Twisted Tuesday

WavebyNelsonLinscottA mid-May Tuesday afternoon…I’m sitting here feeling really mellow and accomplished for the moment.  Yeah, I find myself in a really good place in life right now.  And I am dong all I can do to keep it this way for the long-term.  My attitude has definitely improved, as well as my outlook on life in general.  So much has happened in the past year, it’s difficult to put a finger on exactly when all this change started for me; I know that having Bones in my life has been the biggest enhancement for sure.  She’s the biggest reason I keep a nice comfortable smile on my face every day.  I like that – a LOT.

I’ve been struggling with writing lately.  What happens is that I get watching and listening to news pundits and my brain goes crazy trying to take in all that is happening in my country; with my government.  It’s just insanity.  Anyone who is trying to keep up with the daily tweet storms from the idiot in the White House is probably a bit stresses like me.  I’m an activist, it’s in my bones.  And I cannot just ignore what is happening; the destruction and degradation of the United States being done by one man and one party – the GOP.  Plus, ignoring what’s happening is not going to help move us toward any solutions, we all must continue to keep abreast of this “situation” and stay well informed so that we can speak out and stand up to his bullying ways.

I don’t care to spend this whole blog talking about his dumbass tonight.  I’d rather discuss other things, but I just wanted to remind you all that it’s all-fucked-up here in the USA right now, and it’s affecting everyone – even if they deny it.  Nothing is right.  Nothing is safe.  Every one and everything is being changed…and not for the good.

Work has been going great!  I complain a bit to my girl about my job sometimes; about a particular person I don’t like working with, but for the most part I really enjoy getting up at 5am every morning (except Wednesdays) and going in to work.  The truck stop is a really bustling place, with people from all over stopping in to fuel up their 18 wheelers, or their RV’s and cars.  We are also a full gas station, convenience store, and take-out bistro.  The place has shower facilities for those looking to freshen up from their long travels.  Yes, it’s busy.  We sell about 380 cups of coffee every morning…yep, 380….that’s a lot of fucking coffee!  🙂  Thankfully the coffee bar is self-serve!

I run into many of my local friends who come in to the store to pick up incidentals, fill their cars with gas, or get a pizza for dinner.  It’s nice, I can chat for a few minutes, get the gist of the local news from their end of town, and not have to visit overly long as I have to get back to my job.  I’ve been there 2 1/2 years now and I have no current plans to leave there any time soon.  Last week I actually scored a bonus from one of our product reps for doing a good job pushing their product line.  That was nice for my checking account!  And it felt great to be recognized for the work that I do there.  I know I only work part time, but I give it my all when I am there.  I am dependable, reliable, courteous, and friendly with the clientele.  It’s not rocket science work, but it’s steady and keeps me occupied part of every week day.  Working part time fits me well.  My back is sore – that’s a given – but I can deal with it.  And my co-workers know my lifting limits due to my back condition, so it’s not a problem.  Once in a while I try to work 3/4 or a full shift, but my back starts to really get back around hour 5, so I try to stick to my 4 hour days for health reasons.  Also, working early mornings gives me the whole rest of the day to deal with medical appointments, home maintenance, housekeeping, the dogs, and my gardens and other responsibilities.  Oh…and especially time to see my Mom at least once a week for a few hours!  So, yeah, work is good.  No complaints!

My girlfriend visited again at the beginning of the month, I may have mentioned that in a previous blog…hmmm…yes, I did.  I wrote about what we did.  Anyway, I miss her terribly in between her visits.  We speak on the phone a few times a day, and are in touch via text and messenger.  We Skype a couple of times a week – which I really love to do and look forward to doing.  Modern technology makes a long distance relationship (LDR) much easier.  Before cell phones and computers I would never have thought about dating a woman who lives in Texas!  And we are both very well established in our respective homes, so neither of us is moving any time soon.  We will keep doing the LDR thing, keep having visits, and make it work.  She’s stolen my heart…something I never thought could happen again like it did with her.  She’s magic to my soul.  And she makes me incredibly proud, happy and enthusiastic about life!  She’s also very low maintenance to me, she doesn’t give me a hard time about anything (except maybe smoking, even then she hasn’t been too bad…but I KNOW I should quit) and makes it really easy for me to be with her.  I try to reciprocate those same things to her.  I just want to be a really good influence, a good lover, and a happy part of her life.  As long as we are those things to each other then we’ll stay together as we are now.

