I have a good amount of ADD. I’ve been working with the doctor and therapist on this lately. I can’t seem to concentrate or focus on things that I need to be focused on. My thoughts race and things don’t get done, or get partially done, or I procrastinate them for days. It’s gotten worse as I have gotten older, I swear. I’m in the middle of a project now here at the house that I HOPE to finish today. But it has taken some serious concentration to get it done, lemme tell ya….oh look something shiney…..heh
I live alone. I have to take care of the house, inside and out, by myself, plus taking care of myself, the dog and the truck along with the house. I also have a few other interests, things that I do, like my writing for one, and various artsy types of things for another (which is supposed to help me with my focus). Those can be seen by some as hobbies I suppose. But to me my writing is far more than just a hobby, it’s something that demands my time and attention and that I do as part of a routine everyday. I guess it’s a pretty boring and mundane life, but I enjoy it because I like the solitude I think. I’m just meant to be alone.
I used to read a lot more than I do now. Books are important to me, printed paper books. But with the ADD I find it hard to focus to read more than a chapter or two, when I used to be able to sit and read a whole book in a day. I can’t recall the last time I actually really enjoyed reading a good book. Sad.
I been feeling a bit lost lately. Not sure of what to do or where I belong. Or even if I belong anywhere. Sometimes I feel like I am just floating through this existence waiting for the inevitable death to come upon me and to move on to whatever is next. Maybe it’s just the ADD, with which I have become a creature of habit and consistency…when you take something away that I am focused on and interact with every day it sort of messes up my world for a little while. Yeah, I’m missing something.