This past weekend was a pretty rough one for me. I didn’t do much. I had so much on my mind that I felt paralyzed and couldn’t focus on doing anything constructive. So I spend much of it watching TV, listening to news, surfing the web and hibernating in my house. I didn’t see a soul all weekend. I had planned to spend Saturday with my best friend, but she never showed…she’s been avoiding me. I suspect that she’s been using again and doesn’t want to hear any shit from me about it. That’s the only reason she wouldn’t be around like normal.
This morning I got up to go to work, went out to start my truck and it was iced up. So I started it and got the scraper out of the back and started scraping the windows. When I reached to open the driver’s door it was LOCKED. Fuck. And I had locked the house door behind me when I went out. So, I was locked out of the house AND the truck – which was running. I also had forgotten my wallet inside the house. But, I had my cell phone! Thankfully. I ended up calling my friend Linda and she came over. She has spare keys to my house and truck. In the end I got to work about 30 minutes late, but it was all good because I had called them to let them know. Lesson learned. I went to the hardware store after work and had a couple of spare keys made. I now have one outside in the lock box on the porch, and an extra in my key cabinet. I don’t anticipate pulling the same stupid stunt twice, but I’ll be prepared if I do!
I emailed with my attorney today. She says I won’t be going back to jail on the 21st when I go for my hearing. That came as a huge relief to me. She just advised me to keep myself clean and do everything I’m supposed to be doing. So that’s exactly what I am going to do. I have to get letters from my boss, my counsellor and my group therapy leader, as well as a letter stating I’ve had all negative urine tests (I am tested weekly), a letter from my doctor and as much documentation as I can rustle up that makes me look good. I’ll be working on all these things this week. I go to court for the hearing next Tuesday.
I’m supposed to go to court on the restraining order that I have on that guy I had let stay here. But I think I am going to drop the request for a longer order. He hasn’t bothered me at all, and I don’t think that he will. I think he’s pretty embarrassed about all that happened. So I’m just going to drop the issue and not put either of us through going to court over it. If he starts to bother me again I won’t hesitate to call the cops and push the restraining order issue to a full year.
I’ve been setting up my day-runner organizer book for 2018. Transferring important numbers and information to it. It’s going to help me stay far more on track with everything. I also picked up a new 7 pocket expandable file today for 2018’s receipts. I tend to keep impeccable track of most everything. That way if I need to refer back to a receipt for any reason I can locate it easily.
I signed up on www.AdoptafamilyUSVI.com to adopt a family in need in the US Virgin Islands or Puerto Rico today. I will be putting together care packages to send to them every couple of weeks. I had been looking for a way I could help, and saw this program on the news here tonight. I checked out the website, and encourage you to do the same! It’s pretty straight forward, you sign up and they assign you a family. The family gives you a “wish list” of small items they could use to make life easier for a few days. Seems like the least I can do to help out and maybe make someone a little more comfortable in those storm ravaged areas. They’re still mostly without power and drinkable water in both the US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.
Sad that our Fucking Moron “president” just ignores them and is so busy sucking up to Putin and Duterte, killing trade for the US and sucking money out of us citizens. I haven’t written much about him lately, but believe me I am watching his every move and can’t wait for him to be taken out. I believe Mueller will get him and his pack eventually.
The weather here in southern Maine has finally turned cold. It’s going down below 30 degrees tonight. I’ve had the heat on now for about a week and a half. I like it pretty chilly anyway, so I only set my thermostat at 65-68 during the day and drop it down to 62 at night. I like to sleep in the cool air with heavy blankets. The weight of the blankets seems to calm my anxiety and helps me fall asleep. Also I’ve added 10mg of melatonin to my night time ritual as well. That does seem to help. Sleep is always a bit illusive, no matter what I do. I’m pretty used to functioning well on about 4-5 hours of total sleep.
So, anyway, it’s been a rather rough few days, but I am in a pretty good mood tonight. I know things will get better; I’m going to MAKE them better. I’ve got the right attitude and am really focusing on improving myself personally and living better. I might have my down days, but overall I’m actually doing really well. I do think that being consistent on my medications has helped with that too.
Hope you are all doing well. Peace. ~MB