Serial Monogamy, Sex, and Testosterone

I’m feeling kind of wild and frisky tonight….not sure what to write about so I’ll write about a couple of thing that have been on my mind or that I’ve been reading about lately.

Serial Monogamy…yeah that’s sort of been my relationship style, if you call it a style.  I am a loyal and committed son of a Bitch for sure. Plus it’s just too difficult to juggle too many people for me.  I would rather see one person than do a lot of dating around, and by that I don’t mean sleeping around, I’ve got more couth than that and more self respect.  It takes a certain kind of woman to get me into bed, to get me into desiring her body in that way where I have so have to satisfy my hunger for sex.

I mean can we talk here?  There’s a difference in my life between fucking and making love…I happen to really enjoy both.  and I like a partner who can roll both ways with me.  Fucking is far more primal and instinctual with me, it’s something that I just have to have, fast and furious, hard and long.  Making love is a much slower process and intense in it’s own way.

I don’t talk about sex much in this blog…but Kink Praxis blog (XanWest) did a blog piece called “I Talk A Lot but Not About That”  on how us Butch tops don’t talk much about our own needs and wants as far as sex goes.  And they are right!  We don’t talk about it, but are much more concerned with the bottom’s needs, wants and feelings…that’s what we want to talk about, no our own feelings and needs. Xan says something to the effect that the top does and the bottom feels...seems to work for me perfectly.   We seem to have some unwritten law about discussing such things, am I right?  Our needs and wants seem obvious to us, we need and want our partners to be satisfied and we have a hell of a time enjoying that ourselves.

One of my Fetlife friends started conversation about Stone Butch sexuality and the way it’s easier for them to date Stone Femmes…I have to say I nodded wholeheartedly on this one.  It IS easier for me to date a Stone Femme because then I don’t have to go through the explanation that often you do with those who don’t get the Stone identity part, I don’t have to be uncomfortable and I feel much more understood by a Stone Femme, in ways that not all can really understand me.  Man, you gotta love the Butch – Femme dynamic, it never leaves us without something to discuss and haggle over.

Let’s talk about testosterone….I take a low dose T for two reasons, it boosts my energy level and it boosts my sex drive.  I am 53 and I needed a little T to make things better and to make sense in my life.  I’m not on a transitioning dose and am not transitioning. Other than some extra body hair growth the T has done just what the doctor ordered for me.

Vulnerable Verbiage wrote an interesting blog on her opinion on Testosterone…here’s the link…Grips from Society and it’s her personal study into whether we are allowing HRT and T therapies too quickly with people. It’s an interesting read and I do agree with some parts of her writing on the subject.  She wanders into thoughts about a gender neutral world…where it would be more normal just to be a good person than to have to pick a specific gender

So there’s what’s on my mind tonight…T and sex…pretty typical actually.  I don’t think I am the only one who thinks about sex on a daily basis, I ‘m just brave and crazy enough to admit it.

I am going to see 50 Shades on Saturday night….and I want to come home and re-enact the whole film…damn….


4 thoughts on “Serial Monogamy, Sex, and Testosterone

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  1. I find this very interesting.. As you know, Trina is VERY Butch and I am very feminine.. I have to say that it’s equally important for me to have her be equally satisfied after making love or fucking hard core.. She thinks the same, as long as I’m Satisfied, that’s all that matters.. I, myself feefeel that’s being selfish and I long to feel that I also satisfy her as well.. Am I wrong in thinking this way ??

    1. No you are not “wrong” but LISTEN to Trina, if she’s telling you she is pleased with things this way then do not question her on it. I know that for me sex is a big mind fuck. It’s my mind that my Femme is twisting into pleasure, and my body follows with orgasmic pleasure. She doesn’t have to touch me where I am uncomfortable for that to happen. I am sure Trina is probably similar in feeling. Our satisfication comes from satisfying our Femme counterparts…it’s hard to explain, but it’s so true.

  2. wow. sooo…blush lol love the post. got me to look at Kink Praxis’ blog and read more on a dynamic I am only slightly familiar with. also got me thinking once again about my own sexuality and why my second and current relationship with a woman who is old school Butch is so different from my first relationship with a woman who was Soft Butch and very (too) fluid in her sexuality which at times confused the hell out of me…terms terms TERMS! But you get it, I hope. Point is the difference is huge and because of the rare-if-ever touching of my current Butch and the fuck-me-everytime of my ex Soft Butch, I get confused by liking one more then the other and have often wondered if I boarder on Stone Femme. It is a dilemma I have never discussed before, but have wanted to. Hmm. Need to explore this some more… So thanks for opening up the dialogue a little in my mind (great just what I need, more thoughts crammed in there lol) but really lol. thanks!

  3. I’m pleased that it has opened up a self-dialogue with you! We all need to be stimulated intellectually sometimes, and I find that this blog is my outlet to that for me. I can just imagine the dilemma of going from a “soft” Butch to a Stone Butch…I personally am stone, and I prefer Stone Femmes so that we understand each other a bit better. Thanks for reading me, and all of the great likes and comments you have left, they do not go unnoticed! Be well! ~MB

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