Butch…Trans…A Conversation

There will always be someone who disagrees, no matter what the topic is. And inside the LGBT…xyz community there are many voices, many cultures, tons of identities and buckets of genders. I recently cross posted an interesting article that was on Slate.com titled “Why I’m Still a Butch Lesbian” in a Facebook group that I am part of called “Gender Outlaws”… and wow, people came out of the freaking woodwork to comment and argue about this post. I only wish we could get the author herself to see the comments and respond to the conversation. I just might try to contact hym about it. At first I was a bit frightened by some of the responses and comments I was getting on the article. Now, the points of view are entirely .the author’s own, and while some may not find them to be very “PC” I do understand where she’s coming from in many ways. Not that I fully agree with her statements or opinions but I do understand some of the thinking involved in what she’s trying to say.

Some people found the article to contain transphobic bits, anti-women pieces, and generally it left people wanting to discuss the topic more. I felt that it was a great article to start a conversation with, which it certainly did! I tried to see where other people were coming from with their disdain for the article, and I can see how some were offended for sure. Especially after my exchange with one of the commenters, she got me to look more objectively at the issues with the post and why others felt the way they did.

Gender identity is – or seems to me to be – an ever evolving thing. As are the politics surrounding it. And we all have our implicit biases – snap judgements based on what we see, age, race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, culture and up-bringing. Yet most of us aren’t aware of our prejudices. That’s Implicit bias, for those wondering what the hell I am referring to. You can also call some of what we are experiencing as our own internalized homophobia. We were most all taught or told from a young age that there is only one of two ways you can be, either male or female, and that being anything but straight (heterosexual) and living a clean life will damn you to hell and fury. Those things cannot not affect, in some way, the way that we have each grown to think and be. And thus the way that we react to things that may stir up internal triggers for us. I believe this article by Lea stirred up a LOT of these triggers.

Love has no labels – in a perfect fucking world.

People can be whoever they wish to be – in a fucking perfect world.

But when you “say” who you are then you are going to open yourself up to outside opinion and most likely criticism of your designation and your words.

You are never the same as you were yesterday. Every day that goes by changes each of us in little ways, maybe even in huge ways – I call those days moments of definition (defining moments). I am not the same person I was at 20, 30, 40, or 50. I am a culmination of all that has happened to me; of all that I have experienced and all of those people that I have let into my life – whether I allowed them to stay or not.

Gender identity is a very personal thing. No one comes to their truth the same way as anyone else. I am a Butch lesbian. While I feel that I have always been a Butch lesbian I was not always true to my identity. I tried to be other things that I simply was not, for the sake of jobs, housing situations, loves, friends and family. Not until I realized that none of them mattered to my living my authentic life, was I completely comfortable being me – a Butch lesbian. I am 55 now, and I’m sure I am still evolving. I have different habits now, different views, different opinions and a very different body. I chose to have top surgery a couple of years ago, and it was personally the best thing I ever did for myself.

I caught shit for doing it. I heard things like “that means you want to be a Trans guy” and “you’re afraid to be a woman” and “you’re mutilating your body” and on and on. I heard it all. but you know what? I don’t fucking care what ANYONE else thinks, they didn’t have to live inside of my head, and my head is much better off without my breasts! AND it does NOT make me any less of a lesbian, any less of a Butch or any less of a woman. And no, I never had any illusions about those things before or after my surgery.

Lea makes one statement in her article about not sleeping with other Butches, she used some derogatory terms – saying she “isn’t a fag” which really pissed people off. Now, I don’t agree with her terminology, but I do understand, that as a Butch who prefers femme women, that she chooses not to engage romantically with other Butch lesbians. I have somewhat of that same preference, I just cannot connect the right way with another masculine identified person to where I would consider having sex with them. Female or male. Some see this as being somehow degrading to my Butch friends. I in no way am degrading anyone. The type of women I am attracted to romantically are just generally not Butch identified, period. I believe the author was just trying to say that same thing but she tried to make it sound a bit on the macho funny side, which didn’t go over well at all with the people who commented back to me.

I have always thought that there was a “fine line” between being Butch and identifying as Transgender. But…I am beginning to see that that line is much bolder than I had originally seen it as. Perhaps it’s “getting” bolder; perhaps it always has been and I just didn’t see it that way. I’m not entirely sure. I am thinking about this quite a bit now.

