Texas…Day One

I’m currently in Houston visiting my girl. It’s nice to be away from Maine and the cooler weather. Although it’s spring there, it’s still wicked cold! It’s pretty nice for me here, warmer temps, nice breeze, sunshine and lots of blooming wildflowers painting the landscape. Plus, she’s here and that counts the most for me!

I flew in early today. The flight was pretty unremarkable as I slept the whole damned way! Houston is HUGE. Far larger of a city than I am even close to being near! It may be the largest city I’ve ever been too…although LA is pretty damned big too! Houston has sprawl, as my girl tells me, it seems to go on forever in all directions. I am NOT used to a place this large or sprawling. She’ll definitely be doing all of the driving around these crazy highways! I’ll take the sightseer’s seat next to her and just try to look cool! 🙂

I’ll be here until Sunday night. I hadn’t been to Texas in quite some time and the last time I was mostly out in the Austin area. A friend from my days in Austin caught wind that I was here and he happens to also live in Houston right now, so we are going to have coffee or something before I leave. I’m not really going to be here all that long and my main focus this trip is to spend time with her and the kiddo. We haven’t seen each other in 3 months…which is double the time we are used to being apart. The long-distance dance is a delicate one, and not for the weak of heart.

So I am off to enjoy a few days of bliss in Texas. I’ll try to post every day while I’m here.

Peace! ~MB

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Greetings. I do hope that you who are reading this are doing well, staying healthy and managing your stress well in this chaotic world spinning around us all. These are trying times; my own stress level has been pretty high, so this week I had to cut way back on my consumption of televised news coverage – especially of the USA’s current political debacle. It just makes me insane and an insane MainelyButch is not a good thing! heh heh. It’s been about 3 days now, and I’m feeling much less craziness in my head.

Spring has arrived. On Wednesday, the first day of Spring and the Vernal Equinox, I got up really early, before dawn, and drove down to the town beach to watch the sun rise. The velvet black sky was clear and the stars twinkled as they faded and the sky grew lighter. It was a gorgeous morning, clear and quiet – just what I needed, some peaceful beauty. I took advantage of the time and shot a whole sequence of photos, from before dawn to sunrise. The pictures came out nice. I’m adding some to the post for your enjoyment. Let me know what you think!

My first shot…I had been at the beach about 20 minutes and it was growing lighter gradually.

The ocean was so very calm; sweet day for the first day of Spring 2019

…it’s coming up, geting brighter!

First light…this is a spectacular moment in the sunrise!

And there’s the sun…rising over the northern Atlantic Ocean as seen from the southern coast of Maine. 3-20-2019

I tried to make those photos fit better here, but I am having issues this morning with WP’s new layout…not sure I am a fan of this “block” system. I will keep working on getting better with the platform.

I took my dogs, Nola and Lulu, with me to the beach, which they enjoyed immensely! It was quite cold, about 20 F so they didn’t stay on the beach long before they ran back for the warmth of the heated car. Funny girls.

After the beach and some chores at home I had to take my friend to the doctor’s for a pre-surgery check in. We took the dogs with us. On the first day of Spring the local Dairy Queen ice-cream shops have “free cone” day, so we went there after her appointment – dogs in tow, of course! They absolutely LOVE ice cream and Dairy Queen’s soft-serve is their favorite. Lulu has bad reactions to milk based foods (milk, real ice cream, cheese) so DQ’s soft-serve is best for her when they’re allowed the ice cream treat. It doesn’t make her sick like other milk-based products.

her comes the ice-cream!

SCORE!!!

After our adventurous morning I came home and worked on a bit of organization in my shed but it needs quite a lot more. I need to just dump everything out and reorganize it completely on a warmer day in the near future. I tend to collect things and I am always seeing items and thinking about ways I can repurpose them. My buddy teases me about it incessantly because I am a thrift and antique store addict. I love those places and the messier they are the better; sifting through to find the treasures no one else envisions. I see an item and I start the mental reconstruction that turns it into something else; maybe something useful or decorative. You just never know. The “one man’s junk is another man’s treasure” is totally true for me. I have some great collecting stories of exciting and unique finds.