So, Bone, my girlfriend, is returning to Maine in mid-July for a month!!!  YES!!! A MONTH!   I am really stoked for this upcoming extended stay!  She’s bringing her daughter with her.  Babycakes is 3 yrs. old and just a beautiful child.  She has challenges, but she lights up the room, and I love her to pieces – it helps that I am mad for her Mom!  I set up my spare room to accommodate the little girl, and before they arrive I am planning to paint that room and then Bones can decorate it as she likes when they are here.  Right now the room has a queen size bed, a dresser, desk and night stand.  I may have to remove the desk to give her a little more room in there.  We’ll see!  It’s all so exciting!  I have not lived with anyone in years, and not that we are going to be “living” together, but her being here a month is pretty damned close!

I have need for my own “space” sometimes.  I get into moods where I just want to be left alone to do whatever it is that I feel like doing.  Bones seems to be kind of the same, she needs her alone time too.  So, it’s good that I have the 2 bedrooms, and the back room that used to be my office is now another sitting room.  I call it the “Zen Room”.  I put a couch and coffee table in there and some plants and cool stuff on the walls, so it looks nice and is a really relaxing space.  We have plenty of room to do as we please.  Damn…I am so fucking lucky.

While Bones and Babycakes are here it will be the dead of summer, hot and humid I am sure.  My parents’ have a great in-ground swimming pool, which we will be taking full advantage of using!  It’s out away from their house, so we don’t even have to bother them if we go over and hang out around the pool.  There’s a pool house, bathroom, changing room and recreation area with outdoor games, too.  I’m anticipating a lot of great water fun with Babycakes, who really loves the water!  And I’m sure my parents will have some poolside parties, BBQ’s and the such while they are here.  I’m looking forward to all of that, and to showing my girl off a little.  (I’m bad, I know! haha!)

I’m also planning a trip up to North Conway NH to do some camping and to kayak a 7 mile stretch of the Saco River up there.  My siblings usually go several times during the summer, so I imagine we will tag along with some of them one weekend.  My youngest brother already has his 40′ RV set up at a campsite up there, so we have a sort of “base station” with that, from which we can go anywhere.  And there’s plenty of room on the site to either pitch a tent, or we’ll get a couple of bunks in the RV if they’re not all full.  The thing sleeps 8 people!  It’s crazy cool.  I borrowed it once to live up at the fair grounds while I was working an 11 day fair in Massachusetts a few years ago, made me want a small one of my own.  Maybe someday I’ll get more serious about that desire and look into doing it.  Wouldn’t travelling around with an RV be so wicked pissah cool!?

I can just picture myself doing something just like that: travelling coast to coast in an RV with my dogs.  I don’t know if I would sell everything big that I owned and do it, or if I would make it sort of a seasonal excursion.  That’s a chapter of life that’s yet to be written, but it’s on my list of things I would like to do!  I should do a new vision board…and that is something that I should put on it for sure.  Perhaps I will do that while it’s raining this coming weekend!

I’ve planted my flower gardens, as I do every year.  Those who have followed me, or who personally know me, know that I love to garden.  I like to put in new perennial flowers and plants.  I moved into this house near the beginning of December 2015, so like 2 1/2 yrs now…this is the 3rd summer here at this place.  The gardens were kind of pre-established when I got the place, and the only “new” one is the veggie garden out back that me and Charlie have (Charlie’s my neighbor who’s house is behind mine).  Charlie also has a MEGA garden tilled up on the top of the hill behind his house, it’ plateau’s and he tilled up a great big rectangular area where we are going to locate all of the vining plants, like squash and pumpkins, watermelon and some cucumbers.  Charlie also likes to plant gardens of cutting flowers, so he’s putting things that flower in among the veggies too.  Today I picked up some small starter plants from Walmart’s selection, which was on sale even.  I got: cucumbers, summer squash, watermelon, pumpkins, green peppers, red peppers (both the sweet style), jalepeno peppers, basil, lavender, and rosemary.  I think that’s the whole list…did that from memory as the plants are still in the back of my car, where they will remain until tomorrow.  It’s raining outside currently, and has been on and off all afternoon, so I am planning to get them out of the car and into the ground in the morning.

