…Continuation from Last Night

I didn’t get much more than an hour of sleep last night at my friend Linda’s house.  The dogs did sleep pretty good though, and that was nice to see them so relaxed there.  They cuddled up to me snugly and zoned right off into la-la land.  Lulu was particularly concerned with how upset I was and I don’t think she liked seeing me so frustrated, angry, scared and sad all at the same time.  Tears fell down my cheeks, and she licked their saltiness; kissing me and trying to console me.

So, I got up this morning and had to take Linda in to her job because her car is on the fritz at the moment (transmission linkage I believe) so I made her ride over to my house with me before dropping her off to work.  We rode by the house because “his” car was parked at the house still, with the engine running – indicating to me that he was preparing to leave for work.  The guy is a lobsterman on a boat out of Kittery.  I did not want to go to the house while he was still there, so I took Linda to work and parked in the Dunkin Donuts lot and waited for 25 minutes before returning to the house.  When I got back here he was gone.  I quickly got dressed for work, fed the dogs and got them a water bowl and snack for in the truck.  I refused to leave them at home not knowing if he would return to the house and possibly harm them in some way.

When I came in to change I found that he had cleared out all of his clothing and personal care products from my house.  He had packed them in his car and was gone.  The little back room was totally empty, draws and all.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief, as you can surely imagine.  I put the dogs in the truck and headed to work.  They comfortably stayed in the truck (it’s an SUV actually, I just call it my truck. A GMC Envoy to be specific).  And while they were parked at my job I went out every hour to check on them and let them out every couple of hours to do their business.  It kept me from worrying about them while I was working.

I worked until 11am and headed home.  When I got here I cleaned some stuff out of my truck, including paperwork I had in there on the dogs where I had taken them to Petco to get their nails trimmed on Wednesday afternoon. I came into the house and went to put the paperwork away in my expandable file that is kept on my desk in the kitchen.  I reached for it and IT WAS GONE.  Immediately I knew “he” had stolen it.  I started looking around and discovered that he also took my checkbook, my little backpack (a Butch sort of purse I suppose!!! LOL), my address books, a file box, and upon looking further int the house I found my jewelry box that my mother had all her life and had given to me STOLEN too.  He had gone through my bedroom quite thoroughly, searching through my things – even my underwear draw was askew from him rummaging through it.  WHAT A FUCKING SCUMBAG THIS GUY IS!  I had NO idea he would ever do anything like this.

I now feel completely violated.  He had invaded my personal space, touched my most personal things, taken important documents, mail, bills, receipts, address books, password books, and every thing he KNEW was important to me and that I needed.

I’ve not been THAT angry since the breakup of my LTR back in 2008…the anger was palpable and my heart was racing, tears streamed down my face and I was yelling about him stealing all of my things.

I put the dogs back into the truck and headed straight to the local police station to file a formal report and try to get my stuff returned to me, or to press charges on him for robbing me. What he did amounted to breaking into my room and robbing me of personal property of value.  I was livid to say the very least, I don’t even know how to describe how fucking angry I was at that moment.

He had gone to his job and was out fishing and I knew it.  I knew his car was at the pier and my things were probably in the trunk of his car.  I reported everything to the police, wrote out a written report, discussed it all with an officer and he called the guy on the phone.  It went to voice mail.  The officer left him a message that he must return my things, that taking them was not legal and he needed to return them immediately to the police station.  The message, which he left while I was sitting there in front of him in his office at the station, was very stern and to the point.  GIVE MY SHIT BACK OR FACE THEFT CHARGES.

The officer then instructed me to go to the bank and cancel my accounts, open new ones and then go to the District Court House up in York, Maine and file for an order of No Harassment / No Trespass.  Basically, a personal restraining order that keeps him away from me, my property, my job and my home.  The order was granted, after I had to write a lengthly statement of how I was frightened for my well-being and for my life with this “guy” and I didn’t want him NEAR me in any way.  He is not allowed to call me, text me, or come within 100 yard of me at any time.  Violation will result in his arrest for failing to adhere to the court order.  It is good for 30 days, and then I have to go back to court for a formal hearing with “him” and explain to the judge why I want it to be extended to 1 year.  I can extend it to 1 year and then renew it as I feel necessary.  I’m hoping that I can get it extended for the year, I don’t see why there would be any problem.  I was very explicit about what happened with this drunken asshole last night at my house, explaining in detail how he threatened me, harassed me, assaulted me verbally and threatened physical assault.  I told about him passing out standing up int he back room and falling backwards onto the floor, then not understanding WHY he was on the floor.  Accusing me of attacking HIM and of beating him up!  OMFG…he obviously has “wet-brain” from the multiple years of alcohol consumption, it’s permeated his blood-brain barrier and had done brain damage ((take note anyone who drinks excessively, this CAN happen, and probably WILL happen to you too if you keep it up!!! He’s the prime example of severe alcoholism slowly killing someone)).  My statement was explicit and I asked for what I needed: protection from harm by him by keeping him AWAY from me.

