Twenty-One Years Ago

FIRST – 21 years ago, on 9/11/2001, I stood on the open 2nd floor of the barn we were building at the farm I owned with my former partner. I had just heard about the first plane and I thought that we were entering WW3. David and I climbed down the ladders and headed inside the house where we joined Nancy and watched live TV coverage as the 2nd plane hit the other tower. Then the Pentagon. Then the field in Pennsylvania. Stunned, sick to our stomachs, and fearful we all started calling everyone in our respective families. Cell phone lines were jammed, there was trouble getting through to some people as everyone in America was doing the exact same thing in that moment. In that moment the world stood still; stock still. Every life in America changed on 9/11/2001. From those harrowing moments on we knew of “life before” and “life after” America was attacked by terrorists hell-bent on killing as many Americans as possible as quickly as possible.

Almost 5,000 people died that day. And many more became victims as illnesses from the contaminated sites where they were working so hard to find survivors; rescue the living and retrieve the dead, slowly killing them months and years later. Every living American was affected that day. Those who would be born after that fateful day would read about it, maybe someone would try to explain. But no one could ever put into words exactly what happened inside of each of us; how we felt, how we cried and what our worlds were like before that day. Many things we are now used now were not even thought about before the planes hit those towers and souls ceased to exist. Things changed.

Like everyone that day, I was confused, then super sad as I watched lives being snuffed out in real time, then angry as fuck at those who perpetrated the crimes against America that day. We stopped barn construction that day and the barn went untouched for the following couple of weeks, as my partner and I were as stunned and unsure of what was going to happen. Was our country going to war? Who did this and why? Were other places at risk? What the fuck is happening???

It’s a day I will certainly never forget. If you were conscious there’s no way you could forget. It was a pivotal moment in our country’s history, in world history and in our personal lives.

Americans pulled together over 9-11. Our country was at risk. We knew we had to show solidarity.

The next major historical moment in our history would happen 20 years later, on Jan. 6, 2020 when an insurrection against our country was spawned by an egotistical man who could not accept that he lost an election fair and square. He had been working diligently for the previous 5 years to tear us apart, to get us fighting against one another; destroying the fabric of American pride piece by piece. It’s a well-used tactic that Hitler and Mousellini both used when they decided to rip their own countries apart out of greed and power hunger. Trump studied it well. And here we are…our democracy is now at risk. It’s time for us ALL to come back together as American people and fight to save our country from the evil within this time.

There’s a lot more to say, but I need a break.

Pay attention, shit is about to get very real across this country. It’s no longer just one man, he’s built a fascist army of red hats, his MAGA Red Army, who are working at his will to help him become King. We are all just considered to be collateral damage at this point – unless we pull together and do whatever each of us can do to fight back against them. Speak up. Vote. Do not stay silent, that just gives them your permission to continue their behavior in your presence. WE do not have to accept this. WE out number them and love is always greater than hate. Good will prevail.

~MB

20 years of trauma…and it’s not over

I’m sure you remember where you were at 9:37 am on 9/11/01. I know I do. That moment and the hours that followed, the days that the pile smoldered and you could feel retaliation starting to be more mumbled about. As we each were frozen momentarily in our tracks during those horrific fully televised first moments of the planes hitting the towers, then the falling of those towers – straight down every single one of us changed in those moments. A feeling of collective vulnerability first, we had been attacked full on and all we could do was watch as events unfolded, 2997 the eventual fatality count.

Then the rising anger, calls for revenge and off to war we marched our soldiers…Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria..the middle east, thousands of miles away from home and doing a job no one before had been successful at or wanted to do. Britain tried 3 times, lost and went home every time. Russia, they’ve tried twice in recent history, only to pull out and go home. Why did we think we would ever have any more success in a country that does not want western government or influence? Democracy is not for everyone, and evidently it’s not wanted very badly in Afghanistan as we were shown when they dropped their American made weapons and ran from the Taliban.

In the last 20 years we poured buckets of cash into the war against terrorism. Trillions. Yet, here at home our infrastructure is pathetically tattered with no update in the last 50+ years, homelessness is outrageous, people are hungry, unemployed and sick without adequate medical care and our Congress cannot even get a $3.5 trillion dollar infrastructure bill passed. We’ll sit and allow our money to be squandered on needless war but NOT spend any good amount here at home taking care of our own country; improving our own infrastructure, bringing America fully into the 21st century. Yet we will try to nation build in other countries and not peep about the wasted costs.

