Just Things…

I been in one of my stupid “funks” for over a week.  Just don’t have any enthusiasm for life when I get like this.  I just want to hide from the world, not interact with others and stay in my own private space.  And I don’t want to talk about it at all.

Today is the anniversary of the Pulse night club fire in Orlando Florida.  I’ve been thinking about it all day.  How those people were partying and having a blast and their night turned to horror with fatal results for 49 innocent people.  All because some stupid mother fucker had it out for the LGBT community.  It sucks.  It’s just not right.  And what makes me even madder today is that our idiot “presicent” did not even take 2 minutes to speak to the memories of these 49 lost souls.  You KNOW that any other President, like Obama, would have done that for sure.  Just more proof that he hates our community and is wanting us erased.

Today it was 94 degrees here….THAT is VERY hot.  After work I came home and retreated to my air conditioned bedroom.  Then my friends came over and we got the other A unit installed in the main living area of the house.  It’s working now to bring the temperature down out there to a tolerable degree.  Around 7pm, as the sun was going down, I went outside and watered all of my gardens and container plants.  Then I got very brave and mowed all of the lawns.  It looks great, and it’s DONE for the week.  Now I have the next 2 days off and don’t have to worry about mowing in the 90+ degree heat!

…ok, I wrote the above 3 paragraphs last night before I fell asleep…

This morning I am awake and have a new attitude for the day.  I got myself cleaned up and dressed nice and early and I am determined to do something fun – or at least something that I enjoy – today.  It’s going to be another scorcher outside today, so it would be a good day for the beach or the pool.  I do have to consider the dogs…of course they would love to go to the beach, but they would also restrict what I would be able to do.  I can’t leave them in the hot car or really relax while keeping an observant eye on mischievous little Lulu.

I am thinking I am going to go to the BARBER shop and get my annual super Butch haircut…it’s time to shave it all off!  Yes, that’s where I am going to start the day… and I am OFF!!! Bye!

Peace!  ~MB

Great Day!

I had a really great day today.  Not that anything really special happened or anything like that, but it was just a good fucking day.

I woke up still worried about my buddy who I wrote about yesterday.  So, after I got myself together I drove over to her house to check in on her and she was fine.  Thank goodness for that.  I then went up and spent the morning at my mother’s helping her sort through her extensive collection of Royal Doulton statues and figurines.  She’s decided to sell the collection off.  So we cleaned them all up, inventoried them and got them ready to place in the consignment shop in town.

It was just super sweet to spend some time with my mother.  She is probably the person that I most admire in this life.  She is as genuine as they come; kind, compassionate, full of love and life, and she has always been there for me when I have needed her.  I totally admire the woman.  I just hope that her goodness and her traits are rubbing off on me.  Other people meet my mom and instantly love her too.  She is just the type of person who is open and honest and accepting of everyone.  Her warmth and enthusiasm for life is contagious.  I hope I have many more years hanging out with her on my days off, she really makes me smile.

I came home and got the yard all mowed and trimmed.  The place looks stellar.  This coming Saturday is the annual community yard sale and I wanted everything done and looking as good as possible before the weekend.  I’ve been gathering items that I wish to sell and getting things ready to display.  I don’t have as much this time around.  I did a good job last year cleaning out unwanted and unneeded items during last year’s sale.  But I do have a couple of boxes of stuff and a lawn mower and some other excess stuff in the shed.  So maybe I’ll make a little extra pocket money this weekend, that would be sweet.

I started the pumpkins and the cucumbers in the garden.  One hundred and ten days to harvest, so they should be ready come late September.  I’ll be excited to see what kind of crop I manage to get this year.  I am trying some new seeds that are supposed to produce giant pumpkins and some others that produce carving and baking type pumpkins.  The cukes I planted this year are the Mediterranean type, long and slender.  I hope they do well too.

So that was my day….I hope you all had a good day as well!   Peace!  ~MB



So, my dog Nola is a barker.  She barks at cars passing the house.  She barks at other dogs and just can’t seem to get along with other dogs very well.  She will bark in their faces and then scream like a little girl when they challenge her.  It’s kind of amusing, and embarrassing.  I can’t take Nola into places like Lowe’s or Home Depot because when she sees another dog she goes off like a fucking bark monster.  It’s really starting to bother me lately.  I think that it bothers me because Lulu is the kind of dog that gets along with everybody and anybody and doesn’t bark at other dogs unless she is coerced into it by her sister, Nola.  I can take Lu anywhere and she’s the hit of the party, charming, cute and loveable.  Miss Congeniality.  So, I am desperate to figure out how to cuerb Nola’s barking, how to get her so that she will listen to me and “leave it” alone when I command it.  “Leave it” is her command to stop whatever she is doing and focus on me.  She’s about 90% good at it.  She comes when called, will generally stop and respond to my commands…except when she’s barking out the fucking house or car window.  Then she’s out of control; consumed by the need to bark er brain off at whatever it is that she’s reacting to — generally another dog or a kid on a bicycle.  God forbid she see a baby stroller…those are extra barkable evidently.

