Hot, Hot, Hot!

Whoa!  It was some fucking hot here in Maine today!  It got up to about 95 here where I live in little town southern Maine.  And that is not only very hot, but very unusual for this part of the country.  We generally don’t see temperatures in the 90’s until late July, early August, and even then they are short lived.  Good summer temps here are generally in the high 80’s and the humidity can vary depending on rainfall and how close you are to the water.  I get a lot of ocean breeze here where I am, which is kind of nice.  You can always tell when the tide is rolling in because you can smell the salt in the air.

My moods have been fucked up lately. But I am feeling better overall.  I know that the moods are affected by my various medications, and that’s to be somewhat expected, but still it can be aggravating to me.  I am going to try a new product, called Kratom.  I’ll be doing a bunch of research on it this weekend and hopefully finding some quality product to try out.  It came as a recommendation from a good friends in California who uses it for pain relief and a mood booster — which is close to exactly what I would want to use it for.  It’s an herbal productr from Asia, and isn’t FDA approved, but it’s legal and it has been shown to have significant benefits used in the correct manner.  I’d love to hear from any one who has any personal experience with Kratom as to how you like it and what kinds of benefits it has brought to you.

The house looks pretty good.  I am getting ready to paint the font and back porches, spruce them up a bit.  They could use a good coat of new paint.  I did get the skirting done on both porches, so that animals can’t easily get under there and bother me.  We have some resident ground hogs that live under our various neighborhood sheds.  Hopefully they will stay out of the veggie garden!

I been catching up on my blog reading, so if you are seeing comments from me suddenly on your blogs it’s because I am playing catch up.  This last month I have been really not reading or writing much.  I just needed time to THINK without processing every little bit through my writing.  I have been going to group still, but I think I am about done with that for now.  I’m not feeling like I am getting much out of it personally.  And it’s expensive, as it’s an out of pocket cost for me every week.  I’ve done well, things are still right on track and I feel that I can drop the group therapy thing with no problem.  I will continue with one-on-one therapy for a bit longer, until I feel that I am solid in my recovery.  Plus, hey personal therapy doesn’t hurt one bit.  It’s actually been good for me, helps me process some of the fucked up shit I have had to deal with lately.  And that is good.

Linda and I are going to take the dogs to the doggie event at the Raitt Farm this weekend.  They are having a big event to promote adoption and support for the local shelters.  Ought to be fun and interesting.  Food, games, dog stuff, dog fun events, etc.  I’m looking forward to Saturday for this reason!

I’ve been working a little more than usual lately.  It’s really gotten wicked busy at my place of employment.  Like today, we sold TONS of water and ice, seemed that everyone who came in was stocking up on hydration and ice.  We have many customers who are local landscapers and construction workers, so they need to stay hydrated as they are working ou in the heat and sun.  I still enjoy the job, enjoy the people and seeing all the locals on a regular basis.  It’s nice when people come in and know my name, greet me with enthusiasm and make small talk about townie stuff.  Yeah, I don’t foresee leaving there anytime soon.  It’s really a perfect little part time job for me.  Keeps me with a weekly schedule, holds me responsible to others and gives me a little sense of purpose and security.  The money isn’t great, but it’s enough to make a difference in my budget…I would not stay if it weren’t.  I also really like the people that I work with, and that always makes a difference to me.

On the political front…I have been keeping up per my usual habits.  I keep a very close eye on the imbicile in the White House, aka the UGLY ASS ORANGE ONE who is our “fake POTUS”.  I have had to temper my reactions a bit.  I was allowing myself to be negatively affected by the news, and that’s not good. It’s important to have good information and a measured response.  I can’t do anything about the situation on my own, thus I cannot let it eat at me like I was previously allowing.  Staying informed, watching and contacting my representatives every chance I get is how I am staying involved.  I think you will soon see another big march on the White House, especially with things getting a super hot as they are there.  Just in the last 10 days alone things have begun to spiral out of control in the White House.  Trump is feeling the pressure and doesn’t like it one bit.  While he likes attention like no one I have ever previously seen, he is not as fond of “negative attention” – even though it still serves it’s purpose in getting him to the front and center of everyone’s minds.  He would rather be adored than abhorred, but he’ll take whatever he can get at this point, I believe.  It’s AMAZING how he can lie daily to us, and yet there is still a loyal following that actually believe what this asshole is dishing out to them.  They are like hogs slathering at the feed though, sucking up his vile words like they are candy.  Yep, he is quite the con artist for sure. I am just really saddened that so many people have been  bamboozled by his insanity and daily lies.

