Minor Addendum to My Rambles…

“You may feel vulnerable today and struggle to maintain boundaries in your relationships. This could cause you to react hastily to the influences of others or speak harshly in an effort to defend yourself. You may find it beneficial to spend some time working on your inner perception of security today, because the more stable and secure you feel within yourself, the less affected you will be by the words and actions of others.”

This was my horoscope…yes maybe I do I react too quickly sometimes, and I do struggle with what boundaries to set in relationships.  I’m not sure if it’s really insecurity, because I feel like a pretty secure person, but it’s more cautionary.  I kind of said some things in my last blog that were maybe not quite in line with what I meant.

My friend Mushy is a bit younger than me like by greater than 15 years…and I didn’t mean to insinuate that I seriously wanted to be younger, because she prefers older women anyways, so it’s actually to my benefit to be the age that I am.  We get along so awesomely, and I don’t want to do anything to harm that at all.  So maybe I spoke too soon in saying I was too old or that the distance was too great…hey we have modern technology ~ Skype!

This morning she changed a standing 4 year long routine just to get to her office and Skype me really early about my comment…which again shows me that she knows her priorities very well.  I would never have asked her to skip her routine morning workout, but she did just to talk to me….amazing and awesome woman that she is; she skipped it for the first time in 4 solid years…wow.  That’s what I call good prioritizing!

I’m also not looking to date here…there are claims I threw myself back onto the market with my last post…which was not my intention at all.  And I am not on any “market” so to speak.  While I invite positive thinking people into my life, I do not have a lot of “friends” to speak of.  I keep to myself for the most part, and I am very selective with both who I am interested in knowing and who knows me.  I may let you read me, but I’m not letting you into my head unless you are someone that I think deserves space there, and you are willing to do the work to get to know me.  My writing is only part of who I am, and I only disclose what I am comfortable sharing; I do not share all that goes on. Occasionally I do a private post when something is near and dear to my heart and I don’t wish to just randomly share it with the world.  This blog is the base for a book…and thus I do post publicly, privately, and sometimes in password protected modes. I never mean to hurt anyone who is part of my life on any level either, so when I do post about my relationships with family, friends or lovers I try to do it all in very respectful and private terms, never revealing actual identities or identifying factors.  They may see themselves, but that’s about as close as it would ever get with me.

I’ve been made to really rethink some things, as I was saying the other day in a blog about the stone Butch thing.  When the questions are posed correctly I find myself with a more serious thought process.  I like that because it challenges my set ways of thinking, and it’s never good to be too comfortable with thinking that you are every totally right about the way you think about something.  I’m in this sort of amazing learning curve myself, learning more about myself and more about the world too.  It’s kind of ironic the people who come into our lives to teach us things are sometimes the least likely, but the most well equipped to do the job.

I had today off.  Did some errands, and a whole lot of just chilling out, chatting online and via Skype…it was a good day.  As the sun is now headed down below the trees I am contemplating what to make for supper, and what to do with my evening here.  Oh wow…it’s Thursday, so there is football on TV tonight!  Yes, that’s what I will be doing with some of my time for sure, watching the game.  Amazing how simple I really am, it’s all about just having a good positive outlook and staying relaxed in most everything that I do.  This is a learned behavior, believe me.

 

 

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Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

1 thought on “Minor Addendum to My Rambles…”

  1. Hello Ang. The Capricorn horoscope …uh I can relate to it. I know that feeling that is so crappy ….pardon my French. That feeling when you think you found someone and it does not work out/ or you have a crush on someone and there are so many “buts” in between the crush and you. It frustrates the hell out of me. This is why I drink wine on occassions.

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