These are MY Opinions

I have been vlogging on Youtube since March of 2009, and have done well over 700 videos in total, most about my life, my experience and my views on various topics ranging from politics, to local news to LGBT issues and lifestyles.  I have also been blogging in written word for even more years here on WordPress and on other blog sites over the years (although now it’s only here on WP which I totally love and prefer over all others).  I’ve seen all the types of hate and disagreement possible from both venues.  I’ve watched the drama unfold on Facebook as well.  Internet bullshit is just that – bullshit.  I tend to just over-look it and move on with my own stuff.  I do what I want, when I want, for whatever reason I want.  Period.  I do that in real life as well, I walk my own walk and as no one’s permission or approval in doing so.  If you happen to be a reader or Youtube viewer, then you know I have a strong personality and I speak my mind fairly freely.  I tend to pull no punches, I don’t strive to aggravate anyone (ok, maybe Republicans on occasion! LOL)  or fight with anyone regarding any issue.  I will gladly have a civilized debate if necessary.  But mostly I just put my writing and videos out there, and I read the comments, occasionally I even change my opinion if another view that I hadn’t considered comes to my attention.  Remember, there are always options to your thoughts, other ways to think, that are just as valid as yours or my own.  I get that and I accept it fully.

I bring this up because I have gotten some backlash and been judged harshly for stating my opinions on some written blogs here on WordPress that I recently wrote about, then I got similar backlash on Youtube after speaking in defense of and about Butch-Femme dynamics after someone else had called the lifestyle “bullshit” in another video on the same venue.  There has been some attempt to get me to engage in a back and forth video battle with this other person, which I am totally not going to do.  I state my opinions, my own personal views and takes on issues and subjects that interest me.  I don’t feel that I should necessarily be “judged” for putting out my own opinions, thoughts and views on any subject – whether those thoughts were perpetuated by another, or they are merely my reaction to something I encounter in daily life or online.  I have all of the same rights to voice my opinions and experiences and to draw my own personal conclusions – based upon what I know from my own experiences – as anyone else in this country has.  No one has the right to say another is wrong to make their voices heard – especially on a free and open platform such as WordPress or Youtube. 

The beauty of these platforms and of our society is that it’s a free world.  You are free to watch or read whatever you choose – or not read what you do not want to read/watch.  It’s simple, if my opinions fly in the face of your reality then don’t listen to me, don’t watch me and don’t write and call me names because I will not engage in your fight.  And if it’s not “your” fight, and you don’t have the guts to even put up a profile photo or a video of your own, yet you feel strong enough to call me names, then shame on you…who are you hiding from besides yourself?  I don’t watch what I don’t care for.  And sometimes I even start to watch someone and then dislike the video and don’t even finish watching it, especially if it’s very negative in content.  Why would I want to even watch people who are negative and condenscending in nature to begin with?  It’s a waste of my time, my energy and the power supply of my computer in all reality for me. 

I speak aobut life from MY own Butch Perspective, based upon what I see, read, and experience in my own life.  I need no ones permission to do this.  Nor do I require or need anyone’s approval of any kind.

I appreciate constructive conversation and I value criticism when it’s applied correctly and respectfully.  I thank all of my loyal readers and followers and I value their opinions as well.  I want to thank the many, many who wrote me dozens of notes and sent tons of messages of support after my recent Butchphobia blog on WordPress, and my following video on Youtube.  It’s because of YOU that I still do this stuff, that I am fearless to put my perspectives out there – no matter what the controversy.  I appreciate the open mindedness of my audience, the interaction with good people, and the honest conversations that we have – even when they do not match my own opinions. 

Everyone has their haters, those who wish to detract from the messages and those who will bring hateful, negative and bashing comments to one’s pages.  I am not immune to that kind of person any more than anyone else who puts themselves out there honestly on line would be.  There’s always someone who will try to pick a fight, cause you discomfort, shame and try to get you to retract your words.   I handle it like most everything else – let it roll off my shoulders and fall away .  I will not be silenced because someone out there doesn’t care for my words, opinions or views on any topic.  I also will not engage in bad arguments, name calling or verbal bashing of another’s opinion either.