Ah, it’s 4:21 am and the birds are starting to sing outside.  I have all of the windows and doors open, am sitting her in just my boxer briefs enjoying the coolness of the air upon my skin.  Yep, semi-naked blogging, hahahaha.  I love this time of morning, the peace and quiet, save for the sounds of nature waking up to this new day.  I feel like I can think so much more clearly and without noise pollution and obstruction from outside sources at this time of morning.

I am working at 6am, until probably about 1pm today.  Depending on how busy it gets there, I will stay as long as I am needed.  It’s going to be a bit more normal temperature wise, in the high 70’s, today.  Plus it’s air conditioned at work, so it’s not so bad hanging out there and working instead of being at home fighting the heat at high-noon!  Today is Friday, payday and errand day!  Linda and I will get together after we are done with our work/jobs.  We will go to town (Portsmouth) and take care of our weekly Friday errand lists.  Generally that entails a stop at the grocery store, smoke shop, gas station, Walmart and wherever else we need to go.  It’s become a ritual with us on Fridays now.  We team up in one vehicle as to save gas and wear and tear on our trucks.  We alternate vehicles each week, one week using mine and the next using hers.  I gassed up yesterday evening, so today I am sure we’ll use Linda’s truck so we can gas that one up and do our stuff.

I spent last evening cleaning up my house really good, getting organized for the weekend and so I won’t have any of that stuff to do today!  I like this feeling of accomplishment that comes with having a clean, organized and well maintained household.  I’m so excited for a good weekend, which I totally plan on having, that I even got up earlier than usual this morning.  I was up by about 2:45am, and raring to go!  I went to bed pretty early, so I got plenty of sleep I am sure.

Ok, Happy Friday!  I do sincerely hope that each of your days are good ones!  Everyone have a great weekend, and I may even write more tomorrow, depending upon time and how I am feeling.  Thanks for reading!  Thanks for following!  I sincerely appreciate you, my dear readers!    Peace!  ~MB

 

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A Glimpse into My Life

I know I’ve been writing about a lot of different things lately, like my political rants and things like that, so I thought I would write you all a personal note tonight, to say #1, I am very very appreciative for all of your presence here on my blog.  Thank you for your readership, comments, conversations and support.  It means a lot to me, I mean it.

On more personal notes, I’ve been doing quite well lately.  I’m strong in my recovery and have been attending Groups: Recover Together meetings every Wednesday.  It’s group therapy for opioid addicts, primarily heroin and oxycodone.  We meet weekly, voluntarily are tested for substances abuse, see the doctor once a month and pick up our Suboxone prescriptions.  The Suboxone is a life saver.  I haven’t felt this good about my recovery ever.  The suboxone kills the cravings for the drugs.  Flat out.  It’s a miracle drug in my opinion.  I had previously tried detoxing and maintaining with methadone, but I found that it made me high just like the heroin did and I didn’t want the “high” feeling.  With the suboxone you don’t get that, you just don’t have the craving for the opioid at all.  Don’t know why, but it works the balls!  I highly recommend it as part of your recovery program if you are an addict.

Also, the group therapy piece is important too.  It gives me a place where I can bring up subjects and talk about things that are challenging during this process, with other people who are in similar situations with their addictions; a place where I am not ashamed and can actually be proud of my accomplishments and have someone understand that pride.

Around home things are going really well.  I did run out of heating fuel this weekend, which was unfortunate.  I didn’t want to pay for an emergency weekend delivery so I borrowed two 5 gallon diesel fuel containers from my brother and hauled 20 gallons of diesel over (2 trips to the station) and put it in to burn until I can get 100 gallons of heating oil.  The hardest part was getting the furnace running again.  I had never had to do that before, so I watched a YouTube video on it, tried to bleed the line and get it running myself…no luck.  Several tries later, I conceded my defeat and called my heater technician.  He came by and was here all of 12 minutes, got it going and walked me through the entire procedure so that I can do it myself next time.  I just have to get over to Home Depot and pick up a jumper wire, which will help me to get it going in the future if this ever happens again.  I’m going to be a bit more vigilant now and not let it run out!  I did calculate and figured out that I am burning approximately 50 gallons of fuel mix per month, in the dead of winter, to heat this place.  That’s not bad!  And knowing this will give me a better idea of how to budget for next winter’s oil deliveries.  Live & Learn.

