I have no idea what to blog about. I’ve been doing more reading than anything lately. There are other bloggers that I associate with who write and have been doing some really great stuff lately. I almost wish we could pull a bunch of the pieces together in one place and do a collaborative Butch-Femme blog. If anyone is interested in that type of endeavor please email me and let me know and I’ll see what I can come up with for a site design.
So I’ll start with the fact that I fucking hate Mondays. Just not my favorite day of the week. And this one has me questioning everything I am doing right now. I seems sure of things, then I start to doubt my thinking. So I need to refocus some energy, and take a slightly different road, and change my thinking just a bit. It’s all good though, all good.
I had a dream last night that my mother watched ALL of my videos…this has to be some Karmic reminder that I have to do some YT cleaning. So many of those videos are outdated, old and irrelevant. Anyway, it was a nightmare.
My surgery was 5 weeks ago today, I’m finally all healed up and pretty much back to my normal energy level and activities. I am pleased with the results and feel it was the best thing I’ve done for myself yet. It’s almost strange not to have the dysphoria anymore, and to be physically and mentally comfortable with my chest for a change. I have a little bit of bruising still, but it’s going down more and more by the day. And like my friend Carson told me would be the case, the feel of my nice cotton t-shirts directly against my skin is heavenly.
I’m still considering the piercing…my brother and I were going to go together to both get done…but I think I am going to wait a while longer as the memory of the initial pain here is still vivid in my mind right now. Not that I am afraid of pain, quite the opposite; I’m just trying to get used to the idea of someone jamming an 8 ga. needle through my nipple…once I can settle my mind on the idea then taking the pain will come to me naturally after that. 🙂 Someone out there knows exactly what I am saying.
Just thinking about that makes me remember that I have tattoo work that needs to be done over the winter this year. Winter is always best because it’s not as hot and the sun doesn’t fade the tats. Plus while you are sweating out the needle you’ll be happy to exit into the cooler weather. I love getting tats, and I kind of get high on the pain…anyone who has a bunch of them knows the feeling that I am talking about, it’s just this sort of mental submission and a giving over to the pain until it doesn’t hurt anymore and becomes pleasant actually. (Wow, now that’s hard to explain!) I am having a couple of older ones covered with newer tattoos and I am adding one for good measure. Anyway…I need to start looking to get some chair time scheduled over the coming months.
That’s all I got for today folks….and I had to make myself write. I’m one who if I stop writing I will stay stopped for months…which is not good for me, or my future plans. I need to go back to the prompts and do a bunch of those for a while, get the gears lubed back up and cranking right upstairs! Peace out. ~ MB