Great Day!

I had a really great day today.  Not that anything really special happened or anything like that, but it was just a good fucking day.

I woke up still worried about my buddy who I wrote about yesterday.  So, after I got myself together I drove over to her house to check in on her and she was fine.  Thank goodness for that.  I then went up and spent the morning at my mother’s helping her sort through her extensive collection of Royal Doulton statues and figurines.  She’s decided to sell the collection off.  So we cleaned them all up, inventoried them and got them ready to place in the consignment shop in town.

It was just super sweet to spend some time with my mother.  She is probably the person that I most admire in this life.  She is as genuine as they come; kind, compassionate, full of love and life, and she has always been there for me when I have needed her.  I totally admire the woman.  I just hope that her goodness and her traits are rubbing off on me.  Other people meet my mom and instantly love her too.  She is just the type of person who is open and honest and accepting of everyone.  Her warmth and enthusiasm for life is contagious.  I hope I have many more years hanging out with her on my days off, she really makes me smile.

I came home and got the yard all mowed and trimmed.  The place looks stellar.  This coming Saturday is the annual community yard sale and I wanted everything done and looking as good as possible before the weekend.  I’ve been gathering items that I wish to sell and getting things ready to display.  I don’t have as much this time around.  I did a good job last year cleaning out unwanted and unneeded items during last year’s sale.  But I do have a couple of boxes of stuff and a lawn mower and some other excess stuff in the shed.  So maybe I’ll make a little extra pocket money this weekend, that would be sweet.

I started the pumpkins and the cucumbers in the garden.  One hundred and ten days to harvest, so they should be ready come late September.  I’ll be excited to see what kind of crop I manage to get this year.  I am trying some new seeds that are supposed to produce giant pumpkins and some others that produce carving and baking type pumpkins.  The cukes I planted this year are the Mediterranean type, long and slender.  I hope they do well too.

So that was my day….I hope you all had a good day as well!   Peace!  ~MB

 

Our Stories…an inspired post

I have been blogging now for so many years that I really have to stop and research when I first started…I think it was sometime around 2005 that I first started blogging on AOL.  It’s been a good amount of years for sure.  I printed out all of my AOL blogs when I stopped using AOL, so I have them in printed form – just not in digital form.  I am thinking about this because I have been reading MiddleAgeButch’s blogs on writing our stories, which are really excellent blogs!

Telling our stories is an important thing, especially to leave marks on the history of the LGBT community.  I write because I love to write; it’s an outlet for me and if I can tell my story and it helps even one person along the way then I will have made a small difference in the world.  Everyone has their story.  I have mine and you have yours.  Sometimes we can relate to each other through our life stories; finding common threads and experience.  We can all be storytellers.

My story is about growing up feeling very “different” and not understanding exactly why until I became more aware of sex and sexuality.  Then it hit me that I was lesbian.  I remember looking the word up in the dictionary. “Ah Ha! That’s me”  My story is about holding that secret very closely, with a lot of fear and anxiety, for many years.  It’s about coming out in a time when it wasn’t cool to be gay.  And about life before we knew what HIV &  AIDS were, never realizing that life was about to completely change for so many of us.  Some chapters are about dealing with emotions and feelings in all the wrong ways, about drinking, drugs and wandering in the wrong directions.  Then you get to chapters of growth, acceptance and realization.  All of the stories of my life have brought me to where I am today.  And today is a good day.

I love reading the other author’s blogs on WordPress.  There really are some super writers on here.  I follow quite a number of them, and while I don’t get to read every entry every day, I do catch up with my favorites every week or so.  Some I do read daily when I can.

I think it’s really great that so many LGBT people have taken to blogging and writing down our stories for the world to read.  It’s important to the coming generations to be able to find us through our stories and to understand the history of our people.  I know it has been life changing for me, in many ways, to read the stories of those who fought this battle before me, of the Stonewall Riots, the Butch-femme histories of the early 20th century.  I always look to read as much from other Butch-femme lesbians as I can.  Some of my favorite reads are “Stilettos and Steel,” “Stone Butch Blues”, and “Butch is a Noun” and “Tomboy Survival Guide”…all of which are stories that address various periods and what it’s been like being Butch during them.  All have made great contributions to the history of the LGBT movement, in my opinion, and I would highly recommend them to young readers looking to know more about our history.

