OFOS Butch-femme Dynamic

Some I agree with and some I don’t, but is extremely well written and a great piece all around! I enjoy all of this particular bloggers work she has her thumb right on the pulse of the butch femme world.

Loved this blog!!! https://persistentlyfem.wordpress.com/2017/07/04/old-fashioned-old-school/.


Be Part of the Solution: Stand UP, Speak OUT!

Here in the USA the news reporters are talking about the “national anxiety” level most nights, kind of in addition to the weather report.

It’s torture to listen to the daily news now. We suffer not only from high anxiety, but also from Trump fatigue. You cannot escape it. He’s managed to turn our lives upside down.

Many people choose not to watch news because it stresses us out. I completely understand that perspective, but myself, I HAVE to watch. I HAVE to know what the hell is going on so that I am prepared and ready as things get worse – and unfortunately the situation with our current fake President will get worse; he will continue his path of destruction and stoke more and more hate. We must be prepared and we must continue to band together and fight against this corrupt administration and take our country back. It will take decades to heal and repair the damage done, but we must do it regardless of the discomfort and pain we will experience.

My girlfriend asks me what she can do. She’s a super busy woman, raising a special needs child and running her own practice. It’s difficult for her to find the time to take care of everything she must do as it is. So, for her and others who may have little time I am going to lay out a few things they CAN do that will require minimal time and effort, but will make an impact and keep the wheels of Democracy turning for the future of our Republic.

Join (and financially support as you are able) one, or three groups fighting for causes that you believe in. Whether it be voicing your opinion on women’s reproductive rights by supporting your local Planned Parenthood – or one in a state or locality where it is badly needed.

Some you may want to consider are:

Planned Parenthood Action Fund. From the White House to the Supreme Court, our basic rights are at risk. Defend reproductive health and rights wherever they’re under attack. Defending Women’s Rights. Women’s Health & Rights. Act. No Matter What. Fighting Extremist Laws. Types: Birth Control, Health Care Equality, Voting Rights. Link

Human Rights Campaign. The Human Rights Campaign represents a force of more than 3 million members and supporters nationwide. As the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer civil rights organization, HRC envisions a world where LGBTQ people are ensured of their basic equal rights, and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community. Visit them and join at HRC.org

DLCC – Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee We elect local Democrats to statehouses across America.

Stand Up America – a grassroots group of millions of US citizens fighting the Trump agenda that is destroying America. Here’s the link. StandUpAmerica

GLSEN – Supporting youth in the LGBT community. This link will take you to their Safe Space kit,

Planned Parenthood Official Site Planned Parenthood Federation of America is a nonprofit organization that provides sexual health care in the United States and globally.

Democratic National Committee – find your local office and volunteer, write letters, send emails and texts to your representatives. They provide many templates and ideas.

Moms Demand Action working to end gun violence. This is a FAVORITE of mine, dear to my heart. Join this group, please! They are holding “August Recess Rally” around the country on August 18th – in hundreds of cities in all 50 states. They are the strongest anti-gun organization right now. The group started after the Sandyhook murders. Even if you don’t go to their rallies, at least you will know what’s happening with common sense gun reform around the country.

What else can we each do to help our country fight corruption, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia and to make America the safe, loving, receptive space for all of us???

Local elections are important to YOU and government STARTS at the local level.

Get to know your local representatives, Congressmen/women, Sentators, county reps, Mayors, Govenors, and those with political clout in your own state, county and city. Your state, county and town/city NEED you and WANT to hear your voice! If you don’t like how things are done where you live – change it! Become a candidate, join a campaign, volunteer, write and email your reps, get to KNOW their stances/positions on the issues like reproductive rights, gun reform, immigration, jobs, climate change, preservation of our national parks, and corporate welfare programs. Without our voices telling them what we want they are left to their own devices -which is NEVER good!!!

Yard signs, bumper stickers, posters in the workplace, etc. are all good things to do as well. Use your social media accounts to let us know you are concerned; you care and you are mad as hell that things have gotten to this point. You don’t have to post political stuff all the time like I do quite often, but maybe put a VoteBlue2020 hashtag on some posts, use interesting backgrounds that you can often get from the above sites. Be creative.

So, my “list” is just a smattering of what is out there. I will update this as time goes on, but I wanted to get this post up and hopefully help some of you get more involved without too much stress. The above are all good, solid organizations working for the good of America and all of us. Even if you don’t have a lot of time once you check out a site, sign up for their alerts and for them to send you information to keep you up to date on the important issues you can pick and choose what is feasible for you to do and become part of the solution to ending the insanity here in the USA.

