Early Morning Rantings!

Once again I am awakened at 2am, just am not meant to sleep like a normal person should right now.  I wake up and I am just…up…no going back to sleep in the immediate future.

I had a really great conversation with a great woman that I have been talking to lately.  It wasn’t an easy chat at all, but it was good for both of us I believe.  I confided in her a good bit about my addiction history, and she didn’t go running away like a scared cat. Addiction is not an easy topic to navigate and I admire her for her inquisitiveness on the topic, as it is a big part of who I am and why I am.  I look forward to more conversations with her, about everything.  She is someone I very much want to keep in my life.  🙂

Today was a bit hectic, but seriously productive. I worked til 1pm and then got together with my best friend and went to do our Friday afternoon errands around town.  Every Friday we have a ritual of doing this.  It’s called living paycheck to paycheck.  We get paid, go out and pay our bills, do the shopping for our respective households and take care of whatever else needs doing in town.  It is a struggle sometimes, but I make it work somehow.  And I realize that there are millions of others who are making it work this way as well.  It’s not easy in today’s economy or job market to do it any other way – especially if you don’t have a college education to fall back on, which I don’t.  Sometimes it feels likeI am always trying to play catch up on things, but hey, that’s just how it is.  I do alright.

I visited Trader Joe’s grocery this afternoon, I love that place!  I actually requested an employment application when I was checking out, and the woman who checked me out told me it was a super great place to work.  Everyone in there seems pretty pleasant and happy to be there, so they must enjoy the job.  I love the diversity of people in the place, from old hippies, to housewives, to young dykes, it’s just a palate of different people. They must have a really good company equality policy.  I am going to research the company a bit just to be sure that I would be a good fit there.

I also visited Staples office supply store on my excursion about town.  I needed a ream of copy paper.  They had a really good deal on some excellent quality paper that I had to take advantage of!  That is another place I could picture myself working.  Although a bit more “stuffy” than Trader Joe’s eclectic atmosphere, it would be fun.  I was in the corporate business world for many years and used to frequent the place quite a bit for supplies for my company.  I imagine working with people who were doing the same thing would be right up my alley in skill sets. And being the techno nerd that I am, I can imagine I would probably reinvest in the company and that might not be a good idea!  I’d be buying stuff like crazy.

Meanwhile, in Trumpy-land the Twitterverse is running wild with Trumpy stuff.  This Russian connection thing is really getting out of hand, Jeff Sessions needs to resign and a full investigation needs to ensue.  It just has to happen to put this subject into some sort of understandable terms. I was Tweeting with a friend in Texas who is petrified right now.  Being our age and queer isn’t going to be an easy path under Trump as he keeps going along with ripping away our rights and equalities.  It’s also just plain scary as an American, not withstanding being a part of the LGBTQ community!   Everyone seems to feel the impending doom of being attacked in some way by all of the executive orders and wild things that Trump and his team are doing or proposing to do.  I know I’m fucking scared.

Living in Maine has some pretty unique advantages.  Where I live especially because geographically it’s a great spot.  Right between Boston Mass, and Portland Maine.  I can be at the beach in 5 minutes, in the White Mountains in less than an hour and to either of the two cities in about 45 minutes.  Geographically it’s fucking perfection.  Maine also has a good equality rating. I just read an article in the Bangor Daily News about Maine being at the top when it comes to gender equality.  We also have good protections for the LGBTQ citizens here too.  I am glad that I live in this type of state.  From personal experience I can say that there IS really good gender equality.  Maine women are a fierce and tough lot.  Especially those from “down” Maine, which is actually upstate Maine…it’s a Maine thing…those women are hardened by the lifestyle of living in a very rural state, where you have to be fairly tough to survive.  I live in the more populated area, it’s a bit easier to navigate life here, but my cousins are down Mainers’ and they are not to be messed with.  The women are equal to the men up there in so many ways, they do equal work and expect equal pay. And truth be known, I believe they run the whole fucking show!  I have a healthy respect for my down Maine women cousins. They take no prisoners.

I hope your weekend is a great one!  Signing off from southern Maine….Peace!  ~MB


MainelyButch Goes to Work…

So I have rejoined the workforce of America.  Yeah, I got a fucking job.  It’s about time huh?  I know I’ve been not working for too long when I am even bored with being bored!   Anyway, started working, got through the training and started on the front end counter today.  It’s nice to be around so many people; to see people I know from around town who come in and to meet so many new people as well.  And the crew that I am working with seems to be a pretty good bunch too.  I know most of them a little bit from my own frequenting of the store prior to getting a job there.  That’s basically how I got the job, I would go in there at lest once every day or two for something and I kept seeing the “help wanted” sign so finally I asked one of the guys I knew who already worked there and he took me and introduced me to the manager, who granted me an interview and offered me a job.  I love how connections and networking can lead from one thing to another, and you never really know where you’ll end up sometimes.