As most of you who read me regularly know, I consider Butch to be my gender. It is not lost on me however that I am female bodied and am a woman by definition. But I have never felt like a woman fully, nor have I ever felt like a man. I am just me, just plain Butch. Sort of with a foot in both arenas. I tend to lean very much toward my masculine side, and have very little femininity in me. This is just how I evolved. I’m not afraid of my femaleness, just really don’t know how to be any other way than just as I am. Nor do I even wish to try to be any other way!

I’ve written before about what I see as a sort of “trend” toward transitioning in younger lesbians especially. How is one to know what we would have done had we had that technology, knowledge and opportunity back “in the day” when we were going through our 20’s and coming to terms with who we were going to be in this life? We don’t. Maybe it’s not a trend, but we see it more frequently now because we can see it now! Where back in the 60’s-80’s when I was in those formative years I didn’t even know what the word “transgender” meant – or if it even WAS a word back then! Today’s youth have much more information and opportunity than any other decade before this. Of course this is going to make things different.

I am a very “live and let live” type of person. I don’t like to throw my judgements at others. I have many friends of all sorts, gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgender, non-binary, etc. I respect each person’s right to choose their own gender identity, their own sexuality, and their own lifestyle. I only ask that I receive that same respect in return.

I believe if the world were more tolerant, less judgmental and less phobic it would be a far better and easier place to exist in. But that’s not reality. This, what we are living today, is our reality. We have to make the best of it, we have to learn to be loving and to care about one another. Just because we are different kinds of people doesn’t mean that we cannot just be people together!

We need to have these tough conversations, listen – really LISTEN – to each other and have some compassion because every one of us is going through something in this life. Some journey’s are easier, some more difficult. Yet, in the end we all end up with baggage. It’s who you unpack it for that should matter the most to you. I want to know that I am unpacking for people who will love and respect me no matter who I used to be, and who love me for who I am today.

So, as you read the article please understand that she has been on a life journey as well. She’s had her share of good and bad. She has her own stuff to deal with that we know nothing about. We don’t have to agree with her, but we have to hear her and give her space to speak her own truth, in her own unique way. I hope that she will give that same consideration to those who don’t agree with her article, for they have their own reasons – I have my own reasons! And it’s ok, it’s ok to not always agree. That’s why it’s important to hear many voices, to really listen to each other and to learn that we can be very different – yet in the end we are all just human beings trying to survive this life.

I am positive that this is not the end of this conversation. Nor will it be the end of my writing on gender and being Butch. I invite you to read Lea’s article and tell me in the comments what your take away on it is. Were you offended? Were you intrigued? What do you think overall of her piece?

Peace! ~MainelyButch

PS. Here is a second article from Slate.com along the same subject lines. It was added as a comment to my post, as an alternative point perhaps? What do you think?

“I Didn’t Know I was Trans” by Evan Urquhart

PSS.  so I went to publish this post and low-n-behold some of the original Slate.com piece has been EDITED by them? Someone? Author?  I don’t know, but mysteriously some of it that was causing the bulk of the controversay seems to have disappeared.  I’m very confused.  So, this is based on the original version that I read…prior to this obvious edit…which pisses me off to no end.

Advertisements

Introducing a New Blogger…”Trigger Warning”

I have a buddy named Ryal, that has just recently started blogging on WordPress.  Here’s the link to his blog:  “Trigger Warning”  yes, the name of the blog is Trigger Warning, and I will add that there are some seriously blunt topics discussed.  He’s just gotten started and could use our input and interaction on his blogs!  Won’t you subscribe and add him to your Reader list?

It’s all about diversity and supporting one another in our journey’s through life, right?  I definitely think so!  🙂  Have a great day folks!

~MainelyButch

Response: MichFest and The Controversy…Who Qualifies as a Woman?

Ah, the infamous Michigan Women’s Music Festival is approaching (I believe it’s in August, don’t quote me)…and this the “war” of who “qualifies” to attend and who does not has begun…or actually just continues.  I am writing today in response to the posting by ButchFemmeListings concerning the controversy over attendee qualification.

First of all let me say right up front, I have never attended MichFest nor do I seriously think I ever will.  Simply because of the piddly in-fighting and what I believe is unnecessary arguments over “who qualifies as a woman”.  This has been going on for years from what I have seen, and my reading about it year after year and my reading the rants of feminazi’s about excluding Transwomen from the festival has left a sour taste in my mouth.   That and I don’t do extremely well in large crowds, especially when you combine tons of estrogen, alcohol and tempers, it just turns me off, so I elect not to attend this festival.

