Solemn Saturday

Today is Corey’s funeral service.  I woke up sad, with leaky eyes, and feeling really a little insecure.  It’s going to be a rough day.  I will finish this blog after the services later today.

Corey died last week of a drug overdose. He had just gotten out of rehab for alcoholism and his heart couldn’t take the strain when he used.  It just exploded.  He was too young, at 52, and he had had a rough time of it in life.  Regardless, he was very loved and very loving.  The world will miss his kind soul.  Addiction is such a ruthless enemy and it’s killing so many good people here.

I had a pretty good week.  Spent a lot of time talking to my girlfriend and just chillin around the homestead.  I got some mums and planted them in my flower boxes for the porch railings.  I think I can mount them on the railings this afternoon when I return home.  If not today, I always have tomorrow.

I’ve been fighting my pain level pretty much all week.  Especially in my shoulders and hands.  Lately my hands are stiff and sore in the morning and it takes a little while and a lot of hand rubbing to make them work right.  I’m sure it’s just age and some arthritis I am feeling, but it still is uncomfortable.  I no longer take any pain medication, so it’s Tylenol or nothing.  My neck / c-spine has been very painful too, and I’ve got lidocaine patches I have been using for that.

The events of the past week here in the United State have been disturbing, to say the least, for everyone.  I am having trouble even putting into words what it feels like to watch as our government defends racists, white supremacists, white nationalists, and the KKK.  To hear our own President and other top political figures in his administration try to downplay the radical right marches and instead swing blame for disruption on the anti-hate protesters.  Our “President” is even fueling hate between citizens and the police departments of major cities in this fight.  He is causing great, great division here.

Today I attended a family funeral which happened to be held at the same time and in the same neighborhood as our local march of solidarity in the fight against racism and the KKK.  The protesters knew of the funeral and at my and his mother’s request were silently respectful as they passed our church where we were in the middle of the service.  I appreciated this very much.  While my heart was with the protesters I had to physically be with my family to show support and allegiance today.

As I was riding home I did hear the comment “they should all be arrested” eek from my father’s lips.  It was very difficult, but I managed to NOT freak out and say anything.  I have to remember that my Dad is an older white man, who supports Trump and has always not cared for Liberals…it’s just his stodgy old way.  I cannot change him, but I don’t have to “like” it either.  His remark just shows me that the division being fueled by Trump and his hateful people has permeated deep into families and communities.

I – like everyone else I just imagine – don’t know where this is all going to lead, or what the eventual outcome will be.  I wish for PEACEFUL protests and resistance to the hate and intolerance of our “POTUS” and the hate groups.  I realize that this is bound to just get worse before it gets any better.  If history is repeating itself, we all know this is headed toward a huge showdown of sorts.  Just when and where remains to be seen.  Something major will happen, it will either divide us further or draw us closer.  Let’s pray for the latter.