So, I like the job, it’s actually quite entertaining in some aspects.  I love interacting with people and believe me at a large convenience store/truck stop you find all different kinds of people frequent it.  I love to people watch (thumbs up to my Vancouver friend who also loves to people watch, it makes me think of you!) and there’s plenty of it to do at this place.

Today after work I stopped at Old Navy and bought a new pair of pants – pants now, not jeans – for work. I had to get some tan khaki pants.  The uniform at my new job is the company’s signature red polo shirt with the company logo on it and issued to you when you are hired, and either black or tan pants/jeans.  If they are jeans they have to be pitch black and not faded or ripped up.  I happened to own a nice pair or black Levi’s already which I have been wearing and washing every night to wear again the next day.  Now that I have another pair I can alternate and get away with doing laundry every couple of days.  They gave me 3 polo shirts, so once I pick up another pair of pants next pay day I can stretch the laundry out to twice a week.  Logical thinking huh?  *smirk*   Anyhooo…the pants are quite comfortable as I got the Broken-in Straights type so they’re not all stiff and stupid looking.  I’m so used to wearing blue jeans that this is all quite a change for me.

Nola and Lulu have settled in pretty much already to me being gone all morning.  I’m working the 7am to 1pm shift, only 6 hours a day, Monday through Fridays.  It’s a great shift, busy enough to keep me happy and the perfect hours for me to have the rest of each day to do other stuff, make appointments as needed and take care of other business.  Plus I have the weekends off – which is always a bonus!   I suspect that the dogs just sleep all morning but I leave the TV on for them just in-case they want to watch GMA (Good Morning America) hahaha.  I do miss that morning show, but I been getting up at 5am to catch the morning news and have a couple of cups of good coffee before I shower and head out the door for my shift.  When I get home they come bounding off of the couch to greet me at the door, all wiggly-giggly at my feet.  They are definitely happy to see me.

So that’s been my last few days, just getting used to this new endeavor of working once again; settling into a new schedule and enjoying it.

It’s been some fucking cold – and I mean it, FUCKING COLD – here in the Northeast lately.  Today the wind howled like holy hell, whipping the snow into a frenzy of dust storm proportion. It’s drifted the snow everywhere, especially into my previously shoveled driveway and walking path to the house.  I am hoping that the wind and temperatures will be better in the next 2 days so I can get it cleaned up once again before the storm rolls in this weekend…yes, we are predicted for a good sized storm this coming weekend.  I suppose that it was bound to happen, winter was bound to catch up to us. We’ve been extremely fortunate up til now with not much snow and actually very mild temps.  It  was just a matter of time before the real winter weather kicked in.  I am figuring that we’ll probably get beat on from here on out til late April…unless we get some kind of lucky!

I’m off to catch up on some reading here on WordPress, I see some of you have posted since I was last able to sit down and really do some good reading and I want to try to catch up tonight.  I hate falling behind on my blog reading and my news reading.  I always enjoy reading all of your blogs and am trying to keep myself up with comments and responses like I said that I would.






Work, Life and a Stuffie Slut…bwhahaha!

Work was tough on me the first day on the floor…I am definitely not in the shape I was before my recent surgery, and subsequently all the laying around and being lazy that came after it.  I have got to build up my muscle structure once again, and yesterday unloading freight, lifting and carrying some heavy stuff reminded me that muscles need to be worked regularly!  I woke up this morning pretty sore in my lower back, glutes, legs and biceps.  I will adjust, and I will grow stronger with the regular exercise just from this job, I am sure.  When I left the HD job I was in pretty darned good shape from all the work-ercise I got there!

I want one of those Fit-Bit things.  I must have walked a couple of miles yesterday in combination with the lifting of a boatload of freight we put out on the floor…tools and hardware are heavy items, albeit more compact and easier to deal with than loose lumber like I was moving around at the previous job.  I can see that I am also going to need a back belt to support my lower back and the damaged disks that I have there.  So this morning I had to load up on some pain medication and Excedrin migraine…but I’m all good now.  🙂

I had the funniest conversation this morning.  It was about Nola and her affection for her “stuffies” (stuffed animals).  It’s funny how we can twist up things sometimes and make them hilarious.  I was relating Nola as being a “stuffie slut”..where she has so many of them and seems to love each one.  She has a harem of stuffies!  She’s got a whole big basket full of the things, everything from stuffed bunnies, to a stuffed black and white cat – which is one of her favorites as it resembles my mother’s cat, Silly.  yes her cat is called “Silly” which is short for Sylvester.  Anyway, I was cracking up at this conversation and it made my morning that much brighter.

"Stuffie Slut" Nola!
“Stuffie Slut” Nola!

