Once again I am awake at 4am and thinking about life, love, and all the screwy stuff that goes along with them. I had a rather manic sort of day. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself for much of it. I went and tended to personal grooming things like getting a fresh hair cut, picked up my prescriptions and some ice melt for the drive way…along with 2 candy bars that I definitely didn’t need. Hell, I even stopped at the salon and got my eyebrows waxed after finishing at the barbershop. One drawback of the barbershop, they want to shave the eyebrows, and I’m not a fan of shaving them I’d rather have them waxed. If I had a barbershop it would offer eyebrow waxing for sure. I’m sure that guys have this issue too. I was quite jealous of the guys ahead of me that got full facial shaves with the straight razor, it was a thing of envy, and watching the concentration on the barbers faces as they tended their clients was inspiring. I love my barbershop, it’s old school all the way.
Let’s talk about fishing. I am a catch and release fisherman. I love the sport of gearing up, catching the prize and releasing it unharmed back to the water from which it came; no worse for the wear in most cases. Why? Because I like preservation of the species (small or large mouth bass) AND I am in the hunt for the PERFECT specimen – which I will then KEEP, mount, stuff, and brag about for the rest of my days. Thank goodness that when you catch most fish and throw them back they become “bait-shy” and won’t just hook back onto your line right away. Most smarter than that somehow, and they have a sore lip I suppose.
Sometimes I feel like that one foolish fish that gets thrown back and then lured into being caught again by the same fisherman. I suppose it’s the idea that I catch feelings the the fisherman and I want to be back in the boat with him; I want to go home with him, be mounted, stuffed and displayed on a wall with a brass plaque saying how great a catch I am, and for him to tell all his friends, to show them, to gloat on me and to keep me forever. But as I get caught again, and again by the lures of this particular fisherman, he looks at me, checks me out, teases me with his thoughts, mulling over if I am good enough or not…and…then he throws my stupid ass back again. I swim around and watch the fisherman, and when he seems relaxed in the boat I hit the line again…maybe this time I will be his perfect catch…!!!
One of these days I am going to be so beaten up from the repeated “catch and release” and from all of the effort to please this fisherman, that I will finally swim away and find a good place in the lake of life to heal up, grow stronger, grow bigger, and once again begin that hunt to find that one fisherman that will choose me as his catch of the day. I’m someone’s perfect catch, they just don’t realize it. And for that fisherman who keeps throwing me back, it’s only a matter of time before I too become bait-shy and swim away.
I know it’s an analogy, but it works. So, either fish or cut bait. Don’t keep throwing a perfectly decent fish back and thinking you will always be able to catch another, because one day no fish will bite and you will be that lone fisherman in a boat on the water, drifting. And sometimes even the very best of fishermen go home empty handed. So bait me and catch me if you can or I might just be proudly hung on someone else’s den wall. And I may have some battle scars from my fights with life, but the fisherman will be proud still and will say “my fish was the toughest, and the best.”
If you didn’t catch the meaning of all of this, it’s that you can’t keep luring someone into your life, then push them away when you have a bad day, or they aren’t perfect at that moment in time, or you cop an attitude about something. Be very careful when you choose to cut the line and let the catch go, because at that moment you may realize … you just let the big one get away.