Fake F*cking News America

Fake News.  It’s a term we hear EVERY DAMNED DAY here in America.  It’s a new kind of term, one developed by the current MORON occupying our Oval Office: Donald J. Trump.  What DJT actually “means” by screaming or tweeting “FAKE NEWS” is that the news is actually TRUE, but it’s in disagreement with what he WANTS people to believe.  It’s sick, and it’s completely CRAZY.

Our great journalists and reporters bring us the news and reliable, honest news agencies stand solidly behind them, yet our “President” has the audacity to deny actual FACT BASED reporting of events, conversations, e-mails, TWEETS, and photographs, videos and audio recordings.  The man is full-on batshit crazy!!!  He’s working for Russia, it’s obvious, and cajoling with mobster-style attorneys, racist pig lobbies, like the NRA and the RNC.

He’s taken money from foreign governments, and may possibly be illegally occupying the White House due to direct Russian assistance.  White House bought and paid for in Rubles.

The political landscape in the United States right now requires about 4 of the 2’x3′ Walmart white-board material, all glued (or taped) together and that’s the kind of surface you would need to lay this out – if you use rather small photos – I can’t imagine what the FBI’s board looks like on this Cohen case alone!?!!!  It’s become a giant ball of fucked-up shenanigans!

Watching the newscasts is like watching a reality TV show, or a really, really deep episode of Law & Order and Scandal all balled together.  It’s disgusting and shameful to the American people.  THIS is NOT what we wanted, or expected when we held our 2016 presidential election.

It’s been about 2 weeks since I typed the above paragraphs, and things have continued to rapidly decline -as if it wasn’t already bad enough – here in the USA.  It’s just crazy and out of control.  Our government is no longer “governing” but is spending all of it’s energy destroying our country, fighting amongst themselves, stealing from the tax coffers and creating complete mayhem in the press.   It’s fucking scary.  It’s NOT right or normal.

I fear that we are in far more serious trouble here than ANY of us realize or think.  People are becoming numb to the news coverage or having trouble believing what is right and what is wrong, depending on what news outlet they choose to watch.  The government has the Trump channel now and Fox News to spread they hate and propaganda.  Just like Nazi Germany decades back….what the fuck America???? What the holy fucking hell are we going to do about this?  Are we really going to allow the white supremacist, bigoted Nazi fucks in our White House and around the country, run the show now?  Are we really going backwards in time and humanity here?  WTF???

America in Crisis

American Flag

The Republican party of the United States of America (GOP) is retiring, resigning and being thrown out like trash at an alarming rate; flinging the doors open wide for the Democrats who will most likely be replacing them and taking over Congress and the Senate.  Our House is on fire, and the rats are running.

I have some fairly liberal views, yet part of me is also conservative.  I’m more conservative when it comes to budget issues, the military, and protection of our homeland, but absolutely liberal when it comes to issues of environmental protection, renewable energy strategy, healthcare for all, and having a transparent, ethical governmental body.  Some of me is even Socialist…we SHOULD all care and take care of one another – no one benefits from isolationism, classism, economic bullying or closed borders.

The world can see that right this moment my country is in a state of chaos and public crisis.  We are a country divided.  Divided by race, economics, religion, sexuality, social status, and a myriad of other cultural issues.  Our leadership has deteriorated beyond what we ever imagined possible.

Our infrastructure is in a state of decay, crumbling and killing people.  Our national debt has skyrocketed into the trillions.

Farmers’ crops are rotting in the fields of California due to lack of migrant farm workers due to their fear of our government and the government’s cruel immigration policy enforcement.  ICE agents lurk in bus stations and local parks.

Eighty thousand “Dreamers” live in fear and limbo, not knowing if tomorrow they will be deported to countries that they know nothing about and have never even seen to remember, countries that are at war-torn, impoverished, crumbling and ruled by corrupt leaders, gangs, and drug cartels.

Our military is being spread around the globe, fighting in places that none of us have ever even heard of in some cases.  They’re being forced to the Mexican-American border to assist with what some think is a “crisis” of people flowing by the millions across our borders – this is NOT true, actually illegal border crossings are at a 40 year low and our current 16,000 border patrol agents are doing a remarkable job in successfully apprehending illegals more now than ever before – because they have better tools to do so!  NOT because crossings are up!

