My Brain on Over-drive

November 2019

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Fuck. It kind of crept up on me this year as I wasn’t really paying attention. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow, yet it will be somewhat good to spend a bit of time with my biological family. They all mean well and I do love them dearly – most of them. I only hope that the blue / red division won’t come into play. I hope no one is out to trigger anyone else with political bullshit. I hope it’s peaceful, loving and fun. No drama. And I hope that for ALL of YOU out there in the world!

This is so true of my feelings for sure! MB

I woke up this morning feeling a little out of sorts, confused and anxious. I don’t see my doctor until a couple of days before my birthday in January. I think I need a med adjustment, or change, something just isn’t working any longer. I’ve been doing some research and I think that I will wean off of the Wellbutrin and increase the Cymbalta dosage. I did pretty good on the higher dose of that previously, without any other anti-depressant added. I want to go back to a single anti-d med. So, yeah, that’s my plan. I hope my new doctor will hear me out and help me make that change.

I believe that in 2020 the injection for HIV suppression will be available to those of us living with this fucked up virus. I am on my doctor’s primary list to be given this injection as soon as it’s available to us. It’s been super successful in trials and is almost there with final approvals by the powers that be. I’ll be happy not to be taking pills every morning to maintain my zero viral load status!

With only 5 weeks left in 2019 I have begun to put together some plans and ideas for 2020, from books I want to read to places I plan to visit. I’ve just begun the process. I’m starting a vision board and I just started a new adventures notebook to memorialize the year. I don’t like to do much for “long-term” planning, so I keep it simple. I don’t plan out exact dates or exact routes, motels, or make any type of itinerary for an adventure. That’s why it’s an “adventure” and not a planned out visit. My ex-wife used to actually create and print out an itinerary for every trip we took together – and there were many! It drove me crazy, but I smiled and went along with it generally. One trip we took I actually threw the itinerary out the car window in the middle of the mountains in Arizona…she wasn’t pleased, but she already had it memorized anyway. That trip was awesome as fuck and I have tons of great memories from those 10 days.

A few of my ideas/plans thus far are:

  • Four road trips, one during each season of 2020 to be planned around the weather and conditions at the time and in the places I’ll be cruising. Some are going to be Minnesota, Utah, Florida & Texas. Plus a trip across Maine on Old Canada Road, Rte 201.
  • Two long hikes. This I’ve already started gearing up for. I need to be in better physical condition and healthy as I can be when I embark on these adventures. One will be part of the Appalacian Trail, which I have done portions of in the past and loved it. Both are planned to be 3 day adventures.
  • One adventure to Canada. I think I will enter at Niagra Falls (for convenience) and head to Toronto. I have a couple of LGBT friends near Toronto who I would love to see in 2020.
  • Museum of Natural History in NYC, I’ll also go to Ellis Island and visit Ground Zero.

I just had a shitload of work done on my car – not fun – so I know it’s in top shape for long runs. I’ve set up a special account for saving funds for these things, which is going well thus far. The car repairs set it back a bunch, but it had to be done. The car is overall in good shape albeit high mileage at 204K but the mechanic looked it all over thoroughly and he says she’s fine for long distance cruising. Unfortunately, one cannot avoid those kinds of things that seem to happen when you can least afford it – car, furnace or other big expense home stuff. I usually manage somehow, this time was a bitch but I pulled the fucking rabbit out of the hat once again. Thanks to side hustles and Yankee ingenuity.

Nola and Lulu have been great. Lu is silly as usual and going through one of her twice yearly sheds right now. She looks like a pretty ugly long-haired Chihuahua right now. I give her hair and skin supplements and it should grow back in very nicely – it did last time! But in the meantime she’s looking awkward to say it mildly! Nola is just Nola. Stodgy old gal she is. I got this awesome photo of them which I am having framed once the print arrives. Going to do an “assembly” buy at Micheals, it’s way less expensive than just ordering it to be framed. My sister the photographer clued me in on this method. So, I get the frame, matt and photo then take it all to the framing counter and ask for them to assemble it. They do it beautifully I am told, with a nice backing and including hanging hardware and it’s half the price. Here’s the picture…it’s my favorite shot ever taken of them together. Nelson Linscott, very kindly, digitally enhanced it for me.


