My Mid-Life Crisis…Riding America

AngonBike709I’ve been asked to write about my buck wild running away from home episode from 2007-2011…seems there is some curiosity about what happens when a Butch goes wild and roams the country via motorcycle.

While I don’t think that conveying every detail is going to happen here I can tell you of people that I met and a few funny incidents along the way.

Long story short, it all started this way…I was having issues in my marriage with fidelity and sex.  I was basically in a sex-less marriage by the 10th year, but I stuck it out.  Then I got interested in sex and was so tired of not being able to be intimate with my wife – who had formerly been a real little sex freak at one time – Another woman caught my eye.  She then proceeded to give me the attention and things I was missing from my marriage.  It turned out that she and I fell really hard for one another and I spent a few months in southern Utah with her and her teenage daughter.  She completely rocked my world; taught me more about myself than I ever thought that I could know. She allowed and encouraged me to be the Butch that I was mean to be – which I was not allowed to be in my previous marriage – she encouraged me to be my authentic self, and I did the same with her.  Her super Femme energy just fueled me like a rocket.  I’ll never forget those days.  We had a lot of really good times and we were good for one another, but  I eventually left and never saw her again…it was in her best interest I do believe, she had a hard time with her kid and I wasn’t making it any easier as I toe a hard line with know-it-all kids.  We had a bunch of incidents surrounding the daughter, and her behavior.  And she didn’t care for her mother being with such a Butch lesbian.  It just got hard for me and I had to leave.  I do thank her today for making me a better Butch; one that respects her woman and can handle things in much calmer ways.

So she was the catalyst that began my “mid-life” crisis…or my run from myself as some would say.  I needed to figure out where I fit in the world, and I seriously needed to blow off some pent up energy and steam.   During my trips out to Las Vegas and Hurricane Utah I would fly out and get around  by car – always renting awesome model cars.  The Mustangs were my favorite of course!  Money was easy then, I had just split an estate with my ex and had plenty of cash to throw around.   I even took the girl to Vegas repeatedly and she brought me great luck on those Blackjack tables.  I even took her to a nightclub one night and we had an awesome time there…yeah, that was  a pretty formative period of time for me.  I don’t regret one moment of it.  I only wish I hadn’t left like I did.  That could have been handled far better.

I spent a many days while in Utah laying under the painted hills in Zion canyon writing….I swear that I have never felt closer to God.  There is just something magical and god-like about the canyons and the desert landscape in that part of the country.  I can still close my eyes and fell what the sun felt like on my skin, the pen felt like in my hand and how easily the words flowed onto the paper that day.  Yes, back in the day of notebook blogging.  I was also doing the photography gig full time then, and there were a lot of photos taken that day…just wish I knew where they were now…

I bought the new motorcycle in 2008. A Kawasaki Vulcan 900, Maroon and sweet as hell.  It was an impulse purchase…a very expensive one.  But I laid out the cash and was happy as hell for the entire time I owned her.  I would like to own another one someday, but it’s not a must anymore.  The bike was my mid-life crisis in some ways, it gave me the freedom and ability to just pick up and go wherever, whenever.

Riding those long and lonely highways, sometimes in the dark of night, sometimes freezing, and sometimes just rolling with the purr of the engine between my legs.  Motorcycles for me are a power high.  I love the feel of having all that power at my beck and call.  I like the way the grips feel in my hands, gloves or no gloves.  I like the way my body flows with the ride, leaning into the curves, and laying back on the straight aways.  I love the feel of the power of the engine between my legs…A good bike is like a good woman, you treat her right always and she’ll have your back.

St. Louis…I met a couple at a bar, had some really cool conversation and ended up out on their yacht with them the next day fishing and basking in the sun.  They were really cool, and I think she had a thing for me, but I didn’t misbehave.  Although I do believe her husband would have been right on board had I wanted to take the woman.  Straight people make me laugh.

State by state bucking the helmet laws.  My hair was longer, and thus was windblown most of the time.  I did don the helmet in the helmet law states, but I use a half helmet…the brain bucket type.  So it wasn’t that bad.  My eye glasses were another story.  By the end of my couple of years of roaming around my glasses were all speckled from road grit wearing them down.  I traveled fairly light, I had my ruck sack strapped to the sissy bar on my bike, and a couple of saddle bags packed with essentials like my computer and necessary items.  Being a conscientious biker I did wear my full leathers for the ride.  Sometimes it was a hot one, but hot is better than hamburger burns from hitting pavement on a spill.  Plus what decent looking Butch doesn’t look ubber hot in leathers???

