I hope 2017 is going to be a good year for everyone. Personally I have to believe that it will be better than 2016 by far!
2016 was a difficult year and a year of surprises, disappointments and a few triumphant moments for me. It was a year of changes; of making some good albeit difficult choices.
My personal friends list underwent a major revision and I laid some much needed groundwork for determining who I seriously called a true friend and who falls into that zone of acquaintances. Yup, I set my standards high this time. I am tired of fake people and those who come into my life full guns and then just disappear. Trust is a huge issue of mine. I can’t trust someone who is a fair weather friend and who can just disappear on me completely. 2015 & 2016 showed me a couple of those people and how it felt to be just kicked to the curb. So now I have rules and a much higher standard thy I hold people to if they want to be in my life. Fucked those fakes.
Trusting anyone with my innermost thoughts and feelings has never been an easy thing for me. I’ve trusted and been burned badly. Thus now I am much more cautious and my trust must be earned over time. While I do sort of miss a person who isn’t in my life anymore I do get that it was that person’s choice and they had a lot going on personally that I could not compete with. I only wish I had learned sooner not to invest so much time into a person; not to become emotionally involved, when that person doesn’t commit to you on the same level.
I am not an easy person to communicate with all of the time. I tend to hold my cards close to the vest in fear of getting hurt. This makes it difficult to have a close relationship with me. I know this. If the right person ever comes around who can prove to me that I can trust her it may be different. I do want to be close to some one again, to share laughter, secrets and maybe even a little romance…but I don’t care to get attached like I did last time and get kicked to the curb again. That really hurt me and the hurt has stayed with me like a scar on my heart. I have shown very little interest in anyone else for the last year plus…as much as that sucks.
I have developed a new friendship, actually an old one rekindled to be exact. I met and was frinds with Linda way back the day, but we eventually chose separate paths and our lives went in different directions for many years. This last year we reconnected and are now very good buddies. she is about as straight as they come, which is fine with me, I am not interested in her in any sort of romantic way. We are just mutually respectful best friends. I trust her implicitly and she has got my back 100%. I am very dedicated to our friendship and value it very very much. People who see us together often think that we are a couple, but there could be nothing further from the truth, we are just very close friends who would do just about anything for each other. True friendship, it really is a wonderful thing.
I have dabbled a bit in the romantic friendship sort of area lately, butnothing seems to work out for me. I have been talking to women who are far away from me geographically. That just seems to be the only kind of women that I am meeting. I meet them online, usually because of this blog and my interaction on social media venues. I think that I have met pretty much all of the various types via this methodolgy. I have met some good, decent women and I have met some pretty out there types. I have met fun girls and serious girls, girls who are laid back like me and then I have met a few who are so self absorbed that they could not possibly be considered relationship material. I got myself overy involved with a foreign chick a couple of years ago and it went south in a disasterous way. I do like getting to know someone through messaging, email and skype. It just makes a lot of sense in todays dating world. What I don’t like is getting attached or investing time and energy and then not having it pan out in any good way. I think that for 2017 I am going to just stay single and talk to whoever I want to talk to for whatever reasons. No committing to any one person and getting myself riled up when things do go as I envision them in my head.
I really just like to interact with interesting and fun people in general…some will possibly become friends and some will obviously not. I like intellectuals; people who like to talk about interesting stuff like books, sports, politics and who have interesting stories of their own to share. I get bored with the cutsie stuff – one can only take so many cute pictures of puppies before it just gets old.
I did learn one major lesson in trying to be a helpful friend in 2016 and I got burned hard. I helped someone out that I thought was a friend and she in turn stole from me, lied to me and put on quite a show before I smartened up at the suggestion of other caring friends and booted her out of my life and out of my home where I had let her stay to help her out as she was between living arrangements. I even helped out her 18 yr old son and loaned him a good laptop which I will never see again. Yeah, I tend to give people more chances to be good people than I should sometimes. I like to think that people are inherently good, and if you treat them the way you want to be treated then you will bring out the best in them….this is not always the case. This particular person I am speaking of is really scum of the earth, to take advantage of someone who is giving and trying to help her out was just really a rotten slimey thing to do. I feel bad for her son, who is now an adult and in college (last I knew anyways). He really got the short end of the proverbial stick with her. I don’t like him much as he’s a very nasty and mean kind of guy, but I see why he is that way now.
So in conclusion, pick your friend wisely. Value those who truly value you. There is nothing more precious or priceless than a true friend.