Playing with Fire

I hear this ramble about “feminism”, and while I am not college schooled on feminism and anti-feminist stuff, I am smart enough to know that we need to stop dividing the treatment of genders somehow.  Treat each other with mutual respect and give everyone the same rights, and regards in life.  Being male or female is just a distinguishment of biological gender.  Some see the female as the “weaker sex” which is just plain bullshit.  Let any man undergo the pain and agony of giving birth and then tell me who is “weak”. 

I am sometimes thrown the “misogynist” card…just because I prefer to date women who identify as “femmes”.  I do not see the type women that I am attracted to as any less than anyone else, I just feel more of an attraction for that “femme mystique,” as I call it.  In the Butch-Femme world I may even be inclined to call them the “stronger” of the two.  Femmes face a world where they are forced to basically “come out” time after time, hearing such shit as “you are too pretty to be a lesbian” and other uncalled for comments.  I admire them for their fortitude, and their poise and grace in dealing with the world and its uncomfortable questions. I respect them for the way most see me and my masculine presentation and do not question if I am male, female or that gray space in between – they just see me as I am and accept me as such.  I applaud them for their bravery in speaking out – for me – or for themselves and others who cannot speak, or will not dare. 

My respect for people in general is based upon their words and actions, not on what’s in their pants.  I have many good men in my life that I highly respect, because they also respect me and treat me as an equal, not as “less than” because I am female.  I’ve found in my many travels around this nation of ours that how men and women are treated –or treat each other- greatly varies from region to region.  (Don’t get upset here, I KNOW that not all are the SAME, but in general I notice differences in the way the two sexes negotiate their respective territories between themselves. 

The strength I have witnessed in southern women is amazing.  The reliance I admire in northern women astounding.  And that seemingly care-free attitude of the left-coasters is more than admirable in so many ways.  We are the sum of ourselves, of our personalities, of our upbringings, of our surroundings and most of all of our choices and decisions about ourselves.  Those who own all of those “parts” of themselves can seem to find happiness and contentment in most any place they choose to settle and in communities that support them as individuals.  It takes work in life to be who you ARE as an individual, to deal with some of the complexities of life and its challenges.  Strong people will attract other strong people to their circles, and vs. vs.   Negative types attract the same…it’s the seeming law of attraction at its finest! 

We all from time to time laugh hard at little sexual jokes or innuendos, yet depending up on who posts it on Facebook, or on which page it is posted it can be deemed anti-whatever (insert, female, male, trans, butch, femme, etc, etc.)  I have even had to deal with the twenty-five dollar word misogynistic.  (Who the hell made up that word and who in the universe gave it a fucking definition?)  According to Wikipedia the definition of

Misogyny is (pron.: /mɪˈsɒɪni/) is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.

I hate the word, the idea and the way that some people simply throw it around like confetti.  Every little thing that could be merely a funny joke or saying is somehow considered “misogynistic” by someone.  And that one person can pollute a page to convince many they are right.  I speak the truth and you know it.  It’s happened to me, to friends of mine to pages that I promote and I’ve had to deal with it through various means with various different personality types.  I’m not anti-woman or misogynistic in any way, but I DO have a fucking sense of humor!  If it’s funny, I am gonna laugh and laugh loudly!

Perhaps I will check out some books on Feminism and it’s history and culture…oh wait, I have a couple already!  (this is where all the do-gooders tell me their pics for fav books on feminism).  It’s not as easy as you think, it’s not always understood the same way by different people.  Respect of others, now that’s kind of easy to understand, so let’s all have that great respect for others and consider our audiences when speaking.  As I type this I am considering you, my audience, to whom I have been brutally honest about topics in the past, and from whom I have received some great advice, good reviews and constructive criticism without letting it wilt my growth in writing.   That’s all part of blogging, or video blogs…taking the heat and still playing with fire. 

I’m Butch; I play with fire…and I like it.

*Remember, the above is only MY personal opinion and experience.  

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Author: MainelyButch

I am a pretty relaxed, proud, Butch and a native Mainer who enjoys reading, writing, blogging, vlogging and social interaction. I live in southern Maine, near the coast with my 2 small dogs and I hail from a very large, loving family that is historically rooted here. I write about my life, my experiences, living successfully with HIV, my YouTube experiences, and just about anything that piques my interest. This blog may contain profanity and sexual situations, and is not intended for younger audiences. Read at your own risk. At 54 I see life as just beginning a new chapter, and have decide this is the time that I need to write the stories that got me to this point. I believe we live our lives in chapters, changing, evolving and moving continuously with the times. I love to laugh, have discussions, debates and even the occasional nonsense conversation! I generally enjoy people, but not drama, hatred, ignorance or those who choose to feel they are somehow elite or superior to another simply due to their mere existence. I try to be very conscious of the health of the world around me - environmentally, socially, economically, and ethically. The people who are dear to me know me as having a tough exterior, filled with marshmallow and crunchy peanut butter. I continually strive to be the best I can be, especially to address life head on...always.

5 thoughts on “Playing with Fire”

  1. Reblogged this on Butch Anew and commented:
    Definitely have to blog about feminism – though I think a round table discussion would be more productive. 🙂

    I respect MainleyButch’s opinion – just wish we could sort out some of the details…

  2. Hi!
    I’ve been following you since I first met your other blog and then your youtube channel. It’s true that I can’t follow all your posts and all your videos, but I read you see you one in a while. Now, I’m back in Mexico. I belong here, but I want you to know that one of the best things I discover in USA was you. Probably we have very different life styles, but we share many views, which is amazing, thinking that we speak different languages, we look like different, you like femmes and I like more masculine women, etc. I hope you’re doing well.

  3. Hey MB. I think it’s odd that anyone would call you :misogynistic”. Just because you are attracted to a particular KIND of woman (Femme), as opposed to OTHER kinds of women. Is this coming from other non-Femme-ID’d lesbians? I don’t get it. So who cares what those OUTSIDE the Butch-Femme LGBT community think? I just don’t get these gender identity prejudices in OUR OWN community. It’s BS and it needs to STOP!

  4. I love reading your blog and your “take no shit” attitude….”I’m Butch; I play with fire and I like it” , brilliant! You are an inspiration , stay strong!

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