I have been uploading new videos to my YouTube channel.  It’s been a struggle to get back into the swing of doing videos.  Plus, of course, I have changed a little bit in the last couple of years, and the world has changed too.  I’ve gotten older, perhaps a bit wiser, and definitively more comfortable with myself.  It’s fun to go back sometimes and watch the really old videos of my younger, cockier self.  I feel like I am much more conscientious of what I am saying in my videos now.  I am more aware of my own internalized phobias and prejudices to begin with, and I fight to change those.  I never realized that one could have those types of things.  I like to think of myself as open minded and educated, but I had to admit that I, like most every person, also have my baggage and am not perfect in my thought processes.  Like today for instance, I was reading about the Russian people revolting against Putin and the powers that be in Russia where they suffer under his rule.  It occurred to me that while I hate Putin and Russian politics, I am not a hater of the Russian people, and I hope they over throw that demon.  Formerly, I would say I hated Russians…but it’s not exactly that way, it’s more a hating of the authoritarian rule of Russia and a healthy fear of it as well.  Am I making sense?

The first day of Spring was last week, but it still is very cold and wintery here in southern Maine.  I am really looking forward to some warmer weather, sunshine and the greening up of the landscape.  Right now everything is brown and dead looking, with smatterings of snowbanks that haven’t yet melted.  It will be good to see green grass and buds on the trees soon.  I always fight my depression more in the winter too.  Although this winter seemed to be a bit better on that front.  I had my best friend Linda around a lot and she helped me snap out of my moods quite often.  She wouldn’t LET me get sullen and depressed; she would refocus me on doing things to keep myself busy and not give me time to get bored, which often brings on the depression for me.  I really thank my lucky stars that she is there for me.  I’ve even come to depend upon her in many ways, which takes a large amount of trust for me to do.  She’s shown me real friendship, and for that I am grateful.

The dogs, Nola and Lulu, are doing great.  Of course they have been cooped up a lot with the inclement weather of winter too.  I try to get them out of the house any chance I get, taking them with me in the truck whenever possible.  They love to ride in the truck and are just as happy to wait for me in the truck when I get out to go into any place we stop at.  Thankfully they are good dogs, don’t chew or destroy stuff and can be trusted to wait patiently while I get things done.  As the days get warmer we will do more outings like going to the local beaches and parks for walks and outside time.  They also have a nice pen outside of my house that they can safely be outside in during good weather, and to do their business every couple of hours.  That pen is a lifesaver.  I built it right out my back door, so all I have to do is open the door and they can scoot out into their yard, which is like 20′ x 40′ in size.

So, there you have it.  A basic update about me.  No politics.  No deep questions.  Just a little window into my more personal side.  I’m healthy, happy and doing well.  And I hope all of you are too!  Peace!  ~MB

 

Catching up…

The brilliance of this blank blogging page is intimidating.  I haven’t written a single word in what feels like over a month now, and it’s just not like me, and it’s not making me happy at all.  I love to write, and it’s something that if I do it every day it makes my day more complete, more normal.

I have been battling some depression as of late.  And letting every little thing bother me to no end.  It’s funny that when I become depressed everything else seems to magnify in it’s intensity; my irritablness, my inability to focus, my ADD and my shorter fused temper.  I try to be more aware of these things, which keeps me in this hyper vigilant state…not good either.  I just want to relax and feel normal.

Depression is so difficult to describe to someone who doesn’t have it or really understand it.  I have found this out first hand many times.  I don’t like to talk about my own depression, it shames me, it makes me nervous and it feels like I am just crazy sometimes.  Which I assure you, I am not.  Those of you reading this that deal with depression on any level – in yourself or in a close loved one – will understand when I say that sometimes there just isn’t a verbally expressable reason to be given to anyone for why one is depressed.

