I’m tired. Tired of fighting all this hate in this country. The last 7 months, since Trump took office, have really been very difficult. I’m sure many feel that same weariness that I feel right now. But I know it is so important to not give up just because we are weary. I know I have to continue to be strong in facing the evil that is upon us right now. I only pray that there will come better, quieter and more peaceful days.
What is starting to happen more frequently now is that people are starting to really come to logger heads. The personal fighting and attacks have begun. We are beginning to become more and more divided every day. Just today, in my OWN HOME I had someone say some very pro-Trump, hateful and bigoted things. Now, you KNOW I wanted to explode and go nuclear on the guy, but instead I got super mad – to the point of tears coming to my eyes – and retreated to my bedroom to try to simmer down. This person is staying at my house and now I am equally angry about THAT. I don’t want this kind of hate and intolerance in my own home; in my personal space or in the place where I am supposed to feel safe. I can’t have it. So, I am now faced with having to tell him he needs to move on – out of my space. This hurts me deeply. I always considered him a good friend, and I never expected to hear such garbage from him. He was insinuating that Trump pardoning Arpiao was the right thing, and that Arpiao was only rounding up Latinos because they are “all criminals anyway”…and he continued to say things I can’t repeat here. It was disgusting. It was terrifying. I am a Butch lesbian, who KNOWS what his true feelings and ideas are about ME and my kind! THAT is terrifying. And I can’t have that fear lingering over me in my own space; space that is supposed to be safe, nurturing and comfortable for me. Space where I can hide from the evils of the world.
So tomorrow I have to sit him down and explain to him that I cannot have him here any longer. This will cause him some problems as he will have to go back to staying at a hotel and on couches. But I can’t give a soft spot to land to a bigot and racist. It’s not who I am. And not what I wish to be associated with in any way, shape or form. Let him take his sorry ass somewhere else, maybe go be with his own kind. I don’t know what he will do, I just hope he’s reasonable about leaving quietly, because he has to go away from here; away from my HOME.
THIS is what all of this Trump inspired division is DOING to us here in the USA. It’s tearing friends apart. It is tearing families apart. We do not – or CANNOT – trust each other anymore. The feeling is very visceral. It’s frightening to be in any minority group here.
I’m scared. I don’t know where this is all going, but I want to go back to the Obama years. I want to go back to when we felt like we were safer and moving in a good direction with the country. I don’t want to re-enact Nazi Germany’s history here in the United States….but THAT is what is happening.
The way it’s forming up, 1/3 of the people here are willing to kill another 1/3 of the people, and the last 1/3 is willing to stand by silently and watch….
THAT is our currently REALITY.
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