Hello Readers

I have been absent from the internet for some amount of time now and haven’t been writing or posting anywhere save for the occasional Facebook entry. I feel like I should apologize here to my followers.  I have several explanations for my absence actually.  Right now I am using my Acer tablet to write this blog as my computer is in the shop at the moment and has been for over a week. I am planning to pick it up on Wednesday of next week if all goes right.   I miss it terribly and don’t care for typing on the tablet or the phone very much but I wanted to post at least something here tonight.  That’s one reason, another is that I have been kind of in a weird place with the direction of my life lately.  I sometimes deal with depression and I have been fighting that off like crazy.  I don’t need a bout of that right now at all.  When I get depressed I tend to isolate myself and not talk to anyone much .  That is no way to live let me tell ya.  I hate it.  I also get super anxious and irritable and can have a quick temper.  Not fun for me or anyone who’s dealing with me.  I have been doing all that I can do to not go into this crap right now.  I been focusing on work and hanging out with my good friend Linda most days.  Work is going good.  My schedule has changed a bit.  I am off on Friday and Saturday now and working the other five days of the week.  I bust my ass at that place and deserve a raise right now, but I need to step up and ask for it….something I am not great at doing for myself.  So that makes me resent work somewhat.  I’ve been there almost a year now and know I need to speak up for myself soon if I am going to consider staying on with the company.  Obviously they aren’t going to come to me and offer it up.

I’ve been feeling like my life is changing in some ways and I’m not sure how exactly to deal with the changes.  Getting older isn’t all that much fun.  I am facing the big 55th birthday soon….I’m not looking forward to it at all.  At least I am still in decent physical health and am fairly stable.  It just scares me to be this fucking old. I’ve been dealing with weekly doctor visits and counselling sessions.  Trying to keep a grip on my sobriety and cope with an addictive side of myself.  It’s not working fully yet but I am on a good path I think.  Trying like hell to keep myself together.

The dogs are doing real good.  They are well adapted to my work schedule and they love my friend Linda whenshee hangs out with us.  I love their company and companionship.

OK….it’s time to get some rest.  I’ve been trying to keep a schedule of going to bed early and being well rested as I get really out of sorts when I am tired or run down.  Tonight is the debate….I MAY watch some of it if I can stomach it.

Good night and peace to all. MB

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2 Replies to “Hello Readers”

  1. Good to see you posting. When I don’t see a post from you I worry that you are in a bad place. Depression is a mean animal at times. I find that I have to find a way of distracting myself from those dark thoughts that try to creep in. But the night is when I have the most trouble, thus I get little sleep.
    Old age..oh my, 55. Wait to you get my age then you will have things to complain about lol. People hear 70 and they think you are too old…its just a number. I still am breathing and doing well for myself. I would never wish to be younger..too much heartache along the way.
    Keep posting my friend, it not only benefits you, but a lot of us as well.
    Keep smiling, Bert

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