I have been working on an outline for a podcast. I am going to be podcasting on Stitcher. I will be posting a link once I get the pilot episode finished and up for listening. Any ideas are super welcome! I am also going to be contacting some of my followers to be guest hosts. The podcast will be focused on LGBT+ topics, interviews, guests, Q&As, and movie/book/music reviews. Of course it will be leaning toward the Butch-femme dynamic and community interests because that’s how my brain is wired. I am kind of excited about it and hope I can do a decent job. If you have any ideas, requests, possible topics, etc please drop me an email or leave it in the comments. I am looking for your input!!!

Ok, it’s early on Friday morning, I have to work in about an hour, so I am going to end this here and wish you all a Fantastic Freaky Friday!

Peace ~ MB

Reaction to the Methodist Church’s Anti-LGBT+ Declaration

I’ve been contemplating writing this blog post for days now…since the conference and decision by the United Methodist church to treat LGBT people differently; to deny them marriage ceremonies and the opportunity to serve in the church by ordination.

Let me first tell you that I am not very heavily involved in my church, which is the United Methodist Church, but I was raised in the church, attending Sunday school and later participating in teen Youth Group and Sunday services. I was baptized in the UMC at age 12 and today I go occasionally to remind myself of my upbringing and to see the people at church who I didn’t get to see otherwise very often.

The church I attended, since I was a toddler, was St. Mark’s United Methodist Church in Kittery, Maine. It was very old, built in the 19th century and if walls could talk I am sure it had many memories and secrets it could tell. I once kissed my boyfriend while we were up in the belfry to ring the bell calling people to church one Sunday when I was just a kid. I learned the “trust fall” in our Youth Group meeting one evening in my teens. I attended weddings, funerals, services and special events at this church. I sang hymns from the old wooden pews, prayed with my congregation, and put my money in the offering plate as it was passed from person to person toward the end of every service. After church services on Sundays, I would gather with the rest of the people in the community room downstairs and drink coffee, have sweet snacks, and chat about life with the others. I shared in love, laughter, anger, sadness, and tears with those people. They were my church family. And somehow I always thought they would continue to be that family when I needed them.

Then, during a huge convention held by the UMC, comes this completely hateful judgement against the LGBT+ community of the Methodist Church; against a community that has dutifully supported that church and who were formerly proud to be treated fairly equally by the UMC – at least here in the USA. A formed statement denying the LGBT+ members church marriages, the opportunity to serve the church in formal capacity, and any equality with non-LGBT+ members.

My own church always seemed so welcoming and I once even spoke before the congregation about being a lesbian living with HIV even. Now I discover that what I formerly believed about the UMC is all based upon lies. My church is control and owned by a governing body that openly declares and professes that it will provide NO support, inclusion, protection or tolerance for the LGBT+ members.

The whole thing makes me sick. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. All of those years I had been supportive of my church and had been proud to be a member now mean absolutely nothing. My existence is an abomination to God in their governing body’s eyes and minds.

I am sure that not all of the private members of the UMC church share these feelings, LGBT+ or not, I know I have supporters but it’s the whole damned idea of being shunned in this fashion on the world stage. I have read that many of the congregations around the country have bucked this decision and are telling us they love and support us despite this ruling and I appreciate that but it doesn’t negate the fact of the matter.

It is high time to END federal tax exemption for ALL religious organizations. Time to stop treating churches like they are “neutral” spaces – because they are NOT. Churches preach political views, are homophobic, bigoted and racist organizations and it’s high time we stop supporting this behavior being perpetrated in the name of “God” and “religious freedom” – BULLSHIT is what it truly is.

Atheism is looking mighty good these days.

Take a Better Look

Another blogger, Fandango and a blogger he follows, Efisoul63, came up with a series of “getting to know you better” questions that I thought were kind of interesting. And knowing how eager all of you want to know MainelyButch better, I decided to post my answers.

What keeps you up at night?

Mostly the political news emanating from my country, the USA, right now. I am very concerned about the leader of the country possibly being a Russian agent and systematically destroying the tenants of our country. I am very worried about the rise of hatred, discourse and increased poverty that is happening here. It feels so strange feeling so insecure about America in this way. I’ve never worried about our democracy like this before in my 57 years on this planet – until Jan. 2017, the day the world order changed for all of us.

