Family, Holidays, life stories

Way back memories..

…turned on the tv tonight and saw k.d. lang was on Maine Public…the Ingenue re-do concert from San Antonio, along with an interview with her…

Here’s the video trailer

And this is her and Melissa Etheridge in 1994…now THIS is the stuff I remember; going to these concerts, raising holy hell…fuck yeah. Of course, when they did this duet I was only 32…damn, to look that young again…My hair was about the same as k.d.’s back then too.  80’s and 90’s memories are pretty intense, and lots of fun for the most part.

This time of year brings up lots of old memories. I see various commercials that remind me of things gone by; of people and the historical events of my past. Some nostalgic moments and some that I’d rather not have in the old memory banks, yet there they linger.

My favorite childhood Christmas memory is from the year my parents gave me and my sister, Deb, a fully set up aquarium with fish and all the fixing! They got it and set it up under the kitchen sink to get it ready for fish, then they got the fish and kept it running under there without us two ever finding out before Christmas morning when they surprised us with the beautiful fish tank. It was like 1967 and we lived in an upstairs apartment of a duplex in Poughkeepsie New York, not far from Vassar Brothers Hospital, where my siblings, the twins, were born in June of ’68.

Memories make up the history of who we were; where we came from and what we experienced in life that led us to be who we are today. Good and bad, they all intertwine to compose each of us as individuals.

What is your favorite childhood Christmas memory?

Peace ~ MB

Family, Holidays, Living in Maine, Photos and videos

I’m In a Festive Mood! Christmas 2017

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Fa La La, La la, la la laaaa….Yes, the Christmas season is in full swing, with Christmas day now only 2 weeks away!  I am completely into it this year, and loving every minute!  I got my tree up early, and have been decorating a little more every day.

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This afternoon I added a pretty silver wire, spiral Christmas card tree, to which I added a string of pretty colored lights!  I have that in the middle of the dining room table now, and it’s already got a few sweet cards on it!  I love getting Christmas cards almost as much as I love making them out and sending them — which will be part of tonight’s activity!

Today Nola and Lulu received a “Bark Box” in the mail.  I found it on the front porch in front of the door when I got home from grocery shopping and getting my haircut.

I always feel terrific after a good haircut!  It wasn’t out of control, but it needed to be tightened up some, and edged out nicely.  I had it done today at Supercuts, by a woman named Cathy.  She did a pretty good job and was very pleasant while doing it.  It wasn’t my favorite barbershop today, but it was fine and I’m pleased.  I really didn’t have time to drive all the way up to the Boston Barber’s barbershop that I usually use, plus it was starting to snow, so I went to the back-up – Supercuts!  They’re priced reasonably, and they also do waxing so I am able to get my eyebrows done at the same time.  That is one service that the barbershop doesn’t offer, that they should!  It’s the only way to keep decent looking eyebrows!

I also picked up a couple of new button down shirts and two new ties today.  I have a couple of Christmas parties coming up and want to look half-way decent for them.  I’ll be going stag of course.  Although, you can’t say I didn’t try, I did ask a woman to accompany me to one of the parties, but it doesn’t look like that will pan out.  She lives a bit of a drive away from me (about 3.5 hr drive), and she’s nervous about coming up.  While I would have really loved to have her company for the party, and perhaps the weekend, I get that it’s a long drive to be around people she doesn’t yet know.

That particular party is at my youngest brother’s house.  It’s generally family and friends of the family, as well as personal friends of him and his wife.  It’s a pretty big party, and we have a massive, rousing game of  Yankee Swap!  I always enjoy the party because it’s a lot of great food, really cool people, and a very festive atmosphere.  Sets the holiday in the right light for me.  I generally will go and stay for about 2 hours, then go and drive around a couple of the local towns to see the Christmas lights, culminating with a ride by the Nubble Light House in York Beach…which is just stunning, as you can see by the photo below.

Nubble Christmas 2017

Next Saturday is the Wreath’s Across America event here in York.  We are laying 1100 wreaths on veteran’s graves at the cemetery in York Maine at 11:30.  I am volunteering, as are many other locals, especially veterans.  It will be an honor for me to participate this year.  I am looking forward to it.  Below is a photo of one of this year’s trucks hauling wreaths through here to other cities south of us….they all originate way, way up in the top of Maine and distribute the wreaths to cemeteries across the country.  It’s a huge undertaking and a wonderful Christmas memorial for our veterans.