I was also reading another blog about people we admire and the qualities that they typify that we admire in them.  I found it to be really intriguing.  So I made my own lists of people that I admire in my life, and what I admire about them.  Because those are the qualities that I want to have myself, to make myself a better person.  I think it’s important to occasionally take a personal inventory of ourselves and do some hard thinking about how we are presenting to the world around us, and if it’s enough or if we need to tweak things up and make some changes.  Changes are not always easy, but they are a necessity in life.  AND you can always make the choice to change.

So I made a copious list of the qualities and traits that I personally want to have.  I am going to post it on my desktop where I can see it everyday and be reminded to live up to them.  I’ll let you all know how it goes.  I like to think that I already have many of these qualities, but it’s good to remind oneself.

I was talking with someone today about how everything happens for a reason.  I think that’s kind of a lame old line actually, but there is some truth to it I am sure.  Where I am in life today is exactly where I have put myself.  You get no more than what you put into something.  I’m pretty contented, but will always strive to make things better, and to be a better person for it all.

What makes me think of all of this is a very close friend who is having some really tough times right now and conversations that I had today with her.  She’s saying crazy things like “I’m done.” and “I am giving up.”  Words that scare me into thinking she’ll do something crazy.  I would be devastated if anything were to happen to her.  She’s very special to me, and someone I depend on in my life.  Right now she’s having some financial troubles and I am sure she’s feeling overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure because of it.  I am not in a position to help her out or loan her the money, which makes me feel bad.  I wish I could help her in some way other than just giving her advice and trying to help her get through it.

I want her to look at her life and see all of the positives and not just the current negatives.  I know it’s hard when the negatives are staring you right in the face though.  I been there too.  But you can’t just give up and throw in the towel.  You have to work things out, and sometimes it’s hard and you don’t want to do the work, I know, but it has to be done.  Hopefully she will get some rest tonight and will have a new outlook in the morning.  I am hoping that she will come by for coffee in the morning so that I know she’s okay.

It’s all part of the story of our lives…these day to day happenings and problems.  Hopefully better things come in the future.

 

 

 

 

Woof!!!

So, my dog Nola is a barker.  She barks at cars passing the house.  She barks at other dogs and just can’t seem to get along with other dogs very well.  She will bark in their faces and then scream like a little girl when they challenge her.  It’s kind of amusing, and embarrassing.  I can’t take Nola into places like Lowe’s or Home Depot because when she sees another dog she goes off like a fucking bark monster.  It’s really starting to bother me lately.  I think that it bothers me because Lulu is the kind of dog that gets along with everybody and anybody and doesn’t bark at other dogs unless she is coerced into it by her sister, Nola.  I can take Lu anywhere and she’s the hit of the party, charming, cute and loveable.  Miss Congeniality.  So, I am desperate to figure out how to cuerb Nola’s barking, how to get her so that she will listen to me and “leave it” alone when I command it.  “Leave it” is her command to stop whatever she is doing and focus on me.  She’s about 90% good at it.  She comes when called, will generally stop and respond to my commands…except when she’s barking out the fucking house or car window.  Then she’s out of control; consumed by the need to bark er brain off at whatever it is that she’s reacting to — generally another dog or a kid on a bicycle.  God forbid she see a baby stroller…those are extra barkable evidently.

I have had people tell me to ignore it, and I have tried to do that.  Doesn’t work.  Still she barks.  I try taking her everywhere with me, exposing her to other dogs, people, kids, and stuff.  She is 90% good, then she just loses it and the barking starts.  It is annoying to me, and embarrassing too.

Nola is not a “treat” responsive dog.  She could care less about getting a “treat” or a bone for doing something good.  The only thing she seems to respond to (don’t hate now!) is the rolled up newspaper that I use to scold her with.  I do NOT hit her with it, I smack the table or the wall to make a loud noise with it and threaten her.  Generally she’ll stop when I break out the dreaded newspaper roll.  I haven’t had it out ina long time, but I am thinking of making one right now because today was an extra  barky day.  I make one by rolling up a section of newspaper and duct taping it tight, giving me a little stick sort of thing that I can make loud noise with if needed.

So, I love this dog beyond words.  I would never do anything to hurt her, but I feel like I am doing something wrong around this barking issue.  What do I do?  Does anyone out there have any “dog whisperer” suggestions for us?  I have considered a bark collar, but the dog is 9 years old….is it too late for that sort of device?  If it’s not then I will definitely try it.  I am desperate.  This issue has been left unattended to for far too long.  I do welcome any suggestions or ideas that you, my wonderful readers, may have for me!  Please comment below or send me an email!  (Yes, I am finally keeping up with my email account once again….I check it every couple of days.)

