Butch Stuff, Lesbian, LGBT Community Issues, life stories, Personal Thoughts, Trans Identity

Writer’s Block & Publishing a Book

I have just discovered that there is an app for Writer’s Block.  Yes, it’s true.  Someone had the where with all to figure out that us writers are occasionally mentally constipated and need a brain laxative of sorts to get things flowing once again.   The app is aptly called Writer’s Blocks, see what I did there?! ehehe   I even made that a nice hot link so you don’t get lost trying to find what I am speaking about here.  I’m a smart ass I know.  It becomes me sometimes.  Sometimes it just makes me look like a jack ass.  Who cares.

I often suffer from not knowing what to write about. Lately I ‘ve been focusing more on a book that I would like to compile and publish, a book of short stories of incidents and situations I’ve encountered in my very bizarre life.  I’ve lead a very interesting life and had some pretty wild, and some mild, experiences.  I’ve met some great people and I’ve met some looney tunes…and I want to write a book and introduce my readers to them all. Won’t that be fun?  eheh…I think it will be for sure.  Good thing I have a very good memory, plus I have oodles of journals that I can reference if I forget the details.

I’ve been toying around a bit with Writer’s Block the app and I think I am going to like it – a LOT.  Which means I have to throw up $119 to buy the actual program once my free trials is expired in 14 days.  But if it works as well as I am hoping it does – and so far so good – it will b well worth it to organize myself for some better, more professional and better writing.  Especially if I am really going to put my ass in gear here and do this book I keep talking about.

I’ve talked about writing a book for years. I was personally life-partnered with a publisher for 14 years and she always encouraged me to do it, but I just never felt good enough.  So why am I thinking that I am good enough now?  Well, for one I have read some books that were published that I thought were terrible and couldn’t believe that a publisher actually picked up the book and did it.  I know I can and will write better than some of what I have seen get published.  Secondly I just feel like it’s time for me to get off my ass and do it.  It’s in me, I can feel it and I know I can do it.  I’ve just been a lazy and fraidy cat fuck. It’s a very vulnerable thing to put yourself and your work out there for the public to read.  I do it every day with my blogs, so why not with a hard copy book?

I have great inspiration in my writing.  I am a big fan of Ivan E. Coyote and S. Bear Bergman for two. They both write in much the same style that I intend to write in – short stories.  They compile books based on true short stories of incidents and the goings on in their lives.  These two write a lot of about being Butch and now about being Trans also.  I shall write about those things too, just from my own perspective and angle.  There are not enough Butch writers out here doing this, we need more anyways.  (I have hot linked both Ivan and Bear’s names above to their web sites. I encourage all to visit and check them out. They are two of the best LGBT writers alive today. And I guarantee you will love their work.  Ivan even has several Youtube videos if you like to hear examples of their work).

I get contacted quite frequently by young Butch girls who are trying to figure out how to be in life. Mostly teenagers and some younger 20 something Butches too.  One question came up the other day that intrigued me coming form a 17 yr old.  She asked me “If I am Butch does that mean that I have to grow up to be Trans and be a man?”    She says her friends say that she is supposed to want to be a man, and that being Butch is only a half way point between the two.  I wished like hell I could have sat these girls down and had a really serious conversation with them and learn where they are getting these kinds of thoughts.  Today’s world is so confusing for these kids.  I can just imagine what it would be like to be growing up Butch in 2016….much different than when I grew up in the 60/70’s and we just didn’t talk about things like this.  It’s good that it’s so open now, but is there such a thing as too open?  Are there really any boundaries anymore?   It seems all so technical now, and there are soooo many words and definitions (remember my recent blog on definitions?) that it confuses even the best of scholars I am sure.  So here are these two kids trying to figure out if Butch means you have to choose to be a man when you grow up….without adult guidance; the guidance of someone who is knowledgeable and keen on the subject even, they are destined to flouder until they find the right answers.  I am go glad that there are GSAs in most schools now.  I should probably be volunteering to help out with the GSA at the local high school here too.  Because this stuff frightens me and these kids need mentors and people to look up to who have been where they currently are now.

So, tonight I will work on Chapter 2 of the Washington DC story…I’m sure you’ll see it by week’s end.  I’m also certain that it will be more than 2 chapters, so it may take me a bit here.  I am going to use Writer’s Blocks to produce the next segment of the story, so I will let you all know how that goes as well.

Peace & Love




Butch Stuff, General Blips

Why Should I Keep Blogging?

I just read the most awesome and inspirational blog about what keeps people like me blogging and writing.  Despite having major computer issues right now, I am compelled to write more and more.  I am battling the computer and still I love it, I have a serious passion for writing that’s what spurs me on to continue to post to this blog even though I feel like it is somewhat “stuck” right now.