Hate Boils Over in the USA

This is what is going on here in the “land of the Free”
Our “president” is now actively and vocally defending white supremacist, white nationalists, neo-nazis, the KKK and the alt-right.  Yes, defending it.  He has gone on live TV, in front of the whole nation, and showed us – TOLD US – just who he is and what he represents.  He is an immoral, degenerate FUCK.
And he says he is “without regret” for any of his words, no matter who they hurt, scared or offended.  No Regret.  Think about that.
The White House is in complete turmoil.  They have a choice now, either they become part of this fold into the promotion of white supremacy or they have to go.  Trump has been called out, by name, by no fewer than 20 of his Republican comrades.
This is not a matter of Republican vs Democrat.  Nor a matter of left vs right.  This is a matter of RIGHT vs WRONG.  And you can either be on the right side of history, or on the wrong side with Donald J. Trump – the racist, bigot that sits in the Oval office eating fucking ice cream and tweeting hate around the internet.
Trump is a friend of David Duke.  A friend of the Nazi’s and the most hateful people and groups in our country.
His CEO’s have all abandoned his sinking ship.  After 9 of the quit today he suddenly tweeted that he was disbanding the councils, thus doesn’t need them.  Something that pleases Steve Bannon to no end!  What a loser.  They were distancing themselves from his racist rhetoric, plain and simple.  They realized that his views were so toxic and destructive that they could no be aligned with him, personally or professionally.
He has not moral or ethical standards.  The man-boy is a piece of white trash.
He is continuing to fuel the fire of this disgusting issue.  He is successfully dividing the country, very effectively.  We are being ripped apart.  And it hurts.
My country is in chaos.  We are at a tipping point.  Our democracy is in trouble.  We have a man in office who has “no regret” for inciting hate and violence among his own people; who actually encourages it!!!
I do not know how we will come out of this.  I don’t know what will happen here.   There is much argument going on.  I just had one with one of the guys who’s staying with me even.
I know people around the world are watching.  Please, KEEP WATCHING.  This will be used against us as propaganda in places like Russia, N. Korea, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and others.
I have been told that there are 13 alt-right rallies scheduled for this up-coming weekend around the country.  13.  WTF is happening???  I swear Trump and Bannon had this planned all along.  They are hell-bent on destroying America; on destroying Democracy.
The Joint Chiefs of Staff, our top military personnel, have stepped into this conversation as well.  All of the Chiefs have publically weighed in on this violence in Charlottesville.  All say they stand solidly against intolerance and hatred.  They are not “challenging” Trump, but challenging his stand on the issue and challenging his lack of values.  All condemn racism, extremism and hatred.  So, our military does not have the same view on this as our President.  Thankfully.  It is very RARE for any of our top military people to ever speak about political stuff, but they felt compelled because of the incredible severity of what is happening.
Trump’s words DO NOT reflect the majority views of this country and it’s good citizens.
And to quote CNN:
“While the paths forward remain very murky, what’s crystal clear is this: Trump won’t change. And on his current path, this is a presidency that will collapse around him.”
As I lay my head down tonight I pray that our country will survive another day of this destruction.  I pray #45 will resign.
Peace.  ~MB

And I don’t wanna miss a thing…

It’s a nice cool 61 degree morning here on the coast of Maine, albeit a rather overcast day.  The clouds gathering above me in the sky are heavy and full of rain – which will surely soon be pouring down upon my thirsty gardens and lawn spaces, thankfully.

I am up. I got up at 4:30am after a few short hours of sleep.  I’ve been having the most insane dreams lately.  I’m not sure if it’s med related, stress related or just that I am fucking weird.  Again last night I dreamed of being in the Army once again, and this time being deployed to control riots surrounding the Charlottesville white supremacist rally.  Yes, my dreams are overlapping into what is happening in real life here in America.  If I were able I would re-join the Army in a heart beat, but I’m aged out at 55.  Even so, I still dream of being in uniform again every now and then.  I often lament that I should have stayed my ass in the military until retirement.  But back in the mid-80’s when I finished my tour of duty the climate around being lesbian and in the Army was not good.  They were still in the midst of having monthly “witch hunts” and “round ups” of gays and lesbians to throw out of the service just for being who they were.  I narrowly avoided a couple of those round ups because I did not use my real name back then.  Off-post I had an entirely different identity; living stealth in order to maintain my position with the Army.  I did not want to have to explain a discharge that was other than honorable to my father – a man I feared and respected; a man who said I did not have the “balls to join” the Army…yeah, I was busy showing him what a damned good soldier looked like!

…and I digress…

I was saying, it is a fantastic start to my day here.  Life has been changing lately for me, as I mentioned briefly in previously posted blogs here.  I’ve been making changes, still growing and just relaxing more into myself and into life.  I’ve been trying hard to become more aware of myself; of my internalized phobias, and trying to work on those. We all have them, we try to deny it but it’s a fact.  I’ve been trying harder to think about what other people are going through or are concerned with and to be empathetic to those things.  I think it’s making me a better person.  I hope it is.

I have been getting out more the last few weeks.  Doing more by the way of social sort of stuff.  Generally I keep quietly to myself.  But I have realize that this isn’t doing my psyche any damned good.  Thus I have made more of a concerted effort to socialize and get the hell out of the house days.

On the 10th I went out to The Old Ferry Landing in downtown Portsmouth, NH with my whole family for a birthday dinner for my mother.  The Landing is right on the Piscataqua River, in Portsmouth Harbor.  It’s the very spot where the old ferry would land to bring passengers and freight back and forth across the river between Maine and New Hampshire up until the first draw bridge was built in the 1930’s.  So it’s a very historic spot, and when I am there I imagine what it might have been like for my grandmother to ride that ferry to town, which she did back then.  So it’s like walking in the footsteps of my ancestors.