It has been proven beyond a doubt that the Russians interfered in our 2016 election processes, not only in our presidential election but in about 31 state ballots as well.  Yet, there was $125M set aside to deal with this issue, and to date not ONE PENNY has been spent to do so.  THAT is a crime all by itself!  Someone should be held responsible for that lack of action.

Cyber-security is a joke to America.  There is NO cyber-security.  Our power plants are at risk, water systems are vulnerable, electrical grids could be taken down in a nan-second, and even our personal information has been pirated by Cambridge Analytica via Facebook to the tune of over 87 million peoples’ profiles.  Cambridge Analytica is the company that was hired by Trump to aid in his election campaign.  Coincidence?  I think not.

We currently are living under the rule of a man who believes that being “President” of our country means that he is above the law, untouchable, and can do anything he chooses without repercussions or consequences.  He does not even have a vague understanding of our country’s Constitutional articles, amendments or laws.  Now, he could depend upon assistants, advisors, aides, and attorneys for guidance, but instead he has chosen to dismiss, fire or force the resignation of almost all of them.  He tells us he doesn’t need a National Security Advisor because he can advise himself – a man who received 5 draft deferrals and who has NO military experience whatsoever.  And who does not read; who does not like reading so chooses not to read but to listen to a very biased, shadowy news station on his television set.  His idea of “governing” is to send out harassing messages via Twitter on a daily basis, usually starting at 4am every day.  No one can control him.  He refuses to listen to anyone, takes no advice and is belligerent in making the point that he is always “right” about everything.  He admits no wrong, ever.

This man is racist, sexist, a misogynist, unethical, immoral and just downright rude.  He has NO “people skills” at all.  He believes women are inferior beings to be used for sex and to wait on their men.  Any woman who challenges him politically is instantly on his Twitter shit list and he will harass and degrade her forever.  His opponent in the election that he stole in 2016 is the prime example.  He mentions her almost every day on Twitter, always in very demeaning terms and with vitriol and hatred.  He’s obviously very threatened by smart women and wishes to silence all women as a result.

There are not enough hours left in my night here to go on and explain all of the other unbelievable, crazy, chaotic, vulgar and consequential nonsense that is happening here in America right now.

I think I have made my points above and that you, dear reader, get the gist of what I am trying to convey.  We are in trouble.  And the leadership that is currently running this country is destroying it quickly, more and more so every day.  All of those in positions of publicly appointed leadership (Congress, Senate, Cabinet members, Department Heads, Governors, etc) seem to be frozen in time.  They either cannot or will not take action to save us.  But they are streaming out of Washington DC to save their own asses by the hoards, leaving a leadership vacuum in their wake.

No one knows what to do, or how to control our lunatic “President” who’s positioning himself to become America’s first Dictator.

So, if you live in another country and you ask your American friends why we are letting him destroy our country, please remember that we are not “letting” him do anything.  He has basically got us all hostage.  His dispersal of hate, his corruption, immoral behavior and lying rhetoric have us torn in half and unable to convince our representative to go against him in any way.  Russia is pulling his strings, that we KNOW this and it is obvious to us all.  We march, we write, we call, we march some more….we are screaming and hollering at the top of our lungs. all to no avail.

It’s very frustrating, scary and even dangerous for many of us.  But, we are Americans.  We’ve been through hell and back before.  We will overcome this somehow.  We will find our way out of this mess, it’s just going to take some time and perhaps a lot of pain – for every American, whether they know it, acknowledge it, or not.

These are very trying times.

Peace.  ~MB

Crazy Spring Feelings

I get crazy for her some nights, that urge just won’t quit.  I lay flat on my back, which is how I sleep anyway, stretch out and try to imagine…oops, did I turn off the stove…? Fuck.  And, yes, I generally get up to check if that thought, or a thought about the heat being turned down crosses my mind.  After getting back up to check on things at least once, I settle into my bed, one dog laying by my side and the other laying on my chest.  This is how I sleep every night.  I’m a back sleeper, flat on my back.  I wake myself laughing quite often, and can manipulate my dreams if I try hard enough…it’s a gift I believe.

