Being Recognized on the Street…Attempted Reblog from QueeringtheNerd

WordPress is messing with my head this morning…where did the “reblog” button go?  Now it’s a “share” button, and it allows you to share across Twitter and Facebook as well?  I thought we were a little different here than on the other standardized social networking sites…I don’t wanna share!  I want to REBLOG!!!

The page I would like to REBLOG is Being Noticed on the Street by QueeringtheNerd’s blog written by PlainT.  It’s just an awesomely written piece about how when you live as an out LGBT person or are seen as a visible couple, people tend to have all sorts of reactions toward you…both positive and negative, some sweet, some violent.  Please take a few minutes to read this…according to WP’s new things here it’s less than a 3-minute read….yes now they are telling us how much time we should take to read each blog.  Maybe next it will be a read it out loud link!  Hahaha!

I have written before about how I am affected by my own appearance…by being very masculine in presentation and very Butch I garner more comments than you may imagine over the course of a day.  When I go out in public I am immediately recognized as part of the LGBT community – particularly the L and the T, often people are confused.  I do not usually correct people when they use the wrong pronouns, it’s just too much for my brain to imagine doing as much as it happens.

I am one that is easily spotted on the street, immediately noticed like as in “one of these things is not like the other…” (get that song stuck in your head now?!)  It has never bothered me.  I certainly do not do anything to soften the situation, I couldn’t imagine now trying to change myself so that I blended in with the straight crowd it just would be a big fat horror show.  When I was younger it bothered me much more than it does now.  Now it’s just the way it is.  When I was younger (and still had my feminine chest) I wasn’t mistaken for a guy as much as I am now, but I still had a presence that screamed GAY.

I live in a very rural to suburban part of the country.  I find most of the people here to be very open-minded and welcoming of all types.  Most of my friends here are straight and it’s not a “big deal” or strange that I am obviously lesbian and very Butch. They seem to accept and support me just as I am, which I like. I sometimes think that my being Butch makes people even more curious than my being lesbian…seems they all have “friends who are gay” too….I love that line, “oh!  I have several good friends who are gay too!”  Like I needed to know that soon after I just met you.  I know people mean well in recognizing me, and when I deal with assholes that are bigotted jerks – you know the ones who like to call names, or give you the stare – I can puff my little self up and be pretty mean looking.  It’s a natural thing for me, I just come off as hardcore even though I am not really that way at all.  I’ve got that rough and tough edge about me. I believe I developed that side of myself when I was very young, it was to protect myself so that no one would mess with me.  I figured if I looked tough and acted a bit crazy that I could keep the bullys away at school, then it just sort of spilled over into all parts of my life.

Anyway, I just wanted to reblog Queering the Nerd’s blog on this type of being recognized thing that happens to most of us, especially if you are Butch or coupled in a realtionship and it’s obvious.

Does it bother you to be recognized like this?

Peace~   MB

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One Reply to “Being Recognized on the Street…Attempted Reblog from QueeringtheNerd”

  1. Thanks for the reblog! I think you know my answer to that last question 🙂 I think it’s weird if someone pulls the “I have gay friends!” line, but on the other hand, it’s just a tactless way of saying “I was not brought up very open-minded but I try hard not to be homophobic”, which isn’t the worst crime. Yanno? Although, my tolerance for that stuff has declined somewhat with time. I’m very patient with my parents but less so if a coworker/acquaintance/friend says something like that.

    Visibility is a weird thing. It fills you with pride and it fills you with fear. One day, I got the BEST lesbian chin-nod-thing from an older butch in a suit, and a few blocks later a drunk woman started yelling homophobic expletives at me. Maybe I ought to learn the rough-and-tough thing from you, MB. My cushy suburban upbringing is written all over my face.

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