Men choosing for women?

Why are the prominent Republican men of this country suddenly riveted on women’s health, reproductive choices, and birth control?  It’s a very scary dynamic that is unfolding.  It’s like they have dropped back in time to a place where they think that only men can make the decisions about what women do with their bodies.  They’ve even gone as far as to decide that they know best what constitutes “legitimate rape” and what is not rape.  Personally I do not believe that MEN should have anything to do with making decisions about women’s bodies, and what they choose to do with those bodies.  Especially when it comes to reproduction, pro-creation, birth control and rape.   What is to stop men from deciding that if the MAN wants to have sex and makes the woman comply with his wishes – even if she doesn’t want to and says no – that is is NOT considered to be rape?  Hell, they could make the decision that there is no such thing as “rape” and put every woman in America in grave danger of being sexually assaulted, exploited and degraded to 2nd class citizens once again.  

WHY are men even allowed into discussions of women’s body issues and rights?  Why do they feel compelled to TELL or ORDER women about what they can and cannot do with their own bodies?  Who is governing men’s bodies?  Talk about taking Viagra off the market and men would FREAK out…guaranteed.  I don’t see a coalition of women coming together to govern men’s body rights.  Why are women under this kind of assault in this – supposedly 1st world – country???  Do they not trust that by being women that women cannot possibly govern their own bodies and reproductive choices?  They want to take those choices away, to force women to procreate because men want them to, period.  I hope that Karma gets them all, if they make governing women’s bodies an issue I hope every woman in America withholds sex from every man in America as a retaliation.  It’s the “just” thing to do.  



I spent today re-buying paint and then tackling painting my whole eat-in kitchen.  And I got the job done, double coated and all.  Hell, I think the clean up phase – which seemed to last forever – was harder than the actual painting.  It seems that to do something to make things look nicer, you first have to tear down the existing and make a big mess doing it, to achieve the end result of things coming together….hell, all of LIFE is like that too.  

Building my stamina back up to where I can and do work hard all day long – such as taking on the painting project today has taken me some time.  I previously didn’t have this kind of energy or ability to stay at a project as long as the whole day because of health issues, but I’ve made a great come back to being me again, and man, it feels fucking great.  Now I just need to rest up a day or so, let my muscles recover from today and I will attack the living room and get it painted before the weekend.  🙂

Yankee Ingenuity

I couldn’t sleep last night.  So much on my mind….like the paint that I bought and hated the colors…ugh…so I am having to ditch these two gallons and get more – but going to get sample sizes first, to make damned sure I like the color before I have them mix the gallon.  You know why they look different at home?  In Home Depot the lights are all the big, brightest possible flourescent type of fixtures, but at home we all use incandescent lighting…viola…color changes.  Someone told me today to take the color swatch over to the lighting department, right next to paints on the Home Depot store map, and look at them under the sample incandescent lights in that department —smart ass.  I should have known that…and yeah, it was a Femme who told me to do it…how does she know??? Oh, she works at HD!  LOL

And the big thing on my mind was that my laptops, both of which were older and becoming jammed up with info, pictures and videos both decided to crap out last night.  I can live without a lot of things, but I have grown quite attached to my computer!  I enjoy my online stuff, my blogging, vlogging, social networks and just cruising interesting sites such as, eh go figure!  I am an eBay and Amazon addict as well.  So both crapped, yup, dead.  

I fretted and frowned all night. Where would I get the cash for a new computer??? I wracked my brain of where I could borrow the cash and how I would arrange to pay it back, and to whom!  Then it hit me at 4am…Yankee ingenuity.  In the shed I had stored a bunch of heavy construction tools, such as a 20 lb worm drive Skilsaw, and a full Dremel set (un-used, although owned for 10 years), and other stuff that I wasn’t using and just didn’t really need to hold onto because the chance of me EVER needing those tools again is pretty damned slim.  

I got dressed at about 8am after several cups of coffee and a scouring of my house for other things I wasn’t needing or using – turned up a pair of nice speakers that were just stuffed in the closet, and a couple of unused cell phones, and a camera that I didn’t need.  Pulled it altogether, went out and loaded the tools into the truck and off I went…to visit my friend at the Hawk Shop.  Yes, that is that actual name of the shop!  