October 2019

Gummy production has been going spectacular. I couldn’t be happier about that little endeavor of mine. My awesome recipe is all the rave with my customers. They like it way better than last summer’s first round try – which came out awesome and was a great first round learning experience. Someone else actually did the cooking last time though, and this time I did it myself with the new method and recipe. I educated myself in depth about how to make them commercial grade, less sticky, and the right milligram desired. And this batch, instead of translucent, is solid colored and much softer, more flavorful. And they are not sticky. I also learned not to keep them refrigerated, it’s not necessary unless you use real fruit juice, in which case they will mold. Keeping them sealed and in a place that’s just room temperature is fine. This batch here is lime. I am set up to manufacture both orange and cherry flavors this weekend, with another supply of product grown myself.

It’s been a hard fall losing friends unfortunately. On this last Monday my old friend Tractor Bob, who had been sick for years battling cancers, died peacefully at home. I used to call him a “hosta” because nothing seemed to phase him or kill him off – and he went through some pretty traumatic crap during the last years of his life, but he kept on getting back up and fighting. I’m going to miss him, but I am relieved that his pain is gone and he’s at peace.

I also lost another couple of old friends / acquaintances to drug overdoses, which I see as so uselessly tragic. I’m so glad that I got out of that whole scene a few years back now and I have no inclination to return to that crap ever. I’ve made it through some very difficult things without reaching for dope to deal with it, so I ‘m pretty proud of the strength I have in me now. It’s also thanks to some very good friends and my mom’s support and encouragement that I’ve stayed clean, that’s a fact that is not lost on me. I lost my best friend even to that crap. I had to 86 her from my life on July 3rd and while I hope she’s doing okay wherever she is now, I just can’t be around people who use like that anymore. Too bad, 2019 was a year of some pretty painful losses for me, but I survived and I’ve learned. It’s all about the lessons I suppose. (That’s bullshit).

I have to go get myself looking decent now for a pre-game get together tonight. Often a few of us get together the night before Thanksgiving. Although my brain wants to just stay home and write more tonight, I need to go and be social. I’ve been hiding from people far too much lately and I realize it, so I need to fix that right away. At least I’m not reconnecting with toxic people – aka my ex-bestie – which is always a risk when a person in recovery gets lonely. I’m not THAT fucking lonely! hahaha. I get out a lot, just not to hang out with anyone in particular. Generally it’s to the beach or Vaughn Woods to hike with my dogs, or to town to do errands, but that doesn’t count as “socializing” I am told! So, off i go! Hope you all have an enjoyable T-giving eve! Take it easy on the wine and spirits, and have a great time! Hugs to all.

Gobble. ~ MB

Understanding

I woke up in a pretty damned good mood this morning. Then I had my weekly therapy appointment at 10am. It went excellent today. I learned quite a few important things.

Firstly, I am very solid in my recovery. As bad as I have been feeling and struggling as of late with personal relationship issues I never once have reached back to my previous habit, slipped or regressed in my recovery. THAT is major. And it’s something I am proud of and that makes me feel much better about what I have to offer the world and other people.

We talked about how any crisis in any relationship usually equals potential growth opportunities for those involved if they want it to. There are revelations and lessons in the ways that each of us responds; lessons for ourselves individually as well as the ideal opportunity to grow together as a couple and add another brick to the foundation.

Also recognizing the reaction of a trauma survivor, often a victim of some form of former abuse by someone close to them – either from childhood or young adulthood – and understanding what triggers the protective withdrawal response the person has is important and must be understood. This is something I definitely recognize.

Also, I can’t be the “rescuer” in any situation. Because of who I am, my experiences and understandings, I am more of the “coach” mentality and less of the rescuer mentality. I like to see people grow and learn and free themselves – not need me to free them, instead maybe just need some compassion, understanding and guidance from me as an outside source to their healing. A support, a coach and someone who can empower someone else, someone they can trust and lean into for support.

It’s not my job to tell anyone how to grow from an experience, I can only offer myself as being there for the person and being willing to help them -and myself – learn from a difficult scenario, possibly to bring each to a better, higher understanding. Some get stuck in the modes of feelings and feel helpless or unable to change anything or get out of the space of that bad feeling on their own. Being a supportive mentor, listener and sort of “coach” is what I can do best, due to who I am.

