Understanding What Love Is..and Is Not

She says she wonders if I even know what love is.  (*Remember the crazy case a couple years back that said I wasn’t Butch because I wouldn’t do her?….same scenario, different woman)

And I do  know what love is.  And I know what it is not.

It’s not ignoring someone who cares deeply for you.  It’s not hiding from your emotions, and hiding your emotions from your lover.  It is keeping the communications lines completely open, being there when the other person needs you.  Love is about being loving.  It’s about showing affection and about paying attention.

Love is not hard.  Love is not difficult.  Love should come easily and be freely given.  If it’s not easy then it has to be worked on together if the two people want it to work.   Love is not a one way street, where one can just sit back and wait for the other all the time.

Not making your lover your priority is not love.  Even if you have other responsiblities in life you will find a way if it’s a priority.  No one is “too busy” ever.  If one is “too busy” then something is way out of whack.  Love is one of the biggest stress relievers known to man – and woman!  Love is knowing your partner, knowing what makes them tick and what they need and want in the relationship.  Love is not ignoring things – even little things.  Love is not putting them off until you have “time”.

Love is when two people really care and want to be together and they find a way to do exactly that – be together.   Love is being supportive and about also accepting support when you need it.  Love is not about saying things won’t work and then being angry when they don’t.  It’s about believing in the relationship, and making it work.

There are so many more things that love is about…I couldn’t list them all here.

Now, I’m not the one who doesn’t understand what Love is….

(taken from a much longer private post)


Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

3 thoughts on “Understanding What Love Is..and Is Not”

  1. I have the same idealism when it comes to this topic. I will always believe in it and will always believe that somewhere, out there, others believe the same. Until then, we move forward with positive and good intentions and someday, maybe, somehow we will find that dream realized.

    I hear you my friend. I really do.

  2. Thanks Roxi..I knew you’d particularly like this post, per our recent conversation about the women we’d each been seeing. I just can’t believe that because I want more interaction and communication that I get told that I don’t know what love is…irritating.

  3. You are right, love is not hard – it’s the easiest and most natural thing in the world. Relationships are the hard part but love makes all that worthwhile.

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