I had the thought that maybe NOW is the time…right now…to take the leap and make some MAJOR changes to this blog.  It’s time to do some house keeping, to delete some old blogs, perhaps update some, reorganize and spiff it up a bit.  I have all this time on my hands with waiting for this move to happen, why not use it to improve something that is near and dear to me – my BLOG! Yeah, that’s the ticket, I need to seriously focus on doing exactly this.

I’ve been blogging here and elsewhere since 2008.  This was not my original or first blog, I think I started way back on AOL (remember those days?) and when I quit AOL I smartly printed out my whole blog on there, which I have neatly tucked away in my files in storage.  Some of that stuff would be great to re-read and edit to post on WP.  I eventually ended up here a few years back – I can’t even remember when now!  I really like WP’s platform, the options and the fact that it’s free.  I never could really get into building myself a real webpage, although I did try a couple of times over the years, I just never quite figured it out.  I don’t have to do much of that kind of work with WP, I can post all I want, and I have rarely tweaked the pages much.  There is a LOT of crap, tons of posts that can be deleted (and will be very soon), and moved around.

Right now I have 423 public posts, 15 private posts and 82 documents I’ve written sitting in my “drafts” box!  Amazingly I have just over 330 followers/readers, and I’m just 34 views shy of 100K!  I NEVER check my stats or look to see where my readers are coming from, but I did today after reading Greatness via Passion’s blog titled “The Most Important Reason Why You Should Keep Blogging” – an awesome MUST READ for all fellow bloggers.

There are so many things that keep me blogging.  Recently I’ve been blogging about mundane things going on in my life, but in the past I have blogged about all sorts of topics mostly related to living Butch in a small southern Maine town. I blogged about love for a while when I was in a rather heated situation with someone, but I have now chosen not to blog about my love life at all.  It’s something that I will probably continue now to keep private and I will be removing all of the blogs related to that affair as well, although I have to say it was some of my more passionate writing from the heart.  It was not worth the pain in the end.  And is not something I wish to remain in this blog any longer than it takes me to bring the posts down to my private stash.  It’s a year of my life that I will just keep in private memory, and that does not need to be read by any future readers.

Some of the reasons I blog are….

*Passion for writing, the process and the thinking involved

*Community building, meeting new people, making new friends and cultivating great relationships and stronger connections.

*Therapeutic stress relief.  I tend to be very stressed out and writing helps me to think things through.  I am passionate about life and what I am doing all the time, writing keeps me grounded and on track.  It’s also a lot cheaper than the weekly visit to the head doctor!

*Wanting to somehow change the world one blog and one person at a time, to make my mark and let my opinions be heard.  I love a good discussion, and when one of my blogs spurs a discussion I am very pleased.  I promise to do a much better job now of responding to comments to make that happen a bit more!

*I love to share my life and stories with other in hopes of maybe inspiring someone else along the way.  I welcome comments and emails anytime.

*To embrace my life today, and to remember how I got here.

For these, and a ton of other reasons too long to list, I shall remain dedicated to this blog and I won’t give up (as I have been considering doing as of late).  I will be making many changes, and doing much weeding of the garbage out of it, like I have said.

I thank Greatness Via Passion for the inspiration and for really lighting a fire under my ass….yeah I will probably continue to swear, it’s something I do when I am really passionate about something or some subject.  🙂

Please if you are a writer/blogger go read Greatness Via Passion’s blog (link above) and I hope you are also inspired to really look at why you blog and tell us why too, and tell us what you plan for your blog going forward!  ~Peace~


Gender Identity, Trans Identity, Transgender

Introducing a New Blogger…”Trigger Warning”

I have a buddy named Ryal, that has just recently started blogging on WordPress.  Here’s the link to his blog:  “Trigger Warning”  yes, the name of the blog is Trigger Warning, and I will add that there are some seriously blunt topics discussed.  He’s just gotten started and could use our input and interaction on his blogs!  Won’t you subscribe and add him to your Reader list?

It’s all about diversity and supporting one another in our journey’s through life, right?  I definitely think so!  🙂  Have a great day folks!


General Blips

About My Blogging

I am following suit again and blogging about my blogging experience and my take on things related to blogging, another great prompt from Opinionated Man. or was it Confessions of an Average Mom?  The web is spreading!

I started online blogging way back in the hay-day of AOL, remember them?  I blogged about my daily life there, about my experiences as a horse farmer in southern Maine.  I recently discovered a hard copy of the old blogs from AOL, which I had conveniently printed out.  I say conveniently because I have long since lost my user name and password to that site, and I believe I do still have a profile on there, which is now FAR outdated!  I’ve pondered how to reconnect to AOL a few times with the intention of deleting my profile.  I never have followed through though, because I have no idea HOW to!

