Butch Stuff, Indentity, life stories, Living in Maine, Love

Changes and Life Storms…

Yes, we all know that changes happen to us every single day that we wake up breathing.

We are constantly undergoing change. Body changes, hairstyle changes, changes in jobs, living spaces, partners, lovers, friends, and personal stuff like emotional and mental changes.  We are human.  We are creatures of habit, yet change is one of those things that we cannot stop.

I feel  like I am going through some sort of period of changes myself right now.  I just have not been feeling like my old self.  I think I am more like “morphing” into some sort of new me.  It’s not a “bad” thing, the things I am noticing are not all negative my any means.  I am just thinking about this and things I have noticed lately.

I have developed even LESS of a tolerance for ignorance and stupidity.  And I don’t always hold back anymore, if I think you are being stupid I’ll up and tell you right quick.  I used to be more reserved, but hey, I think that people need to know how they are perceived.  And maybe sometimes it’s not all roses and kittens.

The political scene in America – if you can call it a “scene”…well, it sort of is a scene…because it’s being directed by a fucking reality TV fallen-star – has got me thinking pretty deeply about my life here and what is going to happen in my country in the next few years, or even few months!  I wake up every day now and check Twitter to see what the Trumpidiot has Tweeted that is going to be destructive today.  It’s scary.  I now live with more of a sense of personal fear than I EVER did before.  And that is just not right.

I have white privilege, but after that I have everything going against me – I’m a woman, a lesbian, Butch, HIV+, and poor.  The fact that I do have that stupid white privilege thing is not lost on me.  I understand that if I were Black or Hispanic that I would struggle even harder than I do in life.  And that angers me.  Everyone should have the same even platform from which to launch.  No one deserves to be treated as less-than or as unequal in any way.

I want to read Sen. Flake (R) AZ ‘s new book, “Conscience of a Conservative” that just came out.  He sounds like a reasonable man.  And I know how Trump hates any Republican who doesn’t cow to his wants and demands.  Flake and McCain are just two of them that Trumpy despises.

So Scaramoucci (sp?) quit today.  He lasted a whole 10 days as the WH Correspondence chief.  I guess he couldn’t get along with the new guy, Gen. Kelly, who is now going to be Trumpidiot’s right hand man. I actually believe that he’s been brought in to SHOW Trumpidiot HOW to run an administration and HOW to be a President.  And I believe that he is going to be Trump’s worst nightmare.  He’s not going to take kindly to Trump Tweeting stuff every day.  There are “leakers” in there, and Trump is right at the top of them!  He’s his own worst enemy.

I don’t know who, or if they have even chosen anyone yet, is going to be the new voice for Trumpidiot.  Good luck to whomever it is that gets that gift of a job.  Hahaha!  It will give Saturday Night Live a new character to develop for sure.

I’ve been talking with my special girl up north all week.  Even when I wasn’t feeling good talking to her for a few minutes would pick me up.  She’s been a real positive thing in my life.  She is in a pretty complex situation there.  With her being poly it’s okay that we are talking, but does have relations there, and I have respect for those.  We’ve been talking every day, something I haven’t really done solidly with anyone for quite a while now.  It’s nice to wake up and be able to message her and smile at her replies.  Things are really in their beginnings with us, and it’s yet to be seen how far things go.  We have known one another for years, just the time for us to talk was never right – before now.  It’s been really fun getting to know each other better.  I really like this woman and hope we keep talking…for a nice long time.  We’ve become very good friends, and that is what counts to me the very most.  I can share things with her that I don’t with others, which is a nice feeling.

I’m not looking for forever, just like connecting with good people in the now.  One day there will be a woman who comes into my life and decides to stay, but until then I am a free bird and enjoy good people.  This current friend that I am talking with fits that bill, she is just plain good people!  And she’s been through a very rough journey in life, so her story is sometimes hard to hear, but I am someone who isn’t afraid to listen and to really hear her.

Tomorrow is never a given.  Live for today.  Take risks.  Take chances.  Sometimes you don’t get a second chance, so leap before it’s too late.

Peace.  ~MB




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