Went to a barbeque at my parents’ home today.  They made pulled pork and it was terrific.  Not many people were there. It ended up just being my sister, my parents, me and Linda and a neighborhood friend.  We stayed about an hour and a half and had some delicious bbq food and chatted for a while.  The pool was far too cold for swimming, and Nola was barking at the other dogs – aggravating my sister particularly with her barking.  So we called it early and headed home.

I got back home around 2:30 and decided to plant some seeds in the veggie garden.  I got giant pumpkins planted (2 hills of them) and a hill of carving pumpkins.  I put in some Mediterranean Cucumbers and then I started a tray of flower seeds.  Snapdragons, Shasta daisies, and a couple of others I can’t remember the names of right now.  I also got 4 – 2cf. bags of black mulch spread in the main part of the flower garden out front – it looks awesome!  I need another 5 bags to finish the other half of that garden and to put some in the little gardens on either side of my front entrance steps.   Then there is the large space in front of my house where I removed 3 gigantic rhododendrums (sp?) that had gone insane.  I need to either put in some more smaller shrubs or make a garden in that space too.  Seems like outdoor work is never done…there’s always something to do out there.

It’s time for me to crash.  I spent some time chatting with a good friend on FB messenger tonight, I really enjoy our chats.  It’s hard for me to reach out to people, and I have needed to do it more lately.  This person feels safe and I trust her.  We chatted a lot about the Giant Orange Asshole…wondering what he will do to embarrass us this week!?

I’m off to bed.  Peace.  ~MB

 

 

Spring Boredom…

It’s Saturday night and I am home trying to figure out what to do with myself!  I did some gardening today, and could do more of that until dark…but just not into it right now.  I have a lot of junk on my mind and thought I would take a stab at writing some of it down…pondering my thoughts so to speak.

It’s been another fucked up week in America, Trump is somehow still President and he’s been traveling abroad making a complete ass out of himself and embarrassing Americans all over the place.  It almost pains me to turn on the daily news, for fear of more embarrassment and stupidity from the White House.

It’s Memorial Day weekend, a time to remember those lost in the fight for Freedom around the world.  A time to remember those who are still fighting, still putting their lives on the line every day for our freedom.  Today we lost a 25 yr old young man in Syria, I’m not sure what the count is now for Syria…it seems that this “never ending war” that we have been involved in for so many years just seems to keep expanding to different countries.  Syria is just the latest.  It makes me sad for his family, his wife and 2 young sons who will never know the presence of their father from this day forward.  Senseless loss and pain

The news seems to be just filled with so much violence, terror attacks, hate crimes and the such lately.  It feels to me like there has really been an uptick in these crimes.  I have to say that it is a very different feeling here in the US these days, it’s more fearful, more people seem to feel like it is somehow more acceptable now to lash out in hatred towards those who are “different” from them, whether it be color, religion or socio-economically.  I see the “looks” around the store where I work sometimes.  It’s just scary.

I’ve been just taking it all in lately, trying to figure out how to feel about it all.  I have a president that provokes violence, who doesn’t support our allies, who is against conservation and clean energy, who is corrupt and colluding with the enemy.  Just how the fuck am I supposed to feel as an American right now?  I’ll tell you how I am feeling…I’m feeling very discouraged, very ashamed and embarrassed.  I don’t understand why the representatives that we have elected to represent us are NOT doing their jobs.  Why are THEY not up in arms about this incompetent man we call POTUS?  What has he got over them that keeps them all from removing him from office, as he should be removed!  I am completely frustrated by our politicians and representative’s lack of action and lack of words.  They should be speaking out, speaking up and representing us as they were all elected to do.  They do not work for him, they work for US!!!

Ok, let me get off of that subject now.  It just infuriates me to watch my country going to hell like it is under this administration.  The damage will take decades to repair, it’s sad and it’s unconscionable.

My gardens are looking pretty good.  I have been planting more perennials in the flower beds, and today I got the black mulch for the beds.  Tomorrow morning I have plans to get up and tackle finishing the garden edging and spreading the mulch.

I haven’t even touched the veggie garden yet.  I am hoping that I will find some time this weekend to at least get in the pumpkin seeds.  I got some giant pumpkins to grow!  I hope I have as good a luck this year with them as I did last year.