I’ve heard every “cure” known.  “Just smile and think happy thoughts”  “You can’t be depressed, everyone loves you” “Just snap out of it, and be happy”  Etc. Etc. Etc.  You get the gist I am sure.  It seems so simple until you are mired up to your ears in the feelings of doom, gloom, hopelessness and helplessness that are depression’s evil followers

I even take strong medications to try to control it.  The meds do keep me in check pretty well, but still sometimes I go through a depressive episode anyways. But with the meds they are generally pretty short and tolerable.

this current state I am in has been just a few days, and I have to say it’s really not a “bad” epidsode at all.  I just feel really low, and out of sorts. I have that I am “useless” feeling…but in my rational brain I know this is not true and I know that with some of the meditations that I do, some more outside activity and some personal kindness to myself I will ease out of this spot and be just fine once again.  It just takes a little patience and self-awareness, coupled with a strong will and a refusal to be this way all the time.

I have friends who suffer from some pretty bad serious depression, mine is nothing compared to what others go through I am sure.  I’ve seen my best friend at her utter worst with her untreatable severe depression, and it’s very painful to see from the outside looking in, so I can only imagine what it is really like for her to be living it in her head.

My depression has triggers.  I’m sure most people in the world have triggers of things that will depress them or send them into a bad mood for a few days.  No one is really immune from being depressed, it’s part of the human condition.  It’s just ath some people are more prone to it than others and it’s handled differently by each individual.

One of the triggers of my current pissed off state is that my buddy who lives in the same neighborhood as me has had to move back up to interior Maine quite suddenly.   I didn’t even have time to compute what was going on really before she had to pack up and leave.  It’s not her fault, the situation just came up and she had to make a difficult decision.  It pissed me off because I enjoyed having a friend close by, I enjoyed having someone I could just call up and say “hey, let’s go shopping” or “let’s take the dogs somewhere” at the spur of the moment.  My reaction to her having to move so fast and so far away so suddenly just wasn’t something that I had prepared myself for dealing with.  Generally people get notice of 2-3 months before they are required to move, but when your housing is suddenly in jeopardy of being gone in a matter of days or a couple of weeks it has a serious phychological affect on an individual.

People NEED a place to LIVE…not just a place to sleep at night, but a space in which to live and be comfortable.   I feel really bad because it was me who found the room she was renting, and me who encouraged her to move down closer to southern Maine.  So of course, I feel somewhat responsible. But I did learn some lessons too.  Like never move without a written lease to protect your interests.  Leases are to protect BOTH the leasor and the leasee.

I feel really lucky – thus I should not be depressed right?  Right.  My housing is very secure, but it makes me angry that someone that I care for got shafted out of her housing like she did.  I will not go into details other than to say she was given no warning nor any sort of formal notice by her roommate, just told that she should look for other housing.  When she questioned how long she had his answer was to say he was selling and moving asap and  that could be either in 2 weeks or in 2 months…it was a fucked up situation.  I shall stay out of housing suggestions as much as possible from now on.  I just hope that she can find a good solid, affordable situation for her and Oreo, her cat, as soon as possible.  Currently she’s sleeping on a friend’s couch.  She’ll stay with me this coming weekend, but the couch surfing days are for when you are in your 20’s and much more carefree…not for when we are over 50 and need security in our living space.

Another trigger for me is that I get lonely.  Even though I have a huge family here, and they love me I know.  It’s just lonely living alone and knowing that that will not change.  Waking up every morning exactly the same way, alone, and having coffee in the morning, alone.  Showering, dressing and deciding what the day will be like, alone.  I’m tired of being alone.

I do have a very serious romantic interest, I admit that. She’s very far away though, we are doing the long distance thing and we’ve been doing pretty good with it too.  Thank the universe for the internet, particularly Skype and Viber.  I manage to talk to her every day quite a bit, and we Skype as often as possible.  I love seeing her smiling face on that screen, I just wish I could reach through it and touch her cheek, run my fingers through her hair and brush away those pesky tears when they fall.  I would give anything to be able to see her in person very soon.  I’m really hoping that we can make it happen over the summer sometime.  She is vital to my happiness every day; so important to me.  She’s the reason I smile when I do get up in the morning and immediately check my phone for messages from her.  It’s not easy doing the online long distance thing, but  I wouldn’t give her up for anything.  I just want to continue to find ways to make her smile and laugh and be happy interacting with me, and I want to see us continue to enjoy one another. It’s been like 8 months now and I am just blown away with how entirely into her that I am.  She is the best part of my day; of my life right now.