People line Christopher Street during a gathering of the LGBTQ community and supporters protesting U.S. President Donald Trump’s agenda in Manhattan, New York, U.S., February 4, 2017. REUTERS/Andrew Kelly

Our politicians need a big fat wake up call. Democrats and Republicans alike. Democrats need to stop pussy-footing around and DO THEIR JOBS, discard the filibuster and move on with the business of rebuilding America from it’s neglect and from it’s abuse during the last administration’s time in office.

Republicans need to take a deep, deep look inside their party and DECIDE WHO THE FUCK they are and WHO they represent – oh and try developing an agenda that is not based on lies and cheating American voters, slamming women’s rights, installing inadequate people in all the wrong places, conspiracy theory, and made up bullshit about dems being lizard people. They party looks absolutely FOOLISH.

American citizens have been in a constant state of trauma response for the last 20 years. From the falling of the towers on 9/11/01 to the Texas abortion ban of 2021. We’ve literally been dealing with once crisis after another; one on top of the other, some thing repeatedly through the 20 years. Here we are now, 20 years later just having exited Afghanistan – albeit in not so graceful a fashion for the #1 fighting force in the world – in the midst of a huge heath crisis (covid) that has become a partisan political football. We have 30% of the country acting like children, attacking our capital, refusing vaccines, pushing for authoritarian rule and marshal law and enticing politicians to act like ogres who’s only goal is to end democracy in America.

On a daily basis we have trauma piled on us by what’s going on around us. Mass shootings at grocery stores, movie theaters, concert venues, barbershops, shopping malls, SCHOOLS, work places, and even government buildings. The virus keeps us all in this constant state of trauma limbo…where we are just itching for it to be over and don’t want to get infected! We wear our masks, socially and support President Biden’s 6 point Covid plan AND we fight with the anti-vax, denial and misinformation crowd. We are contending with a party that wants to limit voting rights, end Roe Vs Wade, and deport the Dreamers.

Don’t even get me started on the personal traumas, we’ve all had those as well whether related to what happened 20 years ago or to something totally personal, we all cope with some level of trauma response daily, we’re all still alive and kicking and this is a more difficult part of life in 2021. We can always keep hoping the future grows more calm and becomes more organized for all of our sakes.

((Hugs)) to all. ~ MB

F*cked up America Right Now

Trump diverted $9.8B from FEMA funding (Disaster Relief) to fund more child detention centers…WTF???

We have a HUGE hurricane taking aim at our east coast, Carolina / Virginia area, and he DIVERTS funds????  This man is MORE than a FUCKING MORON, he’s a complete imbecile and someone needs to get him out of that office, take his fucking phone away and break all his pens and pencils.  He should NOT be allowed to communicate with anyone.

AND our federal deficit has ballooned by $832B.  That’s a 32% increase under Trump.  Yeah, this is the idiot that gave his rich buddies a huge tax break so we could go further into debt as a nation.  He actually told Cohn to “print more money” to fund his deficit….yup, he really thinks it works that way.  And you conservative idiots actually elected this moron, with the help of Putin and Russia.

At this moment we have an impending crisis here with this incoming hurricane Florence.  Yet our “leader” is busy touting his own ego, telling us that losing 2,975 people in Puerto Rico was an “unsung success” and not understanding the magnitude of his stupidity.  He’s a toddler.  He has no mechanism for empathy or compassion at all.  Yesterday, the anniversary of 9/11/01, he arrived in Pennsylvania acting like he was at a fucking Trump rally.  No couth.  No respect for the dead or the suffering of the living.

Trump takes no responsibility, as former presidents have done when they were wrong or came up short on something.  He refuses to admit when he is wrong.  He lies constantly, and even his lawyers have worries of him telling lies to Mueller and the American people. It’s disgusting. It’s wrong.  It’s NOT American behavior at all.  This “man” is nothing short of a total buffoon.