Not everyone is cut out to follow and participate in politics like I am. And some of us, like me, are FURIOUS with the destruction taking place with Trump and his cronies in office. I don’t expect everyone to be as involved as I am, but you should KNOW the basics of what’s happening – before it’s too late. And you MUST vote!!! Always be aware of when and where your polling place IN YOUR AREA!!! Register to vote, if you are not already registered. And if you are a woman, did you know that if EVERY woman in America voted we could RULE this country EASILY. That’s a FACT.

Basically, just be a little bit more aware. Try not to stress yourself out, but don’t be complacent either. Do what you are ABLE to do and know that that’s enough. Leave the harder stuff for those of us who are crazy enough and have enough time on our hands to DO the footwork and the harder things. We are all in this together. Support each other, love each other and know that we CAN change things. Be a pebble in the pond…cause ripples that may just turn into gigantic waves!

Vote Democratic in the 2020 election. #VOTEBlue2020 !!!

I do hope that this resonates with you and helps those looking to become more involved. I’m always looking for more good suggestions / actions. So, if you want drop me a line at MainelyButch@yahoo.com or OneAngryAmerican2019@yahoo.com I would love to hear from other politically active women and about your local hot-button issues.

Peace ~ and remember…ALWAYS BE KIND! ~ MainelyButch aka Ang

Honest Blogging…what’s my take?

Fandango once again has piqued my interest with a post of his. It’s about how honest one is in their blog posts. The question is posed as follows:

How honest are you to your blog and as such, to your readership? Do you think you can be too honest, too open?

I feel like I have been very truthful and as honest as I can be with my blogs and to my readers. I try to convey what is happening in my life at the moment of the blog and sometimes my blogs are about recurring issues that I deal with; health issues, dog stuff, flirtations and even love. I’ve also written about my experiences with addiction, recovery, relapse and the more negative sides of my life. I’ve never proclaimed to be any sort of saint in my actions or on my life journey. I know I’ve fucked up, back tracked, and had to regroup my brain more than a few times over my 57 years. But life seems to happen in chapters, as I have discussed before, and I am always truthful to the current chapter that I am going through. My opinions and views on things will definitely change, everyone’s do. It’s just part of life and the result of one gaining more knowledge or experience that will change an opinion. Sometimes it’s just something that changes with time.

Currently I am in a really awesome chapter of my life. My 50’s have been some discovery years for sure. A decade of settling in fully to my authentic self and understanding that I am enough and that I DO matter in peoples’ lives. I have a place in this world, a vision and goals. Being brutally honest with my written word is one of those things that I intend to remain true to until the day I stop blogging…at which time I will be being pronounced dead, cuz I plan on blogging to the end.

As part of an older Butch crowd now I have more of a concern for those coming into their own at younger ages. They have to have good, solid role models and examples to learn from. I try to remember that. I may not be the best example of how to be, but I can definitely present some examples of how not to be, and advice on how to avoid perilous situations.

This blog was started back in 2009. Prior to then I blogged mostly on AOL’s former platform. When I quit there I sat and printed out ALL of those old blogs. While those are interesting because they reflect a much younger me as well as a much different me, they are integral to who I am today. It’s interesting to read through some of the really old stuff and try to imagine where my thoughts were at that time and why.

There are some topics in those old, printed blogs and even here on my Butch Perspectives blog that I want to revisit with today’s opinion vs. how I thought when I originally wrote about the topic. I am also going to do this with some of my old video vlogs on Youtube that are so far out-dated that I just have to update them and most likely remove the older stuff. It’s hard to know whether to leave the videos up or not. Right now I am planning to decide one video at a time.

It’s incredible how we continue to grow, learn and change throughout our lives. It’s really a non-stop process of self-preservation. We roll with the punches and adapt depending on what we are faced with or what is happening around us in the world. Attitudes come and go, change and revert. It’s not surprising that so many of us are in medically induced states of mind these days. Anti-depressants are our friends.

So, yes, I feel like I have been authentic and honest in my blogging – at least to the point that I am able to be. Sure, there are things in my head that I will never write about; incidents that are either too painful for me or others to recall in writing, or things that are just best left buried in the back of the darker part of my mind. Again, self-preservation rears it’s head.

Summer time in Texas….August oven!