As he totaled up what he would give me to sell the items to him I spotted his line up of nice laptop computers along the far wall.  As I walked toward it a beautiful Toshiba Satellite caught my eye…heyyyyy…6 GB Ram and 750 GB hard drive….15.6″ screen…niiiice….I turned to him, with the laptop in my hands now, and said “hey, let’s just trade, dead up even.”  This is exactly why I was dumping these unneeded items, so why not just save a few dollars (of buying a brand new one, plus the hassle of waiting a week for delivery) and trade my tools for this beautiful, perfect machine that I NEEDED.

He hemmed and hawed for a few minutes, no he would give me $265 for the tools, but the computer he wanted $300 for.  He really didn’t want to budge on it.  I put it back and said “oh well, I’ll just go buy a new one for $88 more, makes sense.”  Then he changed his tune, and we haggled and ended up coming to an even-up trade tools for computer. Yay!!! I was thrilled and left happily with my new found friend.  

Moral of my story, never give up.  Where there is a will there is a way to get something done.  And if you think you can get it, you will get it.  It’s almost like I used the law of attraction in many ways. That and some plain ole natural Yankee ingenuity and smart thinking about how to get what I needed with what I had on hand to work with to get the job done.

So, I sit here tonight tapping away writing this blog on my new buddy “Shiba”…she’s sleek and fast, just my style!  (*Happy Dance* inserted here.)



So my new beef with the world is the packaging of food stuff for consumption by a single individual or a household of maybe two people.  It’s just NOT happening!  I am constantly chucking food into the trash can because I just cannot eat it fast enough to get through the family sized packaging before either the expiration date or the food goes just plain bad.  

I know the food industry works on a 300 to 500% mark up, and packaging sells product.They just don’t care to market directly to the growing number of smaller households in America, or what?  I would love to purchase everything in smaller, more manageable amounts for my single person household.  Oh don’t forget the dog, she gets the leftovers!

Everything from salad dressing, typically sold in 16 ounce bottles, to loafs of wheat bread, generally 22 ounces (1 lb, 6 oz.) could be drastically reduced in size, thus giving the product much more appeal to an untapped and growing market, of 1-2 person households, across America.  If I can find little jars of pickles, relish and mustard, I should be able to find smaller packages of virtually EVERY grocery product going!   Although, there is no need to downsize Devil Dogs, 8 in a package isn’t really enough anyway!

Bread stuffs are the biggest pet-peeve in my book.  Why can’t they come up with like a 1/3 sized loaf of bread?  And how about 4 hot dog rolls in a smaller package? And the same goes for hamburger rolls!  Then comes hotdogs and prepackaged meats.  If you can make a package of 8 hot dogs, you can certainly make a package of 4 of them!  And the same goes with good packaged meats, make some smaller amounts!!!  I only want 1-2 sandwiches of the same kind in a week, not 12-14!

So, if I can buy my strap-on cocks in 143 different sizes, shapes and colors I certainly should have more options in size and quantity at the freaking grocery store!  Yeah, I said it.

Our Social Media Friendships

Every once in a while I hear people speak of someone irritating them or even “stalking” them via or because of the internet and one of our many and varied online social media outlets, such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Youtube…just to name a few of the top venues.

Trolls.  Yes, people who decide they have some weird need to become part of your life. Whether to just give your their biased opinon, tell you their problems or just become a harrassing pain in your ass.

Personally, I have always been a pretty outgoing and interactive person.  I tend to get along with just about everybody and anybody at least to a cordial degree.  I do not like being “mean” or “dismissive” of other people and dislike it when it’s done to me.  I like to treat people with due respect, courtesy and kindness, understanding that if I don’t know them, then I don’t know the path that has lead them to appear in my life  And because I don’t really know them, I have no reason to judge them, until they provide me with one – which I like to not happen.  I enjoy people; I love good conversation, the sharing of ideas and experiences. I enjoy learning new things, learning about how and why others do what they do, or walk the path they walk today – like what happened during their journey that brought them to this point; to the identity and life that they inhabit and incorporated today into every little thing that they do, from the way they cock their head and laugh out of on e side of their mouths, to what causes them to harbor different feelings, such as hate, self-consciousness, love, and what might happen to them that may change the way they view things down the road of life. Because as we all know, the only things that are guaranteed are death and change…both happen, and if you think too hard about it you realize that you are dying the moment you are born, and that change is something that is continuously happening – from moment to moment – every single breath you take changes some minute particle of you.   And as you get older, the changes come more rapidly, some inspired directly by your will and wishes, and some come out of the blue just WHAM…change.  Radical as it sounds in words it’s true as the sky is blue.  (hehe, the poet in me sneaks out periodically).

