Writing is just the right outlet for me to release the proverbial steam vent in my head. I’ve tried not to write lately, tried to just stop and do other things – stupid things like chores and projects; things I can do anyway whether I write or not. I got tired of my being told what I could and could not blog about concerning my personal life, so I tried to just quit. But it doesn’t work that way in a writers life, we write because we breathe. It’s akin to giving up your favorite thing that you do for yourself during your days, would you do that? Just give it up because someone else doesn’t like you doing it? I think not.
I’ve read some great blogs this early Spring morning. From some awesome other bloggers. The thread that I see tying some of us together is that this is where we can vent about what is going on in our lives, and we do! It’s needed and necessary and there is a blogger’s solidarity that comes in to play. We read each other’s blogs, comment, try to give our best advice or opinion and boost each other up by reblogging the best stuff and linking our blogs together in a patchwork of this sort of cyber connection.
No, I just can’t stop writing, or blogging. I may go back and remove some posts that I was too hasty to put up, and I am giving much thought to how much of myself and my days that I will reveal or rant about, but I will still write nonetheless. I gave up a relationship that was very close to my heart recently, and I’ll be damned if I am going to give up writing too.
I’ve been battling my weight lately and it’s making me crazy. Every winter I pack on a few extra pounds, like a Maine black bear would living in this climate. From Halloween through New Years’ we do nothing but have parties and eat, eat, eat (because I am too damned old to live on the old standby liquid diet of my 20’s). Now I am faced with having to lose the 20 lbs. I packed on over the winter, or buy a new wardrobe. I tend to gain it all in my mid-section, so it’s the jeans that suffer through the size changes the most. I have been eating far more healthy lately, but still don’t feel I am getting enough exercise, and honestly don’t feel I have the energy in me to do more very often – which is problematic for sure and something I am trying to medically attend to right now. I was really active yesterday, raking the yard and putting stress on my body, and I ended up light headed, dizzy and had to take frequent breaks. My stamina just isn’t there yet. But I try to push a little more all the time, knowing that I can do it, and the weight will come off slowly over the Spring and Summer months. Now next cold season I am going to figure out how to NOT eat all that seasonal food and continue to exercise to keep myself more trim. I’ll never be skinny…and nobody likes a skinny Butch anyway! But I can definitely lose the 20 necessary pounds and be much happier with myself; it’s already started to come off, I just have to keep up my vigilance to make sure I don’t back-slide into bad habits again. I’m lucky to be in as good a shape as I am for my age and all anyways….but one can always strive to be better!
I’ve been pretty quiet and staying to myself these last couple of weeks. Things just don’t quit in my head or in my heart, and it’s an adjustment period that I am going through right now. I’ve had to let go of things, and people, like this before and it’s so very difficult and sometimes just downright sucks. But you can’t fight someone who is very stuck in their thought pattern and is unwilling to listen to reason. I have my reality and I know what’s going on, I know things will become easier with time and I will remember only the most important points. With every interaction there is an equal and opposite reaction, it’s how you handle it all that counts. I’m handling this in the best way I know how for all concerned. I do thank my lucky stars for the couple of closer friends that I have who have been very supportive to me.
Ok, off to the shower and to start my day here. I’ve got to fill my time so that I don’t over-think things. I hope you all have a great day as well. Rock on. ~MB