Today Nola shall get another bath.  She’s seems to be itchy lately, so I am thinking the change in weather may be affecting her skin. Although I also did change her back to her Beneful dog food recently…she had been on a more expensive veterinarian recommended food for a good long while…hmmm…maybe it’s the combination.  Whatever it is I need to bathe her and hopefully help her feel less itchy before she develops a skin condition – which she hasn’t as of yet!  Nola pretends to not like the bath, but once she is in there she gives up and seems to actually enjoy it.  The part she enjoys most is the drying with the towel. She LOVES to be scrubbed with the towel, and gets all fluffy.  Her mother was a long haired Daschund (wiener dog) and her daddy was a Chihuahua….so Nola has a combination of short hair, layered over with longer hair.  It gets very fluffy when she’s had a bath, and looks unruly for a day or two after until it calms back down and smooths out.  She doesn’t like to be brushed – which confounds me!  I thought that EVERY dog liked to be brushed, but not the Nola.  She abhors it and tries to run from me when she sees the brush or the nail clippers appear.  Today she’s not only being bathes, but she’s being fully groomed, nails, teeth, eyes, brushing – and combing!  She’s going to gleam with cleanliness when she’s done…although may not be too pleased with me!  She gets over it, and loves me regardless.

It’s raining again..prediction is up to 5 inches of rain  (yes, ButchCountry67, I am stuck in the old world of inches, no metrics here, I don’t even GET how they work!)  And possibly a Nor’ Easter type of storm is coming our way.  I have stocked up on bottled and jugged water just in case we lose power.  Here if we lose power we also lose water pressure as it’s all run by pumps that are fed by electricity.  It’s one thing I hate about this place, the water situation….grrrrrr….don’t even want to think about it!

I’m working on Thursday and then have a 3 day weekend.  I am hoping to do a bunch more of the renovations in my bedroom.  I picked out a different flooring than I was originally going to put down, the one I chose now is called Tavern Oak, and it’s a little darker brown, but not a deep brown by any means.  I like it way better than my original choice.  I’m hoping like hell to get the carpet up this weekend at least, then prep the floor for the new flooring.  I’m also gutting the closet and putting in an all new closet system to maximize the space.  At one time I designed, sold and installed closet systems with my Dad and a company we owned called Closet Masters, so I have a wee bit of experience and can really do that closet some justice space wise.

Yeah, Dad and I had a few businesses that we dabbled in over the years, all having to do with home renovation and design.  We also did drinking water systems for a while, which is why the water here drives me nuts and why I have installed a treatment system in my own place instead of depending upon the community system.  I don’t trust the source supply at all.  Especially with my immune system issues, all I need is to get nailed by some foreign crap in the water.  The system I have installed takes care and makes it nice and clean.

I learned a lot from my father over the decades of working along side of him.  He taught me about all kinds of home improvement and renovation stuff.  Hell, I even put the skills to use building a beautiful horse barn once upon a time, from design to finished product I had my hands right on every aspect. Of course I hired some help to do the actual job,  but I worked right along with the crew daily until it was done.  Actually the day the world changed, 9/11/01, I was on the 2nd floor of that barn putting up beams for the roof…I remember we stopped work and didn’t do anything for the next few days on it, while we were all riveted to the television and 24 hour news coverage of the tragic attacks.

So today I am sort of a Butch of all trades.  I can do a little bit of everything in construction.  I know the meaning of hard work, and I know the meaning of pride in it.  I love building things.  I used to think of the swimming pools we would build as “footprints” in the earth that said “we were here” to us as proud builders.  I sort of fell into working with my father after I got out of the Army back in the mid-eighties.  While we didn’t always get along, we did make a helluva team in business.

What he didn’t teach me some of my other business mentors, like RJI did.  I basically got a street-cred college education in business, economics, and accounting from some of the best teachers ever.  I value what I learned even still today, it all helps me in my daily interactions with the world.  My construction experience for example really gives me some advantage in the new job I am at with the home improvement industry.  Plus I always make work fun.  I figure if it’s not some kind of fun, plus you aren’t proud of the work you do, then you may as well not be doing it.  I was and am always proud of the work I do. I may not be getting rich from it, but I am rich in knowledge that can keep me employed and pretty much happy. Plus, people will always need one of the many skills that I have to offer, so I don’t ever worry about being able to find a job when needed.

Ok, I am off to prepare for my day ahead.  Shower, dress and do a video or two before I need to leave the house to get some errands in the outside world done!  I do hope that YOU are having a great day too!!!!

MainelyButch and stuffie slut Nola….wishing you a terrific day!

Restlessness…oh, and Flowers!