It’s just not something I want or will do.

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Butch-phobia….my personal rant

I was directed to a blog last night that stunned the crap out of me with its anti-Butch/Femme/Trans overtones and direct, blatant lies and misconception.  It infuriates me that this far into the fight for equality across the board the we are still belittling and ridiculing each other right her within the LGBT alphabet soup community, and with such harshness and berating that it’s unbelievable.

When I see a snake in the garden I am one to confront it and deal with it, rather than let it slither at me and try to scare my ass.  And while there are many “snakes in our gardens” so to speak, the ones that are particularly venomous are those who are spouting phobic bullshit.  If you are phobic about something and do not understand it or haven’t experienced it yourself, so you are afraid of it and thus feel you need to belittle or shame it away somehow, I think you are just so full of your own internalized homophobia and woman-phobic bullshit. 

Short of going on a full out ranting rampage here I am going to choose a few sentences of the bullshit blog I read and share them with you. 

“…how the Butch and Femme identities are two sides of the same gender coin that limits the full potential of who a woman can be.”    What does this fucking mean?  That because I identify as Butch and walk that walk in my own life that I cannot possibly live up to my “potential”?  WTF? 

This person also seems to think, from what I understand, that somehow being Butch is a lead in to becoming an FtM trans person.  Yes, perhaps I walk a thin, thin line in this aspect, but let it be known that I am NOT trans, and I AM a lesbian.  A woman loving woman.  I respect and admire my brave trans friends to the nth degree.  Their walk is so like my own, at times very lonely, scary, and confusing I am sure.  And to be continually fighting against the Butch/Transphobia we both face from within the Lesbian community, it is just ludicrous. 

I am Butch no matter how you dress me up.  As another blogger coined I am “clockable” regardless of what I wear or don’t wear.  It’s like lipstick on a pig to put me in a dress, and it fools no one.  I’m straight up Butch and damned proud, and damned sure not going to try to twist it or change it for some other fool who thinks it’s not “feminine” enough, that I am “aggressive and inappropriate” in my appearance or presentation to the world.  Fuck that.  I never ever felt very feminine and it’s stupid to say that that makes me less of a woman, when it’s just MY way of being the Butch woman that I am. 

Shame me all you want, I am not accepting YOUR shame.  I will not be shamed into changing the core of who my being IS in this world.  Accuse me of “playing a role”, but understand if you can that I am NOT playing a role, but I am just being myself, plain and simple.  It’s sad that people cannot just be who they are in today’s world without causing someone else to start throwing therapeutic assumptions at them that they are suppressing some inner battle and that’s causing them to “act out” in the way that they present to the world.  Utter bullshit in my opinion.

I have experienced oppression as a woman, as a Butch, because I am not feminine enough, woman enough, too masculine, “other” and more.  I am a gender non-conformist, and it seems that some Lesbian people just seem to hate that idea!  Like they expect us to all shout at the tops of our lungs that “we are woman” but yet not be too “Femme” or too “Butch” as to make them look twice. They would rather have everyone fit more into a “neutral” kind of box where we could all be some sort of touchy-feely kinds of Lesbians with woman attributes that were apparent, but not overly so. 

I’m not some college educated left wing Feminist.  To the contrary, I often am confused by radical Feminism and all its negative connotations on our lives.  Seems like it’s that we want to be treated equally – but separately somehow, and that’s not exactly equal if you ask me. 

Who I love, whether it be a more Femme woman, another Butch or someone who doesn’t fall into an identifying group, is none of anyone’s business.  And it doesn’t matter, I am still a card carrying Lesbian no matter what.  I am romantically attracted to women and only women.   I have many male friends and respect them as they do me. 

What we directly experience and see in life is what matters to us as human beings.  It’s how we navigate our way through our often complicated, complex and dynamic lives.  People choose the facts that relate to what they already believe.  Human engagement isn’t about facts, but about our experiences and our relationships to each other.  And yes, these relationships take on all forms, we take on all types of personalities and personas, that make us comfortable in our own skin.  No one can take your core values and your core being away from you, and no on should every shame another for being who they ARE in this world.  Walk your walk.  Butch or Femme or something else, just be proud and walk tall.