I have had people tell me to ignore it, and I have tried to do that.  Doesn’t work.  Still she barks.  I try taking her everywhere with me, exposing her to other dogs, people, kids, and stuff.  She is 90% good, then she just loses it and the barking starts.  It is annoying to me, and embarrassing too.

Nola is not a “treat” responsive dog.  She could care less about getting a “treat” or a bone for doing something good.  The only thing she seems to respond to (don’t hate now!) is the rolled up newspaper that I use to scold her with.  I do NOT hit her with it, I smack the table or the wall to make a loud noise with it and threaten her.  Generally she’ll stop when I break out the dreaded newspaper roll.  I haven’t had it out ina long time, but I am thinking of making one right now because today was an extra  barky day.  I make one by rolling up a section of newspaper and duct taping it tight, giving me a little stick sort of thing that I can make loud noise with if needed.

So, I love this dog beyond words.  I would never do anything to hurt her, but I feel like I am doing something wrong around this barking issue.  What do I do?  Does anyone out there have any “dog whisperer” suggestions for us?  I have considered a bark collar, but the dog is 9 years old….is it too late for that sort of device?  If it’s not then I will definitely try it.  I am desperate.  This issue has been left unattended to for far too long.  I do welcome any suggestions or ideas that you, my wonderful readers, may have for me!  Please comment below or send me an email!  (Yes, I am finally keeping up with my email account once again….I check it every couple of days.)

Went to a barbeque at my parents’ home today.  They made pulled pork and it was terrific.  Not many people were there. It ended up just being my sister, my parents, me and Linda and a neighborhood friend.  We stayed about an hour and a half and had some delicious bbq food and chatted for a while.  The pool was far too cold for swimming, and Nola was barking at the other dogs – aggravating my sister particularly with her barking.  So we called it early and headed home.

I got back home around 2:30 and decided to plant some seeds in the veggie garden.  I got giant pumpkins planted (2 hills of them) and a hill of carving pumpkins.  I put in some Mediterranean Cucumbers and then I started a tray of flower seeds.  Snapdragons, Shasta daisies, and a couple of others I can’t remember the names of right now.  I also got 4 – 2cf. bags of black mulch spread in the main part of the flower garden out front – it looks awesome!  I need another 5 bags to finish the other half of that garden and to put some in the little gardens on either side of my front entrance steps.   Then there is the large space in front of my house where I removed 3 gigantic rhododendrums (sp?) that had gone insane.  I need to either put in some more smaller shrubs or make a garden in that space too.  Seems like outdoor work is never done…there’s always something to do out there.

It’s time for me to crash.  I spent some time chatting with a good friend on FB messenger tonight, I really enjoy our chats.  It’s hard for me to reach out to people, and I have needed to do it more lately.  This person feels safe and I trust her.  We chatted a lot about the Giant Orange Asshole…wondering what he will do to embarrass us this week!?

I’m off to bed.  Peace.  ~MB



Spring Boredom…

It’s Saturday night and I am home trying to figure out what to do with myself!  I did some gardening today, and could do more of that until dark…but just not into it right now.  I have a lot of junk on my mind and thought I would take a stab at writing some of it down…pondering my thoughts so to speak.

It’s been another fucked up week in America, Trump is somehow still President and he’s been traveling abroad making a complete ass out of himself and embarrassing Americans all over the place.  It almost pains me to turn on the daily news, for fear of more embarrassment and stupidity from the White House.