I find myself sleepless tonight; restless and irritated from within for some reason.  Perhaps it’s my new schedule from just getting back to work 4 days a week.  My mind just seems full of things that are needing to be done, and I feel the list just growing.  Generally I can re-settle myself when I awake in the middle of the night, but tonight I just cannot seem to find that peace that precedes the passage into a nice slumber.  When I did sleep earlier, I dreamed of being lost and not having my cell phone and not understanding which direction to go in to get back to where I needed to be….I understand the meaning of the dream, and it’s true…I am pushing myself to get back to where I need to be; to find that inner peace again and to have love within arms reach.  Funny how dreams can do that kind of stuff with your sub-conscious thoughts.  

Being back in the working world is feeling really good.  My spirits are higher, and I look forward to getting out each morning, then getting home in the mid-afternoon hours.  I’m only working a 4 hour shift, but after so long being idle; without work, I am having an adjustment period.  The drives to and from work are the best part, I love seeing all of the Spring growth, the flowers blooming and trees budding. And it’s fun to pass all of the landmarks, the parks, various businesses, new businesses that I hadn’t noticed before, and just to be driving through the world with a destination.  

When I return home little Nola about turns herself inside out with complete and utter joy of seeing me.  It’s like I had been gone for a week after only 5 hours!  She wiggles and yips, with a mouthful of one of her stuffed toys, which she offers to whoever comes in the door as a sort of welcoming gift – although you cannot TOUCH the gift, you must just admire it and pet the dog!  Oh..and thank her for it of course!  She’s so sweet, and so devoted to me.  I just don’t know what I would ever do without the little bugger.  She brings such peace and joy to my heart.  And she epitomizes the very meaning of “unconditional love” for me.  

So I am sure I will settle into a routine here with work and my home projects and chores.  I just have to be patient with myself and the world, and let things ease into a regular pattern.  AT this point I rise at about 6:30am generally, and get Jared at 6:50am from his house two doors down.  He comes here in the mornings when his sisters go to school, we have breakfast, him cereal and me coffee.  Then we watch Clifford the Big Red Dog and Curious George morning shows on MPBN and NHPTV networks.  At 7:55am we put on our shoes, coats when needed, and head down to the bus stop at the back entrance to our neighborhood.  Nola LOVES to go with us, and is often the best alarm as to when it’s time to go.  She will begin to prance around and yap, like “hey, it’s time for a walk! The bus is coming soon!”  The three of us have a nice 5 minute walk to the bus stop and await the arrival of the big yellow school bus to whisk Jared off to his Kindergarten classroom.  Yes, it’s pretty regimented every morning Monday through Friday.  I then walk home with Nola and we have some more coffee, Nola eats her breakfast and I watch the morning news and weather while puttering around the house doing mundane – but necessary – house chores.  At 9am I shower and dress, pull my stuff together and kiss Nola good-bye as she glares at me from the back of the couch.  She doesn’t like that part – me leaving that is!  But she’s good and she seems to know that I am leaving and she can’t go along on those trips out.  Yes, we will settle into a routine, I am sure of it.

I am anxious to do more work on my yard and gardens.  Hopefully the Mantis tiller I dropped off to Evan at the machine shop will be repaired and ready for this weekend.  It would just be so much easier to use that than to kill myself doing it by hand!  I mounted 3 more railing boxes along the porch railings, in the best spots for mostly sun all day, this afternoon after work.  Now i just need to fill them with potting soil and get some pretty flowering plants to fill them with this weekend.  I also picked up 3 more large round pots today from Mom and may use those to plant some of the morning glories in, then set them in between the railing bays of the porch and train the plants to trail along the lattice work of the porch.  I love gardening.  I may not be an expert at it, but I give it one hell of a college try.  I read, research, study and think about every thing I am planing and doing out there.  Right now I am anxiously awaiting the sprouting of the grass seed that I planted 2 weeks ago during the drought.  It rained 4.79 inches on Monday…thus the ground is now very saturated and I am expecting with a little more sunshine and warm weather that the seed will germinate and if I carefully fertilize and care for it then I should have a nice lawn by later this summer.  The dirt I am working with to plant in is pretty gravelly and sandy, but I’m trying to make the best of it and have used a good Scott’s Starter Fertilizer already along with the seed.  Hell, the dandelions are coming in prolifically!  THOSE must GO.  I am going to pull alot of them with the weed puller – it’s important to get the whole long root on those or they just re-grow, and I am also going to get some weed killer for them.  I would like a nice lush carpet of GRASS, not just a green spot of various weeds!  

I also picked up a cute little old wooden wheel barrow that I am going to make into a planter for the front lawn.  It’s going to be very cute when finished!  Perhaps this weekend I will have the money for the plants for that as well.  Getting started with your gardens, lawns, and planters is the expensive part!  I try to pick a lot of perennial plants, so they will come up year after year and cut the cost in the future.  I’ve also got Nasturtium seeds and Morning Glory seeds germinating under wet paper towels in the house that will go into some of the planters I mentioned earlier.  Both will re-seed themselves to a large degree.