I’m a little behind just because I can’t always seem to find the ambition to do things that need to be done around here.  I mean the place looks great, but I want it to look even better!   I have to paint the front porch and put in new ballisters.  I’m looking toward possibly next weekend to tackle that project, depending upon the weather forecast.  We have had a lot of rain lately!  I need the porch to dry completely, scrape it, prime it and then paint it with a good quality deck paint.  I’d like to get a couple of years out of a painting!  I will have to take some new photos and show you all what things are looking like around here.

I’ve been feeling pretty good  Staying healthy and trying to be happy.  My depression still rears it’s ugly head too frequently.  I am thinking of changing my anti-depressant meds to a new one, I’ve been on this one I am on now for over 5 years, I don’t think it’s working very well anymore.  Other than that, I am doing very well.

Tomorrow is my annual Memorial Day barbeque at my parent’s home in the next town over.  I’ll be surrounded by my 4 siblings and their families, lots of other dogs and hopefully it will be a fun and relaxing time.  As long as we stay away from religion, politics and sexual conversations everything will be just fine.  I tend to hold very differing opinions of some of those things than some of my more conservative family members do, which can pose a problem in arguments should they occur.  I am looking forward to just a relaxing day in the sunshine eating pulled pork sandwiches and bird watching.  There are some awesome birds up there!

 

 

 

 

Hot, Hot, Hot!

Whoa!  It was some fucking hot here in Maine today!  It got up to about 95 here where I live in little town southern Maine.  And that is not only very hot, but very unusual for this part of the country.  We generally don’t see temperatures in the 90’s until late July, early August, and even then they are short lived.  Good summer temps here are generally in the high 80’s and the humidity can vary depending on rainfall and how close you are to the water.  I get a lot of ocean breeze here where I am, which is kind of nice.  You can always tell when the tide is rolling in because you can smell the salt in the air.

My moods have been fucked up lately. But I am feeling better overall.  I know that the moods are affected by my various medications, and that’s to be somewhat expected, but still it can be aggravating to me.  I am going to try a new product, called Kratom.  I’ll be doing a bunch of research on it this weekend and hopefully finding some quality product to try out.  It came as a recommendation from a good friends in California who uses it for pain relief and a mood booster — which is close to exactly what I would want to use it for.  It’s an herbal productr from Asia, and isn’t FDA approved, but it’s legal and it has been shown to have significant benefits used in the correct manner.  I’d love to hear from any one who has any personal experience with Kratom as to how you like it and what kinds of benefits it has brought to you.

The house looks pretty good.  I am getting ready to paint the font and back porches, spruce them up a bit.  They could use a good coat of new paint.  I did get the skirting done on both porches, so that animals can’t easily get under there and bother me.  We have some resident ground hogs that live under our various neighborhood sheds.  Hopefully they will stay out of the veggie garden!

I been catching up on my blog reading, so if you are seeing comments from me suddenly on your blogs it’s because I am playing catch up.  This last month I have been really not reading or writing much.  I just needed time to THINK without processing every little bit through my writing.  I have been going to group still, but I think I am about done with that for now.  I’m not feeling like I am getting much out of it personally.  And it’s expensive, as it’s an out of pocket cost for me every week.  I’ve done well, things are still right on track and I feel that I can drop the group therapy thing with no problem.  I will continue with one-on-one therapy for a bit longer, until I feel that I am solid in my recovery.  Plus, hey personal therapy doesn’t hurt one bit.  It’s actually been good for me, helps me process some of the fucked up shit I have had to deal with lately.  And that is good.

Linda and I are going to take the dogs to the doggie event at the Raitt Farm this weekend.  They are having a big event to promote adoption and support for the local shelters.  Ought to be fun and interesting.  Food, games, dog stuff, dog fun events, etc.  I’m looking forward to Saturday for this reason!

I’ve been working a little more than usual lately.  It’s really gotten wicked busy at my place of employment.  Like today, we sold TONS of water and ice, seemed that everyone who came in was stocking up on hydration and ice.  We have many customers who are local landscapers and construction workers, so they need to stay hydrated as they are working ou in the heat and sun.  I still enjoy the job, enjoy the people and seeing all the locals on a regular basis.  It’s nice when people come in and know my name, greet me with enthusiasm and make small talk about townie stuff.  Yeah, I don’t foresee leaving there anytime soon.  It’s really a perfect little part time job for me.  Keeps me with a weekly schedule, holds me responsible to others and gives me a little sense of purpose and security.  The money isn’t great, but it’s enough to make a difference in my budget…I would not stay if it weren’t.  I also really like the people that I work with, and that always makes a difference to me.