Right next to the landing is the home of the Moran Tugs.  These tug boats are used to guide commercial vessels through the channels of the Piscataqua, one of the fastest current salt water rivers in the world, and through the two draw bridges that span the river.  There is a 3rd bridge, the “high level” we call it, that is high enough to navigate ships beneath, so it is stationary.  Right now the “middle bridge” of the Sarah Mildred Long Bridge, is being replaced.  It’s quite the project building a new draw bridge with all of today’s technology incorporated into it.  The project is the talk of the seacoast at this time.

Here are some good pictures of me, my family, the restaurant and the tugs.  Taken with my new Moto phone’s camera.

And while I was in the city (Portsmouth) I happened by a little shop that is owned by a dear old friend of mine. She is actually the woman who worked at the clinic where I tested positive for HIV back in 1992.  She is the one who had to break the news to my bewildered ass.  And I was the first woman she had ever had to tell they were positive.  So we have a sort of bond because of this happening to us back then.  We have always stayed in touch on the fringes, seeing each other at various outings, like Pride, Women’s March, and others.  Well, she dragged me into her little shop, which is for femmes let me tell ya, it’s full of jewelry, scarves, and hats…oh the hats…seems they were having a little “hat party” at the moment that I happened by on my way to the Ferry Landing.  Once inside they took great glory in having a Butch in their midst.  I got flirted with and poked fun of and then THIS happened: Ang Hat Pic

Yep, they made me try on one of the foofy hats…and they sure did get a laugh out of it, as did I.  I graciously allowed them to take this pic…so here it is for prosperity…and you all get a good chuckle out of it too.  🙂

This last Saturday I went up to celebrate my neices’s birthdays – Kyle and Meagan are both 23 this year…oy vey…and they often celebrate together as they are only 4 days apart in age.  Yes, 1994 was a very busy year for my family! lol.  It was the year I became an Auntie.  Auntie Butch…go figure. One of the proudest times of my life.  Here are some pics from the pool party we had Saturday.

Yes, it was complete with fresh off the boat Maine lobsters!  And they sure were great.  They are hard shell right now and full of good meat.  I had a fun time sending pics of them to my girlfriend and freaking her out…she’s never had a lobster.  Soon…very soon.

Yes, you read that right.  Girlfriend.  I formally asked her to be my girlfriend.  Hey, it’s the Butch way, you got to be respectful; not assume anything.  If you don’t ask; if you don’t together label what you have then it’s not official.  That’s my code anyway.

I’ve known this woman for close to a decade now…she’s been right in front of me and I just wasn’t ready…and in reality neither was she.  Both of us were on other paths; going through other things of our own and were just aware of each other on the fringes…but come to find out we WERE both aware…

The last 10 years I have been involved in some not so good situations.  I was with one woman on and off for many of those years.  I thought we would be together basically forever, but she met a man and realized she wasn’t who she thought she was.  Did it hurt?  Hell yeah.  But I don’t want anything to do with a woman who may be the least bit straight in any way, shape or form – not even a little bit.  So that ended, and ended very abruptly.  It’s for the best, I was “settling” I now see.  I didn’t have that passionate love for her that I need to have for the forever woman in my life. Then I started to get involved with another woman, but turned out she was so deep in the closet that she was kissin the back wall hard…So, yeah, I had some fuck ups along the way here, but it’s all behind me now.

I backed off dating completely; just gave the fuck up and figured I’d just be happier sticking to myself and not getting involved with anyone, it seemed to always be just too damned complicated.

That worked for a good while…then she somehow got my attention and things turned in a different direction. We got to just casually talking at first, and then it became clear that we had both been stealthily following each other for almost 10 years…interacting on rare occasions, but just enough to stay in touch.  We began daily conversations, got into some pretty deep stuff from both of our lives.  Both being bloggers and being each other’s followers, we knew quite a bit about one another; each had watched the other go through a myriad of struggles over the decade. We filled in those blanks; those things that we didn’t disclose in our blogs, the intimate details…lots of very personal stuff we have shared.  I’m not afraid of her hurting me, I’ve let that wall down and damn, it sure feels great.  To finally have someone who I can trusts with my heart.