That being said, I would like to chime in with my two cents about this controversy of TW (Transwomen) and WBW (women born women) – the two camps of contention.  It seems that the WBW do not recognize TW as women thus they do not feel that the TW should be allowed inside of the exclusively women’s festival, which is billed as a safe space for ALL women. Yet, one camp of women seem to not recognize another camp of women as women…does that make any sense??

As ButchFemmeListings had to say:

After all we have read and heard on the topic, it seems to us it has been established that there are two camps, and we think it has also been established that neither side is going to see the others as the right path; each side has grown in a different LGBTQ/socio-political environment and time, and thus each side’s needs are DIFFERENT.

CAMP CHANGE: mostly under 40-ish folks who think Michfest should change, get up with the times and be for anyone who identifies as woman/womyn.

CAMP HONOR: mostly over 40-ish folks who think Michfest should respect the past and continue to be for womyn-born-womyn as it always has been.​

If we go by this scenario I should be on the side of “Camp Honor” at 53, but I am actually going to stick my neck out here gladly and say that “Camp Change” is the best idea.  And is spelling women with a y really necessary?  I mean it is a WOMEN’s music festival, I don’t think that they exclude straight women, nor is it exclusively LGBTQ (although that is the main focus, we all know).  It’s a big gathering of women and women’s bands/artists such as Melissa Etheridge and others who appear to entertain the crowd. Last year they had bands bow out over this big “controversy” about allowing or not allowing Transwomen to attend.  (Bravo!)

Some say let each group create it’s own event.  Separate us, yeah that’s the ticket.  Like we aren’t already a very fragmented LGBTQ society here in America.  I am definitely against the separation idea.  I actually believe they should open it up to all women – regardless of the “born with a vagina” or not.

I also have another question, I haven’t seen addressed in this particular blog..what about us who don’t pass easily as women, like me?  I am super Butch, have had top surgery and take low dose testosterone….does the “Camp Honor” still recognize ME as a woman?  I would think so, but I am leery of this already.  I am thinking that my masculine presentation may put some women out; make them uneasy that I am too masculine for their girls club.  (That might concern me more if I were to really want to GO to this thing).

I find festivals to be very clique driven to begin with.  You have people who will divide themselves by class and interests, you’ll have the singles looking to hook up for the weekend, the hard core partyers just there to see how fucked up they can get, and the other various little social cliques….I’ve never done well in the clique societies.  I am a loner, and while I make friends easily I am not interested in dealing with the bullshit I would have to watch and be exposed to if I were to go.

Here in Maine we have an LGBT camp out that focuses on outdoor adventure sports called Camp Camp.  It’s a well organized all inclusive camp where the focus is on outdoor sports and adventure.  It’s probably not as interesting as the full on party atmosphere of some of these other festivals such as MichFest.  I’d rather spend the extra money and go up to Camp Camp…IF I were really interested in going at all.

Around New England there are tons of these fesitvals from P-Town’s Women’s Week in May to Boston Pride and The Pool Party in August.  There is something for everyone, and MichFest should be also an event that should catch up with the times in my opinion and welcome all women identified individuals.  It’s time to stop the in-fighting about genitalia and gender, and start to accept people for who they are.  Not just at these fesitvals and parties, but throughout the LGBTQ community at large.

What do you think?  ~MB

Here is what MichFest’s leader has to say, I agree wholeheartedly with this.

http://www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=67561

Inspirational Butch Authors: My Heroes

I’ve been doing a lot of great reading today and tonight specifically around Butch-Femme lifestyle and dynamics.  I read one article about Butch “peacocking” and that got me thinking, and it lead me to other links to other writings by some awesome other Butch writers.  Yeah, we seem to always be the “others” even in our own community.  Or as one blogger (Butch Jaxon) put it so eloquently, the “other-than’s”.  It’s amazing that I can still read and get so much out of reading anything good about the journey’s of my Butch counterparts.  It always comes to the “I can relate” thus it makes the reading/writing particularly interesting to me.  Personally I choose to write much about my experiences as a Butch so that others out there will know that they are NOT alone, there are many of us; we are legion.  We just have to find better, safer and more accepting places to bond.  Butch bonding is a real experience, and one that every Butch, young and old, needs in their lives.