On the political front…I have been keeping up per my usual habits.  I keep a very close eye on the imbicile in the White House, aka the UGLY ASS ORANGE ONE who is our “fake POTUS”.  I have had to temper my reactions a bit.  I was allowing myself to be negatively affected by the news, and that’s not good. It’s important to have good information and a measured response.  I can’t do anything about the situation on my own, thus I cannot let it eat at me like I was previously allowing.  Staying informed, watching and contacting my representatives every chance I get is how I am staying involved.  I think you will soon see another big march on the White House, especially with things getting a super hot as they are there.  Just in the last 10 days alone things have begun to spiral out of control in the White House.  Trump is feeling the pressure and doesn’t like it one bit.  While he likes attention like no one I have ever previously seen, he is not as fond of “negative attention” – even though it still serves it’s purpose in getting him to the front and center of everyone’s minds.  He would rather be adored than abhorred, but he’ll take whatever he can get at this point, I believe.  It’s AMAZING how he can lie daily to us, and yet there is still a loyal following that actually believe what this asshole is dishing out to them.  They are like hogs slathering at the feed though, sucking up his vile words like they are candy.  Yep, he is quite the con artist for sure. I am just really saddened that so many people have been  bamboozled by his insanity and daily lies.

Ah, it’s 4:21 am and the birds are starting to sing outside.  I have all of the windows and doors open, am sitting her in just my boxer briefs enjoying the coolness of the air upon my skin.  Yep, semi-naked blogging, hahahaha.  I love this time of morning, the peace and quiet, save for the sounds of nature waking up to this new day.  I feel like I can think so much more clearly and without noise pollution and obstruction from outside sources at this time of morning.

I am working at 6am, until probably about 1pm today.  Depending on how busy it gets there, I will stay as long as I am needed.  It’s going to be a bit more normal temperature wise, in the high 70’s, today.  Plus it’s air conditioned at work, so it’s not so bad hanging out there and working instead of being at home fighting the heat at high-noon!  Today is Friday, payday and errand day!  Linda and I will get together after we are done with our work/jobs.  We will go to town (Portsmouth) and take care of our weekly Friday errand lists.  Generally that entails a stop at the grocery store, smoke shop, gas station, Walmart and wherever else we need to go.  It’s become a ritual with us on Fridays now.  We team up in one vehicle as to save gas and wear and tear on our trucks.  We alternate vehicles each week, one week using mine and the next using hers.  I gassed up yesterday evening, so today I am sure we’ll use Linda’s truck so we can gas that one up and do our stuff.

I spent last evening cleaning up my house really good, getting organized for the weekend and so I won’t have any of that stuff to do today!  I like this feeling of accomplishment that comes with having a clean, organized and well maintained household.  I’m so excited for a good weekend, which I totally plan on having, that I even got up earlier than usual this morning.  I was up by about 2:45am, and raring to go!  I went to bed pretty early, so I got plenty of sleep I am sure.

Ok, Happy Friday!  I do sincerely hope that each of your days are good ones!  Everyone have a great weekend, and I may even write more tomorrow, depending upon time and how I am feeling.  Thanks for reading!  Thanks for following!  I sincerely appreciate you, my dear readers!    Peace!  ~MB

 

Plodding Along

If feels like months have gone by since I have sat down to write here.  I can’t say I’ve been overly busy, or anything.  Just haven’t had it in me to write much.  I feel kind of empty.  I know it’s just a rough spot, but fuck I hate it when I feel like this.

The political scene in this country is a tragic MESS.  Yes, the train is about to derail.  Trump has gotten himself into quite a pickle, and now we have a whole new investigation about to begin.  I am hoping this is going to sink this mother fucker for good.  He’s done nothing but piss on this country repeatedly, as well as on our allies too.  He needs to be deposed.  IMPEACHED.

It’s been super rainy and cold lately…until today, when the temps shot up to 80 overnight.  Tomorrow is supposed to reach the mid 90’s and I haven’t even gotten my air conditioning units installed in the house yet.  By the time I get to it tomorrow, after work, it will be well into the 90’s and I’ll be a hot mess doing it.

Everything else has been going okay.  I’m on track I guess.  Life just goes on as normal.

Hope you are all doing well!   Peace.  ~MB

The Gender Revolution?