It’s somewhat natural for me to want to “fix” everything for someone I love sometimes. Especially if she is a real giver, doer and puts herself out there often for others. When she’s not feeling appreciated for all she does she tends to withdraw or abandon things because maybe she feels unworthy or abandoned herself because no one was there to help when she needed it. See, I can’t “rescue” her from those internalized emotional responses and feelings. I can only help her acknowledge them, try to work through them and be there for her; letting her know I am there and want to help her. It’s then up to her, in her own time and mind, to accept me – or not – back into her life. Either way, I have to respect her decisions.

We all have to learn to create new, healthier ways of dealing with trauma triggers – which many of us subconsciously hold. I know I have mine for sure, but I try to stay aware of their destructiveness. Continuing the often self-destructive emotional ride of punishment can lead to other issues in other areas of life, depression, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, and other unhealthy self-abuse. That is why we want to use the crisis as an opportunity to grow and learn.

I managed to continue with my own self-care and commitment to my recovery despite the stressful and somewhat personally traumatic circumstances of the last few weeks. That’s pretty damned good. My old ways of dealing with these things no longer serve me. My new ways are far more healthy and give me the strength and commitment to deal better with difficult situations that may come up in my future. That was the way I used to deal with my own trauma experiences and I changed it, so yes, this is good!

So, that’s some of what we discussed in my session today. It was perhaps the best one I have had in a few months. My therapist said I had to get to a place mentally where I could “see” these things more clearly and understand them. She was very encouraging and I felt great leaving her office. And I’ve actually come to look forward to my weekly sessions now as well, they’re definitely good for me and making me a better person.

Thought I would write this down while it was fresh in my mind. I have more reading to do and things to think about. Life is flying by fast! I need to make sure I don’t use my time to think about things the wrong way. I need to do things as right as I am able! I have to live my best life and be happy with who I am.

Peace! ~~ MB

Quick Update…

Hello!  Just a quickie here.  I had an appearance in district court today on my violating bail conditions.  The prosecutor was a real bitch to my attorney, wanted me to do 10 days and pay a $400 fine…my attorney tried to negotiate, but this prosecutor was a BITCH.  So, in the end it got continued and hopefully I will be able to settle both charges at one hearing in January.  In the meantime, I have to provide copies of my drug tests and documentation that I am getting proper counselling and do the right things.  I don’t think I will have any problem complying with those requirements.  I just want to put this all behind me, forever.  I’m glad it was continued.  Perhaps we can get another prosecutor to look at the case.   My attorney was steaming mad about this one.  They got into quite the heated argument.

After court I had my Groups meeting, which I needed.  It was good to get some support after that time in court.  It was a good meeting.  Talke about the coming holiday and how we would all deal with our family’s reactions to us being clean and sober.  I know it’s going to be one of those days when my family will be suspicious of me, wondering if I am really staying on the right side these days.  I’ll smile and deal with it.

Going to call it a day.  I’m very tired and need my bed!

Peace.  ~MB

The Week Begins…

This past weekend was a pretty rough one for me.  I didn’t do much.  I had so much on my mind that I felt paralyzed and couldn’t focus on doing anything constructive.  So I spend much of it watching TV, listening to news, surfing the web and hibernating in my house.  I didn’t see a soul all weekend.  I had planned to spend Saturday with my best friend, but she never showed…she’s been avoiding me.  I suspect that she’s been using again and doesn’t want to hear any shit from me about it.  That’s the only reason she wouldn’t be around like normal.

This morning I got up to go to work, went out to start my truck and it was iced up.  So I started it and got the scraper out of the back and started scraping the windows.  When I reached to open the driver’s door it was LOCKED.  Fuck.  And I had locked the house door behind me when I went out.  So, I was locked out of the house AND the truck – which was running.  I also had forgotten my wallet inside the house.  But, I had my cell phone!  Thankfully.  I ended up calling my friend Linda and she came over.  She has spare keys to my house and truck.  In the end I got to work about 30 minutes late, but it was all good because I had called them to let them know.  Lesson learned.  I went to the hardware store after work and had a couple of spare keys made.  I now have one outside in the lock box on the porch, and an extra in my key cabinet.  I don’t anticipate pulling the same stupid stunt twice, but I’ll be prepared if I do!

I emailed with my attorney today.  She says I won’t be going back to jail on the 21st when I go for my hearing.  That came as a huge relief to me.  She just advised me to keep myself clean and do everything I’m supposed to be doing.  So that’s exactly what I am going to do.  I have to get letters from my boss, my counsellor and my group therapy leader, as well as a letter stating I’ve had all negative urine tests (I am tested weekly), a letter from my doctor and as much documentation as I can rustle up that makes me look good.  I’ll be working on all these things this week.  I go to court for the hearing next Tuesday.

