Thursday Thoughts

I am trudging along day by day here still.  Yesterday I broke down the aquarium and sent the fish off to a new home, sent the tank off to a friend who wanted it and got that mess all cleaned up.  One less thing to move and store!  I do plan to have a new aquarium once I am resettled into a new space.  They are making a “wide screen” type now that is thinner from front to back, like a flat screen TV sort of, like about 9″ front to back, and it looks really cool.  Plus it will take up less space!  I’ve got it in my memory banks now for future set up.  Maybe if I can get a camera to work around here I will take a photo of the one set up down at the pet shop and post it here for you all to see.  I really like having an aquarium in my house, it’s soothing to watch and fun to keep fish.  I’ve always had one, my mom got me my first one when I was about 5; she gave it to me for Christmas, hid it under the kitchen sink, all set up, until Christmas day!  So since then I have generally had one or two of them in my spaces!

Lulu got a full grooming by Meri the other day.  Got her nails clipped….what a job that was!  I had to basically muckle on to her and hold her down while Meri clipped them.  She is one strong little shit for a 3.5# dog!  She HATES to have her nails clipped.  And I don’t know why, she’s never had one miscut or been hurt while doing it.  It’s just her most hated grooming thing.  She then had a nice bath and clip, complete with softening conditioner and wow she looks some pretty!  She is just the sweetest little dog,  very social and very loving.  I’m really glad that she appreared in my life when she did, she’s very special to me.

Nola is doing well too. She has fully adjusted to having the pain in the ass little “sister” around and does really well with her.  Lulu tends to tease poor Nola alot,  but Nola has put her in her place a few times, which just has to happen.  I cannot continuously be there to be a barrier between the two, so Nola has to stick up for herself when Lulu goes into the teasing mode.  The two of then do sleep together on the couch.  It doesn’t bother Nola now when Lulu is “touching” her, as long as she’s not pawing at her a lot.

Sadly my mother had to have her little old dog, Maggie Mae, put to sleep yesterday.  Maggie was 14 and had congestive heart failure.  So she hasn’t been well the last year or so, Mom would medicate her every day diligently and make her as comfortable as possible.  But yesterday it just came to a head and there was nothing more they could do for the little dog.  I think Mag knew it was time to go too, she was a loving and faithful little companion for my mom for all those years.  It’s sad that pets have so much shorter life spans than we do as humans, we lose them long before we are ready to let go.  Mom has one other little dog left, Mr. Gemmi.  I call him Whitey Bulger because he’s pure white, a chihuahua and very unsociable.  He’s a little gangster!  But he loves my mother beyond all, and he will help her through her grief over the loss of Maggie.  He’s also quite a bit younger and will be around for a few more years still.  My mother is such a loving and kind person, and a true animal lover.  She adores her little dogs, and has always had 1-3 around.  Now she’s just got Gemmi and the 3 cats.  I know she will miss Maggie, but I hope she understands that she gave that little dog 14 great years of love and caring, and she did the right thing in the end by making that hardest decision a pet owner has to make.

I’ve been getting stuff into storage as much as possible anyway.  I have a big truck reserved for next Wednesday and will move all of the furniture then.  By then I should have all of the boxed stuff, and most of the smaller pieces moved to storage already.  So with some friends helping me, I should be able to get this place totally cleaned out by the end of the day on Wednesday.  Then I will clean it all up on Thursday and the sale is due to take place on Friday.  That’s all if things go as scheduled.  It all feels very sureal right now, I am still feeling like I am in limbo, but I am trying like hell to be patient and optimistic about the future and finding a new place.  I’ve had a bit of seller’s remorse, wishing that we had located a new place to live BEFORE this place got sold.  But things will work out, they always do right?  I just have to keep looking forward and looking to the future and building toward better things.  Good damned thing I am such a strong minded Butch, and so bull-headed.  I tend to be the type that will MAKE things happen and work out.  I don’t like to give up on anything easily.

I’ve had a lot of time to do a lot of deep thinking lately.  I’ve done much serious reflection on the last year of my life and thought about what I am doing and what I want to change or make different for the coming year ahead.  I like to have a plan in place, 1 year, 3 year and 5 year plans are good ways to keep things on track for me.  Moving right about now was part of my 5 year plan when I moved back here from Arkansas in 2011.  So I am basically on schedule with that.  My one year plan had me trading my vehicle for a truck about now, but I am putting that off for a while until I get the housing situation settled once again.  Patience, patience!  All things will happen in due time.

I am a little behind in my blogging and that is partially because I’ve had some minor computer issues, and WordPress keeps changing little things that just perplex me.  I know my blogs are a little boring, but they are more of a sort of journal for me and a space where I can vent a little about what’s going on.  It really does help me to write about things, think them out and write them down.  It helps me make sense of things.  Although I cannot make total sense of all that happened in the last year, I can certainly learn from all of the experiences I had.  It has definitely been a very trying year, and I went through a lot of hard stuff emotionally.  But I am a better person for it all, I am sure.  You can’t grow without dealing with some challenges along the way.

The sun is starting to come up, so I will get showered and start this day off here.  Let’s see if we can’t make some good things happen today!  🙂  ~MB

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2 Replies to “Thursday Thoughts”

  1. Hi Ang, sounds like you have things under control (as I knew you would) and you have a good idea of what you want to do. Just the thought of moving sends me in a tizzy. I am one that hates to move and will do anything to avoid it. It stems from my childhood, my father was in the Air Force and we did a lot of moving around.
    Sorry to hear about Maggie Mae, I know your Mom must feel lost without her. I agree with you we have our little bundle of joys much too short of a time and when they are gone a big hole is left in our lives without them. Well, best get on with my day. I have some food prep to do and then I think I will spend the rest of the day writing a bit. Hope you enjoy a least a part of the day, it’s a beautiful morning here,,,until next time
    Bert

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