Fast forward a little bit and I have really connected with this great woman.  She has stolen my heart…in a very good way.  She makes me smile, laugh, think and want to be all that I can be for her – and for myself.   I keep pinching myself to see if this is real; to see if I am really awake and that this is happening for us.  We’ve gotten really close, sharing our fears, our dreams, and our mutual affection for one another.  I haven’t felt this way in a very long time….like since 2007…and I don’t exactly know where this journey with her will take me, but I am sure going to find out.  I’m not letting go now for anything…anything.  I’ve needed her for so long, and now she’s right in front of me right where she belongs.  In my heart and in my arms.  I don’t wanna miss a minute of this…

More on this to come…I am sure as rain.   Peace.  ~MB




Rage, Hate and Death in America

White Nationalists have been rallying in Charlottesville Virginia, so far one is dead, and more than a dozen were wounded by a domestic terrorist attack with a car at the White Supremecist rally.  Total now is 3 dead due to this fucking rally.  All in the name of white power, and that line of bullshit.

David Duke (leader of the KKK) says this “represents a turning point for our country” and that “this is why we supported Donald Trump and he said he was going to give us our country back”…sick, sick, man.  He then reminded Trump that it was white Americans that elected him to do just this “taking of America back”.

The trash heap of bigotry that marched in to Charlottesville were pure and simple white supremecists, white nationalists and anti-equality morons.  These are individuals and groups like the KKK and David Duke, who have nothing but racial bigotry and hatred to spread and fuel across this land.  They are a scourge on our nation.  The do NOT represent our country.  This was a terror attack by white nationalists on America.  Trump, by not calling them out on it, just gave them more fuel.  HE is part of this problem; he is one of them.  His little “speech” did nothing to stop them or discourage them because he would not label them or call them out for what they are – nasty white supremecists.  I am fucking outraged now more than ever with his stupid orange ass.

It was a super difficult day here in America.  Everyone was watching things unfold in real-time on national television and talking about it amongst ourselves.  Tensions are running very high everywhere – not just in Charlottesville.  Yes, dear World, America is a fucking mess and is not the great nations she’s supposed to be anymore.  Somehow we have put a Nazi sympathizer, white nationalist lying bigot into the highest office of our land, and now he is showing us his true face; his true beliefs.  He’s supporting his “base” of these trashy, anti-American people with lies of omission and words to show he is sympathetic to their fucked up cause.  It’s one huge mess.  And we are all suffering, whether we admit it or not.  This is NOT what we signed up for.  This is NOT the true America that we were so proud of in the past.

The tensions even came tomy world today when I was at a big family gathering.  A small argument broke out.  I heard those ugly words “why can’t you support our President?”.  Why can’t I “support” him???  Why can’t HE support ME?  Why does he continue to bring hate and discontent to everyone everywhere that he touches or speaks to?

The Virginia governor, Terry McAuliffe, spoke out to the white nationalists very eloquently.  He told them to “go home and never come back” to his city or state.  He bravely stood before the cameras and mics and said everything that our president SHOULD have said.  watch here

It’s now Sunday morning, I am just waking up and am fearful to turn on the news and to see what today brings us.

We have so much going on here with this president who keeps our country is chaos.  He flirts with nuclear war with N. Korea, fuels racial strife in Virginia, and we never know what’s next out of his Twitter thumbs.  He’s a menace, a disgrace and we are in serious trouble.  I don’t know how we move forward from here, but we have to find a way.  We just have to.

Peace.  ~MB


Butch…Trans…A Conversation

There will always be someone who disagrees, no matter what the topic is. And inside the LGBT…xyz community there are many voices, many cultures, tons of identities and buckets of genders. I recently cross posted an interesting article that was on titled “Why I’m Still a Butch Lesbian” in a Facebook group that I am part of called “Gender Outlaws”… and wow, people came out of the freaking woodwork to comment and argue about this post. I only wish we could get the author herself to see the comments and respond to the conversation. I just might try to contact hym about it. At first I was a bit frightened by some of the responses and comments I was getting on the article. Now, the points of view are entirely .the author’s own, and while some may not find them to be very “PC” I do understand where she’s coming from in many ways. Not that I fully agree with her statements or opinions but I do understand some of the thinking involved in what she’s trying to say.

Some people found the article to contain transphobic bits, anti-women pieces, and generally it left people wanting to discuss the topic more. I felt that it was a great article to start a conversation with, which it certainly did! I tried to see where other people were coming from with their disdain for the article, and I can see how some were offended for sure. Especially after my exchange with one of the commenters, she got me to look more objectively at the issues with the post and why others felt the way they did.