It used to be so much more simple!  It used to be that you were either gay or straight, period.  Or at least that is how it was in my world growing up in the 60’s/70’s and partying my ass off in the gay bars in the 80’s…it used to be easier I believe.  I’m not knocking anyone’s gender or orientation choice here, just saying that it’s gotten VERY confusing for me.  I was just reading this article on npr.org titled “A New Generation Overthrows Gender” by Jon Brooks.  It was posted on Facebook, thus I clicked the link and knew I was in a world of word trouble immediately. 

First word I came across that is fairly new to me is “agender” – which according to the article means neither ale nor female.  The particular person in the article used the pronoun “they” instead of he or she.  Ok, so I am really, really trying to be okay with this.  I am really trying not to be internally phobic, or form an immediate opinion – because I know I don’t like it when people do that to me.  BUT I just don’t get it. 

Second word I came across related to this is “Transgender”.  Thank God.  A word that I know and can understand to some degree.  Transgender meaning someone who has changed from one gender to the opposite gender.  Transitioned.  More on this later. 

Third hurdle here “gender-fluid”…which means (according to kid in the article) that you feel like a guy or girl at different times.  I can somewhat relate to this.  There are definitely times for me that I get this twinge of feeling like a girl, but normally I just feel like a guy – although I know I’m a girl.  Confused yet? 

Fourth stumper “non-binary gender” meaning not female and not male according to the binary gender scale.  I’ll see if I can locate a picture of that old scale before I publish this.  But it’s like if you give Female a 1 and Male a 10, and you rate where in the scale you may fall or feel that you fall. 

Near the end of the article they bring up “gender non-conforming” – which I can definitely fully relate to.  I am one who does not conform to the gender norms of female.

And of course we have the weird word “cisgender” meaning you identify as you were sexed at birth – either male or female.   

Then it dives into Gender Vs. Sexual orientation Vs. biology….yes, it gets very in-depth for a minute here:

“Gender identity is different from gender expression, being different from biology” says Adam Chang, a consultant with Gender Spectrum, a provider or gender identity resources and services in Berkeley, CA.  “Identity is what you know in your heart and mind, and expression is external – hair, makeup, roles you take on in society.

“Biology of course, means physical attributes that have always been used as a proxy for gender,” Chang says.  “And all of those are different from sexual orientation.”

((HOLY SHIT BATMAN!))

Chang goes on to put it this way:  “Sexuality is in and of itself not enough information to reveal a person’s gender identity.”

I am 55 years old.  I am Butch.  I have said before that Butch is my identity.  Lesbian is my sexuality. Female is my gender.  Even THAT feels confusing at times.  I’m SURE it is confusing to those who don’t know me, or anyone like me.  Simply put, I’m a Butch Lesbian.  Lesbians are women (females) who prefer relationships with other women (females).  Or so it is in my world today.  There are so many new words that I can’t possibly keep up anymore.  Especially living in rural America where most of my contact with the rest of the LGBT world is via the internet.  Where we have no real “formed community” to fall back on or to learn alongside. 

I have seen a LOT lately about our youth and transitioning genders.  It worries me a little because the human brain is not fully developed until around the age of 25.  This is part of why we make so many stupid choices and dumb decisions when we are in our teens.  I’m afraid that if kids (under 21) are looking at things like transitioning physically with surgery and drugs that they will be doing things that are not reversible in their young futures.  AND I personally just don’t think they are old enough to be doing things like surgery or hormones. 

THAT is my personal opinion on it.  I understand that we are seeing a sort of “gender revolution” happening, that kids have access to all sorts of information that we did not have when I was growing up.  I never even knew the word “transgender” existed or that people could even change genders if they wanted to.  Sure, I was a tomboy, and there were times I am sure that I wished I was a boy, but I am happy with being a woman today and who know what I would have done had I known or had the means as a kid to change my gender.  It would have been a tough one for me I bet.  So, in many ways I am happy to have grown up when I did before all of this revolution and changing stuff came to the surface. 

I have young female friends who are considering transition.  One, in particular that I am thinking about.  I have been trying to be a good Butch role model and influence, answering questions and being a bouncing board for her venting.  But she is edging closer and closer to transitioning.  She’s now 17, I’m just not convinced that she should make that kind of a life altering decision before she’s 25.  Now, saying that I don’t see any harm in her presenting as she wishes.  I am just against early surgery or hormones. 