2018-05-20 17.05.00Speaking of morning….tomorrow is the “day” for Lulu.  Yep, she’s going to get spayed.  She’s over 3 yrs old now (turned 3 on Feb 17th) and it’s time.  I also will not miss taking extra care of her during her heats.  She would get puffy and sore, and she would cling to me even MORE than she already does!  Wanted her belly rubbed constantly.  (Like any woman…LMAO)  And she needed baths every few days during her 2 weeks of misery.  That’s supposed to happen again in June…so I am pre-empting this show…cancelled due to lack of interest, and the star has to have some downtime….LMAO….I wonder if she will lose interest in her “humpy dog” stuffed animal that she seems so sexually attracted to during her cycle?  Hahaha…it’s funny as hell, and while I DO have a short video of it -BECAUSE  it’s so friggin FUNNY! – I am not going to post it here.  I’ll  spare you the Lulu show!  Haha.  And for anyone who is now wondering…YES, female dogs DO hump!  I have had several and every one of them was caught doing it at some point.  Some are sneakier than others – I had one that would hide and hump – while some, like Lu, have no shame.  Hey, they’re mammals, it’s natural!  (Ok, I’m laughing to myself here….)

I picked up a couple of new coloring books a few weeks back and they’ve been laying here on my table ever since.  I’m thinking that I may do some quiet coloring – maybe with a nice soft background music from Alexa – after I am done with my blogging, reading and watching the final episode of The Middle.  (Yep, I’m a known sit-com junkie…haha)  I’m feeling great; very laid back and relaxed.  As long as I don’t tune into CNN or MSNBC I’ll be super til morning!  So, after sitcom’s are over I am turning the TV off for the night.  I downloaded a sleep sounds app and am going to try out.  Maybe something in the list will inspire me in some way.

I had a couple of major health check-ups over the last month.  I’m doing excellent still.  My T-cells are 970 and my VL is >30.  It even showing could be just a blip from the time or the day it was drawn.  I’m damned lucky and damned healthy!  I also met with the kidney specialist, we’re doing more testing on what’s going on there.  There are signals that my kidneys are diseased and/or weakening.  So, I’m drinking lots of water and waiting for my next appointment.  This particular doctor is very had to get in to see, she’s top notch and her services are in high demand, so I’m willing to wait. I will see her later June again.  And I’m having testing on my liver done (a scan) first week of June, meeting the doctor on that one the following week.  If that scan goes well, which I’m sure it will, I’ll be starting on the Harvoni  – an 8-12 week treatment – soon as I am able.  I’ve been dragging my feet on this drug for years.  The only treatment prior to this was by injection…and being a recovering junkie playing with needles isn’t something I should ever be doing.  Even with the animals it bothers me to use the syringe.  Gives me the willies.

Tomorrow I’ll be getting up a bit early, so I can get Lu ready for her trip to the vet.  I’m going to finish this up here.  I hope you all are doing well, staying healthy as possible and happy as permissible.  Haha…

 

Peace   ~  MB

“What can’t be cured, must be endured.”

TimeOnlyPasses

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Crazy Spring Feelings

I get crazy for her some nights, that urge just won’t quit.  I lay flat on my back, which is how I sleep anyway, stretch out and try to imagine…oops, did I turn off the stove…? Fuck.  And, yes, I generally get up to check if that thought, or a thought about the heat being turned down crosses my mind.  After getting back up to check on things at least once, I settle into my bed, one dog laying by my side and the other laying on my chest.  This is how I sleep every night.  I’m a back sleeper, flat on my back.  I wake myself laughing quite often, and can manipulate my dreams if I try hard enough…it’s a gift I believe.

I got up this morning, turned on my computer and resumed watching a movie that I had started last night – before my eyelids wouldn’t stay open.  The movie was “Below Her Mouth” and is very erotic, sexy and one of the best lesbian movies I have seen done.  Generally when you watch any movie with two women getting it on it’s staged and done by straight men, thus it’s not realistic or true to form.  THIS movie was very realistic, true to form and a great depiction of lesbian sex.  Didn’t look fake at all, which made it even hotter.  So, if you’re looking to get yourself a bit sexually aroused this weekend, check out “Below Her Mouth” on Netflix.  I can just about guarantee you won’t be sorry!

The high winds last week got so bad one night that it blew my bird feeding station pole down, and it’s anchored by a piece of marble…so it has weight, but the wind was so ferocious that anything without deep roots was flying around.   Luckily, I only lost one feeder.  My finch tube feeder was crushed by the pole when it fell.  I just put everything back together and the local birds are now happily snacking once again.

Spring is very slow coming here in Maine this year.  It’s April 7th and it’s 38 degrees, windy, but sunny.  It’s just been a weird ending to winter for us.  Keeps snowing, about every other day we get snow.  None of it is “sticking” or building up; generally it’s gone in a few hours of sunshine.  But it’s annoying as fuck.