It’s Memorial Day weekend, a time to remember those lost in the fight for Freedom around the world.  A time to remember those who are still fighting, still putting their lives on the line every day for our freedom.  Today we lost a 25 yr old young man in Syria, I’m not sure what the count is now for Syria…it seems that this “never ending war” that we have been involved in for so many years just seems to keep expanding to different countries.  Syria is just the latest.  It makes me sad for his family, his wife and 2 young sons who will never know the presence of their father from this day forward.  Senseless loss and pain

The news seems to be just filled with so much violence, terror attacks, hate crimes and the such lately.  It feels to me like there has really been an uptick in these crimes.  I have to say that it is a very different feeling here in the US these days, it’s more fearful, more people seem to feel like it is somehow more acceptable now to lash out in hatred towards those who are “different” from them, whether it be color, religion or socio-economically.  I see the “looks” around the store where I work sometimes.  It’s just scary.

I’ve been just taking it all in lately, trying to figure out how to feel about it all.  I have a president that provokes violence, who doesn’t support our allies, who is against conservation and clean energy, who is corrupt and colluding with the enemy.  Just how the fuck am I supposed to feel as an American right now?  I’ll tell you how I am feeling…I’m feeling very discouraged, very ashamed and embarrassed.  I don’t understand why the representatives that we have elected to represent us are NOT doing their jobs.  Why are THEY not up in arms about this incompetent man we call POTUS?  What has he got over them that keeps them all from removing him from office, as he should be removed!  I am completely frustrated by our politicians and representative’s lack of action and lack of words.  They should be speaking out, speaking up and representing us as they were all elected to do.  They do not work for him, they work for US!!!

Ok, let me get off of that subject now.  It just infuriates me to watch my country going to hell like it is under this administration.  The damage will take decades to repair, it’s sad and it’s unconscionable.

My gardens are looking pretty good.  I have been planting more perennials in the flower beds, and today I got the black mulch for the beds.  Tomorrow morning I have plans to get up and tackle finishing the garden edging and spreading the mulch.

I haven’t even touched the veggie garden yet.  I am hoping that I will find some time this weekend to at least get in the pumpkin seeds.  I got some giant pumpkins to grow!  I hope I have as good a luck this year with them as I did last year.

I’m a little behind just because I can’t always seem to find the ambition to do things that need to be done around here.  I mean the place looks great, but I want it to look even better!   I have to paint the front porch and put in new ballisters.  I’m looking toward possibly next weekend to tackle that project, depending upon the weather forecast.  We have had a lot of rain lately!  I need the porch to dry completely, scrape it, prime it and then paint it with a good quality deck paint.  I’d like to get a couple of years out of a painting!  I will have to take some new photos and show you all what things are looking like around here.

I’ve been feeling pretty good  Staying healthy and trying to be happy.  My depression still rears it’s ugly head too frequently.  I am thinking of changing my anti-depressant meds to a new one, I’ve been on this one I am on now for over 5 years, I don’t think it’s working very well anymore.  Other than that, I am doing very well.

Tomorrow is my annual Memorial Day barbeque at my parent’s home in the next town over.  I’ll be surrounded by my 4 siblings and their families, lots of other dogs and hopefully it will be a fun and relaxing time.  As long as we stay away from religion, politics and sexual conversations everything will be just fine.  I tend to hold very differing opinions of some of those things than some of my more conservative family members do, which can pose a problem in arguments should they occur.  I am looking forward to just a relaxing day in the sunshine eating pulled pork sandwiches and bird watching.  There are some awesome birds up there!





Hot, Hot, Hot!

Whoa!  It was some fucking hot here in Maine today!  It got up to about 95 here where I live in little town southern Maine.  And that is not only very hot, but very unusual for this part of the country.  We generally don’t see temperatures in the 90’s until late July, early August, and even then they are short lived.  Good summer temps here are generally in the high 80’s and the humidity can vary depending on rainfall and how close you are to the water.  I get a lot of ocean breeze here where I am, which is kind of nice.  You can always tell when the tide is rolling in because you can smell the salt in the air.

My moods have been fucked up lately. But I am feeling better overall.  I know that the moods are affected by my various medications, and that’s to be somewhat expected, but still it can be aggravating to me.  I am going to try a new product, called Kratom.  I’ll be doing a bunch of research on it this weekend and hopefully finding some quality product to try out.  It came as a recommendation from a good friends in California who uses it for pain relief and a mood booster — which is close to exactly what I would want to use it for.  It’s an herbal productr from Asia, and isn’t FDA approved, but it’s legal and it has been shown to have significant benefits used in the correct manner.  I’d love to hear from any one who has any personal experience with Kratom as to how you like it and what kinds of benefits it has brought to you.