Recently we lost Leslie Feinberg.  I wrote a short piece about them soon after their passing.  Still, I think about how much Leslie contributed to the Butch / Trans community over the years of their life.  That one book, Stone Butch Blues, had such a wide and deep impact on so very many of us.  Every good Butch has read it, has seen themselves in the pages, in Jesse and in Leslie’s experience.  Every one of us is a good Butch!  If you are Butch, or Trans*, or LGBT you should read this book if you have not already done so at least twice in your life.  It is a piece of literature that changed or at least enhanced and recognized a rather large, unknown number of lives; that made us unafraid, that gave us the power and confidence to be Butch without shame.  If you are Butch and you don’t “see” yourself in the pages of Stone Butch Blues it would be astonishing because just about every Butch I know holds this book out as the virtual “Bible” of Butch.

Here is what Sinclair Sexsmith, author, activist and self-identified Butch, said in one of her recent posts entitled “Long Live the Butch:  Leslie Feinberg and the Trans Day of Remembrance“:

“For me, Leslie’s book Stone Butch Blues invented butch identity. If I had the word before the book, it was only as a slur, only as something nobody should want to be. If I had the word before Jess’s story and her tortured restraint of passionate love, it was only used to describe ugly women, unattractive and unwanted. It wasn’t until I read Stone Butch Blues that I realized it described me.”  Nov. 20, 2014

This book, followed by S. Bear Bergman’s “Butch is a Noun” and Ivan E. Coyote’s “One in Every Crowd” all combined, personally gave me eye-opening and deep inspiration to always be my authentic self, to be comfortable and happy with my own Butch identity, and to share my own experiences in my writing and vlogging.  The three of them, Leslie, Bear, and Ivan have had huge influence on my own writing and I am honored to have had the chance to have met Leslie personally once at a conference.  Bear and Ivan, I still wish to meet and hear them speak in person one day in the near future.

All three are well known, and held in highest regard in the Butch community.  What I would give to be so gifted as to be able to write like they do, and be published as they all have been.  …sigh…  Ah, to dream that big!

So, my last post was about inspiring blogs here on WordPress.com.  That is what got me into reading tonight, and into thinking about my inspirations outside of WP, thus the evolution of this post you are reading.  It is the courage, bravery, and authenticity with which each of them write that so inspires me to strive to be as good a writer as I possibly can be myself, and to more comfortably be my authentic self.  I would like to see more books by both Bear and Ivan, and whenever one comes out I will be right there in line waiting on my own hard copy, believe me.  And I do follow them all on line at their various sites and venues, where both often blog about the current events and their own life happenings.

So, there you have it.  MainelyButch’s inspirational heroes of 2014.  One day I hope to have a book on my shelf written by me, and sitting right next to any one of the above authors’ books.  Dream big.  Rock on.   ~MB~

Leslie Feinberg: Ivan’s Tribute

As most know our community lost a warrior this last week in the passing of Leslie Feinberg, trans Butch lesbian author and activist.  Ivan Coyote wrote the best piece on Leslie’s passing, which you can read here. Ivan Coyote: Blue Not-so-stone Butch

I can’t even put into words what Ivan managed to do so well with this tribute.  Leslie’s authenticity spoke for hir in volumes.  It’s important to convey who Leslie is to younger generations who have not yet read Stone Butch Blues or who ever had the chance to see or hear Leslie speak. Leslie has been a pioneer in LGBT history, and will be remembered as such; as a warrior and for her great contribution to the literary world, as well as to the LGBT community.

Ivan talks about Stone Butch Blues being such a land-mark piece of literature that gave her the inspiration to write down her own stories.  I think that Leslie’s courage rubbed off on many of us.  I know as a Butch writer it’s been because of the courage and determination of other LGBT authors that I continue to write down myself.  Stone Butch Blues was the first book of it’s kind where I could read about someone with similar issues to my own.  I could see myself in Jess and it made me feel so not alone.  I read it and was like “damn! there are others like me in the world!”  Coming from a very rural area, I didn’t have a lot of contact with others on the Butch spectrum, so it was refreshing to be able to read about someone like me.  I think many Butches can relate to the book in some way or another.

RIP Leslie, you will be sorely missed.

Approval of Others….Or Truth of Self?

Would you rather live life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truths and your dreams?

Inadvertently we all start out in this world in the way of living according to the approval of others; it’s called childhood.  We are dressed to the approval of our parents – or grandparents – and fed what they figure we should be eating to quickly grow the hell up and move out of their houses!  For some futures are laid out in details; you will attend this particular college, study this certain course of study, go on to become a professional in your field or you’ll follow in your Father’s footsteps and take over the family business.  Parents’ attempts at living our dreams and wants vicariously through their offspring is epic.