Originally I started blogging as a way of venting and also to allow my “friends” on AOL to get to know me a bit.  I had stories to tell and kind of wanted an audience to see if any of them were interesting enough for others to want to read.  Reading back over them, I can now see that my writing has matured quite substantially over the years since then.  I stopped using that platform in 2008, and never have figured out my old user name and password!

Then I started a Youtube channel in March 2009, yes 6 years ago this month!  Happy Vlogging Birthday to Me!  I enjoyed Youtube, or YT as we’ll now call it so I don’t have to type it out a million times, because at that time it was a fast connecting community of people video blogging – or vlogging – about all kinds of personal topics, and less about commercial production like it is now.  I built an audience on YT, mostly of other LGBTQ people because much of my vlogging was about issues and subjects that would interest my LGBTQ community.

When I started blogging on WordPress (WP) I had to basically start over in building a new audience, this time of readers instead of watchers.  I used YT to sort of promote the start and continuation of my written blog, mentioning it in my videos as I saw fit, by linking the two sites wherever possible.  As of late I haven’t been “vlogging” very much, in lieu of the fact that I enjoy “blogging” more.  I’m never going to be a video star, but I am and will continue to be a published author.

WP has been a great experience, and I like the platform because it looks and feels more like I am truly a writer — which I tentatively call myself in moments of self-confidence.  In my opinion actual blogging “sites” such as WP or rival Blogspot/Blogger, and others seem to be primarily about reading and writing and not about building the most beautiful or interesting “profile” like sites such as AOL and Facebook are about.  The difference clearly is that those are “social networking” platforms, and while WordPress has some social networking ideas behind it, it’s mostly about the writing.

It’s been like a game of connect-the-dots in a way.  I’ve been trying to build an audience for my wares, which in my case is about my writing and my writing is about my experiences and opinions about things that are parts of my life.  I try to write about things that I know about, and if I don’t know enough about something but wish to learn more then WP becomes my jump-off platform for gaining the knowledge that I need to write about whatever it may be.

Probably the best blog I have read about how we are weaving “intricate webs” through our interactions and blogs is by a young woman who has a blog called Confessions of an Average Mom.  In this blog “Blogging about Blogging”, she really lays it out very clearly how we each benefit from the other through influence, inspiring one another, reading, and feeding of of one another’s creative energy as we each build and share our audiences.

My blog has gone past the point of being “directed” toward the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer) community these days.  Now I write for a wider audience, for my any and all readers who fall all across the human spectrum of identities.  I think I used to limit myself by thinking I could “direct” my writing to just the LGBTQ crowd.  While lots of what I write is from the perspective of a Butch Lesbian, it’s not all about my being queer anymore…it’s about my life and my world these days.  I know that I do have a fairly large following by my community and by supportive allies.  That still matters to me, but it’s not all that matters.  I just want to have a diverse audience, and want to make my writing better, more interesting and sometimes hopefully helpful to someone.

I’ve gained some great insight into blogging from Harsh Reality’s Opinionated Man who seems to be the super blogger and has some great, thought provoking, inspiring and even aggravating at times, posts on his blog.  I wish I could think as fast as he does!

I have much admiration for many of my fellow bloggers such as ButchCountry67, and A Boy and Her Dog’s Jamie Ray, as well as from many others other than the ones mentioned above. I tend to follow most of my favorite bloggers on a daily basis, because for me reading and writing is a daily activity, it’s not a hobby or a sport, but more something I have to do daily or my day just doesn’t feel complete.

General Blips

Writing, Boundaries, and Life

Greetings readers!  I am up in the middle of the night again, seems to be my “time” of day to get things done.  I’ve been reading other blogs (some of them yours I am sure!) and contemplating different writing prompts.  I’ve been sort of “stuck” lately on what or how to write here.  I realized through a Daily Om post about fear that it’s some very basic fear that has my creativity squashed a bit.  I am fearful of writing and offending people, which just has never been like me.  But as I get to “know” more of my readers, I am sometimes inhibited by that as to what I am comfortable writing about.

One of the prompts I was reading was about boundaries.  As in what are my boundaries concerning writing about friends, family and people that I know?  And then what boundaries do I have in disclosing about myself?

To address the first, I always try to write about people anonymously.  I have given people nicknames, and have used other means of not disclosing their identities to protect their own personal privacy.  And when someone reads me and can see themselves in my writing, it’s not my intention to ever hurt.  I write about my own feelings, my own experiences, and my own opinions of what is going on.  Sometimes I write what I can’t quite seem to say at the exact time that I am engaging someone in conversation.  So later on, when I am in “writing mode” I may address an issue that I have with someone.  I have written about people who are very close to my heart, and about those I have been involved with on a more intimate level at times, I have learned that this is not such a great idea though, and that even with anonymity that people will get upset with me on occasion.  Then sometimes I am very much writing with certain people in mind, and they usually get the message if they are smart enough to recognize themselves.