I am anxious for warmer days, sunshine and gardening!  I have even mapped out my property in planning out my gardens for 2018.  I do love my gardens, and being outside working in them.  Even weeding has a sort of zen feeling to it for me.  And I’ve been watching some DIY videos about prepping the vegetable garden soil for better growth and production.  I haven’t added compost to that garden since I built it the first spring I was in this house.  So, compost is being mixed in this season, so things should grow good.  And I am planning a long garden down the side of the trailer, coming out about 6′ or so, I bought a bunch of wildflower seeds and am going to prepare that area and over-seed it with a mix of four types of seeds: hummingbird attractor, flowering perennials, flowering annuals, and a butterfly mixture.  This next coming weekend it’s supposed to be warmer, so I am planning to do some outdoor work; raking, trimming and laying some stones I have procured from the nearby quarry.

April 10, 2018.

My girlfriend and I are doing really great, despite the distance.  My heart is really happy about this.  It’s strange to take such a big chance on love again at 56…I seriously thought that this part of my life was pretty much finished.  I never expected to meet Bones.  She’s changed my whole outlook on some things, and I was obviously very ready to make the changes.  I don’t exactly know where we are taking things, it’s complicated in a few ways.  She has a life in Texas, a business and a child.  Right now we are just trying to stay connected daily, enjoying the moments, and not making any future plans.  Living and taking things day-by-day, as they come.  She’s coming back in May to spend some more time with me.  And she’s bringing her daughter to meet me.  I am really looking forward to this next visit!

I’ve really gone out on a limb with this woman.  I’m pleasantly surprised at how well things are going and how deeply she’s affected me.  I’m allowing her past many walls and letting her through the barriers to my heart.  It’s been scary, but worth every wince. She just looks at me and I melt into a puddle inside…the feeling is outrageously delicious.  I long for her touch when we are apart; and I know she’s feeling it too.  That’s the best part.  I feel for people who settle for anything less than this feeling, it’s the best feeling in the world to connect with another person on this level of depth, emotionally, physically and sexually, it’s just phenomenal.

I have opened a new website for anyone interested in Butch-femme connections and conversation.  It’s just getting off the ground.  It’s a membership only site where you join up and create a profile.  I am going to link it here in this post.  Anyone who would like to contribute, participate or even just lurk around until they feel more comfortable, is welcome to join.  The site has been created for women who prescribe to the Butch-femme dynamic mostly, but there are forums for other things as well such as LGBT news and articles.  The site is called Butch-Femme-Perspectives.  Please join me!  I feel that with some effort on all of our parts we can make the site pretty damned cool!  We’ll add and subtract from it as necessary, creating our own unique safe place on the web.

Alrighty, let me wrap this up.  The day is burning away, I need to get some things done outside and am lingering inside just waiting for it to warm up a tad.  Hell..I could be waiting til Thursday at this rate!  Haha…

What does your week hold in store for you?  Any great things happening?  What are you looking forward to?

Peace.    ~MB

 

 

 

Love

Ang sketch

Love is just a giant little word.  One I am afraid of and have really only said and meant a very few times in my life.  Sure, there is platonic love like how you love a friend for being a friend, or parental love as in how we love our parents.  But there is also a thing called romantic love.  Romantic love is what I speak of here.  I have an issue with it evidently.   When I was younger and more outgoing I chased after love like it was an intoxicator that I just had to have to breath; to live.  But now in my older age here I do far less chasing after this type of love.

Currently I am in a long distance relationship with my lover from Virginia.  Long distance love just sucks when what you crave is the daily touch of another human being.  I want her hands on my body, her kiss upon my lips.  I want the sigh of a woman in my ear.  Distance just keeps all of this from me in a way that feels so cruel and stinging.

Love is one of those emotions I used to try to steer clear of for a few of the more recent years.  I don’t feel like I am very easy to understand for most people, therefore not very loveable to them either.  My exterior is a bit on the harder, rough side and I can be quite stoic in my emotions.  But believe me when I do crack and cry the tears flow like rivers.  It’s not that I mean to be sort of shut down sometimes, but I often am afraid of what to say and don’t want to make mistakes by saying the wrong things.  I tend to speak my mind and that’s not always a good thing I have learned.

Love is a very personal thing for me.  It never has come easy.  I am wary of being burned and thus I take my time with someone.  I have to know that the person loves me that same way that I love her.  I’m a very chivalrous type of Butch, I like to do things that some consider to be male attributes, like pull out her chair, open her car door and entry doors to buildings.  I believe it’s very easy to be kind and chivilrous at the same time.  I’m also one who likes to take care of my woman, make sure she’s happy and contented.  The happier the wife the happier the life!  And that is one very true statement.  And the happier she is the happier I can also be.

