Being my authentic self means I am never concerned with putting on airs of being any other way than the way that I am in this world.  I don’t enjoy any cloak of invisibility in my life.  What you see is what you get with me.  I walk the world as my authentic self every day.  I have serious aversion to trying to be any other way, or to fake anything.  I think that I have steeled myself to the world’s prejudices against people like me, and I just don’t buy into there being any other choice than to be authentic and real.

Sometimes I feel inferior or not enough in some circumstances.  I feel like there is always more for me to learn about people, things, places, etc. And life IS a constant stream of learning, of subtle changes in each person, of hardening and softening, and of giving and taking.

I spend a good amount of time alone.  Just me and my dog.  Sometimes I yearn for the contact of another person.  I yearn for the physical touch of someone else.  Not just anyone, but the touch of only one who I trust not to break my fragile shell.  I can be so tough, yet so weak at times.  The touch I crave does not push me beyond my boundaries; and it itself is authentic in it’s own desire.  I wish for that touch, that kiss, and that authenticity as well.

I suffer a well of loneliness sometimes, I wonder if as authentic as I can be is enough for someone to notice me and want me in ways that I might want them in my life.  Perhaps my edges are too sharp and prominent but to tone it down would be betraying myself in so many ways.  Thus I continue on hoping that I will indeed be enough one day.

I’ve been through some storms in life; had my share of troubles and trying times.  I am sure they’re not over yet either.  Every day brings something new to the table, and every day I deal with it the very best that I am able.  My convictions are clear, I am formed by my past experiences and trials, making me a stronger warrior.

Inspired by Dawn to Don



4 thoughts on “Authenticity

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  1. You should never feel inferior, sounds like you have through hell and back yourself and like you said you are a warrior. A warrior would never feel inferior, hopefully with spring coming and no more harsh Maine winter the weather will brighten your spirits.

  2. I wish more people would be like you and remain authentic , as you said I’ve no time to pretend to be anything I am not, I am me, accept me or don’t.

    Hang in there friend, you are a true inspiration.

  3. There’s no reason to be otherwise. You undoubtedly are one of the most authentic people I have had the pleasure to know. Our friendship spans years, and in those years, you have been a warrior for life and living it on your own terms. It is one of the most gratifying things in life to have someone you trust with everything and anything, and no doubt I always will. NOTHING about you is inferior…nothing!

  4. ” Perhaps my edges are too sharp and prominent but to tone it down would be betraying myself in so many ways.” <so love these words.

    I've started considering it, sometimes anyway, a cursed blessing. to be authentic and also accepting ppl judging my authenticity simply because they are use to the opposite.

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