Gender identity is – or seems to me to be – an ever evolving thing. As are the politics surrounding it. And we all have our implicit biases – snap judgements based on what we see, age, race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, culture and up-bringing. Yet most of us aren’t aware of our prejudices. That’s Implicit bias, for those wondering what the hell I am referring to. You can also call some of what we are experiencing as our own internalized homophobia. We were most all taught or told from a young age that there is only one of two ways you can be, either male or female, and that being anything but straight (heterosexual) and living a clean life will damn you to hell and fury. Those things cannot not affect, in some way, the way that we have each grown to think and be. And thus the way that we react to things that may stir up internal triggers for us. I believe this article by Lea stirred up a LOT of these triggers.

Love has no labels – in a perfect fucking world.

People can be whoever they wish to be – in a fucking perfect world.

But when you “say” who you are then you are going to open yourself up to outside opinion and most likely criticism of your designation and your words.

You are never the same as you were yesterday. Every day that goes by changes each of us in little ways, maybe even in huge ways – I call those days moments of definition (defining moments). I am not the same person I was at 20, 30, 40, or 50. I am a culmination of all that has happened to me; of all that I have experienced and all of those people that I have let into my life – whether I allowed them to stay or not.

Gender identity is a very personal thing. No one comes to their truth the same way as anyone else. I am a Butch lesbian. While I feel that I have always been a Butch lesbian I was not always true to my identity. I tried to be other things that I simply was not, for the sake of jobs, housing situations, loves, friends and family. Not until I realized that none of them mattered to my living my authentic life, was I completely comfortable being me – a Butch lesbian. I am 55 now, and I’m sure I am still evolving. I have different habits now, different views, different opinions and a very different body. I chose to have top surgery a couple of years ago, and it was personally the best thing I ever did for myself.

I caught shit for doing it. I heard things like “that means you want to be a Trans guy” and “you’re afraid to be a woman” and “you’re mutilating your body” and on and on. I heard it all. but you know what? I don’t fucking care what ANYONE else thinks, they didn’t have to live inside of my head, and my head is much better off without my breasts! AND it does NOT make me any less of a lesbian, any less of a Butch or any less of a woman. And no, I never had any illusions about those things before or after my surgery.

Lea makes one statement in her article about not sleeping with other Butches, she used some derogatory terms – saying she “isn’t a fag” which really pissed people off. Now, I don’t agree with her terminology, but I do understand, that as a Butch who prefers femme women, that she chooses not to engage romantically with other Butch lesbians. I have somewhat of that same preference, I just cannot connect the right way with another masculine identified person to where I would consider having sex with them. Female or male. Some see this as being somehow degrading to my Butch friends. I in no way am degrading anyone. The type of women I am attracted to romantically are just generally not Butch identified, period. I believe the author was just trying to say that same thing but she tried to make it sound a bit on the macho funny side, which didn’t go over well at all with the people who commented back to me.

I have always thought that there was a “fine line” between being Butch and identifying as Transgender. But…I am beginning to see that that line is much bolder than I had originally seen it as. Perhaps it’s “getting” bolder; perhaps it always has been and I just didn’t see it that way. I’m not entirely sure. I am thinking about this quite a bit now.

As most of you who read me regularly know, I consider Butch to be my gender. It is not lost on me however that I am female bodied and am a woman by definition. But I have never felt like a woman fully, nor have I ever felt like a man. I am just me, just plain Butch. Sort of with a foot in both arenas. I tend to lean very much toward my masculine side, and have very little femininity in me. This is just how I evolved. I’m not afraid of my femaleness, just really don’t know how to be any other way than just as I am. Nor do I even wish to try to be any other way!

I’ve written before about what I see as a sort of “trend” toward transitioning in younger lesbians especially. How is one to know what we would have done had we had that technology, knowledge and opportunity back “in the day” when we were going through our 20’s and coming to terms with who we were going to be in this life? We don’t. Maybe it’s not a trend, but we see it more frequently now because we can see it now! Where back in the 60’s-80’s when I was in those formative years I didn’t even know what the word “transgender” meant – or if it even WAS a word back then! Today’s youth have much more information and opportunity than any other decade before this. Of course this is going to make things different.