As you can see from this post Love has been on my mind heavily lately.  I’m hungry for the touch of another body, and for some ah-mazing sex.  But alas I remain alone here and committed to the path I am walking right now.

Peace!  ~MB

Catching up…

The brilliance of this blank blogging page is intimidating.  I haven’t written a single word in what feels like over a month now, and it’s just not like me, and it’s not making me happy at all.  I love to write, and it’s something that if I do it every day it makes my day more complete, more normal.

I have been battling some depression as of late.  And letting every little thing bother me to no end.  It’s funny that when I become depressed everything else seems to magnify in it’s intensity; my irritablness, my inability to focus, my ADD and my shorter fused temper.  I try to be more aware of these things, which keeps me in this hyper vigilant state…not good either.  I just want to relax and feel normal.

Depression is so difficult to describe to someone who doesn’t have it or really understand it.  I have found this out first hand many times.  I don’t like to talk about my own depression, it shames me, it makes me nervous and it feels like I am just crazy sometimes.  Which I assure you, I am not.  Those of you reading this that deal with depression on any level – in yourself or in a close loved one – will understand when I say that sometimes there just isn’t a verbally expressable reason to be given to anyone for why one is depressed.

I’ve heard every “cure” known.  “Just smile and think happy thoughts”  “You can’t be depressed, everyone loves you” “Just snap out of it, and be happy”  Etc. Etc. Etc.  You get the gist I am sure.  It seems so simple until you are mired up to your ears in the feelings of doom, gloom, hopelessness and helplessness that are depression’s evil followers

I even take strong medications to try to control it.  The meds do keep me in check pretty well, but still sometimes I go through a depressive episode anyways. But with the meds they are generally pretty short and tolerable.

this current state I am in has been just a few days, and I have to say it’s really not a “bad” epidsode at all.  I just feel really low, and out of sorts. I have that I am “useless” feeling…but in my rational brain I know this is not true and I know that with some of the meditations that I do, some more outside activity and some personal kindness to myself I will ease out of this spot and be just fine once again.  It just takes a little patience and self-awareness, coupled with a strong will and a refusal to be this way all the time.

I have friends who suffer from some pretty bad serious depression, mine is nothing compared to what others go through I am sure.  I’ve seen my best friend at her utter worst with her untreatable severe depression, and it’s very painful to see from the outside looking in, so I can only imagine what it is really like for her to be living it in her head.

My depression has triggers.  I’m sure most people in the world have triggers of things that will depress them or send them into a bad mood for a few days.  No one is really immune from being depressed, it’s part of the human condition.  It’s just ath some people are more prone to it than others and it’s handled differently by each individual.

One of the triggers of my current pissed off state is that my buddy who lives in the same neighborhood as me has had to move back up to interior Maine quite suddenly.   I didn’t even have time to compute what was going on really before she had to pack up and leave.  It’s not her fault, the situation just came up and she had to make a difficult decision.  It pissed me off because I enjoyed having a friend close by, I enjoyed having someone I could just call up and say “hey, let’s go shopping” or “let’s take the dogs somewhere” at the spur of the moment.  My reaction to her having to move so fast and so far away so suddenly just wasn’t something that I had prepared myself for dealing with.  Generally people get notice of 2-3 months before they are required to move, but when your housing is suddenly in jeopardy of being gone in a matter of days or a couple of weeks it has a serious phychological affect on an individual.

People NEED a place to LIVE…not just a place to sleep at night, but a space in which to live and be comfortable.   I feel really bad because it was me who found the room she was renting, and me who encouraged her to move down closer to southern Maine.  So of course, I feel somewhat responsible. But I did learn some lessons too.  Like never move without a written lease to protect your interests.  Leases are to protect BOTH the leasor and the leasee.

I feel really lucky – thus I should not be depressed right?  Right.  My housing is very secure, but it makes me angry that someone that I care for got shafted out of her housing like she did.  I will not go into details other than to say she was given no warning nor any sort of formal notice by her roommate, just told that she should look for other housing.  When she questioned how long she had his answer was to say he was selling and moving asap and  that could be either in 2 weeks or in 2 months…it was a fucked up situation.  I shall stay out of housing suggestions as much as possible from now on.  I just hope that she can find a good solid, affordable situation for her and Oreo, her cat, as soon as possible.  Currently she’s sleeping on a friend’s couch.  She’ll stay with me this coming weekend, but the couch surfing days are for when you are in your 20’s and much more carefree…not for when we are over 50 and need security in our living space.

Another trigger for me is that I get lonely.  Even though I have a huge family here, and they love me I know.  It’s just lonely living alone and knowing that that will not change.  Waking up every morning exactly the same way, alone, and having coffee in the morning, alone.  Showering, dressing and deciding what the day will be like, alone.  I’m tired of being alone.