There’s always those who parents throw their hands up in the air and give up on though.  These particular kids don’t want or intend to conform to Mommy  and Daddy’s wishes  – ever.  I know because I was one of those kids.  Whatever my parents wanted, somehow I wanted the exact opposite.  At least it always seemed that way.

As a teenager I became increasingly more rebellious and after graduation I joined the US Army – see I never intended to even TRY to go to college, high school had been hard enough to navigate in my sexuality, and hiding my true authentic self to the point of pain and tears.  I never really fit in, although I tried like hell to hang with the rougher crowd; the faster cars, drug fueled escapades and sneaking in through the 2nd story window early in the mornings.  I wore Levi’s with holes in the knees and ass, rock band t-shirts and heavy work boots…although I kept my hair shoulder length as a semi-attempt at disguising my Butch self, I never felt that I truly belonged anywhere.

Today, some 30-35 years later I feel that I live today more aligned to my personal truths and closer to what makes me feel like a real, valuable person, a good Butch, and though it was a long journey, and a struggle to arrive at this place I finally feel comfort in who I am, and in my body.

It has taken years, and I’ve had places along the trail where my boots became mired in the muddiness of life and times that I have fallen to my knees, weary from just trying to be myself, without being constantly judged for who I am; for what I seemingly represent to some others.

There were years that I tried to hide myself still in certain situations.  Generally they pertained to work and my professional life in the construction industry.  I entered that world at a time when very very few other women were doing what I was doing, from the actual physical labor of swimming pool construction, to design, layout and entire job coordination or general contracting.  I recall conferences where I was singly the only woman “in” the business, and the other women there were the wives of the men in the business.  There were proud moments of receiving recognition for my work – my father taught me well – or getting some kind of award.  I tried the wearing more feminine clothing route for those things and I felt like a clown, make up and all.  The discomfort and humiliation of my feeling that I had to do that would just devastate me.

For a while in my early adult years I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with my gender and sexuality issues.  I was not alone in that quest to kill the pain that way; many of my fellow Butches and other LGBT friends fell down that hole of hell just as deep.  When I was high or drunk – or a combo of both – I was a bolder me; I wasn’t as afraid of the world, the taunts and the looks shot my way.  In the early eighties I started to lose friends, mostly trans women and drag queens, to some strange illnesses.  Then the CDC told us about HIV and AIDS and I lost more to voilence and ignorance, and suicide as a result.  In 1992 I had managed to get clean and then got sick several times that summer.  My counsellor (yes I had turned to therapy to help with my low self esteem and addictions) urged me to be tested…and yes, I tested HIV positive that final day in August 1992.

That was 22 years ago now.  I take a lot of medications to stay alive.  I take a good amount to combat the depression and anxiety disorders brought on by dealing with everything, especially this disease.  My daily battles now are more with health considerations than with gender struggles.  It was about 6 years ago that I woke up one morning and gave permission to myself to BE BUTCH in all the glory that that meant to me.  I am happy with myself, although always striving to be better; to be a better world citizen, to be a better writer, vlogger and friend.  I have the incredible love of my large extended family and a great network of friends both online and in daily life.  I could not be a luckier person in my opinion.

So my answer would be that I would always choose to live my life aligned authentically, true to my self and who I am in this world, and true to my brothers and my community.  I pursue dreams that still allude to finding happiness simply in being who I am and serving my purpose of leaving this world a better place than when I entered it….that is what I hope to accomplish.

~MainelyButch

 

Our Internet Allegiances and Remembering when…

The last 20 years I have – like the rest of the world most likely – watched and participated in the internet and the world-wide web taking over the world; bringing social networking to our tool box for communication.  It has certainly drawn our LGBT communities much closer; brought individuals into our lives that we may never have met without it, and changed the base-line dynamics of how relationships begin, go on and end.  

My own experience with computers and the internet came to me in my early 30’s….in 1993 actually.  And since then it has become part of my daily life.  Because of this daily access to information, education, opinion, people, and tons of other things, I find that I have personally learned many things along the journey that have changed me in some way.  I imagine that this is true for everyone who has brought the computer into the home, place of business, on vacations and has become the standard everyday user of said machine.  

We’ve grown a whole new vocabulary for using the internet, and for using the texting features on our phones and other devices. Words that have grown in such popularity and usage that they have been added to our dictionaries and allowed on the Scrabble board!  Some are clean cut, some require some experience of understanding with the topic of the word.  We’ve gotten used to it now.  

Twenty years ago we were in a different place in the LGBT community; in our country and in the world.  We found solidarity in Gay Pride parades and events.  We built alliances for support, encouragement and protection.  The world was still much less hospitable to LGBT identifying people than it is today in 2014…but it was making progress every so slowly.  