(Photo: Beth Delano, Kittery, ME 12/9/17)

Wreaths across America pic

Today, other than getting my haircut, I got my grocery shopping done and gassed up the truck…storm coming, those are things we do before a snowstorm here in New England!  It began to snow around 1pm, just before I got back home with everything.  Tonight, after I get this blog posted, I am going to begin wrapping gifts to put under my tree.  I get small presents for my nieces and nephew, and for my parents and siblings.  I have a really large family, so it’s quite a stretch. I have managed to get imaginative, and I think I have everyone covered.  I’m surprised I have it most all done and it’s only Dec. 9th!

After wrapping I am going to sit down at the kitchen table and make out my Christmas cards for 2017.  I love doing cards, and try to get them out before the 15th.  I’m right on schedule, and barring any unforeseen interruptions I should get them done tonight and into the mail on Monday.  I really love Christmas cards and hope they do not ever become completely obsolete.  It’s fun to get them; and its fun to send them!  If you would like a card from me send me your name and address via email and I will get you on my list!  Deal is you have to send me one in return!  🙂

OH, and I have put myself on restriction from posting anything about politics for the next 30 days…on Facebook at least.  That may not carry over to here, but I am going to try my best to stay away from political upheaval for a bit.  It’s really stressed me out and what’s happening just makes my blood boil.  I need a break from it – hell, we ALL do.  So, I have to do this.  I think it will be a good thing for me!  Too much stress during the holidays makes it less fun, and this is one stressor I can control for now.

Off to wrap and do cards…you all take care and drop me a comment…what’s your favorite parts of Christmas?  Or Hanukkah?  Or whatever winter holiday you celebrate?

Peace.    ~MB



Family, life stories, Living in Maine, Love, recovery, Relationships

My Weekend…good and bad

Greetings!  I want to write but don’t even know where to start…so much has been going on – both in my life and in our US news, as most of you are probably aware!

Personally, things are going very well.  I’m excited for the Christmas holiday season, and entering the New Year.  I’ve got my Christmas tree up; everything is festively decorated and it’s kinda cute.  I did it alone, as I figured would happen, but it was actually okay.  Me and the dogs had a nice day last weekend of decorating and being silly.

I adjusted my work schedule down a few hours.  I felt that I needed that mid-week day off to balance things out a bit.  And to stay good with my health and program.  Work is very accommodating and being that it’s winter here now they were fine with me dropping Wednesdays from my schedule.

Yesterday my bestie and I drove up to Portland, Maine and shopped at the Burlington Coat Factory store there.  We had a terrific time.  The drive was beautiful.  Maine really is a really beautiful state!  The store was incredible.  We don’t have one nearby, thus the drive to Portland.  I managed to get most of the rest of my shopping done, and didn’t break the bank!

The drive up and back gave me and my bestie, who hasn’t  been around much, a lot of good quality time to talk, something we really needed to do.  I’d been feeling a bit neglected and lost without her company lately.  Maybe I wasn’t being realistic, but I was feeling kind of wounded.  She just started a new job, has been working like 60 hours a week and had trouble with her phone for 3 days…so a combination of things came about that put some time between us.  We hashed it out, and everything with us is fine.  I really enjoy the support of having a best friend.  She’s a straight woman, but that hasn’t made any difference in our relationship as friends.  She gets me and I get her.  Both being in recovery, we also understand each other in ways no one else is able.

We even took Nola and Lulu for the drive to Portland.  They loved it.  We made sure to take them out of the truck a couple of times to walk them and let them stretch their stubby little legs.  All they wanted to do was BE with the two of us.  They both adore Linda as much as I do, especially Nola, she’s quite attached to her and sat in her lap the whole ride, while Lulu bounced all around the truck.  From my lap, to LInda’s to the back seat, to my lap again….she LOVES to ride in my lap, or curled up in the crook of my right arm as I drive with my left.

Today I got up and took the dogs for a nice walk.  I had plans to clean house, relax, cook and wrap some gifts to put under the tree.  Shortly after 10am my plans kind of changed.  My cousin called and wanted to hang out at my house.  So, he came over.  Well, it turned out that he needed company – and badly.