The house looks pretty good.  I am getting ready to paint the font and back porches, spruce them up a bit.  They could use a good coat of new paint.  I did get the skirting done on both porches, so that animals can’t easily get under there and bother me.  We have some resident ground hogs that live under our various neighborhood sheds.  Hopefully they will stay out of the veggie garden!

I been catching up on my blog reading, so if you are seeing comments from me suddenly on your blogs it’s because I am playing catch up.  This last month I have been really not reading or writing much.  I just needed time to THINK without processing every little bit through my writing.  I have been going to group still, but I think I am about done with that for now.  I’m not feeling like I am getting much out of it personally.  And it’s expensive, as it’s an out of pocket cost for me every week.  I’ve done well, things are still right on track and I feel that I can drop the group therapy thing with no problem.  I will continue with one-on-one therapy for a bit longer, until I feel that I am solid in my recovery.  Plus, hey personal therapy doesn’t hurt one bit.  It’s actually been good for me, helps me process some of the fucked up shit I have had to deal with lately.  And that is good.

Linda and I are going to take the dogs to the doggie event at the Raitt Farm this weekend.  They are having a big event to promote adoption and support for the local shelters.  Ought to be fun and interesting.  Food, games, dog stuff, dog fun events, etc.  I’m looking forward to Saturday for this reason!

I’ve been working a little more than usual lately.  It’s really gotten wicked busy at my place of employment.  Like today, we sold TONS of water and ice, seemed that everyone who came in was stocking up on hydration and ice.  We have many customers who are local landscapers and construction workers, so they need to stay hydrated as they are working ou in the heat and sun.  I still enjoy the job, enjoy the people and seeing all the locals on a regular basis.  It’s nice when people come in and know my name, greet me with enthusiasm and make small talk about townie stuff.  Yeah, I don’t foresee leaving there anytime soon.  It’s really a perfect little part time job for me.  Keeps me with a weekly schedule, holds me responsible to others and gives me a little sense of purpose and security.  The money isn’t great, but it’s enough to make a difference in my budget…I would not stay if it weren’t.  I also really like the people that I work with, and that always makes a difference to me.

On the political front…I have been keeping up per my usual habits.  I keep a very close eye on the imbicile in the White House, aka the UGLY ASS ORANGE ONE who is our “fake POTUS”.  I have had to temper my reactions a bit.  I was allowing myself to be negatively affected by the news, and that’s not good. It’s important to have good information and a measured response.  I can’t do anything about the situation on my own, thus I cannot let it eat at me like I was previously allowing.  Staying informed, watching and contacting my representatives every chance I get is how I am staying involved.  I think you will soon see another big march on the White House, especially with things getting a super hot as they are there.  Just in the last 10 days alone things have begun to spiral out of control in the White House.  Trump is feeling the pressure and doesn’t like it one bit.  While he likes attention like no one I have ever previously seen, he is not as fond of “negative attention” – even though it still serves it’s purpose in getting him to the front and center of everyone’s minds.  He would rather be adored than abhorred, but he’ll take whatever he can get at this point, I believe.  It’s AMAZING how he can lie daily to us, and yet there is still a loyal following that actually believe what this asshole is dishing out to them.  They are like hogs slathering at the feed though, sucking up his vile words like they are candy.  Yep, he is quite the con artist for sure. I am just really saddened that so many people have been  bamboozled by his insanity and daily lies.

Ah, it’s 4:21 am and the birds are starting to sing outside.  I have all of the windows and doors open, am sitting her in just my boxer briefs enjoying the coolness of the air upon my skin.  Yep, semi-naked blogging, hahahaha.  I love this time of morning, the peace and quiet, save for the sounds of nature waking up to this new day.  I feel like I can think so much more clearly and without noise pollution and obstruction from outside sources at this time of morning.

I am working at 6am, until probably about 1pm today.  Depending on how busy it gets there, I will stay as long as I am needed.  It’s going to be a bit more normal temperature wise, in the high 70’s, today.  Plus it’s air conditioned at work, so it’s not so bad hanging out there and working instead of being at home fighting the heat at high-noon!  Today is Friday, payday and errand day!  Linda and I will get together after we are done with our work/jobs.  We will go to town (Portsmouth) and take care of our weekly Friday errand lists.  Generally that entails a stop at the grocery store, smoke shop, gas station, Walmart and wherever else we need to go.  It’s become a ritual with us on Fridays now.  We team up in one vehicle as to save gas and wear and tear on our trucks.  We alternate vehicles each week, one week using mine and the next using hers.  I gassed up yesterday evening, so today I am sure we’ll use Linda’s truck so we can gas that one up and do our stuff.