I am currently in Texas with my girl and having a great time. I love being with her, every minute together we build memories that sustain us when we are apart. She has brought a light into my life that burns bright in my heart, warming my soul. She sparks passion in me that I thought long gone and it feels fucking amazing. I just want to wrap her in my love and protect her from the harshness of the world, but I do not want to ever restrict her from experiencing life in her own ways. Our relationship is very solid from both sides I believe and that is something very unique in my world. Never have I met such a woman like her that is so true to her word and to herself and with me before. I will guard that with everything I have in me.

Texas is hot as fuck. I mean, damn, people here that can function in this kind of super oppressive heat amaze me. We have basically kept outside activity to a minimum, playing in the backyard with the kiddo after dinner when it’s cooler, sitting in the two foot deep kiddie pool laughing and joking around. We’ve gone out sight-seeing and it was basically stopping and taking photos of cool stuff, then jumping right back into the air conditioned car or going into a cool building. Today we went into the Blue Bird Circle Shop in Houston. It is a women’s organization with incredible history of philanthropy and of supporting research and care for Rett patients. And wow, what an incredible shop! It’s all consigned thrift, very high quality and fun stuff. I made a small purchase of a set of special little bunny figures with little dainty butterflies on them, they’re adorable and my Mom collects bunnies, so they’re a gift for her.

Me and the Doc…

My girl’s daughter has Rett, a genetic disorder that affects fine motor skills – speech, hand use, walking, muscle tone and eating. It’s not something easy at all to deal with, but the kid is thriving and is very smart – which makes it doubly frustrating for her and her mother because the child knows what she wants and wants to say, or ask for, but they haven’t quite got the communication down between them. The Bean, which is what we call the little girl, is growing and is now over 4 yrs old and she’s got a LOT to say! You can do a lot of communicating with her by asking yes or no questions and she has developed an eye-contact or head turn to indicate her answer. It’s a start, and it’s not perfect, but I have much hope and optimism that good things are coming down the road – very soon – to help Bean and other little girls like her. There are new treatments being developed every day in the scientific community and we are just waiting for access to them here in the USA.

I love the kid to pieces. She’s got a stellar smile and is really funny sometimes! She loves to laugh and be silly, and when she’s not in agreement with something I say she gives me the most stern “eye-brow” crunch or side-eye look to let me know! It’s kind of cute, and really amazing that she’s so on target with her reactions, so you KNOW she’s understands perfectly what you’re saying!

Bean loves music especially and today I got her a Rocktopus (a FisherPrice toy) that has like 15 instrument capsules that you rotate into it’s various tentacles, I will include a picture so you get the gist of what it looks like. Anyway, Bean LOVES the musical beast. And it helps her improve her hand use and the hand / eye coordination. She just has to think about her movement much harder than what comes so automatically to you or I. She’s doing really well with it though, I’ve seen marked improvement over the last year.

Rocktopus by Fisher Price
2019 Toy of The Year Award

We did a ton of sightseeing in Houston yesterday…I will post those pictures in the next blog…later today, so watch your feeds!!

Peace! ~ MB

Some days…

Ever have one of those days where feel like you just can’t do anything right….well I am having one of those kinds of nights.

Sometimes I think in my head things then they just come out of my mouth without me thinking. There are certain people that I think I can do that will, Being totally honest and raw, but then sometimes you gotta wonder if you have to self-censor more frequently.

A may not be that great at always saying exactly the right and perfect thing but I give it a hell of a try. I like to know what’s happening with people who are closest and most important to me. And being a Butch sometimes my reaction may be off if I’m expecting something that doesn’t happen – especially in the moment. I think Butches have expectations of people that may be a bit more than the average person. This is particular true in relationships in the Butch-femme way. We expect just a little more than usual; it’s part of the agree dynamic.

I have changed over the years and I no longer have time for anger to steal from me. It feels like such a useless and non productive emotion; I am sure it has a purpose somewhere in human psychology. But I don’t like to be angry and I don’t like to deal with anger from someone else. If they can’t explain themselves without being angry or hostile then I’ll just wait until the anger subsides and hope that a conversation of understanding can happen. Maybe I’m a fool.

I have rules in my life that I try to live by; a little set of previously unwritten guidelines. Tonight I swallow my pride and break a cardinal rule.

I have my Calm app running, listening to the waves crashing on the shore- which makes me remember how angry the sea can turn, and I jacked a couple of sleeping pills and dabbed a bit. It’s worked to calm my nerves, but not my heart.

Tomorrow is another day. We wake up and hope it’s a better one.

