Trust is something that is huge with me. Honesty is the most redeeming quality a person can have in my opinion. I seriously dislike dealing with sly or dishonest people. Sly is even more aggravating than outwardly dishonest actually. It’s one of the things that I notice when I get interested in women. If they come off as sly or devious in anyway, you bet your ass I am going to be looking for that. They’re the types that won’t give you a straight answer, who gloss over questions and avoid what they don’t wish for you to know.
I realize that I am having a huge issue with trust in my life right now. It’s conditioning. Many months of conditioning. For some reason I think that if someone wants me to know something about them, if they want to share their life’s goings ons with me then they will offer up the information freely to me – perhaps because they trust me and want me to know. Maybe this isn’t the best way to go about things. Perhaps I need to be questioning more things and waiting for answers instead of just being good without the answer at that moment.
I tend to be very automatically trusting…I’m a trustworthy person myself. I guess I expect that some trust with my friends and lovers.
*Note: I am in a bit of a writing rut at the moment. I have ended the online relationship that I was involved in for the last 10 months, and it hurts. I’m working my way through it emotion by emotion. I cared too much and I should have known better that there was really not future in the situation, or not one for me anyway. I could not be contented with it the way it was. It’s not a bad thing, everyone needed to do what was best for them, and this is the best thing for me. I want to meet a woman here in the states that wants to have a solid relationship that has a future. And it will happen I am sure. 🙂
