This is so awesome! Jesse hit it right on the nose with this blog.

Butch Ramblings

There comes a time in our lives where, if we are lucky, we question ourselves; question our own motives and our reasons for existence. This doesn’t mean that we are jaded, and if we we think of ourselves in such a way then maybe it is actually a good thing? If we don’t question these things, then I would humbly suggest that we are not truly living. Knowing one’s place in the world is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of life, yet it probably doesn’t have to be.

Perhaps it is from the wisdom of age that I have come to realize that life is not an appointment, nor is it a goal? Life is not an “achievement” or any one specific event. Life is a process of learning that is ever continuous and evolving. There is no perfect life, for perfection is subjective. What is right for one may…

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An excellent blog about Butch passing and visibility. I can relate very much to all of the points made here.

Buzz Cuts and Bustiers

Bren: Hey Maddie! Wanna hear about a funny thing that happened to me the other day?
Maddie: ONLY IF IT WAS ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM. Sorry, kidding! Go.
Bren: Heh! It was actually at Dunkies (what us cool New Englanders call Dunkin Donuts). I was in line, but it was a slightly unorganized line and it wasn’t clear who was next. The lady behind me said to the cashier, “He was next.” I was standing there for like a full minute before I realized she meant me!
Maddie: MISTAKEN GENDER IDENTITY! What did you do, Bren?
Bren: Um, well, I ordered my frozen hot chocolate, paid for it, and left.
Maddie: Are there feelings involved? Were there feelings involved?
Bren: Well, I mean, it’s not exactly uncommon for me to be mistaken for a dude. I get “Sir’ed” with some frequency.
Maddie: Well, do you ever correct…

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Getting Ahead – “Mad at the world?”

This is the first in a series of blogs I will do about this.  It is something that has been on MY mind very much lately and that I need to get down on paper myself.  So I have decided to share it with you, my readers.  I do not share all of my writings, many are posted privately for a variety of personal reason, some have restricted reader lists, and some are just for my own eyes.  But THIS is something that I think I can share, that I have been faced with, that may make you ponder how you can always be improving your own “circumstance” and making the world – YOUR world – a better, happier, more fulfilling place for you to BE every day from here on out.  Happy reading!  

 

Mad at the World…

I have known (and know) people who are mad at the world.  You hear it in every word that they speak.  They are angry that they “are where they are” in life; dissatisfied with the position they have found themselves seemingly “locked” into by lineage, economics, geography, faith, society, etc.  These people are becoming more and more evident to me as I listen, and I feel for them.  They simply do not know how to unwind themselves from the May pole they have twisted themselves onto.  

I have had to fight and fight very very hard to not be one of those people.  It’s an easy place to wind up; to just stop and let the world dictate to you what you will and will not do, or be able to do, or achieve for yourself.  I did stop for a while, and it just made my insides all thick and made it hard to breathe, to move and to motivate myself at all.  Then I realized I was being sucked into this vast canyon of self-pity and despair and I, too, was becoming one of those who are “mad at the world”, blaming my entire life on something called “circumstance out of my control”.  That does not really exist. Only in our imaginations are “circumstances out of our control”.  It’s an easy way of saying “This is too hard and I cannot do it, thus it must be out of my control to change this ______(insert circumstance) by myself, so I must just suffer with it and live with it, until _______(insert imaginary cure) happens for me”

I have done this too.  Everyone probably has at some point or another.  But you cannot let yourself do this forever, or you will truly be a victim of your own circumstance!  People were born to grow, to change, and they are meant to get up every morning and go out and keep trying to make their own lives and the lives of those around them better in some small way.  And eventually all of those small days, small ways; all of the subtle little things they do as they work to change things for the better, add up…and suddenly they are standing in a place that IS better and they don’t even realize it until they think very deeply about what they have done.  It may not have been moving mountains, but perhaps it was helping a little old lady across a busy street, or helping the guy at the hardware store find that part to fix his wife’s washing machine so she would stop pestering him to do so – his life just got better with the discovery that YOU could help him!  And your life got better because your heart beat a happy beat that you had helped someone, eased their burden, and that in turn will come back to you – in the form of happiness, one tiny ray at a time, until your world is filled with these forward moving, happy moments.  

Do not be “mad at the world”.  Do not wake up and say “ugh, another day in this dump”.  Do not go to a job you hate, just to make a paycheck…go because you are building skills to move your world forward to the next job that will be that much BETTER.

Use your brain to change the way you think about this, change your thoughts and you can change your life.  It’s a proven fact.  Einstein did not think up the theory of relativity in one session…he worked a little bit at a time, in every thing he did, from putting his socks on to calculating on a blackboard, every day he moved a little bit closer until he felt the sunshine of success on his face and he UNDERSTOOD!  THAT was his goal; his success in life. Just simplify and do the little things every day that make your life better, that make you a better person, and that make the world better.  

If your goal is to change the way you live then start right now.  What is the first thing that needs to happen, that you need to MAKE happen to start your journey?  Put you socks on.

Dress yourself for your success.  I know it sounds far too simple, but bear with me and I know you will understand.  Look in the mirror and take a quick personal inventory of what you see.  Are you the best you that you can be today? Do you look the best you can look for your day? (I do not mean wear your church clothes to work either…be real).  If you look good then you will know that you also FEEL better, right?  It’s always nice to catch a glimpse of ourselves in a mirror or department store window and think “wow, I look pretty darned good!”  How you look and feel about how you look each day when you walk out the door of your home is the place to start making the change in your life that you so desire – and will have – if you work at it.  

Sounds too simple?  Trust me, try it. I guarantee you will notice a difference.  If not I will give you all of your words back! 🙂    …more coming soon.  ~MB

 

This is from one of my favorite bloggers…I will probably write a similar rebuttal to this…enjoy!!

A Femme in NYC

Some of the stupidest things that butches have done for/to my friends and me:

–      Chasing a femme for weeks to take her out on a date only to not look at her in the eye or ask a single question the night they finally go out.

–      Asking a femme out for all the wrong reasons – the biggest one being not wanting to be alone. Yes, it’s not a definite science but generally speaking femmes can sense when someone is using us or somehow settling for less. Don’t waste our time.

–      Refusing to see that there is no chemistry and begging for another date.

–      Expecting to get sex according to their own mental calendars and flipping out when the femmes say they won’t put out.

–      Not putting any thought into their dates. Dinner and a movie doesn’t make the cut if you really want to…

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