I was thinking that I was going to take a hiatus from writing in this blog. Seems that you can’t write without self-censorship today. Whenever I have written about other people in my life in my blog I have kept them as anonymous as absolutely necessary and possible. I give people nick names and my lips are sealed with their real identities…. Yet it’s not enough. So, I was thinking that unless I have something that’s not about my life to write I would not be writing about it here, because I would rather be silent than to self-censor my words and thoughts. And I don’t care to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel uncomfortable with my writing, I seriously don’t.
Problem here is that writing is what I do and do best. and If I can’t write about my thoughts and what’s happening in my own life when I feel like it then what’s the use? It saddens me that my words get picked apart and sometimes someone will focus on just the one line of a post and not read the more important parts of the post. It saddens me that I have to go back to trying to write about my life, without really writing about my life. I’ve always done my best to protect the identities of people who require it in my blog posts. And I think I have done a good job of it.
I write a fucking stupid blog online that a handful of people read. My blog is not famous and is definitely not front page fodder for gossip.
I’m a very even tempered kinda guy. I’m also fairly outspoken and opinionated, I know it. But, I don’t hold grudges or let negative shit hang around in my brain long. Get over it is my motto. If it’s not going to affect your paycheck or you won’t die from it then get over it. Maybe I am too laid back about it all. I don’t believe there is much in life that’s worth getting too riled up about, if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. Sometimes that’s that fun of it all too.
I have actually given some serious thought to giving the poly lifestyle another chance…it would be so much easier I think to develop friendships that include casual sexual encounters for fun and a good time. No strings, no commitments, no attachments and no copping feelings for someone. It sounds so fucking easy and I suppose that it is for someone like me who can delininiate between sex pure and simple and loving/making love. But I seem to be attracted to women who are more into monogamy, and I too have some desire for that security as well…sometimes I just think it’s a toss up.