you do your goofy dances around the pool and hear your stories of growing up on Wilson Road. Yes, I miss you – everything reminds me of you.
Thank you for being such a truly great mother to me and for teaching me to be strong and stand tall. You never criticized me or lied to me. Your confidence in me encouraged me to be the best person I could be and to the best I could do. I wasn’t always smart about things, I got myself in trouble more than once doing the wrong things. I fought internal battles that I didn’t tell you about when I was young; yet, I know you saw me struggle with those demons and I know you did your very best to be there for me. Yes, you were truly the best mother I could have ever had.
You never gave up on me. Never. Not once. Even when I was at my lowest in a dope house, an addict in need of help – you were there. You drove me, sick and withdrawing, all the way to the VA hospital in Togus to detox. You never gave up, even when I was truly at my worst. Even when I fell back, somehow you got me back in line and kept believing in me. You were the only one who ever truly believed in me. I miss you.
Maybe you didn’t always agree with my choices, didn’t care for many of my friends or didn’t understand how to deal with my love life, you didn’t ever try to “force” me to change. You let me be who I am and you trusted that I would be ok and would right any wrongs when the time came to change. You took the time to learn about the LGBT community, had other friends who turned out to be part of it too, accepted my being lesbian and loved me no matter what. Once I got past the difficulty of my younger years, outgrew the booze and bikes, settled down into a more smooth and secure life for myself and took my responsibilities much more serious we would talk deeply about things. We became not only mother and daughter, but we became friends. Very good friends. THAT I miss the most. And I thank you for your trust and friendship as well.
WE had some terrific times Mom, we laughed uncontrollably, cried appropriately and even had our little bickering arguments on rare occasion. You told me you loved me EVERY time we were about to hang up the phone or I was about to leave your house. You always wanted those to be the words I remembered, and they ARE still the last words I heard you say to me…I love you Mom…and I miss you terribly, but I am OK – as I promised you I would be.
Happy Birthday Mom, I will always love you and miss you. I will think of you every day for the rest of my life.
Angie
MainelyButch: Private Label 