When writing about myself I am pretty much an open book.  I do try to be as truthful and honest about myself and my world as I possibly can be.  I am not ashamed of who I am one iota.  I never try to tone down my Butchness, as it’s all part of the real me, and I can’t understand why anyone would try to be anything less than real.  I don’t buy into many of the societal norms; the classist bullshit that goes on in the world.  I take people at face value 99% of the time.  So on a scale of 1 to 10 as to how much of my personal life I reveal in my blogs I would say it’s about a 7….I do keep my very most personal stuff to myself, or to my written non-published journals, or to private conversations with those closest to me.  I am pretty open about who I am, although I write under the “MainelyButch” moniker most of you know my name and some are even Facebook friends, family or other close friends.  I am not sure when I publish my book what I will use as a pen name.  I am rather fond of the MainelyButch persona and it’s fairly (after 10 years of using it across the web) well known now. It started when I founded using the name on my Youtube channel (which is in BAD need of updating and new videos!) and progressed to WordPress and blogging.

My blog reflects what is going on in my life at the moment most of the time.  I write almost daily, and sometimes it’s just about boring daily life in Maine, or the boring life of a Butch in rural America.  I think that blogging is a great way to get to know people; and I have gotten to know a few of you from your blogs, or from meeting you because of my blog.  I enjoy my conversations with fellow bloggers, reading of your daily lives, seeing photos of where you are in life, or of what interests you.  I try to keep up as much as possible with my favorite bloggers, and I know a few of you keep up with my daily posts — thanks so very much, by the way!  Blogging / writing is a real stress buster for me and is something that I am very passionate about in my life.  I will never give it up.

I used to be much better with my photography than I have been as of late.  I am in desire of a new camera, and have beaten the older ones up quite a bit.  I am rough on equipment sometimes, like yesterday I dropped my main handheld camera (Kodak 710) and bent the lens casing…but it still works, and the lens still functions fully, so it’s not completely destroyed, and I do have other even better cameras to be truthful, that’s just my favorite “go-to” unit to use.  I plan to do a lot more photography this coming Spring, and will be updating my photos on a much more regular basis.  Perhaps I will managed to get a new camera even…I’m not sure if it’s really in the budget, and because I do own a few of them now I kind of feel guilty about even wanting another one…although my technology in photography is about 2 years behind now.  Still these cameras are working fine, and produce excellent shots for things like my blog and my online shop.

Winter continues to drag on here in southern Maine….more snow is expected today.  It seems that we don’t even count it now unless it’s over 6″ of accumulation, anything less is just a “dusting” as we say.  We got about three inches night before last and I still haven’t even touched the shovel to clean it up.  My poor little snowblower was rendered useless this year by the un-Godly amount of snow that fell from January 31st to now….it’s meant to handle maybe 4″ to 6″ of lighter snow, and could in no way touch the 16″ and 20″ storms that we had at the beginning of February.  This winter has been one for the record books for sure, being the coldest since 1940-41 and we are just about to hit a record for snowfall as well.  It’s been hard on everyone with trying to manage it, navigate in it and live inside because of it.  Cabin fever, road rage and general mayhem are at an all time high here!  I saw a photo from the Portland, Maine police department the other day of a station wagon with a freaking snowmobile stuffed into the back of it, whole front end and skis hanging out the back….only in Maine…

Until next time… ~MB

General Blips

Writing Challenges, My Adventurous Day

IMAG0385I follow most of WordPress’s blogs and one that I particularly like is the Daily Post, which often gives great topic and writing suggestions, you’ve seen me previously address some of their topics. Today’s is to write about anything, and then end it with “and all was right in the world.”  Again, a pretty interesting and intriguing challenge!  Gotta love it.

Now I also follow Dancing with Fireflies, a wordpress blog “where creative writers network and show off their talent” as their tag line says.  They often have the BEST of the BEST writing prompts!  Today’s prompt is to write a resignation letter to something/someone you want to “quit”.  It’s best explained in the link, where you can read all about the challenge.  I thought this is a super idea!  Just think of being able to anonymously write an “I quit” letter to that nasty boss of yours, or quitting something that you really dislike doing.  It’s like writing a Dear John letter to just about anything.  I love this one…and for those of you who are also writers, I challenge YOU as well!