I’m supposed to go to court on the restraining order that I have on that guy I had let stay here.  But I think I am going to drop the request for a longer order.  He hasn’t bothered me at all, and I don’t think that he will.  I think he’s pretty embarrassed about all that happened.   So I’m just going to drop the issue and not put either of us through going to court over it.  If he starts to bother me again I won’t hesitate to call the cops and push the restraining order issue to a full year.

I’ve been setting up my day-runner organizer book for 2018.  Transferring important numbers and information to it.  It’s going to help me stay far more on track with everything.  I also picked up a new 7 pocket expandable file today for 2018’s receipts.  I tend to keep impeccable track of most everything.  That way if I need to refer back to a receipt for any reason I can locate it easily.

I signed up on www.AdoptafamilyUSVI.com to adopt a family in need in the US Virgin Islands or Puerto Rico today.  I will be putting together care packages to send to them every couple of weeks.   I had been looking for a way I could help, and saw this program on the news here tonight.  I checked out the website, and encourage you to do the same!  It’s pretty straight forward, you sign up and they assign you a family.  The family gives you a “wish list” of small items they could use to make life easier for a few days.  Seems like the least I can do to help out and maybe make someone a little more comfortable in those storm ravaged areas.  They’re still mostly without power and drinkable water in both the US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.

Sad that our Fucking Moron “president” just ignores them and is so busy sucking up to Putin and Duterte, killing trade for the US and sucking money out of us citizens.  I haven’t written much about him lately, but believe me I am watching his every move and can’t wait for him to be taken out.  I believe Mueller will get him and his pack eventually.

The weather here in southern Maine has finally turned cold.  It’s going down below 30 degrees tonight.  I’ve had the heat on now for about a week and a half.  I like it pretty chilly anyway, so I only set my thermostat at 65-68 during the day and drop it down to 62 at night.  I like to sleep in the cool air with heavy blankets.  The weight of the blankets seems to calm my anxiety and helps me fall asleep.  Also I’ve added 10mg of melatonin to my night time ritual as well.  That does seem to help.  Sleep is always a bit illusive, no matter what I do.  I’m pretty used to functioning well on about 4-5 hours of total sleep.

So, anyway, it’s been a rather rough few days, but I am in a pretty good mood tonight.  I know things will get better; I’m going to MAKE them better.  I’ve got the right attitude and am really focusing on improving myself personally and living better.  I might have my down days, but overall I’m actually doing really well.  I do think that being consistent on my medications has helped with that too.

Hope you are all doing well.  Peace.  ~MB

Court Dates…Thoughts

2017-11-09 21.45.37I got home from an 8 hour shift at work this afternoon to be greeted by 3 – THREE ! – fat envelopes in my mail from my attorney.  Fuck.

One was the discovery from my last run in and lock up incident in Portland.  The second…was about a hearing on a motion to terminate deferral and impose sentence because of my being arrested was in violation of my bail conditions, or conditions of release (VCR).  Fuck.

I’m scared of course.  I don’t like the idea of going to jail.  I fully understand that I violated the conditions of my release from the charge from 2016, and by doing so I put myself in this position – where they can choose to impose my 1 year jail sentence and lock my ass up.  I am not sure if they will actually try to send me up for the full year, or if they will want me to do a 7 day “hold” – of which I have already done 3 days – or what will happen.  I have a terrific attorney, who is especially skilled in drug charge cases, and I am going to give her a call tomorrow and see what she thinks she can get them to agree to.

I’ve been going to Groups now – which qualifies as treatment as required by the conditions of release – since last March.  Prior to that I did individual therapy and got myself clean, kicking the habit back in October 2016.  I have been having regular urinalysis tests done every week, which prove that I am clean.  So, I have to gather documentation of those things, plus a letter from my employer, as well as from a couple of other people like my HIV case worker and probably someone else who knows me personally that will write me a letter of support.  I am hoping that by showing those things to the judge; showing him/her that I have been clean and sober and am doing what I am supposed to be doing that I can get a favorable decision to let me continue being out on bail conditions.