I do have a very serious romantic interest, I admit that. She’s very far away though, we are doing the long distance thing and we’ve been doing pretty good with it too.  Thank the universe for the internet, particularly Skype and Viber.  I manage to talk to her every day quite a bit, and we Skype as often as possible.  I love seeing her smiling face on that screen, I just wish I could reach through it and touch her cheek, run my fingers through her hair and brush away those pesky tears when they fall.  I would give anything to be able to see her in person very soon.  I’m really hoping that we can make it happen over the summer sometime.  She is vital to my happiness every day; so important to me.  She’s the reason I smile when I do get up in the morning and immediately check my phone for messages from her.  It’s not easy doing the online long distance thing, but  I wouldn’t give her up for anything.  I just want to continue to find ways to make her smile and laugh and be happy interacting with me, and I want to see us continue to enjoy one another. It’s been like 8 months now and I am just blown away with how entirely into her that I am.  She is the best part of my day; of my life right now.

I have to say that I am finding this writing to be therapeutic tonight.  Perhaps this is what I needed, to get back to my writing and to get back to putting my feelings out there instead of bottling them all up inside where they are driving me nuts and causing some of the depression for sure.

Other things going on here…well, the weather is FINALLY more summer-ish.  It was 83 F today and sunny.   I got some new flowers to plant, I have thus far planted my herb garden, and one of my railing boxes with wave petunias and accent plants.  I have 2 more flats of flowers to disperse to two other railing boxes, plus to mingle into the gardens around the property.  Most of the ones I have to plant are annuals, you plant them once a year, they do not come back the next year like perrenials do.  Much of my bigger gardens around the place are perrenial gardens and they fill right up every year as the plants spread when they come back up.  I just love gardening.  My sweetheart calls me Butch Stewart….cute huh?  I actually needed less annuals this year because the perrenial gardens are doing so well.  But I shall brighten them up with some marigolds, ronoculus and some greenery like coleus plants.  I lost two rose bushes, but the climbing rose is doing well, so I will give it a new trellis this year to grow on.

The new puppy, Lulu Lemondrop…aka Osama Bin FuzzButt, due to her terrorist ways…hahahaah….is doing quite well.  She definitely fit right in and took over.  Nola is very standoffish still, but she tolerates and watches over the little one.  Thus far it’s sort of a love-hate relationship.  Nola takes a while to warm up to anything, but I think she will eventually warm up to Lulu too.  Lu just has to grow and get a little bigger.  Nola does try to play with her occasionally, but Lu only weighs two pounds!!!  So she’s easily mowed over by Nola!  Lulu teases Nola incessantly abou the rawhide bone supply.  She is constantly stealing Nola’s chew bone, which causes quite the panic and cacophony of growls, snarls and barks. This seems to make Lulu somewhat gleeful.  As she races away with whatever she can confiscate.  Nola DOES tease her back with them, putting the bone right under Lulu’s nose and chewing and growling….like “see, it’s MINE…”

My house still looks like a doggie day care center. Not good for my need for organization and neatness!  The pack and play is set up in my living room, and it’s vital because it’s where Lulu sleeps.  She will ask to be put in or taken out of it very politely.  She’s a smart little shit I must say.  She rides in the car quite well, although she prefers for me to hold her across my forearm while I am driving.  So I’m becoming quite proficient at one handed driving.  I have tried to explain to her that she’s going to outgrow this position…but try to tell a 12 week old puppy anything it doesn’t want to hear…it will pretend not to understand you in a heartbeat!  🙂

The dogs both love to go to Dairy Queen for ice cream….it’s their most favorite joint activity and they don’t fight over the ice cream, which is just amazing, and cute to watch.

Ok…I need to get to bed and get some sleep, it’s 11:11PM (AND I just made a wish!!!)  I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weather we are having on the East Coast…and I pray for those in the tornado zones and it makes me sad to see all that damage and devastation on the news.

Sorry that I have been gone for so long and for the rather boring content of this particular entry…but let me get back into the groove. Any suggestions for what you want to hear from me about would be welcome!

Peace!  ~MB

Five Day Photo Challenge

Crocus2015I’ve been working hard on cleaning up my yard around the house all week.  I am seeing a lot of plants poking up from the ground in all of my gardens, but in the middle of the lawn these beautiful blue crocus flowers bloom every spring.  They must have been dropped there somewhere along the years by a bird or something, because they are no where near a garden, just sitting out in the middle of the lawn.  I thought they were so pretty today, in full bloom and all, and I snapped this quick picture with my cell phone….I think the photo came out spectacular for a cell phone pic!  This was taken pre-raking of the area, so you get the full natural effect of the leaves and a stick that needed to be picked up too.  I actually left it and the area around it totally undisturbed, because it looked so beautiful in it’s natural setting.