So these will be the two things that I will be working on for the time being.  If you know of any more inspirational blogs that you think that I would like please drop me a comment about it!  I’m always looking for something new to spark my interest.  i need a good muse 😉

I spent the day today driving up the coast of Maine and stopping at about every antique store along the way.  My buddy from the neighborhood tagged along with me and we had a splendid time crawling through some dusty old places full of dusty old stuff.  It’s just something that I love to do.  We picked up a few little trinkets and treasures…I’ve been into collecting little fish statues, mostly the colorful saltwater fish like these in the picture below.  003I am not sure what started the fish collecting thing, but I have been noticing them much more lately and the four little ones in the front are what I picked up at Arundel Antique Village…a massive collection of awesome junk!  I have a few friends who are also pickers — the slang name for people like me who pick treasures and resell them for profit usually, and for pleasure always!

This is a United States Census badge from 1900 that I happened upon in a tray of junk at one of the stores, I thought it was quite interesting and just had to have it.  I have a penchant for badges and the like.  Especially if they are official ones.  This one will most likely be resold through one of my venues.  I have a booth at an antique shop on Route 1 in York, Maine and I sell quite a bit from there when the tourists are all in town especially in the summer months.

006And for fun and because i found it, I got this little truck with the Captain Morgan’s Rum, I now have it sitting in the front of my liquor supply cabinet, proudly on display.  It’s dorky I know, but hey, it’s Butch Cave decor!  I laugh, but it’s funny to look around my place and not know that it’s inhabited by someone with very eclectic taste.  011

Nola had a great day riding around with us.  She is so well trained all I have to say is “back seat” and she hops right back there no problem, no complaints.  Once she is back there she will begin to “leak”…which is what I call it when she starts those soft little whines that are barely audible and increasingly become a little louder until I have to correct her with the statement that I am going to ship her to Siam or something equally dog-scary.  It’s a constant battle because while she is just fine in the big back seat of my SUV she would rather be sitting in my lap as I drive or be sitting on the passenger side (if I am alone) or sitting on the passenger’s lap.  She’s a royal pain in the ass sometimes to drive around with, but it’s part of owning the cutest Chiweenie dog of all time, I have to take her everywhere with me, or she will sit home sad and lonely…and we don’t want THAT!  (*snicker, snicker*)

Once I got home around 4:30 or so I was pretty tired.  but I’ve rallied and found the energy and desire to write!  After a long long day of thinking about things and pondering the possibilities, I decided that writing would be a great exercise and a nice relaxing thing to do tonight.  So I heated up left-over chicken cacciatore, rice and sat down to another great home cooked meal, and my buddy and I had great dinner and conversation.  She’s a writer too, so it’s cool taht we can swap ideas and give each other feed back, although her blog is on another platform and I don’t get over there enough to read her stuff.

Oh!  And I found a phone app for WordPress today too!  So you can write and post on the fly, so to speak!  I did download it, but I won’t use it for much because half of my writing relaxation is sitting in front of my computer and looking at the big screen as I type like a banshee!  But it’s always nice to have, and it’s got the reader on it as well, so I can read blogs on my phone when I’m waiting in the car or stuck somewhere with time to kill.

So that’s all folks…remember, check out the challenge at Dancing with Fireflies (hot link for ya!) and let’s see what you can resign from doing today!  I think it will be a fun exercise.  Euphemism could even play a key part if you are creative that way!  🙂  Rock on….and Peace!!!!  ~MB

General Blips

Writing / Blog 2015 Updating

Oh what shall I blog about this week?  I was cleaning my desk in my office and found several notes about topics and the such for blogging or vlogging.  I keep several note books, each with various things from cool and interesting sayings that I stumble across, to websites that interest me, to lists of topics for blogs…there is an abounding list, I just have to be in the right mood to do the work to do a decent blog.  Writing about daily stuff just gets boring to me and I am not so sure it’s really what I want this blog to be about.  I don’t mind an occasional life update type of blog, but I’m sure that readers would rather be provoked into thought by something other than my mundane descriptions of the weather in Maine.

I am considering opening a new blog…or renaming this one.  I’m going with the name “Private Label” and I am going to revamp the blog and it’s contents to some extent.  I think I have too many Catagories as it is now, and I should pare down to more generalized catagories such as “Daily Life”  “Butch Life” “LGBT Interests”….what do you as a reader think of this?  Do you think that my blog is messy?  Does the platform look decent or should I attempt to add more multimedia for 2015?  I mean pictures and videos and maybe do more poetry and creative stuff than I have done.  I’ve kept this blog pretty reserved, some would say that I can sometimes be “inappropriate” in my speech, well I have a mind that goes along with that inappropriate speech as well, a very Butch and somewhat twisted mind…yeah I think about sex a lot..I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, and it comes up in the photos that I sometimes choose to post here and elsewhere.  And we all know that a picture is worth a thousand words, so wow, I am really inappropriate I guess!  Hahaha, I am laughing at myself here.