Other frightening things to be angry about…

• Over 12,500 children remain in US custody in detention camps on our southern border.  This is the highest number EVER and is partly due to sponsors and parents being afraid to claim the children now because of their own fears of ICE.  What a vicious thing he has created in our immigration system.
• The official death toll for Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria 2017 stands at 2, 975 people.
• The Vatican and the Catholic Church is finally being called out on all of the massive cases of sexual abuse by clergy on mostly young children and vulnerable adults.  I want to remind everyone that sexual abuse is not a “bad habit” that can be arbitrarily forgiven, it’s a fucking CRIME and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.  Transparency will be the only healer from this for many people around the world.  The Vatican is hell-bent on hiding this whole thing from public view in fear of further tarnishing the reputation of the church – HA!  I say! HA!!
• DHS has quietly funneled $200M from various programs and departments, such as FEMA, to fund more child and family detention centers and ICE.  Sick fucks.
• Flint Michigan is now on day 1601 without clean drinking water.  Our govenment did this to them; poisoned a whole city and KNEW they were doing it.  We MUST find a solution for Flint and bring justice as well.
• Kolin Kapernick (sp?) is still on his knee…and I am still supportive of his protest.
• Nike saw a 31% jump in sales after the KK ads ran…despite the burning of shoes.
• The bumblebee has been designed “endangered”.

Well, that’s it for this angry blog.  I’m still watching Florence churn towards the Carolinas and it should make landfall overnight I believe.  The weather coverage has been really good on this one, I just hope we are as prepared as our officials lead us to believe.  Hard saying,  I just hope everyone has heeded the warnings – or written their name, ssn, and next of kin’s name on their forearms so we can identify the bodies after we sort it all out.  Anyone who is numb enough to challenge mother nature’s wrath in a storm the size of Florence better not be whiny afterwards!

Peace.  ~  MB

 

 

 

 

 

 

Solemn Memories of September 11, 2001

Today is Monday – September 11, 2017….the 16th anniversary of the bombing of the 9/11 attacks on America…US flags will be flown at half-staff today in remembrance.

I worked a few hours this morning and am home now…and I am remembering exactly where I was 16 years ago today when the first plane hit the Twin Towers in NYC…I was building a barn, and was standing up on the floor of the 2nd story or loft area, readying to put up the roof rafters.  Time seemed to stand endlessly still.  Then the second plane hit.  By this time I was in the house in front of the television watching it live…and I was crying.  All of those innocent people, on the plane, in the buildings…and then we hear that another plane has hit the Pentagon…more death and destruction…then the field in Pennsylvania…carnage.  Then the Twin Towers fell…this was hell.

I will never forget that day.  Or the weeks that followed as we tried to wrap our minds around what had happened, and why it had happened.  It was the our baptism by fire into the world of terrorism.  Pretty much up until 9/11/01 the citizens of the USA lived in a sort of world where we almost thought we were untouchable by outside forces.  We believed that “it would never happen here” in our own backyard.   No one would dare attack the United States directly….then it happened on September 11, 2001.  That very day our whole world changed; flipped completely upside down and would never be the same again.

For days I was glued to the television watching the live news casts for hours on end.  I couldn’t sleep, no one could.  People were missing.  People were severely injured.   And eventually we would learn that almost 3,000 were dead.  We were all devastated, as posters and notes to the missing were being tacked up all over NYC.  Families searched for loved ones, and some found them unharmed, some never heard from them again.  We heard about those trapped in the towers calling loved ones to say good-bye on their cellphones…unbelievably sad.

9/11/01 was a day that changed me.  It changed America.  It changed all of us.  We were not invincible.  We had been attacked; savagely attacked and cut to the core.  Everyone knew someone who was lost in the attacks, or knew of someone who was directly affected.  It’s an amazing thing, the way we are all so intertwined.  It’s the phenomenon that we are all connected within 6 degrees….or the 6 degrees of separation theory.  I’ve found it to be quite true in most instances.

Because of the attacks on 9/11/01 I have far more consciousness of living life in the moment, not passing up chances to learn new things, meet and know new people, and not to take it for granted that there will be a tomorrow.  I, like many, developed a deep rooted sense of prejudice against Muslims; one which I have worked hard to get over and change.  I admit it, at that time I blamed radical Islamic teachings and those who were part of that faith for the attacks.  Now, I know that it is a small percentage of Muslims that hate America and wish to attack us because of this hate.  I have worked to overcome my misguided prejudices, and to understand better.  I now have friends who are Muslim, and even a cousin who married a Muslim man and converted to his faith.  I no longer blame them all, but those 7 terrorists that carried out those senseless attacks on 9/11/01…I hope they are rotting in extreme hell.  And as we know, their leader Osam Bin Laden is DEAD, and hopefully he’s rotting in hell as well.

So, today, 9/11/17, I stop to remember, because we can NEVER FORGET that fated day in 2001, when the world stopped, and we all changed.  We must NEVER FORGET.

Peace.  ~  MB