I have to say that I am finding this writing to be therapeutic tonight.  Perhaps this is what I needed, to get back to my writing and to get back to putting my feelings out there instead of bottling them all up inside where they are driving me nuts and causing some of the depression for sure.

Other things going on here…well, the weather is FINALLY more summer-ish.  It was 83 F today and sunny.   I got some new flowers to plant, I have thus far planted my herb garden, and one of my railing boxes with wave petunias and accent plants.  I have 2 more flats of flowers to disperse to two other railing boxes, plus to mingle into the gardens around the property.  Most of the ones I have to plant are annuals, you plant them once a year, they do not come back the next year like perrenials do.  Much of my bigger gardens around the place are perrenial gardens and they fill right up every year as the plants spread when they come back up.  I just love gardening.  My sweetheart calls me Butch Stewart….cute huh?  I actually needed less annuals this year because the perrenial gardens are doing so well.  But I shall brighten them up with some marigolds, ronoculus and some greenery like coleus plants.  I lost two rose bushes, but the climbing rose is doing well, so I will give it a new trellis this year to grow on.

The new puppy, Lulu Lemondrop…aka Osama Bin FuzzButt, due to her terrorist ways…hahahaah….is doing quite well.  She definitely fit right in and took over.  Nola is very standoffish still, but she tolerates and watches over the little one.  Thus far it’s sort of a love-hate relationship.  Nola takes a while to warm up to anything, but I think she will eventually warm up to Lulu too.  Lu just has to grow and get a little bigger.  Nola does try to play with her occasionally, but Lu only weighs two pounds!!!  So she’s easily mowed over by Nola!  Lulu teases Nola incessantly abou the rawhide bone supply.  She is constantly stealing Nola’s chew bone, which causes quite the panic and cacophony of growls, snarls and barks. This seems to make Lulu somewhat gleeful.  As she races away with whatever she can confiscate.  Nola DOES tease her back with them, putting the bone right under Lulu’s nose and chewing and growling….like “see, it’s MINE…”

My house still looks like a doggie day care center. Not good for my need for organization and neatness!  The pack and play is set up in my living room, and it’s vital because it’s where Lulu sleeps.  She will ask to be put in or taken out of it very politely.  She’s a smart little shit I must say.  She rides in the car quite well, although she prefers for me to hold her across my forearm while I am driving.  So I’m becoming quite proficient at one handed driving.  I have tried to explain to her that she’s going to outgrow this position…but try to tell a 12 week old puppy anything it doesn’t want to hear…it will pretend not to understand you in a heartbeat!  🙂

The dogs both love to go to Dairy Queen for ice cream….it’s their most favorite joint activity and they don’t fight over the ice cream, which is just amazing, and cute to watch.

Ok…I need to get to bed and get some sleep, it’s 11:11PM (AND I just made a wish!!!)  I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weather we are having on the East Coast…and I pray for those in the tornado zones and it makes me sad to see all that damage and devastation on the news.

Sorry that I have been gone for so long and for the rather boring content of this particular entry…but let me get back into the groove. Any suggestions for what you want to hear from me about would be welcome!

Peace!  ~MB

Most Prized Possession

Things we treasure is the topic of the Writing 101 assignment from The Daily Post here on WordPress.  

I’ve wracked my brain for what single item it is that is my most prized possession.  I’ve looked around my house, and thought about what if I were to have a major fire and would lose everything but what I could carry, what would it be that I would juggle out the door on that single trip?  

One answer is quite simple.  My beloved dog Nola. For obvious reasons; like she’s my daily companion, and she loves me as unconditionally as I love her.  Her support to me in times of struggle over the last 6 years that we’ve been together has been enormous.  This Butch has definitely got a very soft heart when it comes to animals! 