The internet became our strongest tool in forming these alliances and building on this new-found solidarity as we leaned about one another, learned that we are not alone in our struggles; that others had/have the same experiences or questions about themselves and where they “fit” in the big picture as we do!  And today this wonderful thing we call the web is the primary “go-to” tool for building or forming just about everything.  Computers have helped us do more than communicate, they have enriched our scientific studies, testing, allowed us to see things previously invisible, and allowed us to make things previously unknown – such as 3D copies for example.  Yes, the computer changed life on earth very radically; and the internet changed social interaction around the world quickly, effectively and entirely.

I love my computer experiences.  I enjoy my computers, what each can do, what I have each set up to do for me or with me when the need arises.  I love social media, networking, meeting new and interesting people online and then oft times in person!  I giggle at the funny pictures everyone can now post.  I shed tears for the sad posts that bring a touch of real life agony from half a world away right into our living room.  Yes, for the most part – probably 98% I do really enjoy my computer time and activities.  

There is that 2% of the time that something I see on my social networking, news, blog, or video sites unseats or unnerves me to the core.  I get that freedom of speech is the rule. That people are free to have their own opinions, and to post whatever they wish to post to their “pages” around the web.  And sometimes I am not going to like a post, a picture, or a statement made by someone else.  I am free to not read, look at or interact with those posts – that is my choice I fully understand.  Perhaps maybe today, 20 years down the data-train road I understand that I make my own choices even more fully than I understood it at 32.  That does not mean that I have to enjoy making that choice; or that I ever enjoy stumbling across stuff that I think is mean-spirited, cyber-bullying; or that comes across as hate-speech, sometimes full of stuff that can be outright assaults on others, crude, rude, crass, nasty, or vulgar, etc.  

I understand that when there is a space where I am invited to leave a comment that I am rightful to do so if I choose.  But there seems to be this fairly new internet thing where some use the comments sections to try to start on-line arguments, debates, and just like to post upsetting stuff.  Some of them are what I call “drama queens” (which anyone can be, it’s not a gender specific title!) and “turd stirrers” who like to stir the pot and get people upset and riled up.  If someone verbally assaults or attacks me or any of my friends I am one who will come forward and say something or try to diffuse the situation; perhaps it was just a misunderstanding to begin with and no harm was intended.  But when slander and hurt is done purposefully I consider that poster a cyber-bully; someone who is just rude and probably are self-loathing beings anyway.  

Personally I do not believe that it’s right to use your online space to hurt others, or to post about other’s choices and lives.  I do not ever use photos or video clips of people on my pages to ever hurt them.  And generally IF I use a photo of someone I DO get their permission – unless it’s a viral clip like a dog in a hat, that I am going to say is “cute”.  Those are only common courtesies to me.  And I do not mind others sharing my post or videos if it’s for the right reasons, for the base intention of doing good, and not for defaming or slandering me in any way; not for negative reasons or on negatively loaded sites.  I have much more respect for any blogger or vlogger, who wants to use my posts, when they contact me and explain what they are going to use them for in advance of just posting them.  I would like to think that I have good, decent internet values and mannerisms; and that I am far above having to use other people’s posts to cause controversy that draws views or interest to my posts – but brings them nothing but harm and misery.

We had some very hateful incidents concerning a certain set of blogs and vlogs where the creator was very anti-trans and chose to attack many FtM guys publicly – copying and re-posting their surgery pictures and giving horrific details of why these people were wrong to transition.  Quite a few people banned together and got involved and we tried to get this person banned from vlogging and blogging using pictures without authorization  – or even common courtesy of asking to use them – We got a private investigator involved, we know the person, far too much about this person actually now…and sadly she’s still got people who read and believe all of the sludge that she created; who looks completely past the hurt she’s doing / has done to these innocent people with her vile posts.  I thought most of the world was progressing, but obviously we have some stragglers!  I am sure that some of you remember this time in our online history, those that she didn’t completely shame off of the web, she hurt our community with her poison – which is just hard to forget!

 (((Note:  Don’t even mention her vile name in any comments left, I will not approve them if you do!!!!  She deserves NO more “hits” on her vlogs or blogs, so don’t mention her moniker or name please!)))  

I will be following this blog with another in the next day or two speaking on the solidarity we have created via our online connections, and how those alliances have so positively affected and helped many of us in the LGBT community.  Much more up beat!  🙂 Rock on!Image