I talk to you here in this blog like I would probably talk to you in conversation were we having one.  I like a natural flow to follow when I read, thus I try to write the way I would talk, so that it flows more easily and is a smoother read.  I’ve tried other more formal styles of writing, but this is the one that suits my personality best…I tend to fly by the seat of my pants, so to speak, quite often, and thus I write in a similar style…a conversational style I guess you would call it.  I’m sure there is some fancy, schmancy word for the style, but I’m not aware of it at the moment.

Writing in my blog is something that I started doing around 2006.  In the old days of AOL I had quite a written blog online.  In cleaning part of my office last month I happened across a full printed copy of those old blogs.  I recall printing them out because I was killing my AOL account.  Hell, I think I may still have an AOL presence, but I have NO idea how to access the account anymore..what email I used to use back then or what the password might remotely be!  If I did I would remove any trace of myself on there.  But back in the day, yeah the day…heh heh…AOL was the platform that everyone used, kind of like Facebook is today.  Although I think that we were all so inexperienced in web communications back then that we all managed at some point or another to screw up…I know I did.  I met a super woman via AOL and fell in love.  That wasn’t what I had intended to do at all, since I was also in a very long term relationship at the time.  Unfortunately it ended my LTR and while I was with the other woman for a while, I didn’t stay with her out of guilt and confusion mostly. She herself was an extraordinary writer, published a few books of her poetry and prose, and that’s how we connected, through our mutual love of writing and of the Butch-Femme dynamic as well.  She was my ideal idea of Femme.  Beautiful, poised and just delightful in all aspects.

One of the things that those old platforms did offer that I miss is music.  I liked that you could go to someone’s page and hear their musical choices.  Facebook doesn’t do that, and hell it’s a whole different platform, but I wish you could set some kind of background music. And I’d love to know what other people are listening to these days. I am a hard-core country rock fan. I like Jason Aldean, Clay Walker, Big & Rich, Keith Urban, Reba, LeeAnn Womack, and a slew of other country rock artists…then I also go for bands like Parmalee, Rixton, Plain White T’s, Little Big Town, One Republic, One Direction….and the list goes on.  I love music and I make sure that every month I add 10 new songs to my iTouch.

I wish there were a way to build a blog page that had a music player on it…I bet there is and Butchcountry67 is going to tell me just how to do it!  🙂  I’m sure there’s some blogging platform or some app you can add to a WordPress blog that would add music.  Hmm..I shall be researching this now as I go through revamping my page.  I may register my name also and go to having a main web page instead of going via WordPress.  That may give me more options like music and video.

So this is what I will be working towards on this blog.  Follow along and please, please give me some feedback and guidance as you see fit!  I am fully open to creative criticism, and to topics, if you have a specific topic or idea for me please let me know either in the comments or by emailing Mainely Butch.  I’d love to get some conversational blogging going on too, or some collaborative project with other bloggers if anyone has any good ideas on that I’d appreciate hearing them!

Peace!  ~MB

Butch Stuff, Gender Identity, Lesbian, LGBT Community Issues, Sexuality, Trans Identity, Transgender

Inspirational Butch Authors: My Heroes

I’ve been doing a lot of great reading today and tonight specifically around Butch-Femme lifestyle and dynamics.  I read one article about Butch “peacocking” and that got me thinking, and it lead me to other links to other writings by some awesome other Butch writers.  Yeah, we seem to always be the “others” even in our own community.  Or as one blogger (Butch Jaxon) put it so eloquently, the “other-than’s”.  It’s amazing that I can still read and get so much out of reading anything good about the journey’s of my Butch counterparts.  It always comes to the “I can relate” thus it makes the reading/writing particularly interesting to me.  Personally I choose to write much about my experiences as a Butch so that others out there will know that they are NOT alone, there are many of us; we are legion.  We just have to find better, safer and more accepting places to bond.  Butch bonding is a real experience, and one that every Butch, young and old, needs in their lives.

Recently we lost Leslie Feinberg.  I wrote a short piece about them soon after their passing.  Still, I think about how much Leslie contributed to the Butch / Trans community over the years of their life.  That one book, Stone Butch Blues, had such a wide and deep impact on so very many of us.  Every good Butch has read it, has seen themselves in the pages, in Jesse and in Leslie’s experience.  Every one of us is a good Butch!  If you are Butch, or Trans*, or LGBT you should read this book if you have not already done so at least twice in your life.  It is a piece of literature that changed or at least enhanced and recognized a rather large, unknown number of lives; that made us unafraid, that gave us the power and confidence to be Butch without shame.  If you are Butch and you don’t “see” yourself in the pages of Stone Butch Blues it would be astonishing because just about every Butch I know holds this book out as the virtual “Bible” of Butch.

