Just a Monday

I have no idea what to blog about.  I’ve been doing more reading than anything lately.  There are other bloggers that I associate with who write and have been doing some really great stuff lately.  I almost wish we could pull a bunch of the pieces together in one place and do a collaborative Butch-Femme blog.  If anyone is interested in that type of endeavor please email me and let me know and I’ll see what I can come up with for a site design.

So I’ll start with the fact that I fucking hate Mondays.  Just not my favorite day of the week.  And this one has me questioning everything I am doing right now.  I seems sure of things, then I start to doubt my thinking.  So I need to refocus some energy, and take a slightly different road, and change my thinking just a bit.  It’s all good though, all good.

I had a dream last night that my mother watched ALL of my videos…this has to be some Karmic reminder that I have to do some YT cleaning.  So many of those videos are outdated, old and irrelevant.  Anyway, it was a nightmare.

My surgery was 5 weeks ago today, I’m finally all healed up and pretty much back to my normal energy level and activities.  I am pleased with the results and feel it was the best thing I’ve done for myself yet.  It’s almost strange not to have the dysphoria anymore, and to be physically and mentally comfortable with my chest for a change. I have a little bit of bruising still, but it’s going down more and more by the day.  And like my friend Carson told me would be the case, the feel of my nice cotton t-shirts directly against my skin is heavenly.

I’m still considering the piercing…my brother and I were going to go together to both get done…but I think I am going to wait a while longer as the memory of the initial pain here is still vivid in my mind right now.  Not that I am afraid of pain, quite the opposite; I’m just trying to get used to the idea of someone jamming an 8 ga. needle through my nipple…once I can settle my mind on the idea then taking the pain will come to me naturally after that.  🙂 Someone out there knows exactly what I am saying.

Just thinking about that makes me remember that I have tattoo work that needs to be done over the winter this year.  Winter is always best because it’s not as hot and the sun doesn’t fade the tats.  Plus while you are sweating out the needle you’ll be happy to exit into the cooler weather.  I love getting tats, and I kind of get high on the pain…anyone who has a bunch of them knows the feeling that I am talking about, it’s just this sort of mental submission and a giving over to the pain until it doesn’t hurt anymore and becomes pleasant actually.  (Wow, now that’s hard to explain!)  I am having a couple of older ones covered with newer tattoos and I am adding one for good measure.  Anyway…I need to start looking to get some chair time scheduled over the coming months.

That’s all I got for today folks….and I had to make myself write.  I’m one who if I stop writing I will stay stopped for months…which is not good for me, or my future plans.  I need to go back to the prompts and do a bunch of those for a while, get the gears lubed back up and cranking right upstairs!  Peace out.  ~ MB

 

 

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Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

5 thoughts on “Just a Monday”

  1. tell me about tattooing over existing tats… I have one on my hand right in the triangle between the thumb and pointer. 20 yrs old faded and wasn’t good in the first lace. been wondering what to do with it. Did you create a new design that somehow works into the old or…?

    re: the pain thing – I totally get it with tat and gotta say something about a large hole being punctured in my nipple is beyond my imagination. if post op your chest feels anything like mine tho, now might be better before all the sensation returns. Just a thought.

    1. genderneutral, that tat on your hand – which we used to know as ‘dealer’ tats – can easily be covered, just see any decent tattoo artist and find something you like – or think up something – of a slightly larger size and it should cover easily, especially if it’s already faded. And I didn’t think of that, most of my sensation has returned already, so I don’t think it will matter as it’s just going to hurt period.

      1. thanks re tattoo. So did they do a graft of your nipples? I’m about 3 months post op with grafted nipples and just have ever so slight sensation returning at this point. That is great most of yours has returned. If I were the jealous type I would be jealous. 🙂

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