It’s the dead of winter here, those really long days of tons of snow and bitter cold. Not a good time to be in New England for sure. I wish like hell I was in a much warmer and more pleasant place! A big blizzard came through two days ago and dropped 31.5″ of fluffy snow, pushed around by 40+ mph winds and freezing temperatures, the drifts were enormous! The snowbanks at the end of my driveway are over my head…AND there’s more coming tomorrow (predicting another 10″) and more coming on Monday of next week from what I hear. Snowpocalypse….2015. It’s like being battered over and over and not being able to stop it. The problem is where to PUT all the new snow that’s going to arrive in the next few days! February is going to be our snow month, at least for the start of it!
My SUV transmission crapped out on my yesterday afternoon. This morning I had AAA tow it over to Portsmouth to Aamco Transmissions to have it looked at. Looks like it needs a rebuild, it’s toast. Luckily when I bought it 4 months ago I also purchased the premium extended warranty, so the majority of the work is covered by that, but still it will be a few hundred bucks out of this coming month’s budget. I don’t expect to get it back before Tuesday, 2/3/15 at the earliest. I am not used to being grounded at all. I’m very used to having a vehicle at all times, and not good at living without one. It’s going to be a difficult weekend of depending on other people for rides and my supply run. And incoming snow doesn’t help at all.
So I’ve been cooped up in the house since yesterday afternoon, just me and Nola (my dog). It sucks. But it’s given me plenty of time to think and reorganize my priorities. One of which being that I had to extract myself from talking to a person I thought was just a friend. She said over and over that she just wanted to be friends…even when I wanted more, but then when I made a coffee date with someone else yesterday she had a melt down over it. Accused me of lying about it, but the part I don’t get at ALL is why? She said she wasn’t going to be with anyone, and especially not me and we were just friends, so she had no reason to have a kibby fit over me going for a simple coffee meet up with someone else. It just didn’t make sense, and she’s got another woman there who’s hot on her ass too….so double WTF? How can you be mad at me for going out with someone else when you are doing the same thing, even more so! I didn’t think anything of it when I said I would meet my friend here for coffee….I never thought for a second it would cause a problem. But it did and it ended a friendship. It’s just as well…she was screwing with my head far too much. I had gotten pretty attached to her and it wasn’t healthy for me because she would keep telling me I didn’t care and I was lying…all not good for my own psyche. I wasn’t lying, I do like her alot and wanted more, but not under these crazy circumstances. So it’s best that we don’t communicate. I haven’t yet done the deleting thing, but I might as well just do it and be done. It got too dramatic for me, too many people in the mix with her new friend, etc. I just couldn’t take the fighting and stopped responding. I know that’s not the totally right thing to do, but I had to stop it somehow.
There is a lot to be said for good communication in a relationship…even in a friendship. When one person sees it one way and the other sees it another way it’s never good, I have found. No I didn’t give my friend details of my coffee meeting…I didn’t see where it made any difference. We were just friends right? And friends do date other people…at least in my world we do. Perhaps the customs are different elsewhere. But one thing is for sure, you can’t have it both ways. And she obviously didn’t want me seeing anyone else, but she didn’t want to see me either…and she had another woman on the line too….talk about having your cake and eating it too….not
So there are good things happening in my life too. My friend from Vancouver is hopefully coming to spend 4-5 days with me in April! Yay! It will be the 2 year mark since we have seen each other. She was here 2 years ago in mid-April we remembered. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again and having some low key, laid back fun. Hopefully the weather will be much warmer and more manageable here by then too. She and I write letters back and forth via snail mail quite often, and I do enjoy her company immensely. She is genderqueer and on the masculine side, but we get along famously, and she’s very attractive. I can’t wait for her visit!
I was introduced to the Savage Lovecast by my Vancouver friend also. It’s a cool podcast that I listen to while I am writing and zipping around the internet perusing webpages. Here’s the link to Savage Lovecast. It’s a very sex-positive and honest, queer positive and stresses open communication. I’ve found them pretty interesting. I love that the ads are for sex sites, and products….very cool. Oh, and it’s hosted by Dan Savage, in-case you didn’t catch that inference. warning: Adult content and Adult language
What are some of you favorite sites? Sex-positive web pages? What entertains you on the web related to LGBT issues?