I got up this morning, turned on my computer and resumed watching a movie that I had started last night – before my eyelids wouldn’t stay open.  The movie was “Below Her Mouth” and is very erotic, sexy and one of the best lesbian movies I have seen done.  Generally when you watch any movie with two women getting it on it’s staged and done by straight men, thus it’s not realistic or true to form.  THIS movie was very realistic, true to form and a great depiction of lesbian sex.  Didn’t look fake at all, which made it even hotter.  So, if you’re looking to get yourself a bit sexually aroused this weekend, check out “Below Her Mouth” on Netflix.  I can just about guarantee you won’t be sorry!

The high winds last week got so bad one night that it blew my bird feeding station pole down, and it’s anchored by a piece of marble…so it has weight, but the wind was so ferocious that anything without deep roots was flying around.   Luckily, I only lost one feeder.  My finch tube feeder was crushed by the pole when it fell.  I just put everything back together and the local birds are now happily snacking once again.

Spring is very slow coming here in Maine this year.  It’s April 7th and it’s 38 degrees, windy, but sunny.  It’s just been a weird ending to winter for us.  Keeps snowing, about every other day we get snow.  None of it is “sticking” or building up; generally it’s gone in a few hours of sunshine.  But it’s annoying as fuck.

I am anxious for warmer days, sunshine and gardening!  I have even mapped out my property in planning out my gardens for 2018.  I do love my gardens, and being outside working in them.  Even weeding has a sort of zen feeling to it for me.  And I’ve been watching some DIY videos about prepping the vegetable garden soil for better growth and production.  I haven’t added compost to that garden since I built it the first spring I was in this house.  So, compost is being mixed in this season, so things should grow good.  And I am planning a long garden down the side of the trailer, coming out about 6′ or so, I bought a bunch of wildflower seeds and am going to prepare that area and over-seed it with a mix of four types of seeds: hummingbird attractor, flowering perennials, flowering annuals, and a butterfly mixture.  This next coming weekend it’s supposed to be warmer, so I am planning to do some outdoor work; raking, trimming and laying some stones I have procured from the nearby quarry.

April 10, 2018.

My girlfriend and I are doing really great, despite the distance.  My heart is really happy about this.  It’s strange to take such a big chance on love again at 56…I seriously thought that this part of my life was pretty much finished.  I never expected to meet Bones.  She’s changed my whole outlook on some things, and I was obviously very ready to make the changes.  I don’t exactly know where we are taking things, it’s complicated in a few ways.  She has a life in Texas, a business and a child.  Right now we are just trying to stay connected daily, enjoying the moments, and not making any future plans.  Living and taking things day-by-day, as they come.  She’s coming back in May to spend some more time with me.  And she’s bringing her daughter to meet me.  I am really looking forward to this next visit!

I’ve really gone out on a limb with this woman.  I’m pleasantly surprised at how well things are going and how deeply she’s affected me.  I’m allowing her past many walls and letting her through the barriers to my heart.  It’s been scary, but worth every wince. She just looks at me and I melt into a puddle inside…the feeling is outrageously delicious.  I long for her touch when we are apart; and I know she’s feeling it too.  That’s the best part.  I feel for people who settle for anything less than this feeling, it’s the best feeling in the world to connect with another person on this level of depth, emotionally, physically and sexually, it’s just phenomenal.

I have opened a new website for anyone interested in Butch-femme connections and conversation.  It’s just getting off the ground.  It’s a membership only site where you join up and create a profile.  I am going to link it here in this post.  Anyone who would like to contribute, participate or even just lurk around until they feel more comfortable, is welcome to join.  The site has been created for women who prescribe to the Butch-femme dynamic mostly, but there are forums for other things as well such as LGBT news and articles.  The site is called Butch-Femme-Perspectives.  Please join me!  I feel that with some effort on all of our parts we can make the site pretty damned cool!  We’ll add and subtract from it as necessary, creating our own unique safe place on the web.

Alrighty, let me wrap this up.  The day is burning away, I need to get some things done outside and am lingering inside just waiting for it to warm up a tad.  Hell..I could be waiting til Thursday at this rate!  Haha…

What does your week hold in store for you?  Any great things happening?  What are you looking forward to?

Peace.    ~MB

 

 

 

Butch Desire

Butch desire is to fem hunger what peanut butter is to jelly; what ying is to yang.

I recently read a really GREAT blog about “hunger”; specifically fem hunger. You can read it here, which is my previous cross post about this blog, and will connect you with this wonderful blogger. The writer is a fantastic femme, who writes with elegance and ease about this topic and many others concerning Butch-fem relationships and dynamics. As with anyone, I don’t always agree with her, but I have found that she quite often stimulates me to write more!  I truly value her opinions and perspectives.

