A MainelyButch Ramble about Privacy…

Our online privacy is a joke.  If you are online in any way you have no real privacy without some dedicated work to hiding your identity in the first place.

I have been vlogging about Youtube and online privacy lately.  (Link)  and today one of my favorite fellow bloggers, Vulnerable Verbiage (Link) spoke in her blog about online identity and privacy and how our online presence affects us as far as employment and things like that goes. 

I’m an online blogger and vlogger.  The past 4 years I have established and developed a sort of online presence via Youtube, Facebook and WordPress.  All are tied closely together, and my identity is a known thing.  My face is a known face and my Butch Perspectives are known as well.  It’s something I chose personally to do.  It’s not easy sometimes, to separate my truly personal life from my online life, but I do manage to keep some things close to the vest, having only a few very close friends who known all of me…or more of me is more like it. 

Online I think sometimes people view me as the bad ass stone Butch from Maine that seems to always have an opinion, can take some constructive criticizing comments and keep a level head.  What they don’t see is the softer side of MainelyButch that fights depression, anxiety and other adversity every fucking day.   What is seen and what is written about are snippets of my real life, small nuggets of either stupidity, sillines or my tweaked form of “wisdom” of life.  But they are not always near the real me in truth.

I can tell you a story of long ago, of a kid that knew it was about to be a hard walk even before I stepped out of the front door of my parents’ home and into the adult world on my own; who joined the Army in an attempt to escape dealing with emotional issues that still led to addiction and self-sabotage and much near self-destruction.  I could tell you stories of acid trips and eating smelts that appeared to be looking at me with dead eyes and laughing.  (fishy fishy…)  There were drunken nights drinking Tequilla in Juarez Mexico that garner a solid chapter in a book, let alone the Jack days in Germany…  Then there were times of me trying to pull it together in recovery and rehabilitation and a changing of attitudes toward the world and myself.  The bottles still hang around the house, but my consumption is far less these days.

Today I drink too much coffee, smoke a few too many Newports and swear like a fucking sailor.  I collect knives, talk in a funny voice to the dog, and bon fires turn me on…or at least make me make the Butch grunting noise a lot. Some days I pack, most I don’t.  I can be lazy, crack stupid jokes and be a fool sometimes.  I gain weight like a black bear in winter, and I shed it come spring when I emerge from my Butch cave.   I can work like a dog, or sleep like a dog, and given the right circumstances, fuck like a bunny…  I despise authority, yet can be pretty personally authoritative. 

Yeah, there’s a lot known about me via my videos.  But there’s a lot more that’s still unknown…unless I disclose it in some way. 

I learned not to worry about what people think too much, and even less about what they say about me.  Some of the personal relationships I have formed due to my online presence are priceless.  I’ve made some great connections and I’ve also met some weirdos along the journey…just like in face to face daily life!

I didn’t really get into the internet craze until the end of my professional career, so I never gave the work issue much thought, and I don’t plan on going to work for any large company who would ever care about my online life…but I can definitely see where online doings would be different if I were to consider employment with someone who cared

I have much respect for Vulnerable Verbiages choice to remain anonymous to the world…but personally I’d love to know who she is…guess it’s the curious Butch in me… 

(above is sheerly conjecture and my personal ramblings…take it with a grain of salt…and an oxy…LOL


7 thoughts on “A MainelyButch Ramble about Privacy…

Add yours

  1. LOL! It’s the curious Butch in you, Honey! 😉
    Honestly, if it weren’t for my dirty erotica I don’t think there’d be an issue at all. But, I got to get it out of my system somehow.
    *Looks up and shrugs*
    I’m pondering on ways to go public. I trust a selective few from online who know my real name and face. An even smaller group of people know what I do and where I work. I’ve seriously considered doing away with my personal Facebook and strictly keeping V.V. Jobs usually find you by emails addresses and your name.
    So, I’d like to think they would figure me out…

    1. they will figure it out as soon as they know what you write, just because that is the nature of the beast!
      We should collaborate someday and put stories together. I don’t publish them here but it sounds like fun.

  2. absolutely love this one, and it is so revealing and so you. Privacy is a funny thing just when you think you want it it’s gone, and just when you want the world to know something, it all shuts down. I suppose that is the Universes way of telling you something! So the question then becomes how much influence does one have over the affairs of the Universe?

  3. It’s hard to compartmentalize and not tip too much of your hand in an environment that necessarily creates a false sense of intimacy with strangers, like fb, youtube, or the blogosphere. (I know I’m too and effusive and indiscriminately self-disclosing for my own good…) I’m glad you’ve found a transparency level that works for you, though, and that you’ve come to an understanding of how your online presence integrates with your daily live-and-in-color experience.

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