Then there’s the new charge.  Fuck.  I am so angry with myself for ever getting it; for ever even thinking that I could get high just once and it would be alright.  Those thoughts and my acting on them are what put me in this very dangerous position now.  I am really not sure what the punishment will be, seeing that this is a second offense 13 months after the 1st offense.  I can only show them what I am doing, and hope that they will give me probation for this charge.  Meaning that I will have to continue treatment (which I intend to do regardless of all of this) and that I will have to report to a probation officer on a regular basis.

None of this is fun.  I regret my mistake very much.  And I am aware of the “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time” aspect of this.  Of course I do not want to go to jail, but I do know that there is a chance that that is what will happen.  I most likely wouldn’t do a whole year, but I could do 9 months with good behavior.  That would seriously suck.  It would literally ruin my life at this point.  I would lose everything I have worked so fucking hard to put into my life.  I would probably lose my home, my job, my vehicle, the trust of my family, friends, and more.  I would be separated from my dogs.  THAT would really, really get to me bad.

I’m not sure what else I can do to show the courts that I am seriously better off not being jailed.  That I am a productive and upstanding citizen who is contributing to my community.  Locking me up would only serve to punish me, cost the taxpayers, and cause losses to the local economy and community.  It would be senseless, but I KNOW it is the law and is a decided possibility.  No matter how good I am, I broke the law – twice.  And now I am in trouble and will have to pay for my fuck ups in some way that will satisfy the state.

I am currently free on $1000. bail.  That may work in my favor.  And I served 3 days; which also will work in my favor, so I can only hope the judge is in a mood to consider my position on the day of my court appearance.  If not, I will be spending Thanksgiving and most likely Christmas, my birthday and 8 months of 2018 in jail.  Fuck.

I feel a bit like a failure, but I am trying not to be overly hard on myself.  I know that recovery is a process, and that relapses do happen sometimes.  Nevertheless, I am very ashamed that I let myself get caught up in this again.  I have learned a pretty valuable lesson, and I won’t ever touch anything illegal again.  Nope, I’m too old for this bullshit and too old to be doing jail time with mostly kids half my age.  Those 3 days I was literally the oldest person in the group that was in there with me.  I don’t want my life to be like that; threatened by jail time and legal issues.  It’s not what I signed up for, and I will do everything in my power to repair this fuck up and move on with a good, clean living kind of life.

My bestie and I haven’t been hanging out much since the “incident”….I think she’s kind of fallen off her wagon and she’s staying away because of it.  That is really the only reason she wouldn’t come around more.  We have talked a bit on the phone, but not as much as usual and there have been days that have gone by with no word from her for a few in a row — very unlike her.  I can’t risk my own sobriety though.  So if she is using again I don’t want to be part of it; see it or be near it, so she’s best to stay away.

Drugs can really fuck up life.  I wish I had never started dabbling in them as a teenager.  My brain wasn’t fully formed and I developed an addictive disorder.  So for the rest of my life I’ll deal with it.  I’ve been dealing with it for what feels like eternity already.  At least I can recognize it and understand that I have a problem.  And I know all the “right” things to do, I just have to stay completely on the defensive and very focused on staying clean.  I can do it; it may not always be fun, but I can do it.

I’ve always been very honest in my blog.  That’s why I am even writing about this hear.  Plus, it’s what is going on in my life right now and since I’ve written a couple of blogs about it previously I felt I should let you, my readers, know how this situation is progressing.

Everything else has been going very good.  I’ve been spending time with my mother, trying to assure her that I am going in the right direction with things.  I’ve been working steadily, 5 days a week now, and going in at the crack ass of dawn every morning.  I still have my weekends to myself, and have been getting alot done around the homestead.  Things are ready for winter, now it’s just got to get cold here – it’s still unreasonably warm temperature wise.

I put 2 new tires on the truck, fixed the shot headlight and got it all ready for the annual state inspection due this month.  I also got the 4 wheel drive fixed (I may have mentioned that previously) and it’s running great.  So it should get me through the winter much better this year.  All I have left to do on it is an alignment, which I have an appointment to get done next Wednesday afternoon – if things go as planned.

I’ve been checking out the thrift shops and cruising around the back roads of Maine and New Hampshire checking out the fall colors and that’s been a lot of fun and very relaxing.  I’ve done it mostly by myself, with my dogs of course, and the solitude of driving around on a beautiful sunny fall day is so quieting to my soul.

So, that’s my life this week folks.  I’m just hanging in there and trying to keep it all together.  I hope you all are doing well.