I have said before I thought that you could only get one “once in a lifetime” dog in your life, but I was very wrong, as I have had TWO!  Before Nola I had a dog for 17 years named Jock.  He was a Welch Corgi cross with Beagle I believe, and he was the most intelligent, loyal and affectionate dog.  His bravery and loyalty were bar-none the best in a dog I have ever seen.  There were times with him that I had that were just incredible.  At Lake Altus in Oklahoma he would swim into the middle of the lake in search of me as I was out there tubing with my friends in the 30 foot deep water.  He was left at bars, and found his way home, and he was always there for me, right to the bitter end.  I sent Jock over the Rainbow Bridge in 1999, before even my first summer on the farm.  Seventeen years after finding him in a shelter in Lawton Oklahoma when I was stationed there with the US Army.  He was the only dog who did not bark when I entered the enclosures.  That was the dog for me.  He was well groomed, nails trimmed and healthy, so someone in the military probably had to leave him at the shelter for some reason he probably did not even understand.  That first day he jumped right into my Chevy pick up truck and took up his residence next to me for the next seventeen years.  I loved that dog so very  much.  

At the end of his life he could not see or hear very well, and he tried desperately to stay very close to me for security. It was very hard making that final, kind decision to let him go and it gives me chills now to think about it.  But there was a peace in me after it was done, I knew I had done right by that dog.  I adopted him, cared for him, loved him, and fished with him endlessly.  In the end I stayed with him until he was ready to go and let me know it, then I made that hardest of all decisions that a pet owner has promised to make one day.  When you adopt a pet you vow that you will do what is always best for them, and the end decision is done with that in mind.  Yes, he’s probably still waiting on Rainbow Bridge for me along with Susie, the Westie that I had in high school who was also a very devoted dog.  

Yes, Nola is my most prized possession, although I don’t really consider her a “possession” as much as a companion, a cheerleader and a dog that just lives to make me happy.She asks nothing more from me than to be with me constantly, watching over every move that I make.  If I move from one room to another in the house, that dog follows and settles in to a new spot from which she can watch over me.  I am just so lucky to have her and to get another “once in a lifetime” companion dog.  

So, besides the dog what would I save?  I have a teddy bear that I have had since I was a baby, and he’s my most prized material object.  He’s traveled with me around the world and back (much like both my dogs!) and he’s done duty in some harsh climates in the USA and Europe.  When I was stationed in the European theater I played softball for the Army.  It was lucky and very easy duty and I loved it.  Playing ball at that time was my life.  (My shoulders are paying for it today!)  And that bear would accompany our team to every away game, and would sit the bench in the home games.  My grandmother, who I lost when I was 10 years old, had sewn silver metal button eyes on him when his assigned plastic eyes fell off from over-loving.  I drew a paint mouth on him at around the same time.  He has notches cut out of his ears from being “tagged” in recreations of episodes of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, a game and a show that I loved as a child.  All of my stuffed animals had shaved spots for tags on their ears.  Teddy still has his.    He has a voice box at one time, but his tummy is sewn up thanks again to my Nana, and his legs are of different lengths, as are his arms from where the padding wore out.  Teddy is worn and patched; loved and cherished still today.  

Other than Nola and Teddy, I would grab the envelope of important papers out of my dresser draw, my address book and my laptop which is full of vital information and is my lifeline to my writing.  Everything else can be replaced or has no significant value.  Sure there are things like photo books and little significant items, but remember it’s a fire and I have one trip in to gather everything I can carry.  I am counting on Nola running herself out of the door as I follow with the above items.  I would make sure she was out before I would even hold on to the other things.  Sometimes in life it’s not a significant item that is your most treasured, but a significant soul.  I feel that I am responsible for Nola’s soul and because she has given me that privilege I will always protect her first.  

 

Life Update – Youtube Update

Hello!  For those of you who follow my videos online on Youtube:

I am having major camera and computer issues at this time. I will have them corrected this week for sure and will be back strong with a full month of daily videos (Video Every Day for May) as promised in my last video post.  

It seems as if every electronic device in my life is trying to break or go wacky lately.  My phone, the webcam, the computers….but alas, my computer guy is coming out to the house to deal with the computer issue I believe on Friday.  I’ll have the phone fixed tomorrow and the web-cam…well that is still up in the air as of now.  But I will find some way to film and post, don’t worry I am a “fixer” and this too I shall FIX!  