People are just sooo interesting!  Think about it.  A glob of hydrogen, oxygen, and a slew of other chemical stuff all strung together and POOF you have living, breathing, thinking human being.  Okay, so maybe it’s a little more technical than that, but you get the idea I am driving at.  We are a miraculous species, at the very least.  There is no other life form existing on this planet quite like the human being. (Good thing, because we would probably (sadly) kill it.)  This blog is so random – I just felt like writing about this tonight.   I am just pondering these thoughts, because it bothers me that I have a sort of internet inspired troll that has semi-invaded my space.  An uninvited guest – of sorts, that has decided that I personally needed to know their personal business and affairs and then – when I whole-heartedly disagreed with a very biased statement that the person (un-named and un-sexed) made to me via a cellular phone text message – this person turned nasty at me,  just for sticking up for myself and my friends who were affronted in the ridiculous, hateful statement.  So I made an internet enemy, of sorts, without ever even “meeting” the person!  Amazing the way that technology takes over EVERYTHING today!  I never erased any of the messages, so I have a complete ongoing kind of log of the entire rant on my cell phone!  I know, I should erase it, but I will back it up to the computer just as a reminder of how people can invade your space, univited, anytime that they wish via today’s ever-advancing technology and expertise.

Now, I have met and made some very, very cool people because of social media venues as well.  And they far outnumber this one particular invader by hundreds.  I have made some specifically close friends, had some romantic trysts and even found true love once via the internet.  I am in no way against this very fun activity of social interaction in these coffee shops of the 21st century!  In the 80’s we had the club scene, and if you were cool you were a club kid and that’s how you met people.  In the 2000’s we’ve moved beyond the physical realm of shaking hands and head nods,  to friending people on Facebook and subscribing to their channels on Youtube.  Viewing their photos in Photobucket and Tumblr, staying intimately connected on a moment by moment basis by Twitter and it goes on and on…I am sure as you think about this in relation to your own experience you will see exactly what I mean.  And I am willing to place a hefty wager on knowing that you have also made friends via one or more of the above mentioned avenues – am I correct?  Yes, you know I am.

Yes, I love my Facebook friends, and my Youtube viewers alike.  I have built a kind of “personality” online, with my video making and goofiness.  It’s pretty darned obvious that I am a people person; that I like to chat and entertain anyone who will listen, look and interact with me.  I try to avoid any kind of drama, hatefulness, bigotry and just plain rude people online – and in real face-to-face, everyday, life too!  It’s just a downer and doesn’t need to be part of anyone’s life.  So I avoid it like the plague.  (Cliche’! lol)

I super enjoy when I get to face-to-face meet one of my Facebook friends or Youtube viewers, whom I have befriended to the point of really wanting to meet them, sit and have coffee and put a good start on a possibly great new friendship. I have had the opportunity several times, and have even found love and romance via online avenues.  Yes, in truth I do love our new world of social media.  I just try to be safe and to keep it real. I never try to be anyone I am not, and I never want to be seen as portraying myself in an un-clear light at all.  I’m honest to a fault, and I will stay that way, it’s just my way!

So, in ending this long post of insanity, lol, let’s just say that I am in hopes that this troll I seem to have acquired will fade into the black.  Just go away. I don’t want to be mean or nasty back, and will avoid it if possible. But i will also stand up for myself and protect myself to whatever degree I deem necessary at any given moment.  I don’t mean a physical ass whoopin, but I’ll take steps to keep myself troll-free and continue to maintain my online presence without threat.

Thanks for reading!  Rock on!!!

Zest for Life!

