Butch Stuff

Hardest Loss

A fellow blogger friend of mine is going through the HARDEST loss of all – her wife is dying.  Here we complain about little things, and she’s dealing with this completely life altering experience that is going to leave her and their son devastated…I am ashamed that I ever complain at all about anything.  The hardest loss of a lover I have ever experienced has been the common break up…where you split up but everyone lives and everyone gets over it with time and space.  This loss my friend will be enduring here is one where there is no make up sex, no apologies, no forgive mes and no second chances.  This is permanent and forever.  I am so incredibly sad for this friend.  I don’t know what to say or do.  It’s a fellow Butch…and we all know us Butches like to stand as strong and as tough as we possibly can regardless of circumstances. She will be strong for their 13 yr old son, he will need her to be there for him.

and BC67 says to us all…’Please do me a favor…. tell those who matter that you love them and truly mean it, take a break from your busy lives and just take in the sunset with the ones you love, make each moment count and even if your atheist …. just this once say a small prayer of thankfulness for those you love.”

I can’t even imagine what it is like to lose a partner to death…I can only believe that it has to be THE hardest way to lose someone that you love, and that who loves you.  These two are supposed to celebrate their 18th anniversary on Valentine’s day, but now BC says they may not even have that long, the cancer is spreading very fast and aggressively throughout D’s body.

BC has kept us all abreast of this battle with cancer and how it’s affected her little family there in the great Canadian plains.  She’s wrote about how life on the plains is tough to begin with, a real challenge to survive and thrive in a very cold and unforgiving climate.  She’s written about how great her son Hammy is and how devastated he will be upon losing his mother, and how raising him will now be her primary focus.  The loyalty and commitment that exists in this relationship is truly one example of unconditional love and devotion.

I’m often inspired by BC67’s writing and often it’s my “go-to” blog when I come online to read daily.  I feel like I have come to know this blogger and am honored to call them Friend.  during this time of sadness in their household, I will hold them all tenderly in my prayers and thoughts.

We all tend to bitch and moan about trivial stuff days, and we should take a moment today to realize what is most important to us in life and make sure that those we love know that they are loved.  And I hope that each and every one of you out there has someone close to you that will love you beyond all.  Sometimes we get lucky and we get to have that once in a lifetime chance at real love, and I believe that BC and her wife have found that love and that love will carry them all through this very hardest part of the journey.

It’s Saturday…I think I have another day down to try to get rid of this chest infection I have.  It’s turned into bronchitis at this point, and my coughing is horrible.  I have plenty to get accomplished right here, and in my office, today, so I will definitely stay busy. Perhaps even more writing later on, but for now I shall sit and have my coffee and contemplate what I have to do.  ~Peace~   MB


2 thoughts on “Hardest Loss

  1. marilynmunrow says:

    Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
    I read her story on her blog, and i am so very very sorry. I did not realise Butch was a woman, but this makes it even more sad that a loving and caring partner is about to pass and there is nothing anyone can do about it, but love and honour her. I am living with cancer at the moment and i know how it affects our loved ones. It is heartbreaking and devestating. I pray that Butch and her wife can find the happiest days of their relationship in these dark days here at the moment. I pray that she can fight to stay with her wife and son Hammy, and that God grants them all the peace that they so need at this time in their lives. I agree with her, we do not tell the people who we love, that we love them enough.

    I take time out every single day to tell my family and friends how much they mean to me. We take our lives for granted too much. GOD BLESS YOU BUTCH AND YOUR WIFE AND CHILD. Peace and serenity to you all. So sad and so sorry again.


  2. Ang, I’m so sorry to hear again about your friends wife and that she’s losing her life is going to be quickly than expected it to be.. I know how it feels to lose a loved one, as you know I lost my mom 5 yrs ago, it was and still is very difficult for me.. Although I have also lost an ex lover it hit me like a ton of bricks, as we spent 6.5 yrs together and had just broken up, she knew she had cancer and didn’t tell me until I found out.. I stayed with her until she took her last breath.. She died in 2000 and although I’m in a wonderful relationship, I still miss her tremendously and visit her grave often, Trina knows and we talk about Pam often, as she knew her too.. She’s very understanding of my feelings and I am very fortunate about that support.. Back to BC.. I know how much she loves her wife and how hard it is for her and her son.. She sounds like a strong woman and father figure to her son

    She will suffer for some years to come, in time she will learn how to cope with the loss somehow and focus on her son and how to raise him like her wife would have wanted.. I truly am sorry for the up and coming of the death of your dear friend.. My sincere condolences go to BC and her son..



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