So this is my photo of the day share with you.

There is a sort of “challenge” going around on WordPress right now where you post a photo a day for 5 days and write 5 stories/poems/paragraphs about the photo.  I was inspired to join the challenge when I saw Cee’s Photography Blog and her post today of the sunset.  She always has the best photography and photo type challenges on her blog, and it’s all quite inspiring to us amateur photographers.

I would like to see Butchcountry67 and Kris of Tangled Web both do this 5 day photo challenge too!  🙂  And anyone who is secretly wanting to also do the challenge is welcome to jump on board!  I am going to actually take a fresh photo each day instead of using recycled or previously taken photos, but you can probably do it either way, use a photo you have that has an awesome story behind it or take a new photo of something you encounter during your day.

I’ve been seeing the Bald Eagles a LOT lately. I think they’e become my totem or something.  They have evidently nested near the river between Maine and New Hampshire close to where I live.  I travel that road every day and cross the river.  Yesterday I saw one of them sitting on a stump IN the river fishing…He was just gorgeous and such a bright white head and tail, and such a HUGE bird.  I would LOVE to get a photo of one or both of the Eagles, now THAT would be a great picture if I can get close enough.  I tried yesterday, but I could only get on the bridge, and I only had my cell phone so the pictures didn’t come out very good.  I will keep trying, over the summer I am bound to catch a good picture sometime!

Peace!

~MB

Life Update – Youtube Update

Hello!  For those of you who follow my videos online on Youtube:

I am having major camera and computer issues at this time. I will have them corrected this week for sure and will be back strong with a full month of daily videos (Video Every Day for May) as promised in my last video post.  

It seems as if every electronic device in my life is trying to break or go wacky lately.  My phone, the webcam, the computers….but alas, my computer guy is coming out to the house to deal with the computer issue I believe on Friday.  I’ll have the phone fixed tomorrow and the web-cam…well that is still up in the air as of now.  But I will find some way to film and post, don’t worry I am a “fixer” and this too I shall FIX!  

As far as a basic life update…everything is going okay!  I can’t complain at all. The weather in Maine has been absolutely gorgeous for days on end now, in the low 70’s and very very comfortable!  

I even got out and got the lawn all raked, and mowed, the place looks great!  Next comes my flowers and the veggie garden – which I have procured all of the necessary materials to make a nice raised bed garden for free!  Got to love my local friends and connections, seems they have lots of stuff laying around they want to give away to be re-purposed!  I got lumber from the farm and all I will need will be some good growing soil, which I know I can also scam up pretty easily.  I’m really looking forward to growing my own veggies and herbs this year.  It will be my 2nd full summer in this home, and it’s time for a veggie garden!  Gardening, both flowers and veggies, is a passion of mine.  I love the feel of the dirt, and the satisfaction of knowing that I can create with plants to my hearts content. It’s good for the soul.

Nola is doing wonderful. She got over her loneliness for her friend in all of one day. She’s been very very stuck to me, as usual and I’ve been making sure she’s getting plenty of attention and we are doing things like walks to keep her sharp.  I decided against another dog to keep her company, just because I cannot afford the vet bills and care!  It’s enough to have one, and she enjoys being an “only child” I believe.  Hell, she gets 100% of my attention!  

I have 2 events coming up for my photo button booth and bracelets.  Both in June, so June should be a better month.  I love doing the fairs and festivals, and it excites me when the season comes around!  I am hoping to schedule to be at as many of the local events as possible.  

My health is great, meds are doing their job and I am basically happy and healthy.  Yay!  So that’s the wrap on what’s been going on lately.  I do hope that each of you, my dear readers, are doing well also!  Take care and enjoy Spring!  ~MainelyButch

Restlessness…oh, and Flowers!

I find myself sleepless tonight; restless and irritated from within for some reason.  Perhaps it’s my new schedule from just getting back to work 4 days a week.  My mind just seems full of things that are needing to be done, and I feel the list just growing.  Generally I can re-settle myself when I awake in the middle of the night, but tonight I just cannot seem to find that peace that precedes the passage into a nice slumber.  When I did sleep earlier, I dreamed of being lost and not having my cell phone and not understanding which direction to go in to get back to where I needed to be….I understand the meaning of the dream, and it’s true…I am pushing myself to get back to where I need to be; to find that inner peace again and to have love within arms reach.  Funny how dreams can do that kind of stuff with your sub-conscious thoughts.  