Wow.  It’s amazing what modern medicine can do; and what a difference it can make!  I re-started my anti-depressant meds (Cymbalta and Abilify) about 2 weeks ago now and the difference in me is nothing short of amazing.  My energy level has bounced back to normal, and my entire attitude has flipped from bleak to enthusiastic again!  I am so freaking happy about this I could dance!

It’s taken a lot of work and energy to get back to being happy again.  The meds were just the final addition, the final move back to feeling normal and not useless.  I know some don’t like modern medical fixes, but I am rolling hard with this one – it’s exactly what I needed.  I had been on these before, but decided (somehow with my wrong brain) that I didn’t “need” them anymore, so I quit taking them about 18 months ago.  And the rest is history…I spiral down to a level of depression and hopelessness that I hadn’t experienced ever before in my life.  My temper grew shorter, my tolerance lowered considerably and I just wasn’t happy with anything.

After meeting with my doctor to finalize my getting completely off all of my pain medications permenently and finding other pain relief avenues, we discussed my stress, depression and overall declining mental health.  After much discussion we decided together to make the jump back to the medications and I am now SO freaking glad that we did!  I was unsure at first.  Questioning if it would “really” make a difference. But I now wake up happy as hell and looking forward to each day!  Wow!  What a 360 degree change!  Hell, I even LIKE myself now!  Even my pain has become manageable.  Cymbalta does have a component that helps with chronic pain, and with ibuprophen and my heating pad I am managing quite nicely without any other pain medications.  I am going to pursue help with it via the Pain Clinic as well, after I undergo a full set of new MRI films later today.  I will find ways to deal with this in a much better, and healthier manner from here on out.  Chronic pain sucks, but I can live with it – as long as it doesn’t impede my enthusiasm for living and life in general.  Of course, a new exercise routine is also being added to my regimen to help strengthen the muscles around the affected discs and help support them a bit more.

I am setting up my button booth at the Eliot Festival this weekend.  I’m really looking forward to just being there for the day; for the excitement of the little town fair and seeing all the people – many of who I will probably know.  Its cool being from a small town area, you grow up around these families and it’s just a much more quaint and tight kind of community feel.  Everyone cares so much for their friends and neighbors, unlike many parts of the country where the hustle and bustle of busier lifestyles and community conditions prevents that small town closeness.

Next weekend I will set up the booth at the Berwick Dog Park during their fund raising event. That will be a blast also.  Taking photos of dogs and owner always makes me smile and I just love meeting the dogs and their owners.  Yes, all of this gets me back out into the public realm and back to making new friends, meeting people I haven’t seen in a long time and just plain old socializing – something I’ve always been great at but have lacked lately.  I’ve always been a very social type person, but the depression made me more reclusive and I would hide from the world most of the time.  I love that I am feeling so much better and am feeling far, far more social now.  I even went to my father’s birthday gathering last night with my family and I was probably the happiest I have been around them in over a year.  We had a lot of fun!

With this new attitude and having gotten back to being more of my happy self again I am also hoping to find more romance in my life.  And I don’t mean flirty stuff, I mean I hope to find love again.  But without the depression looming over my head I am also much, much more comfortable with being alone. It’s not so bad, because now I can just jump into the truck and go visit when I am lonely – AND I now have the energy and drive to DO SO.  It was always hard when someone would suggest I get out of the house and go visit…they just did not understand that I didn’t have the energy – or the social desire – to get my ass out of the house.  Depression is often very misunderstood. It’s such an invisible condition, but it’s very real, and it’s very devastating to one who suffers with it on a daily basis.  I try to understand that others don’t usually “get it” and that it’s easier for them to think one is “lazy” rather than to see that they have a mis-fire in their brain that is causing the symptoms that look like laziness to others, but feel like hopelessness to the one suffering.

Anyway, in closing here, I appreciate all of the support I have received from everyone in my life.  I realize I have put some distance into some of my relationships, and I hope to close those gaps once again in the near future.  My family has been wonderful during this very difficult and trying last year of my life.  Without them I am sure I would not be where I am today – feeling loved and supported is so very vital to one’s over all happiness in general.  It just is.  Without the encouragement and support I may not have chosen to do all, or that I have done, to get by this by myself.  So, thank you from the bottom of my heart my supportive friends and relatives, you are truly loved by me – each and every day!

And as usual – ROCK ON!!!!