Catching Up with Myself

 I have got to be some kind of stupid fucker. I have had to boot my former “best friend’ out of my house. She had been living with me for several months after she fell on hard times and had to have her knee replaced. I thought i was helping her, but turns out she was using the fuck out of me and abusing my kindness. She was lying to me, doing prohibited things in the house and costing me a fortune. I finally hit my limit while my girlfriend was here over 4th of July holiiday, when the idiot caused a scene in front of my girl. THAT was the final straw. I had to tell her to leave. I couldn’t have that in the house with my girlfriend and her 4 yr old daughter here, it just wasn’t right. I had asked this person NOT to cause me any trouble while my girl was visiting, and I’m really surprised that she did…but then again, maybe I also expected it subconsciously.

So, back to the solo living the Butch bachelor life once again…not really “i” as I DO have a girlfriend who I am very much in love with and to who I give my loyalty, but I am living solo in southern Maine…girlfriend is in Texas and we do see each other quite frequently. She flies up to Boston about every 6-7 weeks, and I have been down there once with 2 more tripsy coming this summer and fall. We try to have a pre-planned date for the next visit before we end each visit.  That way we find that we both have something nice to look forward to and we can plan what we want to do for activities if we want to be out of the house. Some days we love to just hang around the house and chill all day…yup, you know that lesbians invented Netfix and chill!! 

I will be down in Houston area the first 10 days of August. I am so looking forward to a nice extended visit there. And I have grown so attached to her daughter that I am excited to spend time with her also. She’s such a great kid, and she’s starting to learn new things! It makes my heart very happy. My girl is such a terrific mother, and being the mother of a Rett syndrome girl is not easy – physically,mentally or emotionally – thus it puts me in total awe of my girlfriend. She says it was a total mess at first when they got the diagnosis (baby was like  16 mos old) but she did the work and is taking it one day at a time, which is all any of us should do anyway! She’s a great mother, a wonderful lover and a superior girlfriend! MmmmMMmmmmMMM!

I’ve been changing up my habits and days. Stopped watching General Hospital soap opera everyday because it was just wasting my time and making me anxious. It’s been almost 2 weeks now, but you know how soap operas are…you can watch once a year and be in the loop. I am also doing my day on a schedule instead of winging it; getting up on a regular schedule, doing my morning tasks and working the plan for the day. It’s all helping keep me focused, strong and working toward good always. I feel like losing the roomie was a really good thing for me. I was falling into a major depression and not attending to much of anything.

I’m feeling a LOT better now. It’s like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again. I don’t have to deal with her criticizing me all the time, pointing out all m faults and short-comings. I don’t have to wonder why she’s hiding in her room sleeping 22 hours a day, never doing anything productive. I let her behavior get on my nerves and depress ME…not a good thing at all.  Glad it’s finally OVER.

Poor Nola had to have a dental and 5 teeth pulled on Wednesday. She’s not veryhappy with me or about the pain in her mouth right now. I am hoping that by tomorrow she will be better. I finally got out a pet syringe and gave her 4 full barrels of water – about 16 ml – and a teaspoon of wet, soft dog food with a half a pain pill in it. I am hoping that will make her feel a little bit better tonight.

She hasn’t eaten anything since Tuesday night, before the surgery on Wednesday morning. If she doesn’t eat by tomorrow around noon I will have to take her back and have her checked.

Friday 7-12-19

Nola got up and ate this morning! I only gave her half a portion and she ate it right up! I gave her a half pain pill again about 10am. By mid afternoon – 4pm she wanted more food and was pretty perky! I fed them early and we took a ride up to my sister’s place and looked at her flowers. She has an extremely gorgeous butterfly bush!

Not sure why at the weekend will bring…going to a party on Saturday up at my cousin’s place. Got a few things to get done here, and the dogs to keep me company. We’ll see what happens!

peace ~MB

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8 thoughts on “Catching Up with Myself

  1. A friend of mine is in a long distance relationship and they have regular movie dates where they pick a movie (or tv show, whatever) and then by syncing their start times (they both hit the ‘play’ button at the same time, and ‘pause’, etc) they watch the movie together. They text/phone/facetime/skype throughout, so they’re having real-time conversations as well. 😀 … I joined them once, (all three of us in different places) when it wasn’t a ‘date’ and we had a blast! 😀

    Glad the house-guest from hell is gone. 🙂 … may she find what she needs elsewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seeing that you are heading back down to Houston, have you all thought of or been down to Galveston for a visit? There is a lot to do down there and with the ocean breeze it might make the muggy August heat in Houston a little more bearable. I think a 4 year old might enjoy the ferry ride ride or even shopping on the strand. For me Hendley’s Market on the strand has always been a favorite place to visit. And nothing bad can come from a walk along the beach looking for seashells.

    Liked by 1 person

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