I am a very “live and let live” type of person. I don’t like to throw my judgements at others. I have many friends of all sorts, gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgender, non-binary, etc. I respect each person’s right to choose their own gender identity, their own sexuality, and their own lifestyle. I only ask that I receive that same respect in return.

I believe if the world were more tolerant, less judgmental and less phobic it would be a far better and easier place to exist in. But that’s not reality. This, what we are living today, is our reality. We have to make the best of it, we have to learn to be loving and to care about one another. Just because we are different kinds of people doesn’t mean that we cannot just be people together!

We need to have these tough conversations, listen – really LISTEN – to each other and have some compassion because every one of us is going through something in this life. Some journey’s are easier, some more difficult. Yet, in the end we all end up with baggage. It’s who you unpack it for that should matter the most to you. I want to know that I am unpacking for people who will love and respect me no matter who I used to be, and who love me for who I am today.

So, as you read the article please understand that she has been on a life journey as well. She’s had her share of good and bad. She has her own stuff to deal with that we know nothing about. We don’t have to agree with her, but we have to hear her and give her space to speak her own truth, in her own unique way. I hope that she will give that same consideration to those who don’t agree with her article, for they have their own reasons – I have my own reasons! And it’s ok, it’s ok to not always agree. That’s why it’s important to hear many voices, to really listen to each other and to learn that we can be very different – yet in the end we are all just human beings trying to survive this life.

I am positive that this is not the end of this conversation. Nor will it be the end of my writing on gender and being Butch. I invite you to read Lea’s article and tell me in the comments what your take away on it is. Were you offended? Were you intrigued? What do you think overall of her piece?

Peace! ~MainelyButch

PS. Here is a second article from along the same subject lines. It was added as a comment to my post, as an alternative point perhaps? What do you think?

“I Didn’t Know I was Trans” by Evan Urquhart

PSS.  so I went to publish this post and low-n-behold some of the original piece has been EDITED by them? Someone? Author?  I don’t know, but mysteriously some of it that was causing the bulk of the controversay seems to have disappeared.  I’m very confused.  So, this is based on the original version that I read…prior to this obvious edit…which pisses me off to no end.

Sorting, Upgrading and Music

It’s been a weekend of sorting things out.  Mostly material things, clothing, furniture, “stuff” and then I threw in a few emotions to sort through as well.

I got my bedroom completely reorganized.  I managed to make it roomier by just repositioning the bed against a wall – hell I don’t use both sides anyways!  And rarely do I have company that would need to access the other side.  If I do they can climb in via my side.  Lulu and Nola have diligently been supervising the whole expedition.  Nola gets very nervous that I am preparing to move whenever she sees a storage tote or box appear, when the furniture or rugs get moved, and when all my clothes are tossed on the bed.  She’s not keen on moving, and neither and I , so we are NOT planning to move again – at least not in her lifetime!  Lu was more curious about WTF I was doing in there!

I sorted through clothing again, coming up with another 2 trash bags of clothes to donate.  I have yet to sort through the closet…the 2 bags came solely from the 2 large dressers in there and did include some sheet sets and old curtains I never hung.  Yes, I was ruthless.  I do not need all of those clothes; nor do I want them taking up valuable draw space.  I’m simple, I wear mosly cotton clothing.  Jeans, t-shirts, long sleeved t’s and sweatshirts for the most part.  I do have a good selection of flannel shirts, button downs, and suits in my closet as well.  I keep my foot wear selection to a minimum as well.  A couple pairs of work boots, my Merell slips on’s, a pair of sneakers, slippers, and some dress shoes in both black and brown.  I have gotten pretty set in my ways – seems to happen as the years go by and you age in life.  I like things plain and simple.  That includes in my friendships and relationships.

In the process of sorting things out and making things better around here I decided to upgrade my television channel selection enabling me to now have like 200+ channels of pure bullshit.  And I also upgraded the internet to a 100mb download speed.  Great thing is that this is only going to cost me an additional $20 a month!  I can handle that, and during football season I have to have upgraded cable to get most of the games.  Home games for the Patriots are broadcast on the regular channel 8, WMUR / ABC but out of town games and other games of other teams aren’t accessible unless you have NECN the sports channel.  Plus I now have StreamTV, which means I can live stream my TV channels to my devices, such as my laptop, tablet, Moto phone and to Linda’s devices too.  I’m in the middle of setting up all of the device connections now.  And I’m trying to figure out exactly WHAT channels I have in the line up.  I like the StreamTV app because it saves whatever channels you watch in your list, that way you can go directly to the channels you like.