Today was the anniversary of the death of his girlfriend of 3 years.  Two years ago today she stood in front of him when he came in his front door and shot herself in the head.  Right in front of him.  He’s so tortured by it still.  He obviously has some serious PTSD and emotional agony from witnessing her take her own life in such a bloody, messy manner – in their apartment.  The poor guy spent some time in the hospital afterwards, of course, trying to cope with it.  But today really set him off…his PTSD was super bad, and he cried, got angry, blamed himself (it was his personal gun she used) and tried to justify his feelings — all at once…I cannot even IMAGINE the agony going on inside that poor young man’s head.  He’s just turned 30…too young to be so screwed up by something like this.

He puts on a valiant show, tries to not let people know it’s getting to him like it is, but today he broke down…and I felt helpless.  I wanted to “fix” it…but of course, I couldn’t.  All I could do was let him know he’s loved, that I love him, and others do and that it’s okay to be sad, angry and confused, it’s fully understandable and no one thinks less of him for feeling these ways.

I get it when people want to end their lives that they will find a way to do it.  But doing it in front of someone, just to fuck up their lives too, is just ultimately CRUEL.  Her family blames him for owning the gun, but I told him she would have found a way with or without the gun if she was really bent on completing the task.  He cannot be held responsible, he treated her excellent and he thought they had a good relationship…he had no clue she would do such a thing – and to do it in front of his face, well….what can I even say?  She didn’t have to do it THAT way.

So, we cooked chili and talked all day.  Many rounds of crying and anger.  I tried to be the cool one in the room, maintaining a loving stance and attitude.  Trying to console the inconsolable.  He left, after he fell asleep in the chair in my living room for about 45 minutes, and went home…I pray he’s alright tonight.  I love the guy, and he’s a good man.

I’m tired now from the day.  Going to go curl up in my soft bed – new sheepy flannel sheets even!  And get myself some rest.  The dogs will cuddle me, and tomorrow will start a new week.

Peace.   !MB


General Blips, life stories, Things Butch-Femme

Sunday Snipets

I am so fucking psyched for the Christmas holiday season this year!  Finally a year where I feel so damned good and things are really looking positive in my life.  I’ve got the world by the proverbial balls right now.  My family is great, the dogs are doing well, my house is in order and I have a new woman in my life. What more can a Butch ask for ?  Sure, I still have my share of hard stuff to deal with, bills and the such, but overall life is sailing along swimmingly!!!

I ordered Ivan Coyote’s new book, A Tomboy Survival Guide, and the Barnes and Noble bookstore emailed and said it’s ready for pick up!  I cannot wait to get it and begin reading the latest works of Ivan. I have all of Ivan’s other books, as a matter of fact I just loaned one to my best friend here.  I’ll have to ask her if she’s reading it yet.

I am looking for more good lesbian books to read and review here and on my YouTube channel.  If you have a recommendation or if you are a writer and want me to read and review your book, please contact me at  Direct email is the best way to reach me.  I tried to email someone who wanted me to read and review a book and I evidently have the wrong email because when I sent it to the email she indicated in her comment it bounced back as undeliverable.  I WISH that WordPress would add an email account to our pages, that way a reader would not even have to leave the page to email a writer directly.  I do know if I would upgrade to a full website for my blog, which is hosted by WordPress too, that I would have that in the webpage package….so perhaps I will soon do that.  I need to register my web name and invest a few dollars into it I guess.  Perhaps I will seriously consider doing this, it only makes sense.

On the note of doing reviews, I am particularly fond of books about the Butch-femme dichotomy and lifestyle.  Since I am Butch and I tend to date femmes this only makes sense.  But I am also interested in books dealing with sexual identity, Butch and Trans issues and stories.  I blur the gender lines so much that I am often asked if I identify as Trans.  I do identify as Trans-masculine, but not as Trans-gender.  I’ve struggled with my identity for most of my life, and there was a time when I may have questioned my gender, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I am fine being female bodied, as long as I can do it in a masculine way!  I’m definitely the definition of Butch, by stereotype, and that just fits me perfectly.

As far as me writing a book, as I have been told I need to do by so many people, that’s a thought that is definitely in my head. I would love to write a book of short stories of my life experiences and adventures.  I just need to get lined up with a good editor who can push me in the right direction.  I have the stories, some even already on paper or in the computer, but I don’t know how to write a book, or how to put one together for publication.  All things that a good editor would know and would be able to guide me to do.  I suppose I should start looking around and querying as to who I should contact and with which publishing company I should be trying to work with to do a book.  Hmm….2017 is going to be a very big year I think!

Alrighty then, I am off to work on another blog.  What have you read that you think I would like to read?  I’m seriously looking for suggestions!!!  Peace!  ~MB