Peace. – MB

Sinful Sunday…Week 430 One Shot, Two Ways…

Greetings! I searched the prompt site for week 431’s theme…and I cannot find it for the life of me. So, here’s a double entry of “one shot, two ways” for your Sinful Sunday…

I love my Harley boots, some of the most comfortable footwear I’ve ever donned. I do miss my riding days, but the memories are oh-so-sweet, safely tucked inside my head.

Below is my second set of pictures for the “one shot, two ways”. My girl and I got these matching tattoos during my visit to Houston this last Spring. In the first, she’s getting the tattoo…and in the second I was admiring the finished product while cooling off…

I hope you have a great week. I’m checking out other Sinful Sunday posts and you can too by clicking on the lips.

Peace ~ MB

Sinful Sunday

Catching Up with Myself

 I have got to be some kind of stupid fucker. I have had to boot my former “best friend’ out of my house. She had been living with me for several months after she fell on hard times and had to have her knee replaced. I thought i was helping her, but turns out she was using the fuck out of me and abusing my kindness. She was lying to me, doing prohibited things in the house and costing me a fortune. I finally hit my limit while my girlfriend was here over 4th of July holiiday, when the idiot caused a scene in front of my girl. THAT was the final straw. I had to tell her to leave. I couldn’t have that in the house with my girlfriend and her 4 yr old daughter here, it just wasn’t right. I had asked this person NOT to cause me any trouble while my girl was visiting, and I’m really surprised that she did…but then again, maybe I also expected it subconsciously.

So, back to the solo living the Butch bachelor life once again…not really “i” as I DO have a girlfriend who I am very much in love with and to who I give my loyalty, but I am living solo in southern Maine…girlfriend is in Texas and we do see each other quite frequently. She flies up to Boston about every 6-7 weeks, and I have been down there once with 2 more tripsy coming this summer and fall. We try to have a pre-planned date for the next visit before we end each visit.  That way we find that we both have something nice to look forward to and we can plan what we want to do for activities if we want to be out of the house. Some days we love to just hang around the house and chill all day…yup, you know that lesbians invented Netfix and chill!! 

I will be down in Houston area the first 10 days of August. I am so looking forward to a nice extended visit there. And I have grown so attached to her daughter that I am excited to spend time with her also. She’s such a great kid, and she’s starting to learn new things! It makes my heart very happy. My girl is such a terrific mother, and being the mother of a Rett syndrome girl is not easy – physically,mentally or emotionally – thus it puts me in total awe of my girlfriend. She says it was a total mess at first when they got the diagnosis (baby was like  16 mos old) but she did the work and is taking it one day at a time, which is all any of us should do anyway! She’s a great mother, a wonderful lover and a superior girlfriend! MmmmMMmmmmMMM!

I’ve been changing up my habits and days. Stopped watching General Hospital soap opera everyday because it was just wasting my time and making me anxious. It’s been almost 2 weeks now, but you know how soap operas are…you can watch once a year and be in the loop. I am also doing my day on a schedule instead of winging it; getting up on a regular schedule, doing my morning tasks and working the plan for the day. It’s all helping keep me focused, strong and working toward good always. I feel like losing the roomie was a really good thing for me. I was falling into a major depression and not attending to much of anything.

I’m feeling a LOT better now. It’s like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again. I don’t have to deal with her criticizing me all the time, pointing out all m faults and short-comings. I don’t have to wonder why she’s hiding in her room sleeping 22 hours a day, never doing anything productive. I let her behavior get on my nerves and depress ME…not a good thing at all.  Glad it’s finally OVER.

Poor Nola had to have a dental and 5 teeth pulled on Wednesday. She’s not veryhappy with me or about the pain in her mouth right now. I am hoping that by tomorrow she will be better. I finally got out a pet syringe and gave her 4 full barrels of water – about 16 ml – and a teaspoon of wet, soft dog food with a half a pain pill in it. I am hoping that will make her feel a little bit better tonight.

She hasn’t eaten anything since Tuesday night, before the surgery on Wednesday morning. If she doesn’t eat by tomorrow around noon I will have to take her back and have her checked.

Friday 7-12-19

Nola got up and ate this morning! I only gave her half a portion and she ate it right up! I gave her a half pain pill again about 10am. By mid afternoon – 4pm she wanted more food and was pretty perky! I fed them early and we took a ride up to my sister’s place and looked at her flowers. She has an extremely gorgeous butterfly bush!

Not sure why at the weekend will bring…going to a party on Saturday up at my cousin’s place. Got a few things to get done here, and the dogs to keep me company. We’ll see what happens!

peace ~MB