Feeling Lonely…and Stressed

It’s a cloudy October Saturday…I over did it a little bit last night and am tired and got a touch of a headache today.  I don’t think I’ll be doing too much today that requires any kind of serious focus or physical energy.  Lazy day at home I think is what I will be doing.  I’m living in a sea of boxes and the place is a bit on the messy side, but it’s all good…it’s only temporary…this too will pass, as they say.

My house hunting is going very slow — at least it’s too slow for me!  I want to know where I am going like right now.  But I must be patient and try not to stress over it too much.  Things will work out, I am sure.  They always seem to play out as the universe has planned for me.  I generally land on my feet!

I did find a place that I want and things are in the works so to speak.  And it doesn’t need any real work done on it at all!  It’s move-in ready as it sits, everything is just about perfect with it, the floors are ALL nice hardwood and it’s got a spacious yard for the pups.  I should be able to get into it by mid-November, if not by the end of October.  Patience, patience, patience…

I am anxious to be in a new space, to have things back to normal in my surroundings and to be less stressed over it all.  I will be so happy when it’s all done and I am all unpacked and settled in.  Although I know that will take me a good part of a month once I get everything I own hauled over there.  I want to unpack very methodically and go through everything…this is a good time to clean out some clutter and lighten the load a bit.

The dogs will also be happy not to be continually bumping into boxes and out of place furniture.  Their new yard (praying things work out the way I hope they will) is pretty nice.  I will be able to put up a nice dog run line so they can be outside and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  I did have to talk my way in with 2 dogs, but the park manager was very nice about it and when she understood how tiny they are she was okay with me having 2.

My parents are in the middle of selling their home and moving as well.  The retirement community living thing just isn’t for them, they are too active and independent to be in a place that has so many restrictions.  I am happy that they found this great house with a nice big inground pool and their own land to move into.  Mom can have her chickens again and Dad can build whatever he wants on his house.  In the retirement community that they have lived in the last 5 years, there are a lot of restrictions on what you can and cannot do/have on your lot.  You own the home, but you lease the land it sits on, so someone is always telling you what is what.  I know they will be happier back on their own land and with this larger house they are buying.  I know they are some excited and their house is also a sea of boxes and misplaced furniture right now, along with their 3 cats and 2 dogs….

I’ve been pretty lonely lately.  I have to say that I don’t often feel lonely, even though I am usually alone, but lately it’s been getting to me. Some days I don’t speak to another human being all day.  Some days I got phone crazy and call everyone that I can think of just to break the loneliness up a little bit.  Once I am moved and settled I am going to really put a bit more effort into my relationships, they are in serious need of some first aid I believe.  I’m also going to put more into dating as well.  I have so many opportunities and I just don’t pay enough attention.  Man, it feels like I have so much that needs my attention, and not enough time or energy to get it all done.  I know…patience, patience, patience…


Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

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