What’s the most surprising self-realization you’ve had?

That I really am enough. I fought to figure out who I was for decades in my youth; struggling with drug and alcohol abuse which I used to hide my insecurities about who I am. I wasted time trying to be things that other people wanted me to be, instead of just being my authentic self. Once I came to grips with this and worked through some of the specifics I found myself far happier and more contented with my life.

What’s the most illegal thing you’ve done?

This is a dangerous question! I have on both sides of the law for much of my life. Today I stay on the right side, out of trouble and safely within the legal zone. Any illegality I was into involved illicit drug procurement. I never did anything that hurt anyone else, no thievery, damage, harm or hurt.

What lie do you tell most often?

I don’t like lying at all. I work to be very honest in all of my affairs, so I am not aware of any lie that I tell – especially one with any consistency.

What do you regret not doing?

Sometimes I regret not making the military a career and in until retirement. I was a damned good soldier and I liked the lifestyle – except the part where I had to deny my sexuality as a lesbian, that is why I chose to eventually get out when the time came for me. I would have loved to have stayed in the Army and done more traveling and service to my country.

What gives your life meaning?

The love of my family and my girlfriend. I am so lucky to have all of their support behind me in all that I do, and I will never forget that for a second.

What do you most often look down on people for? What do you think other people look down on you for?

I’m not sure I’d call it “looking down” but I really question the intelligence of anyone who is a “Trump follower” and who actually believes his rhetoric and the hundreds of lies he has told. I feel that people choose to not seek out the facts or fact the reality of things, instead they blindly follow his lead – which they will eventually come to regret.

As far as others “looking down” on me…maybe because I have not always lead the most exemplary life; not always done the “right” things according to the views of others. Not that I really care about those opinions now, but there was a time that I let those things affect me in the worst of ways.

What bridges do you not regret burning?

All of those connections I previously had to a darker side of life.

What are you most insecure about?

Sometimes I wonder if I am really on the right path, doing the right things for myself because at times I feel I have grown a bit complacent with life. Finances have been a point of insecurity for me so I have been trying hard to rein in things and live well within my means by making smarter and better choices with my money.

How do you get in the way of your own success?

I am a great procrastinator. I often wait too long to pull the trigger. It’s a hard habit to break. In fighting depression I often am lower energy, which just adds to the procrastination factor.

What’s one thing you did that you really wish you could go back and undo?

Life happens but armed with the knowledge I have today I wish I hadn’t dabbled in the darker world of drugs for so long or so deep. That’s my only real reversal wish.

What are you afraid people see when they look at you?T

That I am much rougher looking than I really am inside. I may look tough, but I have a big heart and am a kind person. Looks can be deceiving.

Well, this was kind of fun. I look forward to doing more of these types of questionnaires as they come across my reader list. Hope you all enjoyed this! Maybe some of you would like to give it a shot too!

Way back memories..

…turned on the tv tonight and saw k.d. lang was on Maine Public…the Ingenue re-do concert from San Antonio, along with an interview with her…

Here’s the video trailer

And this is her and Melissa Etheridge in 1994…now THIS is the stuff I remember; going to these concerts, raising holy hell…fuck yeah. Of course, when they did this duet I was only 32…damn, to look that young again…My hair was about the same as k.d.’s back then too.  80’s and 90’s memories are pretty intense, and lots of fun for the most part.

This time of year brings up lots of old memories. I see various commercials that remind me of things gone by; of people and the historical events of my past. Some nostalgic moments and some that I’d rather not have in the old memory banks, yet there they linger.

My favorite childhood Christmas memory is from the year my parents gave me and my sister, Deb, a fully set up aquarium with fish and all the fixing! They got it and set it up under the kitchen sink to get it ready for fish, then they got the fish and kept it running under there without us two ever finding out before Christmas morning when they surprised us with the beautiful fish tank. It was like 1967 and we lived in an upstairs apartment of a duplex in Poughkeepsie New York, not far from Vassar Brothers Hospital, where my siblings, the twins, were born in June of ’68.