While I was at the courthouse waiting for the judge to approve my restraining order the police officer called me.  “HE” had returned my things to the officer at the station.  “He” told the officer that “it was all a big misunderstanding” and the officer said he was like a dog with it’s tail between it’s legs; knowing he was a BAD DOG.  He kept saying it was a misunderstanding and a mistake.  Like taking my belongings was a “misunderstanding”?  How the fuck does THAT work?  He’s so fucked in the head!!!   But, at least I got my stuff back – or most of it.  He kept some of my mail and a pile of paperwork (bills mostly) and my house keys.

When I got home tonight the police were here in my neighborhood looking for me.  They had forgotten to give me my rolodex that he had taken and turned in to them.  He handed it to me and I told him I wanted the keys too, he said he would try to get them for me.  It’s now 11:50 pm and I haven’t heard anything….I am hoping the cop remember to go over to the flea-bag hotel where this indigent idiot is staying and ask him for the keys before he goes and gets copies made!!!  Regardless, I am changing the door locks and handsets tomorrow.  Also installing slide bolts on the inside, for when I am home and in the house I can lock it securely from the inside.  It will be harder to change out my dead bolt lock…I’m not sure if it’s necessary to change that too quite yet…maybe.

The policeman said that “he” had been served the NO CONTACT order and was aware he was to stay far away from me and not bother me at all.  “He” then told the cop that he wanted money back that he had paid me for the cable bill.  HA!  Fuck him!  I told the officer that the “guy” would have to file with small claims because I am not refunding him anything! The policeman agreed and said that is what he had told the “guy” when he mentioned wanting anything from me. I do NOT feel that I “owe” him a goddamn thing.  He caused me SO fucking much trouble, money, time, miles on my vehicle and a whole day of visiting police stations, court houses, and driving all around to take care of what HE had caused me.  Plus all the worry, fear and anxiety…What a user he turned out to be!  And a low life scum kind of loser too.

So, that’s where things stand with this “situation” now.  I have my home back, I have most of my stolen things back, and “he” is GONE from my personal space.  He moved back to the flea-bag local motel where the rest of the town drunks reside on a weekly rental basis in little, very decrepit rooms.  It’s too bad that anyone wants to drink so badly that they are willing to live like that and to continue to wreck themselves in that manner.

I relate to his “addiction” from my own addiction stand point, but I NEVER stooped that low, I never let myself get that bad that I compromised my living situation for the dope.  I never stole from a friend like he did from me.  I never invaded someones privacy like he did to me.  I guess maybe I am the lucky one.  I could just never let myself get that low.

This whole incident definitely was a huge “trigger” for me.  It made me want to use my drug of choice very much…but I resisted, and I conquered the demon – I didn’t slip and use.  I’m kind of proud of that,  I got through sheer hell without picking up.  That’s an accomplishment for me.  Hey, it’s been almost a year now….I’m doing too good to start sliding backwards now.  I never want to go back to that crap or have it back in my life.  And now I also remember WHY I quit drinking in 1992….thank my lucky stars I had the sense to give that up!!!

Ok, time to get some much needed rest.  Thanks to all of you that reached out to me in the last day about this.  Thanks for your care and concern, your comments and advice!  I appreciate every one of you!  Big love!

Peace.  ~MB

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5 thoughts on “…Continuation from Last Night

  1. This is an awful situation, I’m sorry MB. But I’m happy about a couple of things that turned out well. Thank goodness the cops actually helped you! They aren’t always helpful. And thank goodness you didn’t start using again. I hope you give yourself lots of congratulations for that. I’m glad you mentioned changing the locks, that’s a very good idea. Stay safe!

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  2. i’m so proud of you for not using, for standing up for yourself, for getting everything documented and to focus on how to keep yourself safe. This guy is going to get karmic paybacks. i know what it feels like to have your private things gone through, the sense of violation is very personal and direct. i’m so sorry you had a bad experience when you were clearly trying to help someone out. ❤ Hang in there.

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  3. so awful the amount of distress caused to you… I will be polite here and refrain from saying what I’m really thinking about this POS… but how repugnant, abusive, invasive and vile.
    I have a history with drugs as well so I have a lot of compassion for people dealing with it – but I draw the line when an addiction is causing someone to be abusive to others.
    well done on resisting temptation. this was an unbelievably distressing situation for you to be in so it speaks to your resilience and progress that you didn’t slip.

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  4. I knew things would work out and the authorities would be helpful. It’s a bit shit that you have to go back every year to face him and extend the restraining order, but that’s the best thing that can happen for you both at this stage. He will likely get offered a recovery program.

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