I know some will disagree with me.  It’s the elephant in the room sometimes even.  I am not anti-trans, and I have many trans friends who I love dearly for exactly who they are.  I respect their choices and decisions.  But most of them that I know made those decisions in adulthood, not in a pre-pubescent fog of “who am I?” or on a whim to fit in with the “in” crowd, or do the new fun thing. 

My fear is that the kid does this, transitions, and then at 25 the kid looks at every adult in her life and gets very angry at them for not stopping things until she was really old enough to make that kind of life-altering decision.  Know what I mean?  Adults are supposed to protect kids from themselves; from making irreversible mistakes, and what if transitioning turned out to be just that mistake that the kid makes and regrets at maturity?  I would hate to be in those shoes. 

Kids are maturing way faster than ever in todays world.  Information travels at lightening speed through the internet and across the world wide web.  We know things that we never knew, and probably never would have known, had it not been for the interenet – some good and some bad.  I think it’s great to explore sexuality and gender and to discuss our views based on the information at hand.  I just hope these kids today are doing their research and not just following a fad that could leave indelible marks.

The rest of the article goes on to talk about suicide rates (40% of trans-identified people attempt suicide), sexuality, and society.  It seems that while many more people are adopting identities of various names across the gender spectrum, that fewer are actually physically transitioning now.  Perhaps that is because we are making it okay to be who you are without having to completely change your body.  All in all it’s a very good article that everyone should take 20 minutes to read and gain some knowledge from.  I do think it’s very cool that kids are encouraged to live as their authentic selves, to express themselves and to be who they ARE in the world.   

So, check out the article and let me know what YOU think.  Peace.  ~MB

This is a highly controversial topic and I respect that everyone has their own opinions and views.  Please be respectful of everyone reading if you comment, which I invite you to do, below. 

Trump PROVES He’s a Total Idiot.

Yes, as if he could get any worse, this imbecile has gone above and beyond stupid.

And it only takes him a mere few hours to make himself look stupider than EVER!

Remember, it’s ONLY TUESDAY morning and so far he has:

called our Constitution “archaic” and “bad for the country” – meaning it’s bad for him because he can’t fully extend his totalitarian rule with the Constitution standing in his way.

Wishes to change the 1st Ammendment of our Constitution so that no one can criticize him.  Says “no one should be able to protest” him at all.  This is his attempt to silence the press – a VERY NAZI move and the move of a fascist.

Says he would be “honored” to meet with Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, and that Un is “smart”…yes, a dictator with blood on his hands, the killer of his own brother, he’s some “smart” alright, and just who I would like to see meeting with the leader of my country – NOT.

Invites a mass murderer to the White House – Duarte.  Enough said.

Has put into action the dismantling of Michelle Obamas healthy school lunch program.  And is ending her “Let Girls Learn” program as well.  He just cannot stand anything that was anyone elses idea, especially if your name is Obama.

Praised Andrew Jackson up and down, saying he “didn’t want the civil war” to happen.  THEN he finds out that Jackson had been DEAD for 16 years when the Civil War started, so he changed it to “wouldn’t have let it happen”.  Of course. Jackson was a slave owner, he forced Native Americans from their lands, thus starting the “Trail of Tears” and was an ignorant fuck.

THEN the Idiot in Chief says “Why did the Civil War happen?”  WTF???  He doesn’t even realize what he says anymore, or understand basic US history.  The Civil War happened to stop people from owning other people; to stop slavery.  It’s pretty simple, but he wouldn’t get it even if you tried to explain it to him.  He WANTS to own other people and thinks it’s perfectly alright.  Asshole.

I am just beside myself.  Just what HAS to HAPPEN before Americans wake up and get this fool out of office?  When will he get irritated enough with not being adored and admired by all, and RESIGN?

I do not fully understand what is happening with my country or my government.  We have this Orange Buffoon in charge who is trying to hold a coup and flip us to a dictatorship.  Yet, I see NOTHING being done politically to get him out of office or get control of him.  Republicans are cowed to him completely.  They just choose to ignore him, because as long as they have ANYONE who will identify as a Republican as their leader they will deal with the guy being a fool.  They don’t care about the American reputation or the American people one fucking bit.

It’s very early on Tuesday morning here, so we have the day to see what else will happen with this guy and his posse in DC.  I don’t predict that it will be anything good at all.  More of the same hateful rhetoric and destruction of the American life.

That’s your update…pray for us!

Peace.  ~MB