Memories make up the history of who we were; where we came from and what we experienced in life that led us to be who we are today. Good and bad, they all intertwine to compose each of us as individuals.

What is your favorite childhood Christmas memory?

Peace ~ MB

Christmas Kit

This is great advice for those of us attending demanding Christmas festivities. You can’t pick your blood family…but you can demand their respect!

Queer Talk

Christmas is a time of year that can be difficult for queer folks. Big family events are often tumultuous times of a queer person’s calendar and it can be scary facing family members who may not be so accepting of your sexuality or gender. We’ve put together a Christmas kit to help you through the holiday season so that you can enjoy a mince pie or two without worrying what your conservative Uncle will say about your rainbow socks.

Patience

Chances are, you’re going to have to put up with at least one family member who has views so outdated Moses thought they were chic. A simple subject like pride marches or how many genders there are can go from polite dinner conversation to all-out screaming match while your Aunt Sue tells you she doesn’t hate you, just your ‘lifestyle’.

The best way to deal with these kinds of family…

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The War on Women…Be Aware.

I just read an article in the Atlantic titled “The Authoritarians Are Waging War on Women.”

Keeping up with world affairs is daunting to say the least. I am one who strives to know as much about what’s going on in America and around the world. I particularly research political corruption, hate crimes/groups, humanitarian crisis, political murder (such as Jamal Khashoggi’s) and women’s oppression. So much is happening all around the world and it’s very hard to keep up and to distinguish what is most important.

Right now, I personally feel that we are in the midst of worldwide political upheaval, power grabs, and the installation of corrupt leaders in many countries -often by whatever means necessary, skewing the vote, voter fraud, coups, etc. Trump may be the USA’s biggest issue at the moment, but in reality, he is only copy-catting those leaders that he sees and admires who act in brutal, authoritarian ways to enact the harshest conditions and expectations on their constituencies.

So many fractions are happening. This is intentional by these authoritarian heads of state, such as Trump, Bolsanaro, Duarte, Putin, and Mohammed Bin Salmon (MBS) to name just a few of the obviously more prominent. They work to pit one group against another, like blacks against whites, gays against straights, Christians against Jews/Muslims until they have fractured the population into the smallest in-cohesive groups possible. There is no chance of a cohesive movement to rise up against an authoritarian leader if he fractures his constituency into the smallest possible groups who hate one another. Hilter did it very successfully and we all know how that turned out for 6 million Jews and hundreds of thousands of soldiers and innocent other civilians.

Trump is very anti-woman. And if you will take 10 minutes to read the article highlighted above about the authoritarian war on women globally you will possibly understand just a bit more of why. He has NO respect for ANY woman. He views women as 2nd class citizens, as “stupid”, and as objects only good for pleasure when he so desires it. He does NOT believe in women as leaders of anything. He fears all powerful women especially and works diligently to undercut their authority and disgrace them, degrade them and slander them. His treatment of women is disgusting to say the least. Just remember his visit to England and how rude he was to the Queen, cutting in front of her, speaking nonsense and belittling Her position. He believes that women should NOT be in any position of power and should always obey men in every instance. 

Women that work for or follow Trumpy with enthusiasm are agreeing with his anti-women in power ideology. Sadly, for them, they are fine with allowing the men around them to lead the way and to do whatever those men direct them to do. Even lie for them like Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, Trumpy’s press secretary at the moment.

Of course, as a woman, I am quite concerned by these tactics and with the disregard we women are being treated with around the globe. Women are literally threatening men of power, and some will lose their lives over it in some countries. We must all stand together to fight this sexism and stop the hate. 

I wanted to post this tonight because of the article in the Atlantic. We get so riveted on the headlines of the day that we forget to watch for things we should also know and understand. By creating “big” headlines opposition directs us away from the important underlying issues and situations. We must keep our eyes and ears fully open; to know all we are up against in this fucked up world right now. My dream is to leave this world a little bit better than when I entered it…one word at a time if it takes that. 

What did you do to celebrate yourself today? 

Peace & Kindness ~ MB