Here is what Sinclair Sexsmith, author, activist and self-identified Butch, said in one of her recent posts entitled “Long Live the Butch:  Leslie Feinberg and the Trans Day of Remembrance“:

“For me, Leslie’s book Stone Butch Blues invented butch identity. If I had the word before the book, it was only as a slur, only as something nobody should want to be. If I had the word before Jess’s story and her tortured restraint of passionate love, it was only used to describe ugly women, unattractive and unwanted. It wasn’t until I read Stone Butch Blues that I realized it described me.”  Nov. 20, 2014

This book, followed by S. Bear Bergman’s “Butch is a Noun” and Ivan E. Coyote’s “One in Every Crowd” all combined, personally gave me eye-opening and deep inspiration to always be my authentic self, to be comfortable and happy with my own Butch identity, and to share my own experiences in my writing and vlogging.  The three of them, Leslie, Bear, and Ivan have had huge influence on my own writing and I am honored to have had the chance to have met Leslie personally once at a conference.  Bear and Ivan, I still wish to meet and hear them speak in person one day in the near future.

All three are well known, and held in highest regard in the Butch community.  What I would give to be so gifted as to be able to write like they do, and be published as they all have been.  …sigh…  Ah, to dream that big!

So, my last post was about inspiring blogs here on WordPress.com.  That is what got me into reading tonight, and into thinking about my inspirations outside of WP, thus the evolution of this post you are reading.  It is the courage, bravery, and authenticity with which each of them write that so inspires me to strive to be as good a writer as I possibly can be myself, and to more comfortably be my authentic self.  I would like to see more books by both Bear and Ivan, and whenever one comes out I will be right there in line waiting on my own hard copy, believe me.  And I do follow them all on line at their various sites and venues, where both often blog about the current events and their own life happenings.

So, there you have it.  MainelyButch’s inspirational heroes of 2014.  One day I hope to have a book on my shelf written by me, and sitting right next to any one of the above authors’ books.  Dream big.  Rock on.   ~MB~

LGBT Community Issues

Very Inspiring Blogger Award


I would like to Thank Butchcountry67 for nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, I am very honored by this nomination!  I’ve been blogging on WordPress.com since 2009 and have been a regular WP blog reader for even longer.  I am inspired by many phenomenal writers, by the passion and the grace with which they light up my computer screen and stimulate my thoughts.

I am inspired by many other writers, some bloggers and some published in print, but here I will personally nominate 7 of my most often read online blogs with hot links to each for your convenience.  I hope that you will check them out, let them know what you think, follow those that also interest you and help us to promote our online blogging community, good will, excellent writing, and most of all…freedom of speech and expression.

As a Butch identified lesbian blogger, I am partial to my other LGBT friends and cohorts who blog on WordPress and other sites, as my nomination list here reflects.  I want to say to each of them here that “you inspire me daily, thank you.”  Without the readership and support that I receive here on my writing I would not continue to post online.  It’s become an important part of my life, and is my personal passion.   Again, Thank You ButchCountry 67, and Thank YOU my readers!   ~Peace~    ~MB~


The rules of this award are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.
Display the award on your post.

2. List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.

3. State 7 random things about yourself.

4. Nominate other bloggers for the award.

5. Contact your nominees to let them know you have nominated them. Provide a link to your post.

6. Proudly display the award logo (or buttons) on your blog, whether on your side bar, ABOUT page, or a special page for awards.

Soooo…7 Random Things About Me:

1.  I am a Butch identified lesbian living in southern coastal Maine, and most often write from that perspective.

2.  Books that have inspired me are: Grapes of Wrath, Butch is a Noun, Tuesdays with Morrie, and Five People You Meet in Heaven.  I love to read.  These books are about life stuff, but for recreational reading I like The Vampire Chronicles and Rita Mae Brown’s work in Ruby Fruit Jungle, just to name a couple.  I prefer books that can be related to real life and I do not care much for any kind of science fiction stuff – books or movies.  I love print books; books I can hold in my hands and feel the crisp pages under my touch.  I pray they are not lost in the technology affray.

3.   I did not “come out” to my family and straight friends until I was over 24 years old.  By that time most of them had “figured it out” but some still needed to hear me say it to make it real for them.  I lost very few friends, and the ones who I lost obviously were not really true friends to begin with in my opinion.

4.  I served 6 years in the US Army from 1980-86 as a 63Bravo…Light Wheeled Vehicle Mechanic.  I enjoyed my service in the military, and it was a big contributor to forming me as a young adult.  When I was in the Army it was NOT okay to be LGBT and I had to hide my identity and sexuality in order to stay enlisted.  I sadly saw many friends booted out because of their sexual preference.

