I have just had the pleasure of reading a most outstanding piece on Huffpost called “Redefining Butch-femme Relationships”, by Georgia Kollas, writer, Huffington Post blogger, and cultural observer. I loved it! It could not have been any better! I encourage all of you to give it a good read!
Also, Ms. Kollas is a self-identified as a femme, a “strong, badass” one at that! I love reading about the “dance” from a femme perspective as it’s obviously the opposite, yet the same as my own experience from my stance as a Butch.
To quote one favorite and much agreed with paragraph from Ms. Kollas’s article:
…We are yin and yang – seemingly oppositional forces that are actually complementary and interconnected. We offer a devoted appreciation for the gender expression of the other, an affirmation of intrinsic qualities that make us who we are. Each of us is unique, with our own blend of characteristics along a gender spectrum. We all carry both masculine and feminine aspects within ourselves.
I so agree that we are the “yin” and “yang” in each other’s worlds. We are the same, yet complete opposites that need on another for happiness and love. We, both identities, thrive on the energy that our opposite exudes. As a femme loving Butch, I am very strongly attracted to the softer essence of the femme, and to her fierce badass parts as well. It’s not just about the sex, it’s about the “big picture” that each of us has in mind. It’s about the sensuality, both strong and intriguing, that lures us to each other; to desiring to be in one another’s presence.
I’ve always heard the old “mimicking hetero” stuff, even from other lesbian identified people in my community. And it makes me chuckle to myself because that’s really not what Butch-femme relationships are at all. As a Butch I do not desire to be or to mimic a man; I am a undeniably a female person who is entrenched in masculinity from within my soul. I embrace my masculinity, and I love women who embrace their femininity with that same reciprocating enthusiasm – particularly lesbian identified femmes who find my Butch-ness appealing and attractive.
I appreciate the power of a femme; that alluring mystique that captivates my every thought when I am with her. I love the flirtations and the magic that happens within the Butch-femme dance. That magic fills my chest with pride; pride for being with such beautiful and sexy woman that makes my masculinity feel so perfect to me. There is just nothing akin to the exquisite dance that happens when we are connecting.
Another favorite line from Ms. Kollas writing,
I love butch–femme and the particular dynamic that exists when two people are firmly in their fullest expression of their gender and interconnected in a dance of complementary opposites.
I see femmes as precious beings; ones to be protected and to be loved deeply. As I run my fingers through her long hair, balling my hand into a fist and pull her head back to kiss her passionately it is actually she who controls that very moment, as it is she gives me that power. There is a power exchange in the Butch-femme dynamic that is fierce, yet so subtle and we feel it deep in our bones; spiritually, emotionally and sexually.
We know the deal, and we’re in-tune as we dance.
Kudos to Ms. Kollas on this wonderful article!