I’m about to go stir-crazy insane! I’m so bored just hanging out waiting on the date that I can move into my new place, the time is draggin on and it’s just driving me nuts. I read, I write, I color my mandalas and I watch TV…it’s about as boring as it can get. I’m staying at someone else’s house and it’s quite a ways from my normal “stomping” grounds. So the normal people that I see are quite a ways away. I’ve been h anging out with my cousin quite a bit, going to Christmas fairs and penny sales. Who knew about these penny sale things…it’s quite a process. I had never attended one before, and I find it fascinating to watch people buy the tickets to “win” the prizes. Most of the places that do it are doing it as fund raisers so the money goes to various good causes. Right now it’s mostly for the kids for Christmas.
I’ve been struggling a bit with my addiction issues. Recently I was taken off of my long term opiate pain killer regimen…because I tested positive for things I should not have had in my system and the practitioner didn’t like that. So I am struggling with pain issues, plus the mental and physical effects of withdrawal from the opiates. I’m considering investigating the suboxone/subutex treatment for addictions. But it’s really hard to think about going to a doctor and saying “hey, I’m an addict and I don’t want to be using illicit substances, so can I get something to curb that craving?” At one time in my life I was pretty much an illicit substance addict and I don’t want to go back there, but without my prescription meds I have that craving and need all the time. It’s something that’s been an issue for several weeks now, and it’s really bothering me. I think I would be a good candidate for the suboxone treatment and I understand it can be a long term thing which is okay with me as long as I don’t have to fight these intense cravings all the time. I am so afraid of falling back into old bad habits…that would just suck. It’s not something I am proud to talk about, but it’s a very big factor in my depression and in my life right now.