As far as a basic life update…everything is going okay!  I can’t complain at all. The weather in Maine has been absolutely gorgeous for days on end now, in the low 70’s and very very comfortable!  

I even got out and got the lawn all raked, and mowed, the place looks great!  Next comes my flowers and the veggie garden – which I have procured all of the necessary materials to make a nice raised bed garden for free!  Got to love my local friends and connections, seems they have lots of stuff laying around they want to give away to be re-purposed!  I got lumber from the farm and all I will need will be some good growing soil, which I know I can also scam up pretty easily.  I’m really looking forward to growing my own veggies and herbs this year.  It will be my 2nd full summer in this home, and it’s time for a veggie garden!  Gardening, both flowers and veggies, is a passion of mine.  I love the feel of the dirt, and the satisfaction of knowing that I can create with plants to my hearts content. It’s good for the soul.

Nola is doing wonderful. She got over her loneliness for her friend in all of one day. She’s been very very stuck to me, as usual and I’ve been making sure she’s getting plenty of attention and we are doing things like walks to keep her sharp.  I decided against another dog to keep her company, just because I cannot afford the vet bills and care!  It’s enough to have one, and she enjoys being an “only child” I believe.  Hell, she gets 100% of my attention!  

I have 2 events coming up for my photo button booth and bracelets.  Both in June, so June should be a better month.  I love doing the fairs and festivals, and it excites me when the season comes around!  I am hoping to schedule to be at as many of the local events as possible.  

My health is great, meds are doing their job and I am basically happy and healthy.  Yay!  So that’s the wrap on what’s been going on lately.  I do hope that each of you, my dear readers, are doing well also!  Take care and enjoy Spring!  ~MainelyButch

Just Chillin…

Ah, a late late late Saturday night…or wait, it’s actually Sunday morning, in all technical terms according to the clock on the computer here.  Whatever, I am still awake from Saturday…so I consider it late Saturday night, because that’s just what I do…I make up my own fucking rules.  It’s my life, my rules.  

I had a migraine headache from HELL today.  Right behind my eyeballs, and it hurt like the dickens.  Do dickens hurt?  What the hell ARE dickens?  Ends of dicks?  Hmmm…I’m in one of those very weird moods in my head, silly, contemplative and happy.  🙂  Happy sometimes makes me sorta silly.  And Silly definitely always makes me happy.  Yep, hand in hand they go, skipping across the river, good ole Silly and Happy…LMAO…ah to be silly happy is a good thing – at least it is in my world at the moment.  Just dropping the serious side for a while and being completely free to be happy – and silly!!!

Today is my little chiweenie dog, Nola’s, fourth birthday!!! Yes, 4 years old she is!  It’s amazing that I can remember her birthday but not that of PEOPLE in my life sometimes!  She’s been with me since she was 7 weeks old, remember, I found her in New Orleans, Louisianna, in a cardboard box marked “Free Puppy” on July 31, 2008.  The woman who owned her had the parents and had a litter of 4, she was the last one left…just hanging out in that ratty old box waiting for me to show up to bring her home.  At least that is what I believe she was waiting for!!!  Thankfully it was a mere coincidence that Nola and I were brought together 4 years ago.  I was not intending to get a puppy, or a dog for that matter, it just happened – just like those things that are meant to truly BE in our lives do; they just HAPPEN and we open our eyes and our hearts and bring them home, because we know that we are in that moment to change our lives in some small (or large) way and bring those things that are meant to be home to our hearts; into our lives.  

NOLA = New Orleans LouisiAnna.  Born 6-10-08  Breed: ChiWeenie (50% Chihuahua, 50% Mini-Daschund) and PERFECT.  Temperment: Diva Femme, does not care for children or cis-men.  (LOL, it’s true)  Physique:  13 lbs of joy.  Nice shape, not fat, very soft and cuddly!  Devotions:  ME  🙂  and her best dog friend “Moose” or Moofasah as we affectionately call him…a 140 lb chocolate labrador retriever!  

Ah, it’s 2:30 am and I need to get my tired, semi-sick ass into the warm, snuggly bed with Nola.  Wishing someone ELSE was there too!  🙂  But I am patiently waiting for that, and it’s waaay worth it!  😀  More tomorrow morning perhaps!!!