I spent many a night in seedy hotels, hey when you travel by motorcycle you need to keep costs down too.  Some were better than others, and I developed a liking for Motel 6 – they leave the light on for me.  (ha!)

I came to a realization that states put in grooved road surfaces just to fuck with bikers.  I would hate hitting and trying to stay up right on those grooved pavement areas where they were doing construction and tried to avoid them if possible.  It’s like riding a bike on ice without chains or spikes.

I met a really cool dude at a rest area outside of Lincoln Nebraska.  He was driving a very cool Triumph and on a long journey too.  We ended up getting some hoagies and having a picnic in that rest area park, and just talking and laughing; exchanging biker war stories.

I met a couple of sweet women along the way.  Got involved with one for about 8 months in Arkansas (never go there!).  A very hot young girl looking for a Daddi….after I had enough of that scenario I moved on down the road, but we did have some good times.  I can be good with the Daddi thing for a while, but it’s not really my strength.  I’m a great partner/lover and haven’t had any complaints in that department, but the Daddi/girl thing I still need to work on I guess.  Maybe it’s just not something I am seriously interested in full time anyways, plus I always get a little weird with the concept and it’s semi-relation to pedophilia – something I am NOT interested in being associated with at all.  But, throwing that thought aside, it is a very fun role playing game when I am in the right mood for it.

I rode with an all black bike gang through the Northeast corridor of NJ and NYC…that was super cool.   Not a word was exchanged.  Just glances, eye locks and looks and nods of approval.  I came up on them in NJ, probably about 30 riders and bikes.  I merged into the lane behind them, then one waved me up into the group who were riding 2 and 3 abreast.  I got some thumbs ups on my sharp looking bike and they seemed to just accept me into the group no problem.  We rode about 75 miles together before they veered off into NYC and I kept on going up 95.

I saw so much of the country it was just astounding.  I love driving.  I love riding.  I love wandering.  I’ve got a gypsy heart for sure.  It’s been a real effort to stay my ass back here in Maine.  If I didn’t have this home that I have I might possibly be back out on that highway, burning it up.   I rode through several mountain ranges, from the Appalacians to the Blue Ridges and out to the Rockies…never were my eyes bored with the gorgeous scenery of this vast country.  The states I didn’t ride were North and South Dakota…just didn’t see anything I needed to go up there for…plus I am really intrigued by the southwest and spent a good amount of time there riding Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Nevada, Oklahoma and Texas.

Of course there are lots of little stories of happenings along my journey.  I can’t get them all in here.  It was on my bucket list, to ride America in the wind, just me and the bike.  And I did it, with gusto.   I eventually landed in Austin TX and put the bike up for sale. It sold really quickly and I was off to Arkansas for a while…wow…I have been some places and seen some shit, and done some awesome things…I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

But now, I have a new woman in my life -one who is beautiful, smart and just awesome to me – and she’ll keep me here in Maine for sure, as this is where she is too.  I want to continue to grow that relationship and spend as much time with her as I possibly can.  She really has my heart and that’s not something that I give very freely.  I haven’t had this feeling toward any woman I ‘ve been with in the last 6 years….since my divorce…so it’s kind of fresh territory for me and I am treading lightly to make sure it goes down the right path.  She exudes this kind of good-girl Femme energy that really super turns me on.  It’s hard to get back into the mode of interacting with someone on this level, sometimes I get nervous and slide back a little, but she always manages to relax me and helps me forget whatever was on my mind.  I’ve said before, she’s got a pretty full life, but I have to figure out a way to fit in there somehow.  I’m not giving up on what I really see as a great start to something that could really be good for both of us.  Thus far I really like the dance.


2 thoughts on “My Mid-Life Crisis…Riding America

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  1. Neat story, but I have a lot of questions – why did you sell the bike in Texas, and what made you come back to Maine?
    I never sowed my wild oats, my trans epiphany has been my mid-life crisis. I guess top surgery will by my motorcycle.

  2. Jamie Ray…I sold the bike because it wasn’t practical at the time for me to keep it and I was bound to be killed on it sooner or later….Sold it in Austin because that’s where I was and I had decided to continue my voyage via airplane at that time. It was getting to be fall, and cold as hell riding. What made me come back to Maine? I think that Maine has some sort of “pull” on people. You boomerang back here once you have had a taste of life in the slower lane here, which is really a sweet life indeed. My family is all here, we date back in history to the founding family of this area, so my roots are very deep in the Maine soil. While I love to travel, and I am about due for another great voyage across country soon, I will always come back to my home – Maine. it’s where I will die one day I am sure. I love it here.

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