5.  I am a Capricorn, and one stubborn old goat!  I’ve been told that I am a very typical Cappy… I am assertive, set in my ways, determined and strong willed/minded.  I tend to be more of a leader than a follower.  And I can be bossy given the leeway to be as such.

6.  I have lived in several places in my life but I always seem to return to Maine, where my roots are deep because I am 15th generation of the oldest family in Maine.  My family came here and settled the oldest town in Maine, where I was privileged enough to grow up, Kittery, founded in 1642 by the Shapleigh family and named for their estate in England.

7.  I am too am old enough to remember the original Hippies, Bell Bottoms & Hip huggers, Club kids and Disco, when cars were made of solid steel and we all had Cherry Bomb mufflers so you could hear us coming a mile away.  I also remember when you could buy penny candy for a penny.  And when you could not say one-tenth of the words that are now allowed on public, prime time television stations, and when you didn’t see ANY gay or lesbian performers who were “out” in real life.

Now for the fun part! I am nominating these 7 blogs for being so inspiring to me.


Roxi St. Clair


Queering the Nerd

Butch Wonders

Butch-Femme Photo Project

I hope that you have enjoyed this post and that you will visit some or all of the above listed great blogs!


Butch Stuff, General Blips

LGBT Books in My Collection…

There’s an entire world of publishing dedicated to LGBT issues, many, many authors, books and resources. I was giving a list of books to someone special and it made me think about lesbian publishing and books that many of us read. Of course there are copious lists of hundreds of books by Cleis Press, Columbia, Random House, Vintage, Harrington, and Seal…just to name a few publishing houses…as well as many released privately and now with self publishing you can read even more authors. I will talk about a few of my personal favorites here.

Every lesbian I have known has always either read or had a copy of Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. It was the epitomy of the Butch lesbian cultural writing for many years. Then along came more recently written works like Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman, and One in Every Crowd, Persistence, and Missed Her by Ivan E. Coyote just to name a couple of my favorite authors. Ivan’s latest with Rae Spoon as co-author is Gender Failure…a very striking compilation of Butch to Trans writings. Ivan walks that line so thinly and I can really relate to their writings. I know my own personal reading selection is skewed by the fact that I am Butch, so I am more apt to read Butch centric writings and musings, as well as write from that same angle myself.

There are all of the erotica books. Some compiled and edited by Tristan Toarmino – which are generally my favorites. I like Tristan’s choice of stories in her compilations such as “Take Me There” Ooolala hottt trans and genderqueer erotica for sure. The Harder She Comes by DL King is a great compilation of Butch/Femme erotica and equally as hot.

There are more informational books like Nobody Passes, by Mattilda or Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, as well as The Lives of Transgender People by Genny Beemyn and Susan Rankin. And I could list a dozen others on the topics of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender studies.

Personally I love to read. I read online, I read printed books, I read magazines, and newspapers. Anything I can get my hands on that interests me I will read. I think my love of reading (and writing) comes from childhood and being taught to love books by my mother, grandmother and various teachers and mentors throughout my upbringing. I’ve always treasured the printed book. While I have pared down my own collection of hard copy books over the last few years, generally related to having to move them when I would move, I have kept and maintain quite a nice collection of LGBT literature and I often will recommend or loan out books of this type.

When I first came stronger into my Butch identity I read as many of these books as I could consume. I would take what made sense to me and leave the rest. It was enpowering to read about strong Butch women like myself; women who felt like me and looked like me. It was also reassuring to know there are women who love women like me…that worried me for a while at first. I had heard the old “…why not date a guy..?” statement one too many times when people would refer to Butch identified people like myself. So of course as I was truly coming into who I am it concerned me that it may be more difficult to find a partner who enjoys female masculinity as I represent it. I now know this was a pretty dumb thought, but hey, it did occur to me that I may remain single forever.

It’s not always easy to be Butch in this world. And growing up Butch wasn’t easy either, there were few books or role models when I was growing up in the 70’s…the early 80’s when I hit adulthood and discovered sex, the only reading you had were Forum magazine and various porn that was lesbian friendly. I laugh at how much of that trash we would read back then. Being Butch in today’s world is a little easier but still difficult. It’s sometimes a daily thing to be given weird looks when I am in public places, to get those looks of wonder – where they are wondering my gender identity.

It can be uncomfortable at times, but I have also found that the more relaxed I am and the more confident I am with people that the more comfortable I can make them, thus the more relaxed I am in general. I understand that my presentation probably fascinates some people, and they just can’t help themselves in giving me that look…either way, I am comfortable with myself, thus all is good in my world. I just am who I am and as long as my comfort level is secure in my own being Butch then those around me appear to be much more accepting.

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the US and I am off to eat turkey dinner with my family. I hope everyone has a great day! Looking forward to watching parades on TV, football, Mimosas and great food, fun, and people! ~Peace~ MB