Whassuppp?

ahh…I sitting at my desk and doing a little bit of writing for a change.  I know that I’ve been on  the missing in action list for quite some time due to a bucket load of issues. For me, life doesn’t just revolve around a computer, technology or being connected to the world by an electronic leash.  When my main PC started having major issues I just sort of switched it off and stopped writing. I didn’t pay any attention to Facebook  – during which time some moron hacked my pictures, pirated my page completely. I I complained to FB and they disabled MY account…great logic FB!  It turned out to be a pretty good think I think it’s a great thing to just put i all down and disconnect from the cyber world for a nice period of time once in a while.  Oh, I did put up a new page, just doewn’t have much on it and is set to mostly private for my friends list.

So, I broke out my Toshiba laptop and fired her up a few days ago, and while she’s got some bugs that I am working out it will have to work for now. Really, these days what do I use it for? WordPress, Facebook, my email accounts, maybe some shopping on eBay or Amazon.  Once in a while, I use it like a repair manual, looking up how to change a part on the truck or something……heeeey….wait, maybe it is fairly useful in many ways.  But honestly, I could live without all that stupid SPAM.   (couldn’t we all?!haha)

So, I’m doing alright now.  I have been super sick the last month or so.  I’ve been in and out of the hospital a couple of times.  I have to be at the hospital every day at 8:00am for a big shot in the ass – as you can imagine it’s a little tough to sit down (go ahead laugh!)  I have to have the shot because it’s super tough to get an IV line into me so after the first 3 days that I was in there they had about 12 different people try.  They stuck me with needles like a pincushion and my veins just wouldn’t cooperate.  They the words, “neck” and PIC lines came up and I said no way.  So we agreed that if I could go in every day for the shots I could go home and be more comfortable in my own space.

Periodically I got sort of run down and angry with life.  I stopped taking my HIV meds completely and that did not sit well with my immune system.  I got injured and then one thing led to another and I had a blood infection that wanted to kill me.  All of which could have been prevented, had I not been such an idiot.  I just got so tired of all the medications, the testing and everything that goes along with this stupid disease.  I take medications 3 times a day.   Got them set up in those little plastic boxes that tell me if I took  them or not.  I used to be diligent about it, but over the years, and with the wear on my mind I got easily discouraged.

I should have known something was amiss when  I started feeling so run down and was tired and sleeping all the time.  I originally went to the doctor for a very sore throat, which turned out to be strep and she put me on antibiotic for that, but my throat didn’t respond so we went to a higher antibiotic…it got better but not 100% .  Just so happened that I had another appointment with my specialist a few days later.  I felt like shit, looked horrible I am sure. I had a fever and really just wanted to be in bed.  She didn’t take 3 minutes to tell me she was having me admitted to the hospital and was going to run a barrage of tests.  And they sure did !   At that point I was pretty cooperative, I knew it was the best and safest place for me to be.

Once they got me settled into a nice private room (lucky me…?) Then came the troops to get that blood.  Seems they wanted a LOT of it.  Ideally, if they could get a good IV line in they could take the blood from it and then hook up the IV.    No such luck.  After a good couple of hours of “let’s try this one” they got an IV, but not one big enough to give all that blood they needed.  But we were half way there, now they could administer my meds at least.  Another phlebotomist did finally get the blood from my other hand.  I was pretty fevered up and out of it.  By this time, I didn’t care about all the needle sticks.  They did have to relocate the IV line a couple of times.

After a couple of days of solid bed rest (my friends took care of Lulu and Nola for me) and a constant drip of some super power juices, pain meds, and all the regular stuff my fevers weren’t so bad, I was just incredibly tired.  The stupid IV gave away again, so they came to put a new one in just about the time my specialist came to see me.  I refused to be IV ed again and asked her if I could just go home with meds.

The only way they would let me go was for me to go into the hospital daily and get a shot of the super juice for 21 days.  So that is the cycle I am in now.

I’ve been out of work now for 3 weeks.  They understand that I am having health issues and have been dealing with hospitals and doctors every day.  So I think they are pretty cool.  Plus they have hired some other part time help as well. After I get my stitches out of Friday I hope to be cleared to return to work I do miss that job.

Through out all of this my mom has been an angel.   I can’t drive because I have developed some neurolgical quirks, and they are doing a CT scan tomorrow to make sure that there are no blood clots, which they saw on the ultrasound and put me on Eliquis for them. Hopefully they will have disolved now and that’s not going to be a problem.  Mom drives me where I need to go, and she’s just awesome.  I am very lucky to have such a loving, caring mother.

The clots or something is making me very unsteady on my feet.  I’ve taken a few good falls, lucky not to break more bones!  I have to be really careful getting up and down from standing or sitting positions and can’t be moving too fast.  I’m sort of a fast mover to begin with, being a little hyper already.  But I m working at it!

The veggie garden is all up and started.   it turned out to be 8′ wide by 16′ long and is a raised bed (I used landscaping timbers for the box, which came out very nicely.  Put in 5 yards of nice screened loam and she’s all setr to grow away.  We (me and Charlie by neighbor who is working the garden with me) jhave been getting plants in like different varieties of tomatoes, squash, zuchinni, bail, herb, beans, and pumpkins of course.  At this point everything just has to grow. I do have to get some beans grown and perhaps a couple more things.  It should grow to be a nice little veggie garden.

So that my friend is where I have been for the last month or so….sick and dealing with some tough medical issues.  I’ sorry that I haven’t had more time to write.  But as my strength improves I am sure you will see more from me.

Pease~  MB

 

 

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Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

11 thoughts on “Whassuppp?”

  1. Sorry to hear you have been struggling so hard for so long. Glad you are taking care of business and getting better!

  2. Hey long time reader but not often commenter I’m glad that you are on the end illness really sucks chronic or not… Glad that you have a loving support system! Sending all my love and postive energy 😊

  3. Hi Angie! So glad you are still here among us 🙂 Great to hear what you’ve been up to. You have been missed! I understand taking a break from it all and appreciate you’re checking in to let us know you’re doing ok.
    Take care of yourself Ang, Gail.

  4. please get plenty of rest my friend, and take your dang meds !! , sending warm healing thoughts your way , and thank you for letting us know what’s up , sleep now… write tomorrow lol seriously … rest.

  5. It’s good to see you back and great to hear that you’re feeling better. Sounds like you have had a really rough time. Hopefully you can get lots of rest and get back to the land of living again. I’ve been wondering how you were doing so thanks for the update.

  6. Glad you are OK – but please, please, take your HIV meds – a lot of the long term survivors I know from ACT UP are having the same issues – it is a hard grind to take the drugs. I don’t want to lose another person. Hang in there, and fluff up the pups.

  7. You are so right, dear Ang ! Life doesn´t revolve around a computer .. I agree completely with u. I assent this statement and I will take serously this advice too 😉
    Take care of u , stay healthy and keep the faith ! 😀
    Thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts with us .
    Get well soon !

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