You Don’t Know Me

I started to write this post yesterday, got a page done on it and LOST it.  I wanted to put out there, for those who read me but don’t actually know me at all, it seems there’s a thought that I am a player and being quite promiscuous.  I would like to clarify this right now.  I am a very picky Butch.  I don’t just date or engage with anyone.  I have not been seeing anyone here since early last fall, and that didn’t work out, even though I do think it very well could have, it did not.

I have a few friends who text me.  And I have just one woman that I am quite taken with that I talk to everyday, but it’s complicated.  Being involved with me is complicated in general.  I am set in my ways, very used to having things my way, and I have chronic health issues that I deal with, that can complicate romantic relationships.  Not to even mention that there is no one around here that understands me as a Stone Butch, or no one I have met up to date.  It’s not like I live near a city that has a huge LGBTQ crowd, or area.  There are no gay clubs here, and I am too damned old to be clubbing anyway!  Most of my interaction with the LGBTQ community is done online, reading other blogs and by computer interaction.

I am at a point in my life where I would like to settle in to a relationship again; to have a life-partner to share life with on a regular basis.  I am patient.  I will take my time and make sure that I am connecting with someone who will be good for me and I will be good for them.  It’s a delicate balance in the end.  We both must be getting something we need from the relationship for it to work out well.

When someone takes the time and makes the effort to get to know me they see that I am a gentle soul, and that I am a very loyal person.  I’ve got a sarcastic sense of humor, I like to use humor to cope with life quite often.  If I can’t laugh at myself and my world sometimes it would be pretty boring.  I can also be very serious, and somethings I do take very seriously, because that’s the way they are meant to be handled.  My personal life I do take very seriously.  And I take my privacy of that seriously as well.

I live a very quiet life here in southern Maine.  I don’t do the bar scene at all.  I don’t drink. I don’t do heavy drugs. I enjoy quiet nights at home.  I have my dog and my house and truck to take care of, and that’s basically what I do.  I keep busy, I write a lot — more than what you see here on this blog, but much of that is kept private.  My online persona may come off as mean sometimes, but that’s because I am blunt.  I tell it like I see it.  And I pull no punches.  If you don’t want the truth from me, then don’t ask.  I realize that I am also fairly opinionated, and I am old school, so my thought processes may not always mesh with those of my readers.  Diversity is good.

Yes, I’ve been around the relationship block a time or two, having had a couple of very long term successful relationships with women who have even remained friends to this day.  I don’t like to make enemies, and there is no use in burning perfectly good bridges or severing connections that may prove useful again one day.  I don’t see anything wrong with staying on good terms with ex’s…at one time they were people who were the closest to me, they know me well, and I them.

So it’s colder than the south pole here in Maine right now.  Woke up to -11 F this morning, with wind chills bringing it to the -25F mark.  I am so anxious for Spring it’s not even funny.  I can’t take much more of this bitter, driving cold that goes right to the bone.  And now I am about to go out and warm up my truck so I can go do some errands….brrrr.

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3 Replies to “You Don’t Know Me”

  1. you know, I never thought of you as a player, I got the impression that you are a hopeless romantic at heart and don’t serial date, as for coming across as mean? naw, you just tell it like it is from your heart, nothing wrong with that at all, honesty is a rare find now a days, especially online, it’s much appreciated.

    we are a like in a lot of ways, I too do not live in a city , there is no LGBTQ of any kind out here ,except for me now (that I know of anyway) , I don’t do the bar scene, and though I do enjoy a cold beer on a hot summers day or a good glass of spiced rum and cola occasionally , I seldom drink , and don’t do drugs.

    I tend to think of you as old school, not nowhere the same as these younguns coming up behind us, I think you and I are becoming an endangered species lol it takes a special someone to be with an old school , not just any girl fits that bill, hang in there my friend, she will come , never give up 🙂

  2. I don’t know where people got that impression either; you seem very respectful of the women you pursue. You don’t need to defend yourself; this is your space and people can interpret what you write however they want, but sometimes people only see what they wanna see. You owe us readers nothing. 🙂

  3. I enjoy reading your posts! I know it’s cold way up there, but I wish I could go home sometimes (Boston, MA), a bazillion feet of snow or not.

    I’ve never got the player feel from you, but of course, I only read your blogs. You don’t seem that way. My girlfriend gives off that vibe to a lot of people, and she’s not a player either. Also, too old for that nonsense.

    As for the LGBT community…I feel you. There’s nothing here, just me. Hell, I had to go online to find Mia because of that and appearing perpetually straight. I’d like to have more community though, wouldn’t you? It’s just something I think about…

    Don’t let these people bother you, they’re not worth your time.

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