Being back in the working world is feeling really good.  My spirits are higher, and I look forward to getting out each morning, then getting home in the mid-afternoon hours.  I’m only working a 4 hour shift, but after so long being idle; without work, I am having an adjustment period.  The drives to and from work are the best part, I love seeing all of the Spring growth, the flowers blooming and trees budding. And it’s fun to pass all of the landmarks, the parks, various businesses, new businesses that I hadn’t noticed before, and just to be driving through the world with a destination.  

When I return home little Nola about turns herself inside out with complete and utter joy of seeing me.  It’s like I had been gone for a week after only 5 hours!  She wiggles and yips, with a mouthful of one of her stuffed toys, which she offers to whoever comes in the door as a sort of welcoming gift – although you cannot TOUCH the gift, you must just admire it and pet the dog!  Oh..and thank her for it of course!  She’s so sweet, and so devoted to me.  I just don’t know what I would ever do without the little bugger.  She brings such peace and joy to my heart.  And she epitomizes the very meaning of “unconditional love” for me.  

So I am sure I will settle into a routine here with work and my home projects and chores.  I just have to be patient with myself and the world, and let things ease into a regular pattern.  AT this point I rise at about 6:30am generally, and get Jared at 6:50am from his house two doors down.  He comes here in the mornings when his sisters go to school, we have breakfast, him cereal and me coffee.  Then we watch Clifford the Big Red Dog and Curious George morning shows on MPBN and NHPTV networks.  At 7:55am we put on our shoes, coats when needed, and head down to the bus stop at the back entrance to our neighborhood.  Nola LOVES to go with us, and is often the best alarm as to when it’s time to go.  She will begin to prance around and yap, like “hey, it’s time for a walk! The bus is coming soon!”  The three of us have a nice 5 minute walk to the bus stop and await the arrival of the big yellow school bus to whisk Jared off to his Kindergarten classroom.  Yes, it’s pretty regimented every morning Monday through Friday.  I then walk home with Nola and we have some more coffee, Nola eats her breakfast and I watch the morning news and weather while puttering around the house doing mundane – but necessary – house chores.  At 9am I shower and dress, pull my stuff together and kiss Nola good-bye as she glares at me from the back of the couch.  She doesn’t like that part – me leaving that is!  But she’s good and she seems to know that I am leaving and she can’t go along on those trips out.  Yes, we will settle into a routine, I am sure of it.

I am anxious to do more work on my yard and gardens.  Hopefully the Mantis tiller I dropped off to Evan at the machine shop will be repaired and ready for this weekend.  It would just be so much easier to use that than to kill myself doing it by hand!  I mounted 3 more railing boxes along the porch railings, in the best spots for mostly sun all day, this afternoon after work.  Now i just need to fill them with potting soil and get some pretty flowering plants to fill them with this weekend.  I also picked up 3 more large round pots today from Mom and may use those to plant some of the morning glories in, then set them in between the railing bays of the porch and train the plants to trail along the lattice work of the porch.  I love gardening.  I may not be an expert at it, but I give it one hell of a college try.  I read, research, study and think about every thing I am planing and doing out there.  Right now I am anxiously awaiting the sprouting of the grass seed that I planted 2 weeks ago during the drought.  It rained 4.79 inches on Monday…thus the ground is now very saturated and I am expecting with a little more sunshine and warm weather that the seed will germinate and if I carefully fertilize and care for it then I should have a nice lawn by later this summer.  The dirt I am working with to plant in is pretty gravelly and sandy, but I’m trying to make the best of it and have used a good Scott’s Starter Fertilizer already along with the seed.  Hell, the dandelions are coming in prolifically!  THOSE must GO.  I am going to pull alot of them with the weed puller – it’s important to get the whole long root on those or they just re-grow, and I am also going to get some weed killer for them.  I would like a nice lush carpet of GRASS, not just a green spot of various weeds!  

I also picked up a cute little old wooden wheel barrow that I am going to make into a planter for the front lawn.  It’s going to be very cute when finished!  Perhaps this weekend I will have the money for the plants for that as well.  Getting started with your gardens, lawns, and planters is the expensive part!  I try to pick a lot of perennial plants, so they will come up year after year and cut the cost in the future.  I’ve also got Nasturtium seeds and Morning Glory seeds germinating under wet paper towels in the house that will go into some of the planters I mentioned earlier.  Both will re-seed themselves to a large degree.

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