This article she wrote about fem hunger has made me think much about what it is that I, as a Butch who desires that fem hunger, feel and how I respond to that hunger.

Butch desire is the deep, almost primal, need a Butch feels when acknowledged by a femme. It’s the riveting eye contact that conveys the message that they want more; they want to take it all. Butch desire runs deep in the body, and is activated like an electrical current, making the heart race and the breath come in heavy sighs. It’s that desire to be wanted and needed exactly as I am – Butch and proud – not to be told to “tone it down” or hide in any way.

It’s the unending need to fix everything; to make everything good and right for her femme; to treat the femme like the queen of her world, as it should be. Then it’s the aching need to take what is hers; to conquer and devour every savory morsel of femininity exuded by her fem lover, and to do it with force and precision.

“I want you as a woman, not as a man; but I want you in the way you need to be, which may not be traditionally female, but which is the area you express as Butch…….I make it right to want me that hard. Butches have not been allowed to feel their own desire because that part of being Butch can be perceived by the straight world as male. I feel I get back my femaleness and give a different definition of femaleness to a Butch as a femme.”
Amber Hollibaugh, “What We’re Rollin’ Around In Bed With” My Dangerous Desires

Butch desire is the raging need that fills my mind with visions of her, spread before me quivering and waiting for my touch, sometimes gentle and sometimes rough and demanding. It’s the ache in my entire body that is only stopped by her moans, that deep connection we make in becoming whole together, mind, body and soul. It’s her unbridled hunger for being taken and my overwhelming desire to claim her as my own. Butch desire is all of those things, plus much more. From the way it makes me lick my lips in anticipation, to the guttural noises I make as I find my release with her body quaking under mine.

That hardness; the rigidity of our closely guarded emotions, that we keep locked up safe behind our walls of protection, is also our vulnerability. When a femme sees momentarily behind the wall that we build, it’s an intimate and very exposed feeling for a Butch. We do not show our vulnerabilities readily, nor often. Some say we are damaged goods; that our lack of visible emotion and response is from some trauma – or from our “wanting” to be male – nothing could be further from the truth for a truly authentic Butch.  Femmes have a way of seeing through our thinner walls, and of reaching past those super-tender spots without threatening or damaging us.  This serves to heighten our desire; to fan the flames of heat and passion.

Never have I desired to be “male” – although standing to pee is very appealing – it never came to me to transition to the male gender. Femmes get this. They don’t push us to change, but accept us for who we are and how we represent ourselves in the world.  We are women who push the gender boundary and skew the binary; who look, feel and think a bit differently perhaps. There’s a thin line; a boundary of distinction, invisible to most and yet something that we are very keenly aware of as we move about our world.

Being a dominant Butch it’s often assumed that I take on a “male” role in any relationship.  While this has some truth to it, it’s not really that cut and dried; every Butch owns her own butchness – and what that is and how it plays in her life, daily.  Being Butch doesn’t stop when no one’s looking, it’s an authentic way of being in the universe. And it’s that combination of being female, yet very masculine that feels every so right to a Butch – and to her fem partner.  It’s what gives me life and joy in being.

When I am with people from outside of the gay community I am more keenly aware of my differences with them.  Whereas when I am with my counterparts I am much more relaxed and less guarded overall.  The more “mainstream” lesbian community generally frowns on the Butch-fem dynamic, lifestyle and those who partake in it’s beauty.  Sad for them in my opinion.  Lesbians seem to have a real tendency to be judgmental of other lesbians – at least that has been my own observation.  I see more lesbian on lesbian bashing than I care to see.

Personally, I don’t give much weight to their opinions, rude remarks, comments, or slurs of others – lesbian, straight, or whatever.  That’s their business; their own frame of thinking, generally constructed from within their own culture, community and situation in life.  People get hung up on what they do not understand; it frightens them, so they try to minimalize it however they can.  I find this to be a real form of “internalized” homophobia.  Preach about equality, but disrespect those who do the same things you do – just tweaked a bit.  That does NOT make much sense.  And perhaps me even saying this here doesn’t either, it’s MY own internalized phobia of occasionally worrying about what others may think.   And there I will leave it.

~MB