Peace.  ~MB

2017-11-07 05.30.34

Rough Sunday…

It’s Sunday and I’ve felt really down and depressed all damned day.  I just re-blogged a post from Sam Dylan Finch of LetsQueerThingsUp.com, and he really nails it with some great advice and suggestions on how to help yourself when you’re feeling out of whack like I am today.  I even checked out the tele-therapist he suggested, TalkSpace and had a short conversation about rates with them….it’s basically $156 a month for the plan, or $39 weekly billed by the month. Too rich for me today, I just finished paying all my bills and bringing things current so I don’t have much left to be spending on tele-therapy this week.  But, I will be considering – and probably subscribing – this in the future.  I have a difficult time making my weekly appointment with my face-to-face therapist, I’ve missed the last 3 weeks actually and need to give her a call soon.

I’ve been going to my Groups: Recover Together meetings every Wednesday (except when I was away) and I depend on that group therapy and the Suboxone script every week.   I am switching up to Tuesday this week because my best friend also attends Groups and I am having a hard time really focusing on my own personal recovery while worrying about her.  I also find that I can’t really share like I should with her in the same group.  As things stand right now I haven’t heard from her in about 3 days, which makes me very suspicious that she’s fallen back into using.  I tried calling a few times and it went to voice mail after a half dozen rings, so then I started texting but got no reply.  I’ve tried every day, but no response. That makes me super upset.  We are very close – or we were and we even got clean together a year ago on her birthday.  She is usually part of my every day, we talk or text several times daily.  So her ghosting me is a bad omen.

Now there’s been another mass killing, this time in a Baptist church in Texas.  Twenty-six people dead and many injured.  THIS kind of shit has GOT to STOP!  America is becoming very known as the land of mass murder.  Our gun laws are ridiculously lax and our government is control by the NRA (National Rifle Association) and their massive money.  This latest shooting, while it’s horrible, hasn’t been on the news much.  We’ve become complacent, it’s become part of the fabric of life here.  And it’s very sad, and angering.

I must get some sleep.  It’s been a truly troubling day.  I’m hoping that some of the stuff that Sam Finch brought to my attention with his blogs and website will be helpful, but right now I am too tired to do any more today.  I am hoping for a good night of deep sleep and to rest my tired brain.

Peace.  ~MB

 

Navigating the Landmines

Yes, I’ve been moving carefully this last week.  Making damned sure that everything I own is legal and I’m not going to get into any type of trouble…like even get stopped for a traffic infraction.  I’m knuckling down hardcore, and I think it’s making my bestie a bit uncomfortable.  I’m serious, I want nothing to do with anything that would put me at risk for going to fucking jail.

Put two new tires on my truck, which obviously has a front end alignment issue cuz it’s eating the insides of the tires.  Scheduled it for an alignment next Wednesday morning.  I changed the headlight that was out myself.  That’s a no-brainer, removed and replaced the low beam bulb and reinstalled the headlight fixture; took me all of 10 minutes. So it’s 100%, will definitely pass this month’s required yearly vehicle safety inspection and now that the 4 wheel drive is also working once again I should do well through the winter with it – which was my goal.  And if I get stopped everything is in order, current registration, insurance card is up to date, and vehicle is inspected.  I am wearing my seatbelt even – it’s actually a law here, but I often don’t wear it around town.  If  I get stopped it will be for speeding – which I am trying NOT to do either!

We had one hell of a Nor’ Easter type storm here early in the week.  I was without power here at the house for a couple of days.  Some peoole in the state, about 70,000 still have no power now, 5 days later, mostly the more rural areas that had worse damage from the 75-80 mph winds.  We got about 3″ of rain, and we are STILL below normal for rainfall!  What a year weather wise, it’s been a truly weird one.  Today is Nov. 3, and it was almost 80 degrees here.  Ridiculous.  Global warming is REAL.

I’m gonna make this short tonight, I need sleep.  I just wanted to check in here and let you all know I made it through the week unscathed!  No major events!  I got things handled, stayed out of trouble, stayed away from bad influences and am on the right road.  The last 2 weeks showed me I was fast headed it the wrong direction temporarily…but I’ve re-negotiated things and I’m doing quite well.

Thanks very much to all of those who made comments and sent me texts and emails.  I do appreciate your support and encouragement!  Love ya all!  …more to come this weekend!!!

Peace!  ~MB