The weekend is over, I worked today (Monday) for my obligatory 6 hours.  I am really starting to resent that job.  Today got interesting.  We had a Kenworth tractor with trailer that we found had been parked in the upper truck lot for over 3 weeks…soo…of course all the worst went through our minds.  Where was the driver?  Is he IN the truck?  Is he NOT alive?  Oh crap!  We finally called the cops and had them come and check it out, get into the truck and make sure we weren’t hosting any dead bodies. Yes, this does happen on occasion, a trucker will OD or die in his truck parked in a trucking lot and be discovered after a few days…not a pretty sight – or smell.  I’m happy to say that this Kenworth was empty and I managed to track down the owner in Arizona and told him he has 7 days to move it or I’m having it hauled off to impound.  He assured me he’d pick it up by the 14th.

My northern friend has been laying down some very very sweet guitar riffs for me.  I love the collection that I am building of her music.  She’s super talented and makes her living playing.  I think that’s soo cool.  I’ve been seriously enjoying our interactions and our conversations about various stuff. Today we discovered that we are both die-hard Prince fans; both love his music and his overall presentation.  The world misses Prince.  I miss him, and what he could be still bringing to our world of music.

So are some of your favorite artists?  What’s your theme song?  What song brings back memories to you?  I’d love to see some links to songs, as well as just your comments about what music appeals to you.

Peace!  ~MB



New WP Editor?

I have installed the WordPress app on my phone now and am trying a quick post with the newfangled editor they are touting.

I’m having a rough day today. Tired and irritated with my roomie, who split for Buffalo last Wednesday without explanation and without forking over the week’s rent. I was not even sure that he would be coming back. Finally today he texted me with lame excuses and says he’ll be back Sunday night. Evidently he still has a job…although I don’t know how or for how long they will put up with his shit show. I find him to be very immature for a 37 yr old man. He doesn’t take responsibility for much. He’s one of those kinds of people who do the bare minimum to get by or get the job done. He’s not very considerate of others; often even sort of looking down on people who he somehow thinks that he is better than. THAT is irritating. Why are people like that? I don’t get it. Anyway, he’s a temporary roomie, basically stays in his room and sleeps all the time or wakes up and drinks until he passes out again. He doesn’t do anything as far as I can tell, except for work at his bridge job. Even they must be not pleased with his performance as of late, hell he hasn’t been there but 1 day plus a couple of hours this week. And supposedly -according to him- he is indispensable to them….yeah right, like I buy that line of trash. He’s delusional and lazy as far as I can see. Anyway, he’s got a girl friend up on NY who has a couple of kids by another guy, and who he (roomie) supports . He won’t let her work because he’s afraid she won’t need him AND that she will meet another guy and run out on him . When he bolted out of here the other day he was balling and squeaking about her not taking his calls…so he HAD to drive the 8 hours and find out why…crazy. I was shocked that a grown man would act like that…get a grip dude! Hell, if she IS screwing around why waste your time driving up there? Dump her ass and move on. Find a mature relationship. I think that’s the problem. They are both very immature and have a pretty unhealthy relationship. Neither is good for the other and both drink FAR too much!

When his stinky ass get s back here I am thinking that we may need to sit down and talk. I need him to hear my frustrations and concerns. I want to keep some stability here, and his drinking and antics aren’t contributing in any kind of positive way. This it may be time for him to go back to hotel living so I can get a more reliable person in there.

Ugh…sorry about the rant, but I had to type this out to help me think it out.

He really isn’t an evil guy, he’s just got a bad drinking problem and it affects who he is and how he treats others and how he functions in life. Sadly. I have told him a dozen times the he needs to slow down. I had a bro-in-law who was found dead on the couch at 43 from alcohol. His liver just quit and he passed out drunk on the couch and never woke up. Three days he laid there until his father tried to wake him and discovered he was very much dead. That’s what I am afraid is in store for this 37 yr. old roomie of mine. That or he will kill himself – or others – in a drunk driving accident. …..and again I am rambling…this while scene is really weighing on my mind

Here are some shots I took in the veggie patch today…


Peace. -MB