I spent last evening cleaning up my house really good, getting organized for the weekend and so I won’t have any of that stuff to do today!  I like this feeling of accomplishment that comes with having a clean, organized and well maintained household.  I’m so excited for a good weekend, which I totally plan on having, that I even got up earlier than usual this morning.  I was up by about 2:45am, and raring to go!  I went to bed pretty early, so I got plenty of sleep I am sure.

Ok, Happy Friday!  I do sincerely hope that each of your days are good ones!  Everyone have a great weekend, and I may even write more tomorrow, depending upon time and how I am feeling.  Thanks for reading!  Thanks for following!  I sincerely appreciate you, my dear readers!    Peace!  ~MB


Plodding Along

If feels like months have gone by since I have sat down to write here.  I can’t say I’ve been overly busy, or anything.  Just haven’t had it in me to write much.  I feel kind of empty.  I know it’s just a rough spot, but fuck I hate it when I feel like this.

The political scene in this country is a tragic MESS.  Yes, the train is about to derail.  Trump has gotten himself into quite a pickle, and now we have a whole new investigation about to begin.  I am hoping this is going to sink this mother fucker for good.  He’s done nothing but piss on this country repeatedly, as well as on our allies too.  He needs to be deposed.  IMPEACHED.

It’s been super rainy and cold lately…until today, when the temps shot up to 80 overnight.  Tomorrow is supposed to reach the mid 90’s and I haven’t even gotten my air conditioning units installed in the house yet.  By the time I get to it tomorrow, after work, it will be well into the 90’s and I’ll be a hot mess doing it.

Everything else has been going okay.  I’m on track I guess.  Life just goes on as normal.

Hope you are all doing well!   Peace.  ~MB

Trump PROVES He’s a Total Idiot.

Yes, as if he could get any worse, this imbecile has gone above and beyond stupid.

And it only takes him a mere few hours to make himself look stupider than EVER!

Remember, it’s ONLY TUESDAY morning and so far he has:

called our Constitution “archaic” and “bad for the country” – meaning it’s bad for him because he can’t fully extend his totalitarian rule with the Constitution standing in his way.

Wishes to change the 1st Ammendment of our Constitution so that no one can criticize him.  Says “no one should be able to protest” him at all.  This is his attempt to silence the press – a VERY NAZI move and the move of a fascist.

Says he would be “honored” to meet with Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, and that Un is “smart”…yes, a dictator with blood on his hands, the killer of his own brother, he’s some “smart” alright, and just who I would like to see meeting with the leader of my country – NOT.

Invites a mass murderer to the White House – Duarte.  Enough said.

Has put into action the dismantling of Michelle Obamas healthy school lunch program.  And is ending her “Let Girls Learn” program as well.  He just cannot stand anything that was anyone elses idea, especially if your name is Obama.

Praised Andrew Jackson up and down, saying he “didn’t want the civil war” to happen.  THEN he finds out that Jackson had been DEAD for 16 years when the Civil War started, so he changed it to “wouldn’t have let it happen”.  Of course. Jackson was a slave owner, he forced Native Americans from their lands, thus starting the “Trail of Tears” and was an ignorant fuck.

THEN the Idiot in Chief says “Why did the Civil War happen?”  WTF???  He doesn’t even realize what he says anymore, or understand basic US history.  The Civil War happened to stop people from owning other people; to stop slavery.  It’s pretty simple, but he wouldn’t get it even if you tried to explain it to him.  He WANTS to own other people and thinks it’s perfectly alright.  Asshole.

I am just beside myself.  Just what HAS to HAPPEN before Americans wake up and get this fool out of office?  When will he get irritated enough with not being adored and admired by all, and RESIGN?

I do not fully understand what is happening with my country or my government.  We have this Orange Buffoon in charge who is trying to hold a coup and flip us to a dictatorship.  Yet, I see NOTHING being done politically to get him out of office or get control of him.  Republicans are cowed to him completely.  They just choose to ignore him, because as long as they have ANYONE who will identify as a Republican as their leader they will deal with the guy being a fool.  They don’t care about the American reputation or the American people one fucking bit.

It’s very early on Tuesday morning here, so we have the day to see what else will happen with this guy and his posse in DC.  I don’t predict that it will be anything good at all.  More of the same hateful rhetoric and destruction of the American life.

That’s your update…pray for us!

Peace.  ~MB