Goals..and 2014…

Usually people make New Years’ resolutions, not me I make them at like the end of February.  And it was about then this year started to take some interesting twists and turns…I started to go through changes and my thoughts were always full of things, so I decided to try to live the more simple route of making some basic “goals” to meet by the end of Fall this year.  Funny part is that they were 3 things that happened in the last 6 weeks or so.  But the preparation and lead up to them all was like they were all just meant to happen every step of the way.

The first was that I finally decided to go through with having the top surgery and I started pursuing the idea on June 5th with the first surgeon, and had the surgery by Aug 18th with the second much better surgeon.   The whole process and experience were totally positive.  I did meet one surgeon at first who I believe was severely homophobic / transphobic and who wasn’t real interested in doing the surgery.  Then I found a woman surgeon who I just think is great, she did a spectacular job and I healed up really fast.  I’m glad I got that done and over with successfully, and before Fall.

The second was that I wanted to meet more girls..be more social I guess, and that certainly started to happen for me I had a little fun flirting on line with a couple of girls for most of June and July…and then, not even expecting it, I met one woman that really has caught my interest very much so in August.   I really enjoy her and could easily spend days on end with her…we just have to work it in around some minor hurdles.  Now, at this point,  I don’t care to be talking to anyone else, just her…I so do need and want her in my life as much as possible.  She makes me feel good about life, makes me smile and laugh…yeah, she’s got me pretty captivated.

The third was that I HAD to get a new vehicle, with 4 wheel drive.  My old rat box truck, a 2000 Chevy S10 with a work box on the back…yeah it was very functional and useful, but it was pretty much at the end of it’s cosmetic life..it looked like crap and I beat the hell out of it, never cleaned it and used it for hauling everything!  So today I traded the old rat and got a GMC Envoy SUV, 6 cy  4WD, power / auto. in a silver or pewter color. It’s going to be my ride for the next 4 years, so I better like the damned thing. So far, so good.  And it is a nice looking vehicle.

Lately when I put my mind to things that I really can get them done, or make them happen somehow.  Call it good luck, or call it God’s will, or the way of the Universe…whatever it is it’s working really well for me right now.

NOW I am going to set my sights on winning the lottery or winning big in Vegas or maybe on a riverboat out of New Orleans….I’ll need a Lucky girl with me though….probably one who doesn’t like Vodka…that would be really who I’d want there…(don’t try to understand that last sentence, only one person will get it). Or maybe the Belize goat farming expedition…..yeah…

Seriously, I think that when I can find the opportunity to go to Belize and live and farm goats, etc., I would go in a heartbeat.  It’s this really weird drive in me to do it….but I can’t leave Maine yet…but if I do you’ll all know where to start looking for me!  Wonder if they have internet in Belize?  Satellite maybe?  hmm….    I suppose I’ll be living on solar energy…

In the near future I will be going back to work, hopefully with Home Depot again because I really like that job and working for that company.  I like it because it’s stuff I’ve been around all my life – construction and renovation stuff, lumber, nails, tools, and stuff…just good stuff.  Winter is coming on and it’s time to get back to work rather than be bored and hating the snow.  At least working keeps me focused, socialized and is a decent work out in there between all the leg work of walking that store 5-7 miles a day and all the lifting….ugh, my back won’t take too much more lifting, so I am going to try to get into the hardware and tool department….now I can sell some freakin tools!  🙂

Lori is leaving soon.  Somewhere around October 3rd.  We had a bonfire over the weekend, I had a couple of bonfires, so I don’t recall which day Lori came over…short term memory is failing me lately, lol.  Anyway, I was thinking that I am going to miss our conversations and the silliness that sometimes goes on with us.  We can crack a crude joke about just about any situation, and laugh our asses off over it.  Humor is one of my known personal defense mechanisms, I tend to use it to diffuse things, or to lighten them up from being so serious sometimes.  I can have a rather twisted sense of humor sometimes, so it’s not always good to take me seriously.

Then we had this Femme friend telling us this long and drawn out story about someone taking someone else for a ride on the stupid FB dating rollercoaster..omg we laughed, I kept whispering stuff at the phone….funny stuff if you were to hear it in relation to the conversation.  She was saying/complaining to us that “all her Butch did was drink beer and watch football on weekends”….I leaned over and said “and YOU are fetching the beers for her so she doesn’t have to get up, huh?”  Of course she was!!!  And she was complaining?  Hello!?  Of course that’s what her Butch was doing, now either there was some compromise, or if she’s like me Sundays are for football. Hey if you want to join me then great, but I’d really like to be parked somewhere – whether it’s home in my recliner or at the sports bar high top watching with a bunch of local rowdies, to watch the Sunday games.

Now, I have to ask/state the obvious here….

……there are at least a dozen Butches out there reading this right now saying “Hey, that’s what we do on Sundays too!”

So for this Femme to complain about her drinking is one thing, but to complain about 1 day a week of the good ole NFL, is completely another.  And maybe if you stopped fetching those beers for her, and chose to go off and do what you wanted to do or sat and watched with her – hell you might learn something and have a good time…it’s been known to happen!  I know many Femmes who are now also NFL fans because that’s how their Sundays are spent for 15 every winter.  Not such a bad way to spend a snowy December Sunday….watching a game and eating game food…falling asleep in the 4th quarter sometimes (if you aren’t watching your favorite team usually!) .   Can you tell this is one of my favorite things about this time of year?   And if I’m not watching the games on Sundays you’d best believe I am doing something either incredibly important or special, I generally don’t miss many Patriots games.  And to that Femme who was doing all that complaining – hey you could be dating some Butch who was into video games…now that would kinda suck even more because those are on all the time!

So yeah, I’ll miss Lori and her never-ending string of good stories, or how she seems to know everyone on Facebook’s lesbian groups pages…she’s kind of amazing in how she can navigate that scene sometimes.  She’s going to Arizona, and I hope her winter is a mild one there.

My buddy Suretta is moving in to Lori’s old place.  Which is terrific.  Suretta and I like to hit a lot of the antique places together and we have some really interesting conversations too.  But the conversations that I have with Suretta sometimes have more of a serious undertone to them than the silliness I have with Lori and I’s interactions.  I can definitely relate to Suretta on a more intellectual level.  We can talk war, politics, about LGBT stuff, gender bending conversations…or about antiques…the conversation just seems to flow with us.  She’s fast turning into a really close friend.  I’m going to enjoy having her here in the neighborhood.  As will Nola.

The Spring/Summer of 2014 has been a really good time.  Best times I have had in years actually.  I did so much, we had so many great parties and outtings over the summer.  And I changed my attitude, put together a plan of action and got it done…so to speak…let’s just hope that the rest of this year goes as well as things have gone the last few months.  🙂  ~MB

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