Butch Stuff, Gender Identity, Indentity, LGBT Community Issues, Personal Thoughts

Pride Month Passes

Once again Pride month has passed.  I was planning on attending our local Pride event and parade last Saturday in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.  It’s not as huge as NYC or Boston, but it’s respectable and is always a good time.  This is only the 3rd consecutive year that we have even had a local Pride event.  but, I picked up a job doing some repairs to a pool and really need the extra money, so I burnered my going to Pride wants, and did the work.  I don’t feel like I missed too much, and there will be lots of pictures to see from FB friends and allies.

So, I didn’t go.  I would probably have felt kind of out of place as usual.  I never feel as I belong correctly in the Lesbian part of the LGBT community.  My Butchness is frowned upon by many lesbians.  Yes, I think that Lesbians can be and are very judgmental of one another particularly.  It seems that everyone has their own “way” or opinion of “how” lesbians should look, act, and conduct themselves.  I always feel like a kind of outsider within my own so-called community.  I am willing to bet that femme identified lesbians also feel this way sometimes, as they also catch holy hell for being “too” feminine as well as for dating Butches that oft times can “pass” as guys.  I am one of those.  I’m so used to being called “Sir” that it feels normal to me.

Perhaps it is me being too sensitive or maybe I am just hyper-aware that I am part of a minority within the minority.  I am part of the Butch-femme world; a world that is only really understood by those who live the life within it.

I see the ads in the personals, when I look, that say “no Butches” and it always pisses me off.  Not that I am interested in responding to a personal ad, but I just wonder what is it about Butches that scares otherly identified lesbians so fucking much?  What is it that they don’t understand about individuality and authenticity?  Who are they to say what is “too masculine” or “too feminine”?  I was born to be me.  I didn’t have to put on any kind of “act” to be Butch.  It’s just who I grew from a young Tomboy to be.  I am not “confused” and I don’t want to “be a man” in any way.  I want to be Butch; a masculine woman.  I like my masculine presentation and traits.  I love femme women.  I love the chemistry, the pull and the dynamic of a Butch-femme relationship.

Pride should be celebrated by all, equally.  Yet, somehow I feel pushed out of my own “community”.  It’s a changing landscape.  Is there still a place at the table for us older lesbians?  For us Butch identified?  Or are we destined to become the invisible?

Even our government refused to recognize LGBT Pride month.  Their dire need to make us invisible is palpable.  Their outright hate for those under the LGBT umbrella seeths.

It’s a changing world.  And ever dangerous.




5 thoughts on “Pride Month Passes

  1. boi-princess says:

    I walked away from the LGBTQ community 20 years ago for the exact reasons you mentioned, way to cliquish and judgemental, even now I don’t get too involved in it unless I am volunteering for some event. Mine gets the same flack you do, and I am starting to think most Butches do or will at some point, and she seriously catches it for being tattooed front and back from her neck to her ankles, I don’t like judgy people, and I don’t know why people think it is alright to crap on anyone who is simply being their authentic selves, it is that way here in Canada as well, just keep being you and don’t ever change cuz others are too ignorant and judgemental, it’s their loss, not yours, you are a very pleasant person, smart, funny and very photogenic,( even if you did make me nervous for a couple years) lol… it’s your energy, up until I ended up with one, I never understood that energy n it can be frightening when you don’t understand. as for those ads saying No Butch’s … they have no idea what the heck they are missing out on, neither did I until she came along, I could never be with a non-Butch now lol they are a special kinda people, so it is their loss.

    I sure hope that idiot and his regime get kicked out of the government soon, I can’t begin to imagine what you must be feeling nor fathom how stressful that must be. you are an incredibly strong person to live that every day.

    please stay safe my friend and smile, you have a beautiful smile.


  2. I can’t believe people make personal ads that say “no butches”! If I was single, mine would say “butches preferred”! Our Prime Minister marches in Pride each year, which is kinda cool, but he really just likes getting his photo taken doing “progressive” things to look good, but everything he does in office isn’t necessary that progressive. I wouldn’t place too much importance on support for Pride from elected officials. Remember that Stonewall was a riot against the cops.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. NO I AGREE WITH YOU, REGULAR VANILLA LESBIANS DO NOT LIKE buthces. I know I have experienced more discrimination from them than straight people! It sad LBGTQ, I told 2 lesbians at Starbucks that I identify as male. They both got up and walked out! If you are Stone butch half of the people do not even know what that means. I am Trans stone ftm. But I still know what I need and want! Also I am a great Leo friend to anyone. I hang with the rich and I hang with the poor. I am human and I do not judge. Too bad everyone cannot learn that basic way of thinking! I have no intention of changing any thing. I know who I am. I am kinda female looking, but still I know my mind and I have no desire to do any surgery etc. Get to know me . I am a sweet kind loving human.

    Liked by 1 person

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